Methods Of Suicide And Their Stats [Pic]

Submitted by: catbarf 5 years ago in Science

Very grim--I"m going to assume this is used for forensics detectives. Also, what"s Seppuku? Also, heh at the last one.
There are 65 comments:
Male 36
You guys do realize that this is just a drawn out Comic Sans joke, right?
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Male 294
OD on illegal/prescription drugs?

If we`re talking about downers, I wonder if there`s any such thing as a negative amount of agony? I think just getting really high, and then sort of nodding off and never waking up would be one of the most pleasant ways to die. Of course if we`re talking about uppers it would be an extraordinarily unpleasant experience, but I don`t think we are.

Really though there`s so many crazy things one could do if they didn`t have to face the consequences. Heck, go grab a gun and steal a bulldozer and run some poo over. Go rob a candy store or a WaWa and eat to your hearts content, or rob a pharmacy and just have a sampler of all their goods.

At the end just have a shootout with the cops and take some of those pigs with you.

...then after I think about all that stuff I could do it cheers me up anyways.

Still, the fact that anyone feels so bad that they legitimately want to die is awful. Such is the world though. It`s n
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Male 910
Probably the most stupid and misinforming piece of junk i`ve ever seen on the internet, and i`ve watches creationist videos.
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Male 540
The joke is not funny, the entertainment here is pointing out how stupid and wrong this thing is.

Electrocution is a portmanteau word, combining electricity and execution. By definition it is 100% lethal or it is not electrocution.
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Female 685
It still amazes me how the IAB mods know how to post this boring crap, yet don`t know how to type words into Google.
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Female 12
Seppuku is a Japanese form of suicide that is supposed to preserve honor. Watch "The Last Samurai" it explains it well XD
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Male 341
im pretty sure a shotgun to the head takes less than a minute.. And unless soutpark`s Brittany Spears told you the pain level, I doubt there is any pain at all.
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Male 5,810
BTW you hear about the cannable who was accidently locked in a closed veggie dinner over a long holiday? He ate himself to death.
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Male 5,810
Seppuku is the art of opening owns bowls with a knife or sword. Why is self engorgement not on this list? And these should also be rated according to style. Drowning yourself in a pool while on a cruse ship in the middle of the qcean should certenly rank higher than a shotgun to the head.
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Male 329
Would give this a 3/4.. but docking it a point cause the "what`s seppuku" in the description.. seriously?
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Male 2,419
@Vimto
Actually almost drowning can trigger pulmonary edema and kill you DAYS later.
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Male 2,862
If you take 18 mins to drown you`re doing it wrong.
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Male 321
@Enomai

Russian secret agents.
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Male 1,091
Seriously? All that for a comic sans joke?
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Male 1

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Male 10,855
1.72 minute to make your own head literraly vanish?

WTF?
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Male 1,931
I don`t agree with the pain ratios they allocate to some of these, or the time constraints for some.
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Male 43
Was kinda obvious it was BS after number 2 really, who the hell kills themselves with cyanide in this day and age?
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Male 700
just realized I had been trolled, doh
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Male 239
Seppuku is the act of disembowelling yourself, usually with a sword.
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Male 2,513
Also, Comic sans can be construed as not-funny

Also, so can that pic
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Male 550
Comic sans jokes are as out as Comic sans
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Male 6,737
Meh.
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Male 3,894
Comic sans joke? Come on, we`re better than this.
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Male 4,902
What a cheerfull post
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Female 494
Weird that I`d see this now... :/
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Male 2,345
lame joke was lame.
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Male 434
All that to lead up to that punchline? LOL. That`s a groaner. I personally have nothing against the font. It`s laid back and passive aggressive, like me. :)
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Male 2,552
Yea, I`m not so sure about those "duration" times. 1.72 seconds for a shotgun to the head to end it? What`s counted as still being alive the millisecond after the shotgun has put a huge hole where one`s head used to be?
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Male 46
If you have a 48.5% chance of surviving your seppuku, both you and your "assistant" are doing it wrong. Comic Sans might be a better alternative for you.
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Male 612
i`ve never met someone who committed suicide that regretted it.
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Male 486
I agree. It usually only takes me a second or two to die from a self-inflicted shotgun blast in the ol` kisser.
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Male 2,034
I really don`t think a shotgun to the head takes 1.72 minutes to kill you. Pretty sure it`s near instantaneous.
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Male 25,417
Comic Sans really.. thats so dumb
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Male 508
What`s with all the intolerance over comic sans? I don`t get it.

