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74 Comments - View/Add
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Rating: 2.3
Category: Funny
Date: 10/07/11 03:35 PM

74 Responses to Halloween With Jesus? It`s JesusWeen! No Really

  1. Profile photo of Pooptart19
    Pooptart19 Male 18-29
    2441 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 3:36 pm
    Link: Halloween With Jesus? It`s JesusWeen! No Really - Why celebrate and have fun on Halloween when you could bring people to Christ instead!
  2. Profile photo of patchouly
    patchouly Male 40-49
    4746 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 3:43 pm
    If they tried to give one of those things to my kid, I would politely decline the offer. Then gripe about it later.

    What? That`s what I`d do...
  3. Profile photo of LillianDulci
    LillianDulci Female 18-29
    2674 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 3:43 pm
    I`d be sooooooo pissed if anyone gave my kids religious books, even if I was part of that religion, for Halloween. It`s no ones place to try to indoctrinate my kids into their religion without my consent. >:(
  4. Profile photo of fghj
    fghj Male 30-39
    392 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 3:50 pm
    jesus weiner
  5. Profile photo of mervviscious
    mervviscious Male 40-49
    1793 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 3:51 pm
    they will do anything to bother people... and ruin a great holiday....
  6. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36665 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    Sure. Let`s do RomaJesus and RoshaJesus while we`re at it.
  7. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7469 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 3:52 pm
    Come on Jesusfreaks, lets not take more of the calender for Jesus. Keep your Jesus out of my October, and especially out of my birthday.
  8. Profile photo of dragosal
    dragosal Male 18-29
    1630 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 3:53 pm
    -_-; i was waiting for the onion logo. sadly it didnt come
  9. Profile photo of markust123
    markust123 Male 40-49
    3889 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 3:53 pm
    There was a religious nut case in the neighborhood I grew up in that looked and acted exactly like the mother in the movie Carrie. She used to hand out miniature bibles on Halloween. All it did was make us hate her more. Oddly enough her daughter also burned alive in a fire.

  10. Profile photo of Justin9235
    Justin9235 Male 18-29
    1582 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 3:58 pm
    @patchouly
    I`d like to say that I`d throw it on the ground, spit on it and then say "THERE IS NO GOD!".. but I`d probably do the same thing XD
  11. Profile photo of ggolbez
    ggolbez Male 18-29
    1933 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 4:05 pm

  12. Profile photo of robosnitz
    robosnitz Male 40-49
    2737 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 4:13 pm
    Fuq that. I want candy.
  13. Profile photo of arime
    arime Female 30-39
    23 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 4:17 pm
    I was waiting for the Onion logo thinking this had to be a joke. Most churches already have their little harvest festivals (you can`t convince them that it is more pagan to do that) that should be enough for them. Where I live, those have become large enough events that trick or treating no longer exists
  14. Profile photo of Dad4Life
    Dad4Life Male 50-59
    2081 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 4:26 pm
    She`s pretty hot.
  15. Profile photo of Bottleofrum
    Bottleofrum Male 18-29
    163 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 4:48 pm
    shes hot, id do her


