The Pros & Cons Of Being A Guy And Peeing [Pic]

Submitted by: eastsiderepp 6 years ago in Funny

Sorry ladies, we know how hard it is to be you, but when it comes to peeing, guys win that game too...
There are 79 comments:
Female 27
It`s not ironic.
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Male 592
Well, I don`t care if it makes you a sissy. If you wet the seat, clean it. I don`t care about the lid. Clean your mess or you will see my lady mess. Period.

it`s ironic because `lady mess` and `period`
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Female 1,264
Well, I don`t care if it makes you a sissy. If you wet the seat, clean it. I don`t care about the lid. Clean your mess or you will see my lady mess. Period.
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Male 2,376
when i`m outdoor its unbelievable how natural it feels to pee on tree. its like nothing else matter except the temporary piece of artwork i`m working on
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Male 247
The perfect solution to the "seat up or seat down" argument is for both/all parties to compromise--put them BOTH down, seat AND lid. That way, both genders must adjust to have their "adorable cutie tinkle time".

And ladies? Shut up about it. We are not your dogs that we must do what you say. Lower the stupid lid.
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Male 105
My rule is If I am going to pee in a public toilet instead of a urinal I put up the seat first. If you don`t want to touch the seat, just either use a wad of TP or your shoe. Is that too much to ask?
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Male 2,688
[quote]something i DO have a problem with however, is pee ANYWHERE other than IN THE GODDAMNED TOILET![/quote]

I agree with this statement. I`m by no means a neat freak, but it bothers me when I walk into a bathroom and there`s pee on the toilet or on the floor around it. I understand that public restrooms are just gonna be like that and no amount of maintenance is going to keep them pristine at all times, but bathrooms at HOME should be kept at the very least presentable.

As Angilion stated, the person who made the mess should clean it up before they leave the room. Its unfortunate that most people are too lazy for this though.
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Male 2,688
@Swaywithme

[quote]If we came to you and asked you, "Would you mind making sure it`s down at night?" it seems like a pretty reasonable request. [/quote]

This is only half true, since it would only be a reasonable request if you were just as willing to accept if the man asked "Do you mind leaving the seat up at night?"

Its not a reasonable request unless you are open to the same inconvenience were the situation reversed. Angilion is right. (Yea, thats right... I said it...) Women requesting that men leave the seat down is most often an unfair request because most women wouldn`t accept the role being reversed. Whatever their reasoning or excuse, women seem to have it in their heads that they are given luxury of being able to demand/request that the toilet seat be left down for them.

Its this simple... If its up and you need it down... PUT IT DOWN... If its down and you need it up... PUT IT UP... There`s no point in fighting over som
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Male 12,365

[quote]something i DO have a problem with however, is pee ANYWHERE other than IN THE GODDAMNED TOILET!! i don`t know if you shake it too hard or just let it drip but when i see little pee sprinkles on the floor i just want to gag.[/quote]

Could be from a man peeing sitting down - huge splashback from peeing very near the inside of the toilet can splatter pee over the underside of the seat and onto the floor.

Could be misjudging the pee pressure. If he`s aiming correctly for one pressure and it comes out at a different pressure, he`ll miss a bit. Mostly likely towards the end, when the pressure tails off.

Whatever the reason, whoever dripped on the floor should clean it up. Only fair.
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Male 12,365
[quote]why do people care so much about the damn toilet seat?[/quote]

It`s not about the toilet seat, not really. It`s about expectation of service. The toilet seat is just something to implement it on. Like two neighbours who hate each other fighting over a bush that`s dropped some leaves over the property boundaries - it`s not really about the leaves.
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Male 12,365
[quote]The flaw with everything you`ve said Angilion, at least where it concerns me is that it wasn`t an expectation- I said pretty much from the get go that it was a request, it`s not something I would just expect to happen, but I would ask my partner for the consideration and that`s what I meant by "don`t you love us?"[/quote]

The flaw with your response is that you`re an exception. It`s not requests that are an issue.

