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Jon The I-A-B Intern: Intern Life, Blog 1 [Pic]

Hey I-A-B,

Guess what I got today (besides getting kicked out of my sweet office)? Oh, you didn”t hear? I”ve only been bitching about it all over I-A-B”s Facebook fan page. Yeah, my cool office has been taken away from me and in return, I”m back in general population–cubicle hell. Not even a full cubicle–it”s a half-sized cubicle. Nice, right? But I digress…

I also got a new intern, and while I usually loathe interns (they almost always require lots of babysitting and hand-holding–except for Shark Girl–Shark Girl was a gem), Jon seems like he has his shit together. I don”t really have a lot for him to do right now, so I”m having him write a daily blog. Nice of me, right? While all the other interns around here are dealing with spreadsheets and sitting in on meetings about planning other meetings, young Jonathan gets to write blogs. [Pats self on back.]

OK, so here”s his first entry, it”s just a quickie introduction, but I like it…

–Fancylad

PS: That photo is my desk and new view. Living the dream, huh?


My Life (and Lunch) by Jon Kolker, I-A-B Intern

Hello Dear Future Friends,

My name is Jon and I”m from Salty Balty (Baltimore). I attended college at George Washington U in DC. I majored in English, but more importantly served as the Washington Nationals first-ever batboy in 2005. It was awesome. I got paid to go to games, sit in the dugout, eat gourmet food after games, and write my name and number on baseballs and throw them to cute girls in the stands. Once a balding dude named Tod caught one. It was weird.

I moved to LA three years ago and am now enrolled in grad school at USC. I”m getting a Masters degree in Digital Media and am playing lots of pickup basketball. I”m also playing a lot of tennis, and recently won the USC tennis club tournament. I was down 3 match points but came back to win 11-9 in the final set. No trophy. But it”s ok, because after winning I went up the stands to kiss my girlfriend, and after a sweet embrace, I looked down outside the stadium and saw my opponent sitting on a curb in despair. Schadenfreude! No trophy needed.

I started interning at I-AM-BORED two hours and forty-eight minutes ago. So far so good–they have a nice kitchen area downstairs. I just got lunch at the farmers market down the street. I ate at a place called Fig, and got some Chila Quiles. It was really awesome, and it”s made of braised chicken, organic eggs, queso fresco, cilantro, onions, tortilla chips, parsley, and feta cheese. Just add some Tapatio and you”re set. I then got a strawberry drink at Harry”s Berries, and it was delicious–farmers markets are the way to go. While leaving I noticed that lots of homeless people in Santa Monica have arthritis. Hell of a disease.

I”m excited to intern here at I-A-B and will update you all with daily posts about life, art, science, and lunch items. Rock on!

–Jon

Fancy got a new intern. Fancy doesn”t have much for him to do right now. So Fancy asked him to write a daily blog.

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Date: 06/01/11 03:00 PM

59 Responses to Jon The I-A-B Intern: Intern Life, Blog 1 [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18499 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 2:52 pm
    Link: Jon The I-A-B Intern: Intern Life, Blog 1 - Fancy got a new intern. Fancy doesn`t have much for him to do right now. So Fancy asked him to write a daily blog.
  2. Profile photo of dave32891
    dave32891 Male 18-29
    542 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:09 pm
    too long did not read
  3. Profile photo of ElMustache
    ElMustache Male 18-29
    1625 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:12 pm
    Welcome to Hell! You`ll be serving our Lord, Fancy, until he tires of you and feeds you to the mods, or your internship is complete.
  4. Profile photo of kitteh9lives
    kitteh9lives Female 70 & Over
    8033 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:13 pm
    nom tasty intern....we need pics!
  5. Profile photo of hoodafakizit
    hoodafakizit Male 40-49
    353 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:13 pm
    In Memory of Jon`s Innocence: May it Rest in Peace
  6. Profile photo of SlothOfDoom
    SlothOfDoom Male 30-39
    2033 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:13 pm
    Upcoming feature: 10 random photos from Jon`s hard drive.
  7. Profile photo of Mornaf
    Mornaf Male 18-29
    820 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:20 pm
    here`s to hoping this turns out to be great.
  8. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18499 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:20 pm
    He`s giving me photos tomorrow for the next post, but if you do a little sleuthing on the I-A-B Facebook fan page, I bet you`ll find him.
  9. Profile photo of tn11
    tn11 Male 18-29
    1587 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:22 pm
    whoa! I think I`m a little slow. When did Kitteh9Lives become a mod?

