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Date: 09/21/11 12:01 PM

82 Responses to Gay Teen Commits Suicide, More Gay Bullying

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18499 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:04 pm
    Link: Gay Teen Commits Suicide, More Gay Bullying - Even sadder is that he recorded one of those It Gets Better videos. Even sadder it it happened a day after DADT ended.
  2. Profile photo of elderban
    elderban Male 30-39
    390 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:11 pm
    Video not available.
  3. Profile photo of ShamaziaV2
    ShamaziaV2 Male 13-17
    236 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:17 pm
    No one should get bullied for their lifestyle, but I think someone has to already be dysfunctional in some way to let bullying lead them to suicide. Otherwise they really should just grow a pair. no offence.
  4. Profile photo of HalfPintRoo
    HalfPintRoo Female 18-29
    2758 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:17 pm
    So sad. People should be shot for being such awful human beings.
  5. Profile photo of Rick_S
    Rick_S Male 40-49
    3275 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:21 pm
    This is the High School my kids will be going to. It`s all over town, and it`s not too small a town. Mixed in with this is a sad story about a family of three eating at a local hamburger place when an older person drove their car through the wall, killing the parents and injuring the 13 year old boy.

    So much sadness around here lately.
  6. Profile photo of Klamz
    Klamz Male 18-29
    689 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:25 pm
    Stop labeling people and it would go away. This isn`t about a teen committing suicide it`s about a GAY teen committing suicide. Every step of his life people have have pointed him out because he`s GAY! Even after his death. This is why he killed himself because you can`t let him just be another face in the crowd.

    I blame Fancy for this suicide, why don`t you keep pointing fingers at gay people and make it happen all the more ***hole!
  7. Profile photo of iceblack
    iceblack Male 18-29
    551 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:27 pm
    @ShamaziaV2

    It`s not just about "Having balls" and dealing with
    it, it`s about a constant psychological dehumanization
    of the bullied, it gets to a point where you don`t
    even feel like a person who deserves anything in life

    Sounds sick, well it is... And it needs a lot of
    bullying from stupid kids who don`t know or don`t
    care how that affects the other person
  8. Profile photo of LillianDulci
    LillianDulci Female 18-29
    2674 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:28 pm
    It`s really sad to hear about these things still happening :( I think a lot of people are bullied and some people just have a harder time overcoming it. What more could his parents have done? It seems like they were mostly aware of what was going on and were trying different things to resolve it :/ I was bullied too and my mom tried the whole contacting the school thing and she`d offer home schooling or switching schools if it got too bad and there were times when I almost took up that offer but I stuck through it anyway. I just wonder what more could have been done to prevent the suicide.

    Schools are quick to suspend kids for the tiniest things, but in my schools it seemed like they never did anything to people who were clearly bullying others. In my case, they gave me the option of joining a different class so I wouldn`t be around those people, but it took over 2 years for only that to happen. And nothing was done about it in high schoo
  9. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36173 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    OMG... it had to have a Lady Gaga tie-in to it.


    Okay, moving on. I`d rather see an interview with the bulliers. They can`t change it and I`m not saying charge them with a crime, but absolutely rub their nose it. Shove it in their face that their behavior led someone to that point. Make them face their actions. Maybe they won`t care, maybe they will and change it.
  10. Profile photo of QualityJay
    QualityJay Male 18-29
    303 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:33 pm
    Everyone gets bullied at some point in their lives. No reason to kill yourself.
  11. Profile photo of Zaokii
    Zaokii Female 18-29
    78 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:34 pm
    Some kids at my lunch table knew this kid and had "RIP Jamey" written on their hands and arms. Even though this didn`t happen in my school, the kids at my school that knew him are with the Challenge Club and they`re making posters with the NO H8 sign on them to hang up around the school. Unfortunately, this happens a lot, and bullying isn`t just going to miraculously stop because someone died.
  12. Profile photo of ShamaziaV2
    ShamaziaV2 Male 13-17
    236 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:37 pm
    @iceblack being bullied is a problem most kids have to deal with. Just like any other problem, you have to face it at some point or it won`t change. Normal minded people don`t kill themselves over every little thing. I think this kid was either already wrong in the head, or way too overly sensitive..
  13. Profile photo of SumRandom1
    SumRandom1 Male 18-29
    794 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:42 pm
    um well i dont know, this is an awful loss for a family and a tragic story, but i do agree with other comments on that there had to be other reasons not just the bullying that led him to do that, i was bullied in all 5 different elementary schools i went to since i was always the new kid, yeah it was not nice and i would cry sometimes but you just deal with it and then grow to be 6`4 and beat the poo out of those people, or just get a group of friends who are misfits and eventually they end up being millionaires and the bullies just plumbers, not that theres anything wrong with that
  14. Profile photo of Khronnus
    Khronnus Male 18-29
    621 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:47 pm
    This just simply isn`t fair.
  15. Profile photo of Subushie
    Subushie Male 18-29
    1646 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:54 pm
    So sad... Poor kid.

