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Date: 09/20/11 11:31 AM

41 Responses to Soldier Tells His Dad That He Is Gay, Live

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18829 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 11:33 am
    Link: Soldier Tells His Dad That He Is Gay, Live - `I called my dad to tell him the hardest thing that gay guys will ever have to say.`
  2. Profile photo of Draculya
    Draculya Male 40-49
    14620 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 11:42 am
    Scott Bacula`s gay?
  3. Profile photo of Isobel
    Isobel Female 18-29
    245 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 11:56 am
    This is so sad and absurd.
    He actually has to ask his father if he will love him even if he is gay.
    What the f*uck is wrong with this society?
    Situations like these shouldn`t be happening.
  4. Profile photo of MrOrange
    MrOrange Male 30-39
    2402 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 12:00 pm
    Dad`s a Champ period.
    Kinda sad that this would be the hardest thing he would have to say, not that he is afraid.. not that he killed someone, not that he is lonely, but that he is gay...
  5. Profile photo of TKD_Master
    TKD_Master Male 18-29
    4794 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 12:02 pm
    Took him seven and a half minutes to say this? Will not watch.
  6. Profile photo of relay
    relay Female 60-69
    6 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 12:12 pm
    -some things are better discussed in person.
  7. Profile photo of Matwix_2004
    Matwix_2004 Male 18-29
    2551 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 12:15 pm
    Skip to about 2:00 after his little intro talk. Couldn`t really hear what the dad was saying - not that I`m a big fan of recording stuff like this and putting it up on youtube.
  8. Profile photo of NottaSpy
    NottaSpy Male 40-49
    881 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 12:18 pm
    There is hope for humanity.
  9. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17514 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 12:33 pm
    Love for your kids should never be conditional, otherwise is it still love ? The Dad took this news well and I applaud him for reassuring his son.
  10. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36647 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    When I told my mom she got real quiet, she put
    down the book she`d been reading and said
    "Don`t put that in your mouth!"
  11. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 1:07 pm
    They can be what ever they want to be... as long as they dont embarrass me!
  12. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17514 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 1:21 pm
    Fatninja: Every kid will one day do something that embarrasses you, it`s just human nature. But be satisfied with the thought that one day you will return the favor in one way or the other.
  13. Profile photo of nettech98
    nettech98 Male 50-59
    1043 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 1:28 pm
    Sorry but that wasn`t live. Caption fail.
  14. Profile photo of SlothOfDoom
    SlothOfDoom Male 30-39
    2033 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 1:36 pm
    @Gerry


    Themesong?
  15. Profile photo of MrOrange
    MrOrange Male 30-39
    2402 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 2:02 pm
    @CrakrJak
    Love is conditional, as harsh as that sounds, but that person you fall in love with.. meets certian criteria, otherwise you just keep walking..
    There are things a child could do that could be so alien to you that it would alter your love for your child. This should not be one of them.
    to me the fact that my kid was trained to kill someone by order would be the real concern.

    @fatninja, you my friend will embarrass your kid way more then s/he will you :D
    (anyone remember their puberty?)

    @gerry10f1 : dude that sounds so funny, i hope it was!
  16. Profile photo of krw888
    krw888 Male 50-59
    174 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 2:05 pm
    This is the way all parents should react.
    Love is unconditional
  17. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36647 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    Draculya "Scott Bacula`s gay?"
    I wish, but darn it, no.

  18. Profile photo of Listypoos
    Listypoos Male 40-49
    3069 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 2:32 pm
    @Krw888 "Love is unconditional "


    Parental love may come the closest to unconditional love, but love in general isn`t by any means unconditional. We all place conditions on who we love...most of us would soon stop loving our partners for instance if we found out they abused children; that`s a condition isn`t it.

