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Category: Funny
Date: 10/01/11 03:00 PM

46 Responses to How Will Global Warming Stop? Aliens!

  1. Profile photo of Illiterate
    Illiterate Male 18-29
    2 posts
    September 28, 2011 at 3:52 pm
    Link: How Will Global Warming Stop? Aliens! - NASA scientists are worried that aliens could attack earth to end global warming. And no, not illegal aliens either.
  2. Profile photo of xCYBERDYNEx
    xCYBERDYNEx Male 18-29
    4903 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 3:10 pm
    I`m literally shocked this wasn`t posted by madest.
  3. Profile photo of sethmccary
    sethmccary Male 18-29
    208 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 3:26 pm
    Like, Whoa dude. That`s totally far-out, man. If you get really high, then read it, it`s so much more believable
  4. Profile photo of sethmccary
    sethmccary Male 18-29
    208 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 3:34 pm
    OHHHH, I understand now why a (government backed) major news corporation would write something like this. There is only one tool that they have left to control the masses since the majority of the public does not seem to find them credible anymore. I saw the same thing in the National Inquirer once.
  5. Profile photo of jteachey1
    jteachey1 Male 18-29
    122 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 3:37 pm
    Fox news. I dont care
  6. Profile photo of sethmccary
    sethmccary Male 18-29
    208 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 3:37 pm
    Even aliens don`t like MANBEARPIG!
  7. Profile photo of paperduck
    paperduck Male 18-29
    1745 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 3:37 pm
    I find it hard to believe that a university academic or NASA professional would say that. It`s one thing to say we`ve altered our planet`s atmosphere (ok), but quite another to say we threaten the universe. There are trillions of different planetary atmospheres out there.
  8. Profile photo of M_Archer
    M_Archer Male 18-29
    525 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 4:12 pm
    I`m not saying it was aliens...

    BUT IT WAS ALIENS
  9. Profile photo of TKD_Master
    TKD_Master Male 18-29
    4794 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 4:33 pm
    "I find it hard to believe that a university academic or NASA professional would say that. It`s one thing to say we`ve altered our planet`s atmosphere (ok), but quite another to say we threaten the universe. There are trillions of different planetary atmospheres out there."

    We don`t threaten the universe derp, we threaten this planet. Do you know how incredible it is to find a life-sustaining planet? VERY. this planet is invaluable to intelligent life forms. And it`d be silly for an educated person to NOT say that we risk being attacked by aliens, it is FACT that they exist, it is theory that they won`t like what we are doing to the planet.
  10. Profile photo of EgalM
    EgalM Male 30-39
    1707 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 4:36 pm
    "The thought-provoking scenario" So fox is now a pooty tabloid, never saw that coming. *rolls eyes*

    Or should I just comment "at least there thinking for a change"?
  11. Profile photo of Seak
    Seak Male 18-29
    1505 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm

  12. Profile photo of Talcho
    Talcho Male 18-29
    49 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 4:54 pm
    It`s called reverse reporting, they report something so far out there the the reader has to call bullpoo and doubt the message of the report, global warming. Sneaky sneaky Fox news!
  13. Profile photo of OutWest
    OutWest Male 50-59
    546 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 5:01 pm
    When they aliens come to save us from ourselves, can they please take Al Gore back with them. He could use some more probing, don`t you think?
  14. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10443 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 5:25 pm
    Hopefully this was posted so we could make fun of it... right?? Otherwise f*ck you.

    The article reads like a C-grade sci-fi plot turned into a book or movie no one ever reads/sees.

    If the point is to entertain us with bullsh*t, they ought to at least do a better job of it.
  15. Profile photo of ScottSerious
    ScottSerious Male 18-29
    5316 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 5:25 pm
    the day the earth stood still
  16. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10443 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 5:35 pm
    we threaten this planet.
    No we don`t.
    Do you know how incredible it is to find a life-sustaining planet?
    Not as incredible as you think. We`ve found several that are earth-like. It also depends on what you think of as life. Earth is "perfect" for us because we evolved here, not because it`s universally "perfect". So that`s a loaded question.
    this planet is invaluable to intelligent life forms.
    Depends on what sort of life.
    And it`d be silly for an educated person to NOT say that we risk being attacked by aliens
    First you must prove they exist, then you must prove that aliens can be hostile.
    it is FACT that they exist
    Nope. It`s just statistically likely. Prove first, then you can call it a fact.
  17. Profile photo of redspade
    redspade Male 13-17
    150 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 6:08 pm
    someone has watched "The day the Earth Stood Still" one too many times.
  18. Profile photo of Revolutioniz
    Revolutioniz Male 18-29
    911 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 6:13 pm
    Fox news..
  19. Profile photo of darkmagic14n
    darkmagic14n Male 18-29
    1625 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 7:44 pm

  20. Profile photo of Rawrg
    Rawrg Male 18-29
    934 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 8:41 pm
    Now all the ultra conservatives can say, "See, these climate scientists are all wackos!"