    Yes, Bulling happens everywhere and almost everyone.
    But, not everyone is equipped to handle stuff like that. Some people have tremendous love in their hearts; when that love is overwhelmed by hate, self-destruction occurs.
    I too battled thoughts of suicide as a teen, but luckily survived my attempt.
    Stuff gets rough through life, just because one of you suffered surmountable incidents as a child, doesn`t mean you understand the amount of pain another person is enduring.

    Do not judge.
  16. Profile photo of Rick_S
    Rick_S Male 40-49
    3275 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 12:56 pm
    There was more to it. Stuff that might not have been covered in the video were the deaths of his great grandmother and friend. He posted online that he wanted to see them before he killed himself. If there was more going on or not, the bullying because he was (perceived as) gay was what really pushed him too far.
  17. Profile photo of sethmccary
    sethmccary Male 18-29
    208 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 1:01 pm
    I never got bullied because I never allowed it. He should have stood up for himself.
  18. Profile photo of Swaywithme
    Swaywithme Female 18-29
    3696 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 1:02 pm
    `Everyone gets bullied at some point in their lives`

    You`re 100% correct. But not everybody gets bullied EVERY single day of their lives. I was blessed- I`m sure I was primo material to get bullied but I had an older brother- knew all the seniors when I got to high school and naturally just get along with people so I can`t even imagine what it`s like dreading going to school every day because someone is going to hurt you or call you a f#g and tell you that you`re going to burn in hell.

    I feel for this little boy, and I don`t understand the hate in people`s hearts.
  19. Profile photo of MrOrange
    MrOrange Male 30-39
    2398 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 1:08 pm
    @Gerry1of1

    let me start by rubbing your face in it.
    they are kids. they behave as their peers do, as they see around them, they are a reflection of a society that does not give a poo about human live.
    america was built by people who got ejected from europe who killed of the natives, enslaved people. you have presidents who go to war for dubious reasons, your economy is suported by massive amounts of money from a country with a dubious record when it comes to human rights, you wear and idolise clothing/gadgets made by people under demeaning cicumstances. you eat living things that feel pain and stress.. i`m sorry man, i think this _sucks_ but it iant there fault. they just follow the leader...
    So you tell those kids how it feels to be degraded and humilated, what it does to you, you show them your human side, and hopefully they wont do it again.. as for your understandable anger.. you shove societies face in that.

  20. Profile photo of MrOrange
    MrOrange Male 30-39
    2398 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 1:12 pm
    BTW i`m not bashing america, my country has the same black pages, we do better when it comes to gay rights maybe, but we earned our wealth by selling slaves to america, and exploiting colonies..
    i`m just trying to say that events like these are a reflection of the society were they happen...
  21. Profile photo of collegebound
    collegebound Male 18-29
    3745 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 1:12 pm
    the fact of the matter is that animosity is an ugly thing...

    i would agree with Gerrys point of rubbing it in the bullies faces that they potentially killed someone but kids today are drating stupid...it would probably only encourage them to do it again...
  22. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25405 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 1:35 pm
    well... thats a time when you show how strong you really are. THe bullys dont care if your weak. Use the bollocks god gave you!
  23. Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 1:47 pm
    Klamz-"Stop labeling people and it would go away."

    You can not change, nor legislate, human nature. Everyone labels other: as `Us`, as `Them`, as `Usefull`, as `Useless` and in thousands of other ways.

    You cannot change that.

    Klamz-"Every step of his life people have have pointed him out because he`s GAY!"

    And if he had not been GAY (your emphasis), he would have been bullied because of his weight, his hair, his appearence, his hobbies...

    The fact is that people (including kids) are not nice people. There will always be bullies. Everyone, at some time, has been bullied.

    You either live with it, overcome it, or let it overcome you. Or you don`t live with it. The choice is yours.

