Hipster Jesus Still Loves You [Pic]

Submitted by: hovalady411 5 years ago in Funny

You probably have just never heard of Him, he"s pretty obscure.
There are 23 comments:
Female 116
Ha, is it Fort Wayne? Must find!
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Male 25,416
awesome..
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Male 369
...Thats in Fort Wayne! Wow I feel relevent!
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Male 4,902
I refuse to believe Jesus was a hipster, if this is true i may have to switch alliances.
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Male 1,745
It`s just missing a comma...

"Hipster, Jesus loved you before you were cool"

har har har
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Male 1,010
Jesus wore sandals, and he had long hair and a beard.

"My name is Jesus. I am here to tell you about God. You probably never heard of him before."

Jesus, the hipster above all hipsters.
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Male 1,195
If he were a real hipster, he wouldn`t love you anymore because you`re too mainstream.
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Male 1,054
"Plausible, IAB?"

No.
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Male 354
"Want virgin birth, but tired of waiting for God to plow your wife? NO PROBLEM!"


lmao, that was great!
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Male 2,790
hipsters...
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Male 4,793
Hipster Jesus? sounds like the epitome of retarded and evil. Unless they meant "Hipster, Jesus".
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Male 773
*in 2000 years,
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Male 773
Has anyone else ever run across the thought that maaaybe the Bible is just some form of ancient comicbookery? Like, in 2000, do you think its possble that mankind will believe that Batman is real? It`s possible..alot could happen in that time..

Jesus could just be some old ass Spiderman, but everyone got to believe he was completely legit. Thats why the different gospels show slightly different versions, they are still canon, but are slightly different story arcs..

Plausible, IAB?
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Male 2,700
"Want virgin birth, but tired of waiting for God to plow your wife? NO PROBLEM!

Just whack off into your least favorite turkey baster, stick it up your wife`s snatch and squeeze the bulb. Repeat until you knock the b*tch up!

BAM! WHOOSH! POW!

Your very own virgin-born child, in MINUTES!"

These type of comments are the only thing that keeps me coming to this site. Shows that I am not the only one with an entirely inappropriate satirical sense of humor.
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Male 3,894
Want virgin birth, but tired of waiting for God to plow your wife? NO PROBLEM!

Just whack off into your least favorite turkey baster, stick it up your wife`s snatch and squeeze the bulb. Repeat until you knock the b*tch up!

BAM! WHOOSH! POW!

Your very own virgin-born child, in MINUTES!
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Male 3,482
[quote]Still don`t understand how someone can get pregnant without having their cherry popped.[/quote]
Entirely possible.

Some dudes just don`t pop it while having sex. Either they`re too small, or they didn`t put enough force and it just stretched rather than tore.

That`s part of why the hymen isn`t a very good judge of whether a girl`s a virgin or not (combined with the fact that some aren`t born with one in the first place, and others can tear it doing other activities).

And, in the same vein, why I`m skeptical about the "virgin birth."

I could have made some comedy, like Steelgrid did, but I felt more like educating some people.
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Male 684
Trying to lure people in with the popular things of the day, just so they can then condemn the ways of the world...does no one else see this as a fail?
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Male 794
jesus, the original hipster, water into wine, walk everywhere, wear sandals, long unkept beard, and chilled with more dudes than you can count on your hands plus a prostitute......i bet you he had those gage piercings but he was so far ahead of his time we never heard about that
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Male 2,700
"Still don`t understand how someone can get pregnant without having their cherry popped."

I bet Joseph was all like, "This little bastard better the be ONLY son of God!!!"

As far as understanding it, it pretty much goes like this.

God: Oh she`s pretty, but she has a boyfriend, but i`m mother drating GOD!!!

**Rape, Rape, Rape,**

God: Like a BOSS!!!
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Male 354
Still don`t understand how someone can get pregnant without having their cherry popped.
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Male 15,510
Real Hipsters hate Jesus because he is so mainstream
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Male 1,237
FFFFUUUUUUUUUU-
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Female 1,262
Link: Hipster Jesus Still Loves You [Pic] [Rate Link] - You probably have just never heard of Him, he`s pretty obscure.
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