    Well played Fox. Well played.
  21. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25406 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 9:24 pm
    NASA... there was a reason we love ya!
  22. Profile photo of HalfPintRoo
    HalfPintRoo Female 18-29
    2758 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 9:27 pm
    But, why would they eat us if if they thought we were a threat to them being so dirty?
  23. Profile photo of Draculya
    Draculya Male 40-49
    14544 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 9:57 pm
    Let`s say we were a super advanced civilisation somewhere else capable of travelling to another star system (Earth) that we had discovered was full of less advanced but still intelligent life.

    The logical thing would be to either avoid first contact, or immediately destroy all life on said planet to avoid competition.

    It`s not easy to colonise another planet. Earth don`t have any particular resources that would justify the trip. No point in saving them from themselves, for sure.
  24. Profile photo of robosnitz
    robosnitz Male 40-49
    2737 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 10:04 pm
    Ok, I look at it this way. If I have a pet, I have to take care of it. Clean it, feed it, love it. BUT, If it`s an experiment with an animal, to see how well it does on it`s own with limited capabilities, in it`s environment,I expect some downfalls. My case in point, My 13 year old is an A honor roll student,Very knowledgeable with math and computers and the English language. She dresses well, and is Hygenic. But her bedroom is not only a disaster, but should be condemned. Flies,maggots,fruit flies,rotting garbage,Filth,Stench and CHAOS. You literally have to climb over shat to wake her up, if the electric goes out and the alarm doesn`t go off.
    So every month, I kick her out, and clean house.I get rid of EVERYTHING! Bug gas it, lysol it, and burn what I can.
    That`s just me and my really smart filthy ass kid. Now if you were a alien race, complete with kick ass space travel,looking down at the Earth watching us, would you really wanna say,"HI."
    Think about it.
  25. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15844 posts
    October 1, 2011 at 10:30 pm
    Published August 19, 2011
  26. Profile photo of spanerbulb
    spanerbulb Male 30-39
    1244 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 1:57 am
    I really don`t think we need to worry about this scenario. The chances of there being intelligent alien life close enough to our planet to detect the changes in atmosphere and be able to get here in a realistic time scale are probably pretty remote. Space is vast and empty, it`s likely life is spread far and wide (that of course assumes we aren`t the only intelligent life (such as it is))
  27. Profile photo of bataleon27
    bataleon27 Male 18-29
    1178 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 2:16 am
    `Scientists`? Really? What part of that scenario is based on science or fact? It`s all just speculation and imagination...
  28. Profile photo of Qwertyuiop95
    Qwertyuiop95 Male 18-29
    215 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 2:34 am
    Where from the journey from fact to this description did "scientist" turn into "scientists"?
  29. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12390 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 5:25 am
    "Do you know how incredible it is to find a life-sustaining planet?"

    Not as incredible as you think. We`ve found several that are earth-like.

    While the rest of your post is right, that statement is almost as wrong as TKD Master`s habit of claiming that their beliefs are proven facts.

    When used by astronomers, the phrase "Earth-like" does NOT mean that the planet is capable of sustaining any life, let alone that it has an environment anything like Earth.

    In astronomy, "Earth-like" only really means that the planet is probably rocky.

    Mars is far and away the most "Earth-like" planet known.

    The most "Earth-like" exoplanet found so far is Gliese 581g. It`s tide-locked (so one side is baked and the other is frozen). It might be rocky. It has ~3 times the mass of Earth. It might or might not have an atmosphere. It might or might not have any protection from harmful radi
  30. Profile photo of tedgp
    tedgp Male 30-39
    3287 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 5:42 am
    i saw the words foxnew, then quit the webpage.

    Fail iab. Fail.
  31. Profile photo of darkmagic14n
    darkmagic14n Male 18-29
    1625 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 6:17 am
    "`Scientists`? Really? What part of that scenario is based on science or fact? It`s all just speculation and imagination..."

    thats how hypotheses work

    @Angilion:

    but you`re assuming all alien life will look like us or have the same body type
    morgan freeman explains
  32. Profile photo of Burguntea01
    Burguntea01 Male 18-29
    41 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 6:32 am
    This whole article honestly sounds to me like someone who works at fox news is either having a laugh, or is being laughed at. Let`s just say, old foxnews joe here is walking around tryin` to find a story, bumps into Mr. Works at NASA Smith. Offer`s a short interview, at which point NASA guy thinks "trolol, ok" and makes up a load of bullpoo to laugh at foxnews as they print a story about how NASA believe aliens are gonna attack us to do the cleaning up....
  33. Profile photo of lukas1051
    lukas1051 Male 18-29
    3428 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 7:13 am
    Galactic ecosystem?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Can`t say I`d expect any less from FOX News.
  34. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36182 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 7:35 am

    Maybe global warming IS the attack!
    We aren`t changing the climate, they are.
    They`re terraforming the Earth to their homeworld.
  35. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12390 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 10:03 am
    @Angilion:

    but you`re assuming all alien life will look like us or have the same body type

    You`re making up something silly and pretending it`s me doing it. At best, your mindreading powers are failing you and leading you into delusion.