    Khronnus-"This just simply isn`t fair."

    Life is not/has never been/will never be fair. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

    Would this had been as big a news story if he hadn`t be gay &
  24. Profile photo of Zeegrr60
    Zeegrr60 Male 40-49
    2105 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 2:23 pm
    Kill Bullies.
  25. Profile photo of heavypred
    heavypred Male 30-39
    249 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 2:25 pm
    America f*k yeah!
  26. Profile photo of cyborg
    cyborg Male 13-17
    2790 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 3:03 pm
    pssh, what a queer...
  27. Profile photo of cyborg
    cyborg Male 13-17
    2790 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 3:03 pm
    it`s a joke. settle down.
  28. Profile photo of herouk87
    herouk87 Male 18-29
    189 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 3:50 pm
    Got to agree with MeGrendel

    Its human nature to discriminate against difference whether its race, gender, appearance.

    Sounds horrible but its just life. Either try and deal with it (which tbf the video said he was doing) or let it own you.

    Shame that the kid couldn`t wait it out for a few more years till he left school
  29. Profile photo of defiythelie
    defiythelie Male 18-29
    230 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 4:53 pm
    I have no sympathy for those that kill themselves. If he took the bullying to heart and that was the really the reason he did it then he was a weak individual obviously.
  30. Profile photo of defiythelie
    defiythelie Male 18-29
    230 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 4:55 pm
    @herouk87

    No, its human nature to outcast the weak. Hell its the nature of most all mammals.
  31. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36173 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    @MrOrange - and I`m shoving your face back in it...
    Yes, they are kids. That`s why I wouldn`t charge them with a crime like some places do. But it is an oportune time to make them face up to the consequence of actions.
    Real life lesson in death.
  32. Profile photo of madest
    madest Male 40-49
    7379 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 6:13 pm
    Well Gerry, weren`t you arguing for bullying a few days ago? Oh yeah you called it freedom of speech... Yeah. Freedom.

    I blame this on computers. Back in my day skipping school was a breeze. I once skipped an entire week and almost got away with it. You could skip class and hide in the school with your buddies and smoke really bad homegrown behind the auditorium. Today`s kids never leave school until they graduate. Bullies follow them home and taunt them on Facebook. Escaping a situation is an important human defense and should be nurtured. Right Gerry?
  33. Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 6:17 pm
    defiythelie-"No, its human nature to outcast the weak. Hell its the nature of most all mammals."

    That`s not entirely true.

    In human nature, it`s usual to outcast based on any perceived difference.

    In nature, it`s the same way. A member of a pack may be outcast as it is weak. Or it may be outcast because its coat is a different color and perceived to make the pack more noticible. Examples are; yellow crocodiles, cheetahs with stripes, white lions, albino baboons and leopards without spots. None of these are necessarily weak, but they are `different` and are often outcast.
  34. Profile photo of collegebound
    collegebound Male 18-29
    3745 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 6:20 pm
    Madest: there are special situations with ANY situation (did that make sense?)

    "haha you are a slow runner" -----> builds character
    "haha you are a chode choker" -----> takes lives...

    P.S.: Lol i made up an insult...chode choker...thats awesome...
  35. Profile photo of fuelandfire
    fuelandfire Female 18-29
    13 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 6:25 pm
    I`m still bored. Why was this posted? Fail.
  36. Profile photo of Ruffiana
    Ruffiana Male 30-39
    506 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 6:33 pm
    Bullying affects ALL kids, not just the gay ones or ones that bullying kids just think are gay..

    Biggest problem I have with this whole program is its almost single-minded focus on the plight gay. It`s a larger problem and should be dealt with on that level.
  37. Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 7:01 pm
    collegebound-"
    "haha you are a slow runner" -----> builds character
    "haha you are a chode choker" -----> takes lives... "

    Actually, neither of those `takes lives`.

    There is not a single insult that can be uttered by any idiot that can force an individual to kill himself.

    That decision is the result of that individuals failure to cope.

    Bullies should be held accountable..for being not nice individuals. You can not hold them accountable for a persons inability to cope.

    Life`s hard. People are mean. Deal with it, or not.

    (Again, would this have made news had this kid killed himself because they made of his hair? What makes him being homosexual `special`?)
  38. Profile photo of madest
    madest Male 40-49
    7379 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 7:25 pm
    What happens to kids that get teased about their hair.
  39. Profile photo of QueenZira
    QueenZira Female 18-29
    2228 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 7:34 pm
    Grendel, fascinating handle. Are you fully aware of your handle`s literary reputation? Ironic no?