    But yeah, personally I can`t imagine anything that would make me stop loving my little girl... I do know one thing for sure, it wouldn`t be something as trivial to me as her sexuality, so yeah I do kinda agree with you, I just don`t think unconditional extends to all love.
  19. Profile photo of Listypoos
    Listypoos Male 40-49
    3069 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 2:40 pm
    And i`m not quite sure how I feel about the video.... fair play to the guy for having the courage to tell his dad, but in an ideal world it wouldn`t take courage because there wouldn`t be a fear of any backlash from society for who we are. A good mate of mine came out as gay in the British Military when we served together, and I do think he was brave for being honest because at the time it meant he lost all his security clearances and was marched out of the unit and down to the guardroom under arrest for it....thankfully things have moved on from that time and it`s not a crime here now either.

    I think the moment would have been better private between the two of them...father and son. Not shared for everyone on the internet - If it was me in that situation I`d feel it would cheapen the moment to tell him over the phone whilst i was videoing it with the intention of putting it on the net.
  20. Profile photo of srximus
    srximus Male 30-39
    182 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 3:01 pm
    What a sad world we live in. This person had this "horrible" secret all his life and was afraid that his parents will not love him any more.
    WOW. No parents should react at all. There should not be these "shocks" at all. Sexuality is a private thing and any type of it shouldn`t ever be a shock for anyone. I can`t imagine what sadness I would feel if my son told me something like this. My first reaction would be that I failed as a parent...because I didn`t provide a humane environment for him so he didn`t feel guilty for his completely natural sexual preference - of being gay. WOW. I mean, this American puritanism is like dark ages compared to my country. Go Sweden, lead the way of progress. Freedom of choice for all. NO to religious primitive legacy that forms false morals.
  21. Profile photo of Klivel
    Klivel Male 18-29
    106 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 3:17 pm
    Try to understand this from his point of view... I served in the Army, alongside more than one fellow soldier whom I knew to be gay (largely because they had boyfriend pictures where others would keep girlfriends... it was something that was understood, if never spoken of) and the action he is taking, putting this personal moment out there on the net, is extremely brave.

    His goal, I`m quite sure, is to bolster the nerves of those who come to the same crossroads after he departs it. The military is an extremely masculine place to be, and society bombards young servicemen with its expectations of them, even more-so than is done in the outside world. He`s putting his own potential embarrassment aside and trying to lead by example, something that is at the very core of how a soldier should behave. He`s having a "follow me!" moment; and I
  22. Profile photo of Klivel
    Klivel Male 18-29
    106 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 3:17 pm
    I applaud him. Not sure why that got cut off.
  23. Profile photo of Thetas
    Thetas Male 18-29
    1540 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 3:58 pm
    Nope I didn`t tear up at all during that.
  24. Profile photo of gary8162
    gary8162 Male 40-49
    939 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 3:59 pm
    I like this video. It is reassuring to hear a father`s reaction like this...especially since he`s from Alabama. Perhaps I need to rethink all my other stereotypes as well.
    Oh and @ Gerry1of1...What were you getting ready to put in your mouth anyway?lol
  25. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 4:15 pm
    Not sure why that got cut off.

    IAB usually truncates posts before the 1000 character mark. It will always do so if you put in a link or quote. I think it counts every character in tags, URLs and labels when the post is made, but not in the editor.

    It`s a crap system, but it`s not going to change any time soon.
  26. Profile photo of slbtiger
    slbtiger Female 30-39
    105 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 6:21 pm
    Parents usually know.
  27. Profile photo of QueenZira
    QueenZira Female 18-29
    2228 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 7:19 pm
    Saw this earlier today, cried for two reasons- it`s so sweet...and there goes another guy we can`t have ladies!
  28. Profile photo of ElijaBlack
    ElijaBlack Male 18-29
    275 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 8:13 pm
    this vid made it to the daily show tonite
  29. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17514 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 8:43 pm
    MrOrange: I believe you are mixing up the word `Love` with the word `Trust`. A Parents love for their kid should be unconditional, trust may come and go, but the love remains.

    You might have a spouse or lover break your heart and you fall out of love, but that is a different kind of love than parental love.
  30. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 9:01 pm
    "and there goes another guy we can`t have ladies!"