    If you disagree with what I actually wrote, please provide proof that humans have found several planets with life on them (as opposed to having found several planets that have been described as "Earth-like", leading to widespread misunderstanding of what that term means to an astronomer).
  36. Profile photo of jimbobsthebe
    jimbobsthebe Male 18-29
    639 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 11:01 am
    @ Angilion

    I completely agree. Earth like can mean a lot of things and it`s ridiculous to assume that Earth-like would mean identical to the properties of Earth.

    I personally think it`s statistically improbably for aliens to not exist. I would even go as for to say that it is extremely unlikely for there not to be more intelligent creatures than us in the Universe. However, to say that other intelligent life would threaten us because of the damage we are causing to our planet is ridiculous. If highly intelligent creature were monitoring us, I`m sure they wouldn`t consider us a threat in the slightest.
  37. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12390 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 11:11 am
    I completely agree. Earth like can mean a lot of things and it`s ridiculous to assume that Earth-like would mean identical to the properties of Earth.

    It`s more extreme than that in the appropriate context. The context was the labelling of several exoplanets as "Earth-like". All it means in that context is that the planets are probably rocky and receive a similar amount of energy from their star.

    The rest I agree with completely. We know people can exist (because we do). We know that there are a vast number of stellar systems, so many that it would be odd if anything that can happen hasn`t happened more than once.

    If they could find us and monitor us, we`re less of a threat to them than a stone age tribe attacking a fully equipped modern military force, land and air. The technology gap would be at least that large.
  38. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12390 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 11:15 am
    Although there`s the possibility of an attack on the basis that humans might potentially become a possible threat at some point in the future. Savage, but more technologically advanced people wouldn`t necessarily be nice.

    But even just this one galaxy is so large that it`s very unlikely that we`d be found by any other people, if they exist.
  39. Profile photo of slimofswiv
    slimofswiv Male 30-39
    116 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 12:04 pm
    lmao, you americans are crackers, you believe in god, aliens, anything and everything lol, come get the loch ness monster being ridden by a yeti to fight the aliens lol
  40. Profile photo of Corydoras87
    Corydoras87 Male 18-29
    642 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 4:07 pm
    fact: "aliens" can be categorized..
    Category 1, scientists who just come here because they want to "have a look".. they gave up any chance to ever communicate with their home planet, just to meet us. That would be the nicer alternative.

    Category 2: looking for asylum. These "aliens" had to leave their home planet because their planet was dying. ( no, not the "flu" that our planet has, I mean their star is about to die, and so will the planet). These will be bad for us, because in any observed case where "finders" met "the found".. the finders survived and the people who get found had bad chances..

    Category 3: warriors.. meh.. very unlikely.. not even going to go there..

    What HAS to be true is that they can`t be uncontrolled and savage.. they must be highly technological, calm, controlled and "good" because they wouldn`t have survived the travel to us over generations if they were shoo
  41. Profile photo of mcboozerilla
    mcboozerilla Male 30-39
    646 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 5:23 pm
    Our tax dollars at work. :-|
  42. Profile photo of OutWest
    OutWest Male 50-59
    546 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 7:55 pm
    @slimofswiv lmao, you americans are crackers, you believe in god, aliens, anything and everything lol, come get the loch ness monster being ridden by a yeti to fight the aliens lol

    Ah, and as a European you are much more advanced so you believe in NOTHING? Now that is truly funny!
  43. Profile photo of kittyloaf
    kittyloaf Male 18-29
    214 posts
    October 2, 2011 at 8:14 pm
    Scientists == undergrad in an intro to philosophy class who got high and wrote a paper. There is no evidence or facts, just wild speculation, so there is no science.
  44. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12390 posts
    October 3, 2011 at 12:11 am
    What HAS to be true is that they can`t be uncontrolled and savage.. they must be highly technological, calm, controlled and "good" because they wouldn`t have survived the travel to us over generations if they were shoo

    It`s a comforting idea, but advances in technology don`t seem to make everyone calm, controlled and good. Human technology today is vastly more advanced than it was even just a few hundred years ago, but humans are the same.

    Even if the hypothetical aliens did need to use generation ships (and why would they - they have technology we can hardly imagine based on science we don`t yet know), that doesn`t require them to be benevolent to aliens (i.e. us). They could hate outsiders while living peacefully, or at least nonviolently, with each other. Or they could be at war with each other, but a ship crewed by one side could be "good" to each other while attacking anyone else.
  45. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12390 posts
    October 3, 2011 at 12:13 am
    Or they could live in an authoritarian state that imposes internal co-operation and suppresses dissent, but is still highly aggressive to outsiders.

    It is not definitely necessary for a technologically advanced society to be benevolent to everyone from everywhere.
  46. Profile photo of dang007
    dang007 Male 30-39
    596 posts
    October 3, 2011 at 9:47 am
    >>It`s a comforting idea, but advances in technology don`t seem to make everyone calm, controlled and good. Human technology today is vastly more advanced than it was even just a few hundred years ago, but humans are the same.
    <<<

    But in general much less violent that before.

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