    Humans have a lot of evolutionary garbage attached to us unfortunately, like the isolating reaction. But that is not the whole of human character, we also show great compassion to one another, it`s one of our most adaptable & defining qualities.

    This poor kid did not experience that, tragically, Goddess take him. His case is not "special"(I can hear your sneer from here). Someone dehumanized him simply because of his very being, to so great an extent that he saw no other way out. Morally sensitive people don`t need to have this spelled out for them.
  40. Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 8:05 pm
    QueenZira-" Are you fully aware of your handle`s literary reputation?"

    Gee, I`ve only had that handle for over over a Decade, and I chose it specifically due to the fact that Beowulf is one of my favorite literary works, which I`ve read in the original Old English, plus in its various contemporary forms, and even the John Gardner book from the view point of Grendel. And when I can`t used `Grendel` as a handle (often since the release of that god-awful movie), I use `Grim Spirit`, from the line `Thus these warriors lived in joy, blessed, until one began to do evil deeds, a hellish enemy. The grim spirit was called Grendel, known as a rover of the borders, one who held the moors, fen and fastness.`

    So yeah, I know the history of it.
  41. Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 8:12 pm
    QueenZira-"Humans have a lot of evolutionary garbage attached to us unfortunately."

    `Human Nature` is not `evolutionary garbage`. We`re not more `enlightened` now, we`re not more emotionally advanced. We are what we are, and what we always have been.

    QueenZira-"we also show great compassion "

    Nor did I deny that. I admire when it`s demonstrated and attempt to achieve that in my own life. But it does not blind me to the fact that there are cruel, mean & nasty people in the world.

    The fact that YOU think we should have `evolved past it` just demonstrates your own naitivity.
  42. Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 8:19 pm
    QueenZira-"(I can hear your sneer from here)."

    What sneer? I have no problem with this kids sexual orientation. I was just pointing out that had he not been a member of a `protected` class` there would be no news story.

    Just as when a rich white girl dissappears, it`s major news. But when a poor, black girl does, it`s not so much. Fair? No.

    QueenZira-"Someone dehumanized him simply because of his very being",

    No one `dehumanized` him. He was taunted. He was made fun of. He was called names. He went through what 98% of children go through at some time in their life.

    QueenZira-"to so great an extent that he saw no other way out"

    He couldn`t handle it. It`s a shame. I feel sorry for him and his family. But the fact that he saw no other way out demonstrates his own inabilities. No one forced him into this action.

    Life sucks. It can be cruel. It`s not fair. But it can also be beautiful and full
  43. Profile photo of HalfPintRoo
    HalfPintRoo Female 18-29
    2758 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 8:26 pm
    I think kids learn best with "eye for an eye". Let them have their faces shoved in it like Gerry says. That is a bigger punishment then anything the schools, courts or parents could come up with.

    And I`ll say it again, bullying someone has nothing to do with freedom of speech.
  44. Profile photo of QueenZira
    QueenZira Female 18-29
    2228 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 8:42 pm
    Funny, I don`t remember referring to "Human Nature" as garbage. I also don`t remember anything about stasis in human development vis a vis evolution. I mentioned certain maladaptive traits that any psychologist would label pathological, ie. Sociopathy. Neither did I say "we should have evolved past" anything. The fact he was a member of a vulnerable minority *should* give people pause. The fact that gay people in particular are stigmatized in a significant and unique way, that somehow they are separated from God in such a way that their humanity is suspect, *should* matter in this case. To not realize this is to show *your* naivete. (note the spelling).
  45. Profile photo of Solvent
    Solvent Male 18-29
    2842 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 9:25 pm
    What is it with kids these days? You can`t so much as call somebody a poo poo head without them offing themselves.
  46. Profile photo of Klivel
    Klivel Male 18-29
    106 posts
    September 21, 2011 at 10:51 pm
    I got bullied. It sucked. And it continued until I stood up for myself and started responding with escalation... they target people who respond either verbally or not at all. They can bluster all they like about wanting to fight. No one likes to get hit. So, you get bullied: punch them in the friggen throat. I got bullied from fourth grade through my sophmore year of high school. Once I started responding physically, it stopped in a week. True story.