Given that your statement was "Why do none of you love your womens? :(", it didn`t seem to be about you. You can`t be the woman of various people in various different countries.
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Female 3,696
The flaw with everything you`ve said Angilion, at least where it concerns me is that it wasn`t an expectation- I said pretty much from the get go that it was a request, it`s not something I would just expect to happen, but I would ask my partner for the consideration and that`s what I meant by "don`t you love us?" If we came to you and asked you, "Would you mind making sure it`s down at night?" it seems like a pretty reasonable request. Let`s just say, I`m very happy that my roommate isn`t MY boyfriend and that we no longer share bathrooms.

tommy2X4 I personally think that`s an excellent compromise. If it was going to happen, I`d rather sit down and have the toilet be closed completely than sit and have the open bowl. Again, I have to repeat myself it seems but I`m only talking about late at night, before we conceivably would be going to bed. During the day, leave the plucker up all day, don`t even care.


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Male 1,598
I can`t believe this is all such a big deal. This is the way that wars are started.
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Female 3,598
why do people care so much about the damn toilet seat? is it really that fracking hard to just move it? i`ve never understood girls having a problem with the seat... something i DO have a problem with however, is pee ANYWHERE other than IN THE GODDAMNED TOILET!! i don`t know if you shake it too hard or just let it drip but when i see little pee sprinkles on the floor i just want to gag. then i have to clean them before i can even sit down to pee...
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Female 98
Oh lord, just close the seat and the lid. I`m paranoid of water particles going everywhere when I flush anyway.
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Male 197
Solution: Sit down and force a poo. If needed, enlist the aid of coffee and cigarettes. Don`t forget the newspaper, and enjoy your break.
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Male 125
Only the first 3 and 6th Pro are true, the other pros are completely false. I expect better from the oatmeal :-(
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Male 12,365
Summary:

If I`m being well paid as a top-rank personal servant, a lady`s maid or gentleman`s gentleman, then my employer can reasonably expect me to provide perfect service.

If I`m in a personal relationship, that expectation is not reasonable.

It`s the *expectation* that`s the issue. It doesn`t matter if it`s toilet seats, cups of tea or whatever. The task may be trivial, but the expectation of service is far from trivial. Doing something for your partner is part of a relationship. That`s very different to them expectating perfect service because of your sex, expecting it so much that they don`t even look where they`re going because they have assumed that you have fulfilled your duty of service to them and prepared the way for them.
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Male 12,365
[quote]The difference being that you are aware and informed that the seat has been lifted in the first place! I didn`t lift it![/quote]

The difference...isn`t a difference.

Scenario 1:

i) You`ve peed and left the seat down. I didn`t put it down. You put it down.

ii) I want to pee. I see that the seat it down and I lift it up so I can pee.

Scenario 2:

i) I`ve peed and left the seat up. You didn`t put it up. I put it up.

ii) You want to pee. You see that the seat is up and you put it down so you can pee.

Not a difference - we`re both neither informed nor aware in advance and we both have to do the same thing, i.e. move the seat.

You can`t rationally justify an expectation of service to such a degree that you never need to look for yourself. It`s like walking into a door without even looking to see if it was open or closed and then complaining that it`s a man`s fault because he didn`t open it for yo
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Male 12,365
Fake cut-off limit strikes again:

It`s easy for a woman to make a cup of tea. Would it therefore be reasonable for men to demand and expect their women to make tea on demand so men never have to do so?

It`s the same attitude - *expectation* of service.

So does anyone think it`s a reasonable demand? I don`t, which makes me consistent. How about those of you who think men should serve women to such an extent that women don`t even have to function as adults enough to look before sitting? Are you consistent?
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Male 12,365
[quote]Why do none of you love your womens? :( [/quote]

Subservience is not love.

Being *expected* to inconvenience yourself for the convenience of someone else, *every time without exception*, is subservience.