    also, good luck john. We`re all counting on you.
  10. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18499 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:32 pm
    tn, kitteh`s been a mod for about a month now--don`t worry, she kicks ass.

    and i think jon`s going to work out well--he`s too smart for me to haze.
  11. Profile photo of dude21862004
    dude21862004 Male 18-29
    768 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:38 pm
    It`s a good think this intern is so humble.
  12. Profile photo of lemurs366
    lemurs366 Female 18-29
    385 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:38 pm
    WHAT HAPPENED TO SPENCER?!
  13. Profile photo of Subfighter88
    Subfighter88 Male 18-29
    69 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:50 pm
    Rock on brotha!
  14. Profile photo of hatface
    hatface Male 18-29
    605 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:54 pm
    Hey fancy, I`ve got a question, how does IAB work? Does running IAB take up your entire day, or is it just your piece on the side?
  15. Profile photo of honkeylips
    honkeylips Male 30-39
    1586 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:56 pm
    OK I guess he`ll work he tied schadenfreude into regular conversation, but is it just me or does Harry`s berries sound like a gay porn title?
  16. Profile photo of aquaman1227
    aquaman1227 Male 18-29
    683 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:57 pm
    No booze in plain sight on the desk... poor fancy.
  17. Profile photo of Nebbie
    Nebbie Male 18-29
    864 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 3:58 pm
    I don`t like him.
  18. Profile photo of AmyNicoleduh
    AmyNicoleduh Female 18-29
    1158 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 4:00 pm
    Are you just going to be posting his daily entries to the site, Fancy?

    Looking forward to the pics tomorrow. There`s something charming there. It will be interesting to see how his posts change as his attitude toward the place develops.

    Good luck, Jon!
  19. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18499 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 4:00 pm
    @lemurs366: Spencer has moved on. Interns are usually only around for a semester.

    @honkeylips: Harry`s Berries totally sounds like bear/daddy porn.

    @hatface: Yes, I-A-B takes up my full day. Usually 10 hours, 8 hours during the day, another 2 at night while I`m at home. I do a few other things for Demand Media (I-A-B`s mothership), but I try not to think about those tasks, they`re not fun and suited more for a retarded monkey.
  20. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18499 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 4:02 pm
    @AmyNicoleduh: Yep, because I don`t really have a lot for him to do around here, I think a daily blog will work well. It`ll keep his school advisor happy, it`ll keep my many managers here happy and it`ll keep Jon interested for the semester.
  21. Profile photo of a1butcher
    a1butcher Male 40-49
    4812 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    @Jon (the intern fella)

    Do you guys get paid anything besides coffee and donuts?
  22. Profile photo of LandoGriffin
    LandoGriffin Male 30-39
    3844 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm
    To Jon - one important detail: How exactly did you know that the bald guy who caught the baseball with your phone number was named Tod, and if he called you on the phone wouldn`t you assume it was spelled "Todd" - therefore I conclude you must have had some sort of liason with this Tod fellow. Am I right?
  23. Profile photo of madest
    madest Male 40-49
    7379 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm
    Ahoy fellow Marylander! High five o/
  24. Profile photo of Artichoke
    Artichoke Female 18-29
    198 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 4:46 pm
    Hi Jon! I`m Arti and I`m a mod here.