    Oh, so they`re talking poo online still? Let em. You`re a big boy, word don`t hurt you. If they step out of line in the real world, where things matter, mess them up good.
  47. Profile photo of Fleaman1797
    Fleaman1797 Male 18-29
    718 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 12:12 am
    The Joker Doesn`t Care, Apparently
  48. Profile photo of Murrtastic
    Murrtastic Female 18-29
    5 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 12:19 am
    soo... what`s going to happen to the bullies?
  49. Profile photo of xCYBERDYNEx
    xCYBERDYNEx Male 18-29
    4903 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 12:30 am
    I`m sorry but if you can`t muster up the intestinal fortitude to defend yourself then you are pathetic. Good job coward, now you`ve just messed up the lives of your parents and the people who cared about you because you couldn`t stand up for yourself.
  50. Profile photo of Draculya
    Draculya Male 40-49
    14544 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 12:31 am
    While I deplore violence, I think the lasting legacy of Harris and Klebold will be that highschool bullies will realise that there may be consequences of their actions.
  51. Profile photo of Idlerlee2
    Idlerlee2 Male 18-29
    135 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 1:07 am
    @xCYBERDYNEx - spoken like a person that has never had a rough patch to speak of his entire life.

    You have no real grasp of the situation he was in, but given the outcome Im fairly sure we can agree it was a roguh ordeal. Placing the blame on the victim in some ill intended way of measuring male bravado is truly heartless, and something you really should be above doing.

    People are different, and everyone has their breaking point,its not their fault, its just the way it is.

    On a realated note: having the bullies line up in the schoolyard and be forced to shag eachother up their bottom in a neat little gay train would be a somewhat appropriate punishment.
  52. Profile photo of Tisjokar
    Tisjokar Male 18-29
    985 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 1:29 am
    @xCYBERDYNEx

    You really have no idea.
  53. Profile photo of Enjin
    Enjin Male 30-39
    802 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 4:56 am
    I really want to see some "it get`s better" videos for all the non-gay kids that get bullied or are contemplating suicide.
  54. Profile photo of Musuko42
    Musuko42 Male 18-29
    2850 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 5:12 am
    @Enjin

    "I really want to see some "it get`s better" videos for all the non-gay kids that get bullied or are contemplating suicide."

    And just what, pray tell, is stopping you from making one yourself?
  55. Profile photo of Wadz
    Wadz Male 18-29
    103 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 5:17 am
    @Idlerlee2, Well spoken. I dont know If you have ever suffered from depression or anything of the sort. But you pretty much summed it up.

    @xCYBERDYNEx, The only way I can explain it to you is like this. Its as if your brain is going down a long dark tunnel, all you can see is the "escape" at the end. No matter how many people try and help you, you just cant focus on them, only at whats at the end of the tunnel.
  56. Profile photo of smaus
    smaus Male 30-39
    715 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 5:34 am
    I have no sympathy for anyone who commits suicide. I have no opinion on homosexuals because I`m a heterosexual. Bullying is immoral so who cares who it`s against or why.
  57. Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 6:51 am
    QueenZira-"The fact that gay people in particular are stigmatized in a significant and unique way"

    There you go again: He was special because he was gay.

    You can only be stigmatized if you let someone do it.

    He was gay. Not a big deal. Obviously he was not comfortable with that, which was his own problem. (Which made him no different than a kid who is not comfortable with their looks & is made fun of.)

    How is being called `gay` (or any of its more crude derivatives) more `significant` than being called `fat`, `four-eyes`, `crip`, `chink`, `retard` or any other insulting names?

    Gay kids are no more stigmatized than kids in wheelchairs, kids with glasses or kids with a bad case of acne.

    The only thing `special` about this case is the way the media would much rather report on a kid who killed himself because he was teased about being gay than a kid who was teased about being fat.
  58. Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10722 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 8:33 am
    @MeGrendel

    Perhaps because they`re more often to be called names/insulted/bullied than those other groups you mentioned.
  59. Profile photo of imnakdjumpme
    imnakdjumpme Male 18-29
    598 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 9:23 am
    grendel,
    except people, (it is almost exclusively from the religious), are still telling their children that gay is wrong/immoral and something to look down upon, while i havent heard anyone say that being disabled is an abomination. recently anyways.
  60. Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 9:49 am
    Cajun247-"they`re more often to be called names/insulted/bullied than those other groups you mentioned."

    Got numbers to back that up?

    EVERYone gets called names at some point in their life. If it wasn`t his sexual orientation, it would have been his weight, his hair, the fact that he was in band, etc.