    tits
  16. Profile photo of xiquiripat
    xiquiripat Male 18-29
    2422 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 4:50 pm
    If they hand you a bible scream "allahu akbar" and then trill like a motherdrater.
  17. Profile photo of ScottSerious
    ScottSerious Male 18-29
    5316 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 4:55 pm
    go to hell
  18. Profile photo of jteachey1
    jteachey1 Male 18-29
    122 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 5:19 pm
    THE CHRISTIANS ARE WAGING WAR ON HALLOWEEN!!! THE REST OF US ARE BEING PERSECUTED!! oh wait... that makes no sense...
  19. Profile photo of Lolboy
    Lolboy Male 70 & Over
    798 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 5:28 pm
    Umm, isn`t Halloween technically a pagan-adapted, but Christian holiday?
  20. Profile photo of mervviscious
    mervviscious Male 40-49
    1793 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 5:32 pm
    there isn`t any "Good News" that has to do with religion, unless they are disbanding....
  21. Profile photo of aikiman
    aikiman Male 40-49
    255 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 5:32 pm
    They`ll be trying to take over Easter and Xmas next..
  22. Profile photo of Blatto
    Blatto Male 18-29
    358 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 5:37 pm
    Do not want.
  23. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7469 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 5:44 pm
    Lolboy, can you think of a christian holiday that wasnt adapted from a pagan ritual?
  24. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36665 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    That`s the problem with the fanatice. EVERYTHING has to be about Jesus!
    Let`s to go WalMart for Jesus.
    Brush your teeth for Jesus.
    Take dump for Jesus.
  25. Profile photo of carmium
    carmium Female 50-59
    6381 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 6:18 pm
    Utterly pathetic way to live your life, is all I can say.
  26. Profile photo of yoda141
    yoda141 Male 18-29
    266 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 6:23 pm
    I wish i had the spine to tell her, if asked "there is no god" but i`d probably even volunteer to help her so i could get some
  27. Profile photo of craphole
    craphole Male 18-29
    52 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 6:28 pm
    why not call it holyween? jesus ween is so stupid...
  28. Profile photo of nubblins
    nubblins Female 18-29
    1743 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 7:07 pm
    yeah i thought of jesus wiener too..
    bad name...
  29. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36665 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    Another religious holiday is Super Bowl Sunday.
    Dykes call it "Lesbian High Holy Day".
  30. Profile photo of Thetas
    Thetas Male 18-29
    1540 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 7:30 pm
    Hahaha JesusWeen. Should have just called it Jesus Wang. Probably would have sparked more interest.
    Regardless, if I were a kid and I got a bible for trick or treat I would have been pissed. Probably burned the book on their porch the next morning.
  31. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11741 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 7:52 pm
    I didn`t have to see this to know it was a 1/4. Some people seriously need to get their heads out of their asses.
  32. Profile photo of BenTheBug
    BenTheBug Male 18-29
    1195 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 7:54 pm
    You`re next, Arbor Day!
  33. Profile photo of FeelTheRide
    FeelTheRide Female 18-29
    515 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 8:10 pm
    Those people will definitely get egged and TP-ed by every kid in the neighborhood...
  34. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11741 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 8:24 pm
    These JesusWeeners can have their fun, the rest of us will enjoy a normal life and holiday.
  35. Profile photo of Ripper398
    Ripper398 Male 18-29
    1310 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 8:36 pm
    Great, what`s next... bible scriptures at the bottom of glasses for St Patrick`s day?
  36. Profile photo of Kalon
    Kalon Male 13-17
    369 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 8:57 pm
    That is easily one of the most morronic religious holidays I`ve ever heard of.
  37. Profile photo of Draculya
    Draculya Male 40-49
    14621 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 9:05 pm
    Excellent, I`ll be giving out little Jesus weens at the end of the month.

    I should write to her and get her to attend our Satanmas celebrations too.
  38. Profile photo of HalfPintRoo
    HalfPintRoo Female 18-29
    2765 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 9:19 pm
    They are taking the wrong approach. Way to get kids to hate churches even more. Let`s take the fun out of Halloween.
  39. Profile photo of slut_etta
    slut_etta Female 50-59
    3849 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 9:27 pm
    if somebody gave me a bible for halloween when i was a kid they would have earned themselves a return trip from me and my little hoodlum friends.
  40. Profile photo of xCYBERDYNEx
    xCYBERDYNEx Male 18-29
    4903 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 9:28 pm

  41. Profile photo of jendrian
    jendrian Male 18-29
    2516 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 10:02 pm
    how about we make halloween "bible-burning-ween"?
  42. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 10:12 pm
    well.. would it be funny to dress as jesus?
  43. Profile photo of Heureux
    Heureux Male 40-49
    1054 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 11:33 pm
    "how about we make halloween "bible-burning-ween"?"