    We have a chat room at IAB, and a lot of the regular users hang out there and talk. You should come and introduce yourself to everyone. :D

  25. Profile photo of Artichoke
    Artichoke Female 18-29
    198 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm
    Also Aqua...shame on you for abandoning chat. :|
  26. Profile photo of JoeYC
    JoeYC Male 18-29
    721 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 4:52 pm
    and why would I-A-B need an office? its only a pesky site anyone could run?
  27. Profile photo of DrProfessor
    DrProfessor Male 18-29
    3894 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 5:23 pm
    I`m confused(and perhaps an uninformed noob)..what does fancy do at the office? Is it an IAB office, or is it just some place that Fancy works at and also manages his IAB stuff from? Is Jon just saying "interning at IAB" rather than mentioning the company`s name?
  28. Profile photo of funnehkitteh
    funnehkitteh Male 18-29
    528 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 5:26 pm
    ALL HAIL THE GREAT JOHN KOLKER!
    the new assistant of the king
    Fancylad!! <3
  29. Profile photo of funnehkitteh
    funnehkitteh Male 18-29
    528 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 5:28 pm
    infact @Nebbie i`m with you
  30. Profile photo of human_exile
    human_exile Male 13-17
    875 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 5:51 pm
    an office seems unnecessary to a small site like this. and why was Fancy kicked out of his office and into a cubicle?
  31. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7423 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 6:00 pm
    Hi Jon, I hope the office is friendlier than the forums.
  32. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11742 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 6:18 pm
    Fancy has a real job that actually pays money. So that office is where he got demoted to a cubicle for fapping on company time. This site is just a sweet gig to keep him busy and (hopefully) out of prison (again).
  33. Profile photo of madest
    madest Male 40-49
    7379 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 6:34 pm
    Bravo ff!
  34. Profile photo of SmilinSam
    SmilinSam Female 18-29
    3599 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 6:45 pm
    how many sites run out of that same office i wonder? we`re getting to see a bit more into the mysterious behind the scenes of internet companies... i wanna know who is affiliated with IAB
  35. Profile photo of danthew
    danthew Male 18-29
    2122 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 6:54 pm
    Hey Jon, I like your style. Here are some random questions:
    1) Do you get an account on IAB, maybe a special colour name?
    2) More request than question. If you ever get the chance to sneak onto fancy`s computer, could you add "United Kingdom" to the location options? I am fed up with having "Europe" as my location, while you Americans can specify which area of the US you are from.
    3) I have literally no idea how the semester system works in the US, how long are you going to be around?
    4) Are you going to post about the daily workings of IAB? It`d be nice to find out more about how the site works.
    5) If you had to choose, if someone was forcing you at gunpoint, what would you say your favourite cheese is?

  36. Profile photo of CreamK
    CreamK Male 40-49
    1423 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 8:07 pm
    I can`t believe that people get paid for this. Not that it is not a job that deserves a salary, i`m just dumbfounded that someone is actually willing to pay for it. Actually, i`m stupified that someone actually inserts numbers to my account every month for my contribution to the society. Well, a contribution is a strong word, more likely i`m just a nuicance or waste of your precious oxygen more likely.
  37. Profile photo of CreamK
    CreamK Male 40-49
    1423 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 8:25 pm
    Oh, if you get Finland in the options as a country instead of just generally "Europe", that would be nice.. Europe is not a country and those measely looking squiggly lines in the map of the subcontinent of Eurasia are actually all legitimate borders of sovereign entities. It would be the same as you would have to tick a box stating your "country" is America while you`re living in Equador. Or Canada, what ever ticks your boxes the most.
  38. Profile photo of Enjin
    Enjin Male 30-39
    802 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 8:39 pm
    Who knew there was an office and some kind of retinue involved in posting links on the internet. I always assumed that this site was run by people who had real jobs and did this in spare time.
  39. Profile photo of Flashpacker
    Flashpacker Male 18-29
    672 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 8:41 pm
    Someone give this man a raise.. and longer lunchbreaks
  40. Profile photo of Zombiemike
    Zombiemike Male 18-29
    553 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 9:00 pm
    Make him get an iab tattoo. Or fire him.
  41. Profile photo of Batmanners
    Batmanners Male 18-29
    4007 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 10:14 pm
    @Fancylad, is that entire office dedicated to IAB? If so, why is the guy people look up to as "The main IAB man" put in the middle of the half-cubicles?