    You deal with the cruelty of others, or not.

    imnakdjumpme-" still telling their children that gay is wrong/immoral"

    And parents still have the right to instruct their children on what they think is wrong/immoral. Are you trying to take away that right?

    imnakdjumpme-"havent heard anyone say that being disabled is an abomination."

    You haven`t been listening very hard then.

  • Profile photo of QueenZira
    QueenZira Female 18-29
    2228 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 10:27 am
    Knock it off with the "special" conservative dog whistle.

    Stigmatization is a sociological phenomena, a society perpetuates it. He was not comfortable in his own skin, in his own very being because being gay is still seen in retrograde parts of this country as existentially bad. No one ever says the fat kid, or the four eyed kid is going to Hell for his very being.

    You`re just an old duffer who`s cranky at the way your world has changed around you. All the sudden these previously silent victims are getting all these high flown ideas about self worth and person hood, and that aggravates you. Deal.
  • Profile photo of imnakdjumpme
    imnakdjumpme Male 18-29
    598 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 10:31 am
    you can tell your kid about your beliefs. fine. just know that a big way to fight this biggotry and hatred against gays is to have campaigns showing you are not wrong for being gay and there are people that care about you and support you. There is a difference between the people attacking gays and the people attacking someone with glasses. one is wholy condemned, while the other is justified thru religious texts and a large segment of the population. why do you care if there are campaigns to address and expose this specifically? there are also general anti-bullying campaigns that address the larger picture. im afraid your contempt for homosexuality is very apparent

  • Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 11:50 am
    imnakdjumpme-"im afraid your contempt for homosexuality is very apparent"

    That `contempt` is something YOU`RE reading into what I say, not what I`m actually saying.

    I have no problem with his, or anyones, sexual orientation (as long as it`s with a consenting, adult human or themselves).

    I do have a problem with this getting more press just because of the same sexual orientation. It`s the old `we want to be treated like everyone else, unless we can use our status to get more`.

    Example:
    Rich white girl dissappears: You get a media circus like Natalee Holloway.
    Poor non-white girl dissappears: `Meh`. (remember Consuela Valdez? Many don`t).
  • Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 12:07 pm
    QueenZira-"Stigmatization is a sociological phenomena"

    And an individual can choose whether or not to live with that stigmatization, or overcome it.

    QueenZira-"He was not comfortable in his own skin,"

    Obviously. My sympathies go out to him and his parents. He seemed like a nice kid and his parents are going through hell.

    QueenZira-"because being gay is still seen"

    Because he couldn`t put up with being teased.

    I`ve seen someone deep depression because `they couldn`t handle` the color of their hair.

    I`ve also seen a child that could not walk make the decision not put up with anybody`s insults. She put herself through college, got married, became a teacher and considers herself blessed. She was told numerous times `You can`t` or `You`re not capable` or was treated as less than human due to her condition. She chose to ignore and overcome such statements.

    You either deal with the idio
  • Profile photo of imnakdjumpme
    imnakdjumpme Male 18-29
    598 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 12:14 pm
    i am reading into it because it is easy to read, especially when you follow with thinking that they are "using thier status to get more". What more are they trying to get? less opression? more denouncing of prevalent bigotry?
    but i understand your other point. though i think its better to put attention on it than not. are you saying that we shouldnt show the natalie holloway incident or that we should show more of the similar incidents when they happen to other less promenant classes/races/etc? THere is a strong anti-gay force in our country that needs to continually be called out, as well as an anti-bullying campaign. When a black person is abused by a white person for their race, it should be acknowledged and denounced, and same with the reverse. but how many straight people are abused for their sexual orientation? You trying to dismiss the part of this tragedy that appears to have had the biggest factor in it, is negligent at best
  • Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 2:33 pm
    imnakdjumpme-"i am reading into it because it is easy to read"

    No, you`re `reading` into it because you think it helps your argument.

    In this case, I`m not attempting to belittle the kid. He couldn`t handle it, and that`s a shame.

    My problem is with the press, that latch onto a pet cause and either support it or denounce to the extent to meet their bias.

    imnakdjumpme-"we shouldnt show the natalie holloway incident or that we should show more of the similar incidents when they happen to other less promenant classes/races/etc?"

