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23 Comments - View/Add
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Rating: 3.9
Category: Funny
Date: 06/17/11 09:08 AM

23 Responses to Hipster Jesus Still Loves You [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of hovalady411
    hovalady411 Female 18-29
    1262 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 9:10 am
    Link: Hipster Jesus Still Loves You - You probably have just never heard of Him, he`s pretty obscure.
  2. Profile photo of Jowsh
    Jowsh Male 18-29
    1237 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 9:13 am
    FFFFUUUUUUUUUU-
  3. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 9:15 am
    Real Hipsters hate Jesus because he is so mainstream
  4. Profile photo of I-See-U
    I-See-U Male 18-29
    354 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 9:59 am
    Still don`t understand how someone can get pregnant without having their cherry popped.
  5. Profile photo of Steelgrid
    Steelgrid Male 30-39
    2700 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 10:18 am
    "Still don`t understand how someone can get pregnant without having their cherry popped."

    I bet Joseph was all like, "This little bastard better the be ONLY son of God!!!"

    As far as understanding it, it pretty much goes like this.

    God: Oh she`s pretty, but she has a boyfriend, but i`m mother drating GOD!!!

    **Rape, Rape, Rape,**

    God: Like a BOSS!!!
  6. Profile photo of SumRandom1
    SumRandom1 Male 18-29
    794 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 10:29 am
    jesus, the original hipster, water into wine, walk everywhere, wear sandals, long unkept beard, and chilled with more dudes than you can count on your hands plus a prostitute......i bet you he had those gage piercings but he was so far ahead of his time we never heard about that
  7. Profile photo of chimmeychang
    chimmeychang Male 30-39
    685 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 10:35 am
    Trying to lure people in with the popular things of the day, just so they can then condemn the ways of the world...does no one else see this as a fail?
  8. Profile photo of Altaru
    Altaru Male 18-29
    3483 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 10:46 am
    Still don`t understand how someone can get pregnant without having their cherry popped.
    Entirely possible.

    Some dudes just don`t pop it while having sex. Either they`re too small, or they didn`t put enough force and it just stretched rather than tore.

    That`s part of why the hymen isn`t a very good judge of whether a girl`s a virgin or not (combined with the fact that some aren`t born with one in the first place, and others can tear it doing other activities).

    And, in the same vein, why I`m skeptical about the "virgin birth."

    I could have made some comedy, like Steelgrid did, but I felt more like educating some people.
  9. Profile photo of DrProfessor
    DrProfessor Male 18-29
    3894 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 10:57 am
    Want virgin birth, but tired of waiting for God to plow your wife? NO PROBLEM!

    Just whack off into your least favorite turkey baster, stick it up your wife`s snatch and squeeze the bulb. Repeat until you knock the b*tch up!

    BAM! WHOOSH! POW!

    Your very own virgin-born child, in MINUTES!
  10. Profile photo of Steelgrid
    Steelgrid Male 30-39
    2700 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 11:15 am
    "Want virgin birth, but tired of waiting for God to plow your wife? NO PROBLEM!

    Just whack off into your least favorite turkey baster, stick it up your wife`s snatch and squeeze the bulb. Repeat until you knock the b*tch up!

    BAM! WHOOSH! POW!

    Your very own virgin-born child, in MINUTES!"

    These type of comments are the only thing that keeps me coming to this site. Shows that I am not the only one with an entirely inappropriate satirical sense of humor.
  11. Profile photo of IshiiDaFishy
    IshiiDaFishy Male 18-29
    773 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 11:18 am
    Has anyone else ever run across the thought that maaaybe the Bible is just some form of ancient comicbookery? Like, in 2000, do you think its possble that mankind will believe that Batman is real? It`s possible..alot could happen in that time..

    Jesus could just be some old ass Spiderman, but everyone got to believe he was completely legit. Thats why the different gospels show slightly different versions, they are still canon, but are slightly different story arcs..

    Plausible, IAB?
  12. Profile photo of IshiiDaFishy
    IshiiDaFishy Male 18-29
    773 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 11:19 am
    *in 2000 years,
  13. Profile photo of TKD_Master
    TKD_Master Male 18-29
    4794 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 11:31 am
    Hipster Jesus? sounds like the epitome of retarded and evil. Unless they meant "Hipster, Jesus".
  14. Profile photo of cyborg
    cyborg Male 13-17
    2790 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 11:59 am
    hipsters...
  15. Profile photo of I-See-U
    I-See-U Male 18-29
    354 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 12:59 pm
    "Want virgin birth, but tired of waiting for God to plow your wife? NO PROBLEM!"


    lmao, that was great!
  16. Profile photo of Heureux
    Heureux Male 40-49
    1054 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 1:09 pm
    "Plausible, IAB?"

    No.
  17. Profile photo of BenTheBug
    BenTheBug Male 18-29
    1195 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 2:15 pm
    If he were a real hipster, he wouldn`t love you anymore because you`re too mainstream.
  18. Profile photo of Student_Law
    Student_Law Male 30-39
    1010 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 4:44 pm
    Jesus wore sandals, and he had long hair and a beard.

    "My name is Jesus. I am here to tell you about God. You probably never heard of him before."

    Jesus, the hipster above all hipsters.
  19. Profile photo of paperduck
    paperduck Male 18-29
    1745 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 5:17 pm
    It`s just missing a comma...

    "Hipster, Jesus loved you before you were cool"

    har har har
  20. Profile photo of xCYBERDYNEx
    xCYBERDYNEx Male 18-29
    4903 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 7:11 pm
    I refuse to believe Jesus was a hipster, if this is true i may have to switch alliances.
  21. Profile photo of Kalon
    Kalon Male 13-17
    369 posts
    June 17, 2011 at 9:45 pm
    ...Thats in Fort Wayne! Wow I feel relevent!
  22. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    June 18, 2011 at 2:33 pm
    awesome..
  23. Profile photo of Aluciel
    Aluciel Female 18-29
    116 posts
    June 20, 2011 at 9:42 pm
    Ha, is it Fort Wayne? Must find!

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