    When ever someone suggests burning books, they`re up to no good.
  44. Profile photo of FreedomFrie
    FreedomFrie Male 30-39
    243 posts
    October 7, 2011 at 11:44 pm
    The word "Ween" inserted anywhere just doesn`t work.
  45. Profile photo of Fleaman1797
    Fleaman1797 Male 18-29
    718 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 12:02 am
    This makes me ALL KINDS of mad. i think the Christians are just trolling us now
  46. Profile photo of AEimiller
    AEimiller Male 18-29
    27 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 12:20 am
    Regardless if you`re christian or not, they mean well. Nothing to get all angry about here. I wouldn`t say that christians attempt to persuade people to their beliefs any more than atheists do. And even if you believe christianity is 100% wrong, you have to admit the Church has good morals and is really a benefit to any community.
  47. Profile photo of oogah_boogah
    oogah_boogah Male 30-39
    65 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 12:37 am
    All I heard was Charlie Brown`s teacher going off about . . . something . . . ah, whatever.
  48. Profile photo of Fleaman1797
    Fleaman1797 Male 18-29
    718 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 1:33 am
    They dont mean (WELL) they mean to make EVERYONE follow their own bullpoo beliefs. and that isnt right.
  49. Profile photo of Isobel
    Isobel Female 18-29
    245 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 1:35 am
    "And even if you believe christianity is 100% wrong, you have to admit the Church has good morals and is really a benefit to any community."
    No, I don`t.
    That`s complete BS.
  50. Profile photo of Draculya
    Draculya Male 40-49
    14621 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 2:03 am
    "And even if you believe christianity is 100% wrong, you have to admit the Church has good morals and is really a benefit to any community."

    Search for the Stephen Fry debate "The Catholic Church is a force for good in the world"

    The church is run by humans, not gods. They are just as apt to lie, manipulate, steal and abuse as anyone, but do so under a pretence of godliness.

  51. Profile photo of lostinkorea
    lostinkorea Female 30-39
    3727 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 3:07 am
    Blah, blah, blah....
  52. Profile photo of terracottus
    terracottus Male 30-39
    280 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 3:16 am
    So a christian Holiday (all saints day), adopted by Irish pagan myths (Jack`O`Lantern) is being adopted by american christians...
  53. Profile photo of regediT
    regediT Male 18-29
    716 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 4:42 am

  54. Profile photo of GhettoNinja
    GhettoNinja Male 30-39
    886 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 4:54 am
    This is ridiculous, but the Christians have been trying to Chritianize the harvest time celebrations and traditions for centuries.

    I guess they are at least consistent in their lack of tolerance for other belief structures.

    Poo on you Jesusween.
  55. Profile photo of Rhasputin
    Rhasputin Female 18-29
    112 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 5:59 am
    I came up with a more clever, less gay name than they took probably a year to come up with, in only about 10 seconds.

    Holyween. Was that so hard?

    JesusWeen. . . They`re just asking for it.
  56. Profile photo of Samsquanch
    Samsquanch Male 30-39
    792 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 6:07 am
    The Jack o`Lantern is actually a Christian myth, there terracottus. Jack was a Christian who tricked the devil into not taking his soul, but because he wasn`t good enough for heaven, and barred from hell, he was cursed to walk the earth for eternity.
    And Hallowe`en comes from "All Hollow`s Eve" (or the eve of All Saint`s Day).
    The concept of getting dressed up and handing out candies was invented by the candy corporations as a way to sell more candy. Simple as that.
    It`s the same as Valentine`s Day, in which the greeting card and flower companies, took the Roman custom of the feast of Eros, and turned it into profit. And, Christmas, where the corporations took the symbol of gift-giving from Yule, and turned it into a billion-dollar a year profit day.
  57. Profile photo of defiythelie
    defiythelie Male 18-29
    230 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 9:09 am
    @Samsquanch

    Actually getting dressed up in scary costumes comes from pagan tradition. It was an attempt to scare away lost souls and evil spirits that were thought to roam free on All Hollow`s Eve.

    The Halloween we know today came from the Irish when they migrated here to America.
  58. Profile photo of tommy2X4
    tommy2X4 Male 50-59
    3447 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 10:07 am
    Jesus was just a crazy Jewish Rabbi.
  59. Profile photo of terracottus
    terracottus Male 30-39
    280 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 10:36 am
    @Samsquanch
    On the other hand, the people accepted those `holidays` from the corporations.
    So who is to blame?
  60. Profile photo of xCYBERDYNEx
    xCYBERDYNEx Male 18-29
    4903 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm
    "The concept of getting dressed up and handing out candies was invented by the candy corporations as a way to sell more candy. Simple as that."