Women who complain that they`re not receiving the service they are due from their men are not being reasonable.

Many of them are also not being even vaguely rational. One of the most common arguments is that men have no excuse for not serving women because it`s trivial to see what position the toilet seat is in and move it if necessary. Which it is...so why are the same people also arguing that it`s far too onerous a task for any woman to do? People who make the "it`s easy for men to do it" argument can`t possibly think women are as incompetent as they`re making them out to be.

It`s easy for a woman to make a cup of tea. Would it therefore be reasonable for men to demand and expect their women to make tea on demand so me
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Male 2,688
@tommy2x4

I did this when I was married and my exwife FLIPPED... I told her, "Hey... If Im gonna inconvenience myself, Im gonna inconvenience BOTH OF US..."

And btw... Sitting down has another pro: No backsplash, so no splatter to clean up.
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Male 521
@pianok-

I know exactly what you mean! Although, I don`t think it`s a problem for the "ordinary" guys; just for those "extraordinary" gentlemen such as ourselves. :-)
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Male 320
The biggest Con they failed to mention is when your junk contacts the water while sitting. NOT GOOD!
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Male 519
@Tommy2x4 I do the exact same thing. Ir requires no more effort on my part, but now they`re required to work as well.
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Male 92
1.) +one MILLION, for being a man makes the world
your urinal.

2.) I tried for YEARS to get my wife to put the
seat up when she`s done, but she just couldn`t
be trained.
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Male 3,477
If you get a lot of grief about leaving the toilet seat up, do what I do. Close both the seat and the lid and make them have to raise the cover before they pee.
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Male 3,477
I like to read my car and motorcycle magazines and air out my bung hole.
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Male 530
A king must sit on his throne. It`s MY house and MY throne and i sit on it whenever i @$^%@$ feel like it.
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Female 850
EWWW wog you piss with your prince albert in?
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Male 555
I have a prince albert piercing, so I gain 40 million points when sitting, because I`m not leaking all over the floor, walls and ceiling
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Male 1,421
It`s a matter of consideration but for my experience, if you do it every time, women will NEVER remember that you don`t do that if you were single... So, flick the seat down 9 out of 10 times and once in a while remind her that..

Also, shaking is harder when sitting down, more drops in our pants. And does anybody else hate that cold porcelain touching in the tip of your penis since normal design doesn`t make any room for mens private parts.. It`s usually desgined for women to sit and in public restrooms... brrrhhh, that touch makes me very aware that i`m not the first one to have my penis in that place.. brrrhhh again.
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Female 61
put the seat down. i dont want to touch your splashtastic pee pee on the seat.
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Female 3,696
Why do none of you love your womens? :( You need it down a good chunk of the time too! Besides, do you always go into the bathroom feeling around for the seat with your hands in the dark? ><;;; eww.. Seriously, I`m just talking about the dead of the night here!

"That is exactly what I tell every single woman who bitches at me for leaving the seat up."

The difference being that you are aware and informed that the seat has been lifted in the first place! I didn`t lift it!

It`s like saying well I took the milk out and left it on the counter- why didn`t you check it before you put it in your coffee? ...why was it on the counter??
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Male 612
really thought oatmeal was better humor then resulting to "sissy little bitch" punchlines...
guess not.
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Male 4,004
"So, how hard is it to flick the drating seat down? =]"

That is exactly what I tell every single woman who bitches at me for leaving the seat up.
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Male 321
Pssh, put the seat down yourself, woman. You don`t need the light on to be smart enough not to go ass first into an open toilet bowl. At least one would hope so..
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Female 3,696
Oh! Also, If there`s a rampant creature problem in your house and no one apparently flushes when they`re finished, I think the seat being left up is the least of our concerns for the time. . .

.____.
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Female 3,696
MechBFP

How often do you like turning the light on at 4 am when you`ve just woken up? Your body preps for sleep by releasing melatonin into your system which helps lower your temperature and makes you less alert.