Btw if drowning is 18.5 minutes I really need to stop smoking. I thought holding my breath for 3 minutes was decent.
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Male 321
comic sans, what a way to go...
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Male 1,252
As far as seppuku goes almost all the description dont quite do it justice... it is for ronin that are no longer samurai, the abdomen is cut sideways..then the blade turned and forced upwards. It is sheer hell...taking up to 2 - 3 days to die in pure agony. IF you are lucky enough to have a friend..they would generally stand behind you and take your head after the act was done..however being stripped of honour and failing your task chances are...

@Chives totally not seeing the joke >.>
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Male 289
Seppuku = Hari-kari
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Male 1,674
"Really, In a time when we have a million of TV channels and unlimited Internet access, how come there is still people who doesnt know what Seppuku is?"

My internet access is limited. I`m only allowed 250GB per month.

wait, what?
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Male 15,510
Really, In a time when we have a million of TV channels and unlimited Internet access, how come there is still people who doesnt know what Seppuku is?
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Male 2,855
slow means over 105 minutes? because i would consider slow 10 minutes to kill myself, so i dont get it, i think this list is very innacurate
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Male 934
Sure would suck to be the 1% who survived a shotgun to the head...
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Male 1,674
a friend of mine tried to kill himself using comic sans... fortunately the EMT on the scene knew helvetica so....
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Male 15,190
"How does Shotgun duration have 1.72 minutes" That`s what happens when you put the butt in your mouth
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Male 55
How are so many people not getting the joke?
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Female 4,086
@BlankTom. good M*A*S*H reference. i thought i was the only geek who knew all the words.
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Male 1,832
@kummi90 Well, I can`t say from personal experience, but I don`t think you`d feel too much after the shotgun.

Also, I`m disappointed that the coolest method of suicide isn`t on here: Shotgun to the dick!
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Male 541
How does Shotgun duration have 1.72 minutes, and if it does, how come the agony is only 5, when agony for CO poisoning is 18? You`d think sleeping and never waking up would be less agonizing that shotgun to the face?
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Male 2,199
i think the extra time is where ur heart is still beating and pumping blood through the body... but that still seems too long...
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Male 179
somebody needs to watch Ronin!
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Male 1,674
I don`t get the agony thing cause everyone knows that suicide is painless but it does bring on many changes. All in all, i can take it or leave it if i please.
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Male 329
The whole thing is bs. The last entry pretty much says it`s nonsense. #2 is cyanide? Would your average despondent person run out to the cyanide store?
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Male 5,148
Using Comic Sans??
What does it mean?
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Male 422
Did you all miss the last one or something? :D
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Female 178
"Seppuku (切腹, "stomach-cutting") is a form of Japanese ritual suicide by disembowelment. Seppuku was originally reserved only for samurai."
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Male 23
almost 2 minutes to die from a shotgun to the head? That doesn`t seem right to me.
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Male 376
yeah.... I call BS,

how do you live for another minute and half after you`ve taken a shotgun to the head?
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Male 329
@Buzzard250: Harakiri?
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Male 329
Seppuku is a form of Japanese ritual suicide by disembowelment.
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Female 362
Isn`t seppuku Japanese honor killing? When samurai stab themselves in the heart with a dagger or fall on their swords?
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Male 3,842
Seppuku is Japanese ritual disembowelment. Usually in the movies it is shown by someone impaling himself (or herself) on a sword. Seems a particularly slow and painful method.
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Male 10
Seppuku is the japanese samurai form of suicide through the bushido code done by disembowlment. Done to keep one`s honor instead of falling into the hands of an enemy, done due to one`s own shame, or capitol punishment. The samurai`s sidesword, or tanto, is inserted into the abdomen, then slices from left to right causing the entrails to spill all over the ground.
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Male 2,700
Seppuku = Self Disembowelment
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Male 341
Seppuku "Harakiri" is the traditional way to disembowel yourself.
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Male 1,455
Link: Methods Of Suicide And Their Stats [Pic] [Rate Link] - Very grim--I`m going to assume this is used for forensics detectives. Also, what`s Seppuku? Also, heh at the last one.
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