    I`m not really saying one way or another, just don`t fake concern over one and not the othet. The Holloway case was fairly local. They played up the `sweet, angelic preppie` part, but downplayed the `drunk, freaky, let`s party like there`s no tomorrow` part.

    imnakdjumpme-"anti-gay force ...that needs to continually be called out

    Agreed.

    imnakdjumpme-"as well as
  • Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 22, 2011 at 2:44 pm
    imnakdjumpme-"When a black person is abused by a white person for their race, it should be acknowledged and denounced, and same with the reverse"

    Agreed, but funny that when in one direction it`s classified as a `Hate Crime`, and in the other it`s not.

    imnakdjumpme-"how many straight people are abused for their sexual orientation"

    Quite a few. At some time, MOST peoples sexual orientation is called into question and/or made fun of.

    imnakdjumpme-"You trying to dismiss the part of this tragedy that appears to have had the biggest factor in it"

    The kid was made fun of and bullied. Happens to a lot of people based on a lot of characteristics. He was going to be bullied no matter what. The fact that he was gay just made the selection of material easier (to the small minded idiots that were doing the bullying).

    Is it your point that you`re only interesting in stopping just those who bully homosexuals?
  • Profile photo of Tekas
    Tekas Male 18-29
    147 posts
    September 23, 2011 at 5:10 am
    It is said the human kind is civilized and intelligent, but sometimes it seems some of you are no better than ants and monkeys. He "should have grown some balls"? "Should have faced the bullies"? "Life is hard"? Really? I guess the ones that say that must have skipped that stage of evolution where you get some brains.

    Not everyone gets picked on and bullied for every single day for months, or years. Not everyone can stand up and face the bullies, when they`re 4 years older and two times bigger. Especially when there`s more than one. And 4 years of age difference in middle school means a lot of physical differences! Would you be happy if this kid was your son?


    I was bullied for a while in middle school, and there was not much I could do. When two 18y/o bully a 12y/o, there is nothing you can do. Teachers didn`t care, school director didn`t care, my parents didn`t care. And yes, I was able to handle it until it stopped, but not everyon
  • Profile photo of Tekas
    Tekas Male 18-29
    147 posts
    September 23, 2011 at 5:12 am
    In high school, I was bullied again by a prick. No one would care, again there was not much I could do. There was this time when I was having HUGE problems in my home, facing problems with my gf, and they picked up on me. That day I snapped. I simply couldn`t take it anymore and decided it was the guy or me. Since any action I could do against him would most likely get me beaten, in the middle of the class (when I snapped), I`ve grabbed a chair and was prepared to beat him to death with it. I only needed one good shot so he could not get back at me. Someone grabbed me, and I was never bullied again, but my grades were never the same either.


    Now tell me: If I were able to succeed and killed the guy, or at least beat him hard enough to put him in the hospital... Would you say "he should have stood up for himself" or "everyone gets beaten at least once in their life", or even "it`s life"? Do you think I would be left unpunished? That`s what I th
  • Profile photo of akabane
    akabane Male 18-29
    1093 posts
    September 23, 2011 at 7:22 am
    People just cant handle being bullied. I was bullied do terribly after 9/11 for being palestinian and muslim, and what i did was embrace my ethnicity and religion to counter whatever A**holes say. Suicide is just the wimps way out.
  • Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 23, 2011 at 9:14 am
    Tekas-"It is said the human kind is civilized and intelligent"

    I don`t know what `It` said that, but it has no resemblance of reality.

    It is also said that Elvis is alive and that Wrestling is real. Doen`t make it so.

    Tekas-"must have skipped that stage of evolution where you get some brains."

    So, realizing that the reality is that there are cruel people out there equates to not having brains? I wonder what your basis for comparison is?

    Tekas-"Not everyone gets picked on and bullied for every single day for months, or years"

    But yet, there are many that do. And many also manage to endure it without taking their life.

    Tekas-"I was bullied for a while in middle school"

    So was I. Guess what, we both survived it.
  • Profile photo of inaria
    inaria Female 18-29
    1515 posts
    September 23, 2011 at 9:29 am
    This is really sad. He was probably trying to handle it well, and putting on a happy face for his parents and friends but it probably got to a point where he just broke from keeping it all contained. I find it disrespectful akabane to say suicide is the whimp`s way out. People don`t commit suicide on a whim or because they`re unhappy for a day. People feel things differently, and obviously you`ve never gone through the isolation and depression this boy felt.
  • Profile photo of noxert323
    noxert323 Male 18-29
    226 posts
    September 23, 2011 at 1:16 pm
    inaria, we all have our problems. we all suffer.
    Point being we`re supposed to conquer these problems wielding a flaming sword and riding a T-Rex. at the end of it all we do die.