    I realize there is more behind the scenes we don`t see, but I don`t care if the editors are the guys who make the movies happen... They shouldn`t get the director`s chairs.
  42. Profile photo of METALLICAROX
    METALLICAROX Male 18-29
    324 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 10:23 pm
    Who gives a f*ck?
  43. Profile photo of Draculya
    Draculya Male 40-49
    14544 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 10:27 pm
    Welcome bat-boy. +1 for the tattoo.
  44. Profile photo of CheshireKiti
    CheshireKiti Female 18-29
    31 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 10:34 pm
    This reads like a letter home to your mom. We want juicy inside details and gossip.
  45. Profile photo of CoyoteKing
    CoyoteKing Male 18-29
    2988 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 10:42 pm
    stopped at the pic of shark girl. Moar of her please.
  46. Profile photo of Skabashas
    Skabashas Male 18-29
    1255 posts
    June 1, 2011 at 11:21 pm
    I can already tell I`m going to enjoy reading these. Jon, you have my dream job (or internship, whatever). I hope this blog lets me live vicariously through you.
  47. Profile photo of lastapplepie
    lastapplepie Male 13-17
    49 posts
    June 2, 2011 at 1:04 am
    WHEN DID YOU LOSE YOUR VIRGENITY IF NOT NOT I HOPE FANCY HELPS YOU LOSE IT
  48. Profile photo of 8BitHero
    8BitHero Male 18-29
    5414 posts
    June 2, 2011 at 1:28 am
    Shark-girl!
  49. Profile photo of BenTheBug
    BenTheBug Male 18-29
    1195 posts
    June 2, 2011 at 1:45 am
    SmilinSam: [quote">how many sites run out of that same office i wonder? we`re getting to see a bit more into the mysterious behind the scenes of internet companies... i wanna know who is affiliated with IAB[/quote">

    IAB is owned by Demand Media, which owns eHow, Livestrong and Cracked along with a few other websites.

    Their website.
  50. Profile photo of roariamadino
    roariamadino Male 18-29
    270 posts
    June 2, 2011 at 1:51 am
    can i have a job?
    namely your job
  51. Profile photo of EntrE
    EntrE Male 18-29
    535 posts
    June 2, 2011 at 4:51 am
    TL;DR
  52. Profile photo of tedgp
    tedgp Male 30-39
    3287 posts
    June 2, 2011 at 6:34 am
    LOL interns. Basically people who do the same job for free as those who actually get paid for it.
  53. Profile photo of almightybob1
    almightybob1 Male 18-29
    4290 posts
    June 2, 2011 at 7:34 am
    an office seems unnecessary to a small site like this.
    IAB gets several million hits a month. That`s not really that small.

    Also, welcome Jon :)
  54. Profile photo of piperfawn
    piperfawn Male 30-39
    4887 posts
    June 2, 2011 at 7:49 am
    i want shark girl!
  55. Profile photo of denmarkcm
    denmarkcm Male 18-29
    341 posts
    June 2, 2011 at 8:33 am
    So we had Shark Girl... now we need Lava Boy!! I`m voting that Jon wear a volcano hat!
  56. Profile photo of JDKIAB
    JDKIAB Male 18-29
    21 posts
    June 2, 2011 at 11:35 am
    Thanks for the warm welcomes! I love you all. I will do my best to answer some of the questions in my blog today. Stay strong amigos.
  57. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25406 posts
    June 2, 2011 at 12:36 pm
    nice.... cant argue with a girl dressed as a shark, unless your a shark wisperer!
  58. Profile photo of AngryYouth
    AngryYouth Male 18-29
    734 posts
    June 2, 2011 at 4:20 pm
    @FatNinja01 By the way, it`s "you`re" not "your" that you should be using in that sentence.
  59. Profile photo of Suicism
    Suicism Male 18-29
    3625 posts
    June 3, 2011 at 3:23 am
    What is that in the corner there, fancy? A portable distiller?

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