    And there are more chances for the rest of us, thanks openly gay people
  31. Profile photo of LuckyDave
    LuckyDave Male 18-29
    675 posts
    September 20, 2011 at 10:55 pm
    Now that was something else. Its such a relief that men and women can be completely open about their sexual orientation and be able to defend the country that allows them to follow their hearts. After all, in many other countries these men and women would be executed just for admitting they are gay; and they are allowed to live here free of those fears. Now as soon as they make gay marriage legal, then we can put this whole thing to bed for good.

    Call it marriage, call it civil union, call it what you want; if a civil union between two men or two women will grant the same legal rights as marriage... its a marriage. Its a word to describe a union of two lovers, who have found such security with the other that they make a vow to spend the rest of their lives together. If you don`t want to tell your children why their friend Billy has two fathers instead of a father and a mother, that`s your problem. "All men are created equal" means just that.
  32. Profile photo of MrOrange
    MrOrange Male 30-39
    2402 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 2:45 am
    @CrakrJak no i`m not mixing love and trust:
    i`m going to give an extreme example here...
    if a child of mine turns out to be a pedobear, or a pschycpathic killer, or a junkie i am pretty sure that out of selfprotection my love for my child would stop, i would forever mourn the child it was, but i doubt i could love the person it is.
    it`s an extreme example, but i use it to make the point that love is conditional. what those conditions are depends on the person who sets/has them. I sure as hell don`t wish that on anyone.
  33. Profile photo of beternal
    beternal Male 18-29
    2589 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 3:11 am
    No more grandchildren for mUm!!! mwuahahaha!!!

    His dad took it well, my dad wouldn`t if I was... my best friend is gay and I know dad freaks out practically every time I see him.

    I like gay guys... they`re all so fit that removing them grom the genepool helps all of us not-so-fit get the girls :) - Like the british woodland... we`ve cut down all the (for lack of a better word) straight trees, that it`s all the (again, bad choice of words) bent/ crooked ones that remain! - The more hot, gay guys there are, the better!!! :-D
  34. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36647 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 7:02 am

    @ MrOrange - you have violated the conditions of IAB.
    I do not love you now.
  35. Profile photo of MrOrange
    MrOrange Male 30-39
    2402 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 8:10 am
    @Gerry1of1
    are you hitting on me? then i suggest you use a baseballbat.

    This kind of media is not the best way to discuss matters such as these but i`m sure if you let your thought dwell on it, you could see the point i`m making. Self preservation is a strange and powerfull force. i do not doubt that many parents would sacrifice their lives to save their children, put them in room 101 and watch what happens...
    http://youtu.be/M3U83QLoATU

  36. Profile photo of Mister_C
    Mister_C Male 18-29
    663 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 8:19 am
    As a gay guy myself, I never quite understood a reason to announce my sexuality to any of my friends or family, it`s my private life... why would they want to know my sex life? I don`t deny it if asked, but I just don`t see the point in announcing it.
  37. Profile photo of robosnitz
    robosnitz Male 40-49
    2737 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 8:22 am
    The military is gonna be one big sausage fest now.
  38. Profile photo of Brassbull
    Brassbull Male 30-39
    1610 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 8:27 am
    @robosnitz

    what do you mean `now`?
  39. Profile photo of Khronnus
    Khronnus Male 18-29
    621 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 3:54 am
    Lmao, my coming out to my dad consisted of this:

    "Sean, there was gay porn on the upstairs computer. Is it yours? Because if not it`s your little brother, and he`s 11. Which is weird."

    "Yes."

    "Oh."

    Then my mom cried for like a week.
  40. Profile photo of mcboozerilla
    mcboozerilla Male 30-39
    646 posts
    September 23, 2011 at 2:25 am
    He said he didn`t want to tell his dad on the phone, but it was ok to make a video and post it on the internet.
  41. Profile photo of miasmaat
    miasmaat Female 18-29
    298 posts
    September 25, 2011 at 9:52 pm
    i love this guy. good on him! this moved me.

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