    Leaving early because it`s too hard is definitely the easy way out.
  • Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10722 posts
    September 24, 2011 at 10:03 am
    Quite a few. At some time, MOST peoples sexual orientation is called into question and/or made fun of.

    Got stats for that?

    My problem is with the press, that latch onto a pet cause and either support it or denounce to the extent to meet their bias.

    What do you propose the media should simply ignore it? Doesn`t matter if they got 24hrs a day, time`s limited.
  • Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 24, 2011 at 2:25 pm
    Cajun247-"Got stats for that? "

    Ever been to a public school? The easiest insult is `Fag`, `c*cksucker`, etc..whether it is true or not.

    Cajun247-"What do you propose the media should simply ignore it?"

    I have not said that. I just pointed out that this got the press it did based only on the fact that he was gay. It`s a pet bias of the news media.

    Remember all the reports of the burnings of black churches in the south? It made big news. Unfortunately they failed to report that there was no statistical difference in the number of black church fires as white church fires.

    I`d just prefer my news without bias.
  • Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10722 posts
    September 24, 2011 at 3:23 pm
    Ever been to a public school? The easiest insult is `Fag`, `c*cksucker`, etc..whether it is true or not.

    Yes, but anecdotal evidence is anecdotal is anecdotal evidence, and (as you`ve pointed out) is not a very reliable source.

    But, alas some statistics to grind our teeth on:

    According to the APA:
    70% of middle and high school students experience bullying
    5-15% are victims of CHRONIC bullying

    National Adolescent Health Information 2006:
    Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15 to 24-year-olds, accounting for over 12% of deaths in this age group

    If narrowed it down to LGBT

    86.2% experienced harrasment at school. (Huge disproportion) GLSEN 2009

    More than 1/3 of LGB youth report having made a suicide attempt (D’Augelli AR - Clinical Child Psychiatry and Psychology 2002)
  • Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10722 posts
    September 24, 2011 at 3:26 pm
    continued:

    Sexual minority youth, or teens that identify themselves as gay, lesbian or bisexual, are bullied two to three times more than heterosexuals. (Nationwide Children`s Hospital, Columbus, OH 2010)

    Back to general statistics:

    For every completed suicide by a young person, it is estimated that 100 to 200 attempts are made (Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Survey 2003)
  • Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10722 posts
    September 24, 2011 at 3:31 pm
    Ultimately this should show how LGBT youth disproportionally affected than the general population considering they only make around less than 3% of it.
  • Profile photo of Grendel
    Grendel Male 40-49
    5864 posts
    September 24, 2011 at 4:42 pm
    Aaaaannd kids in band get bullied more than kids on the football team.

    Aaaaannd kids in wheelchairs get bullied more than kids not in wheelchairs.

    Aaaaand guys in home-ec get bullied more than girls in home-ec.

    Aaaaannd the nerdy little kid that started the knitting club got bullied more than the quarterback.

    And of the MAJORITY of people that were bullied, insulted or beat up, a vast minority of them couldn`t handle it.

    BUT, for some reason, if you`re of the `protective victim` class, you`re more likely to get on the news.

    Example of news bias:
    Man holds girl hostage as sex slave. Media: HOW AWEFULL!!!

    Woman holds man hostage as sex slave. Media: GOOD FOR HER!
  • Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10722 posts
    September 24, 2011 at 5:27 pm
    First off, you miss the point of my comments completely

    Secondly:
    Example of news bias:
    Man holds girl hostage as sex slave. Media: HOW AWEFULL!!!

    Woman holds man hostage as sex slave. Media: GOOD FOR HER!

    Very bad example as it is a blatant (and in my opinion the most fu<ktardedly outlandish I`ve ever read on this forum) exaggeration.
  • Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10722 posts
    September 24, 2011 at 5:31 pm
    Lastly because they are disproportionately affected they`re more likely to gain attention.
    Hence the co-incidence of church burnings and segregation at the time.
  • Profile photo of mithraela
    mithraela Female 18-29
    535 posts
    September 25, 2011 at 4:53 pm
    I got a kick out of his Lady Gaga thing. It boggles my mind, though that when something so emotional as this is happens... people bust out in statistics like.... chickenpox. I felt the news people were very good about this. Somebody was on the ball.
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