    That is completely incorrect, do some research fool.
  61. Profile photo of Dad4Life
    Dad4Life Male 50-59
    2081 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 1:12 pm
    At least they aren`t shoving homemade bombs in their underwear and getting on airplanes.
  62. Profile photo of DethRose
    DethRose Female 18-29
    280 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 1:32 pm
    Hell no.
  63. Profile photo of chickiesue86
    chickiesue86 Male 70 & Over
    273 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 4:54 pm
    why not just hang out a sign saying "please vandalize"?
  64. Profile photo of jarjarburns
    jarjarburns Male 18-29
    17 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 5:23 pm
    How do you threaten somebody with hell in a friendly way?
  65. Profile photo of markust123
    markust123 Male 40-49
    3889 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 7:33 pm
    Fox News created the "War on Christmas" to mess with their viewers. Wonder if they will report on the War on Halloween?
  66. Profile photo of LuckyDave
    LuckyDave Male 18-29
    675 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 9:17 pm
    Halloween is a Pagan holiday, Jesus doesn`t need to be in everything. He already has Christmas and Easter - both used to be Pagan - there`s no need to make a bigger bulls-eye for the religious folk by saying "Hey, we know this holiday is about fall and scaring off the evil spirits, but why don`t we stop scaring the spirits and invite Christ?"

    Leave the holidays alone, Halloween is a drop dead sexy night, don`t ruin my one night of acceptable naughtiness.
  67. Profile photo of Discobiscuit
    Discobiscuit Male 18-29
    542 posts
    October 8, 2011 at 9:30 pm
    Wait. Really?
  68. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    October 9, 2011 at 6:20 am
    So a christian Holiday (all saints day), adopted by Irish pagan myths (Jack`O`Lantern) is being adopted by american christians...

    Wrong way around.

    All Saints Day was the first attempt by Christians to usurp and corrupt an already existing religious/spiritual day.

    Unusually, it didn`t *completely* succeed. Most Christian takeovers were completely successful (Christmas, Easter, Valentine`s Day, etc, etc). It was very successful (as you`ve shown by believing that it was a Christian day to begin with), but it hasn`t fooled everyone.
  69. Profile photo of Samsquanch
    Samsquanch Male 30-39
    792 posts
    October 9, 2011 at 7:08 am
    @defiiythelie
    Actually, there`s no definitive proof that the druids dressed up on the Feast of Samhain (not Hallows Eve...that`s the Christian name for the day), and that "tradition" (if it existed) had died out for hundreds of years before Cadbury and Nestle`s got the idea of dressing kids up to sell their candy to.
    It`s the same with Easter...no, the Christians did *not* steal that day from the pagans. The Christian Feast of the Resurrection coincides with the Jewish Passover, in that it takes place on the first Sabbath following the first new moon after the Vernal Equinox. The Jews didn`t intend for this to be then, they don`t follow the Equinoxes, it`s just their calendars are based off the lunar calendar.
    As it happens, the pagan Feast of Oestra took place on the first full moon of the Vernal Equinox as a time for rebirth.
    Again, the chocolate corporations took this tradition, and the fact that many families were together, and decided to cash in.
  70. Profile photo of Samsquanch
    Samsquanch Male 30-39
    792 posts
    October 9, 2011 at 7:15 am
    @LuckyDave...Hallowe`en is *not* a pagan holiday. You`re thinking Samhain, which was the harvest festival that fell on Nov. 1st, and marked the end of the year.
    The name "Hallowe`en" derives from "All Hallow`s Eve", and Nov 1 being "All Hallow Day" or "All Saint`s Day".
  71. Profile photo of MrHyde
    MrHyde Male 18-29
    494 posts
    October 9, 2011 at 8:23 am
    Why celebrate Halloween when you can attempt to indoctrinate children into believing your religion is right and everyone else is wrong?
  72. Profile photo of VAJENGA
    VAJENGA Male 30-39
    532 posts
    October 9, 2011 at 12:50 pm
    I`m giving out Bibles with razor blades in them.
  73. Profile photo of pmarren
    pmarren Male 40-49
    4575 posts
    October 10, 2011 at 8:50 am
    I would SO cork that chick.
  74. Profile photo of Jaellot
    Jaellot Male 18-29
    95 posts
    October 11, 2011 at 2:25 pm
    Dirty trick.

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