Light, natural or otherwise prevents the production of melatonin which makes it significantly more difficult to fall back into precious, precious sleep. So, how hard is it to flick the drating seat down? =]

@Angilion A gentleman`s gentleman, it`s a much appreciate courtesy!
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Male 734
I pee sitting down to get the poop and pee combo. I think nothing of it.

I`ve noticed that my aim is always better when I have to pee more; I`m sure it`s the same for everyone else.
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Male 813
Swaywithme, I don`t know about you, but I would rather check the toilet first before using it to make sure there isn`t alreadu a large turd already in the bowl, or perhaps poisonous critters that will bite my sensitive parts.
How hard is it to turn on a drating light switch?
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Male 100
I`m with you Angilion. Our office has the usual male and female restrooms. The mens room toilet is round and my penis can easily touch the rim. One day the mens toilet was broke so I went into the womens and what did I see? A perfectly shaped oval toilet with about 4 inches of room between my peen and the bowl! I`m so tempted to come in one weekend and swap them.
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Male 12,365
[quote]When I go to the bathroom at night- blind as a bat, desperately trying to expose myself to as little light as possible and stumbling to even locate the toilet?[/quote]

I broke a toe doing that. Caught the little toe of my right foot on something while walking blind and wrenched it so hard sideways that it snapped. I got two lessons from that - you don`t realise how much you use your toes while walking until it hurts to do so and it`s worth putting the lights on even when you`re going to pee at night.

[quote]The seat is the last thing I think about.[/quote]

I`ve shared houses with women. So I changed my habits to include checking the position of the seat.

Although nowadays I keep the seat and lid down unless I`m using the toilet. It`s neater and it saves having a fine mist of the contents sprayed over your bathroom when you flush. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction - flush down, spray up.
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Female 3,574
*shrugs*
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Female 3,696
I laughed :) but in the spirit of the situation I have a small plea for our boys and please take this in the kindhearted way it`s intended!

You can leave the seat up all day long. By all means, from dawn till dusk I don`t mind putting it down in the slightest....but for the love of beer, for the love of competitive sports, for the love of my letting you put your penis up it-!!

When I go to the bathroom at night- blind as a bat, desperately trying to expose myself to as little light as possible and stumbling to even locate the toilet? The seat is the last thing I think about.

Worst case scenario for you? You pee on the seat and I probably have to clean that up too.

Worst case scenario for me? Well, you can imagine or if not Go! give it a try...I`ll wait ;)Yeaaahh so please, please, please!...and Thank You.
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Male 180
Angilion, mine does that too, and I have an average sized penis. Usually it`s because of my morning wood. During a regular day when it`s not slightly erect, it doesn`t touch the bowl.
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Male 12,365
Maybe UK toilets are oddly shaped, but I`ve had a number of occasions where sitting down has resulted in the glans of my penis rubbing against the inside of the toilet bowl. That is not pleasant. And no, I am not hung like a horse or implying that I am.

Also:

It makes no difference to the zipper thing.

You can`t go `hands free` or avoid aiming because you can get massive splashback if you`re not pointing downwards enough. Although maybe that`s due to UK toilets possibly being oddly shaped. Or my enormous willy :)
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Male 12,365
[quote]plus that whole zipper thing sounds absolutely terrible.[/quote]

It is. Although you stop pulling the zipper VERY quickly if it gets caught. But not quickly enough to avoid having mangled bits of flesh in it.

For any women who might find the comparison illuminating - it`s roughly equivalent to getting your labia caught in a zip and partially shredded as a result. Unless the man manages to get his glans instead. That`s far worse. It`s not as sensitive as a clitoris, but it`s not far off.

Now everyone can equally squirm and cross their legs at the thought of it :)

I`ve done it once, because I was drunk and therefore clumsy. Sufficient pain is remarkably effective at sobering you up, but I can`t say I recommend it.

A man I know ended up going to A&E because it was bleeding enough to worry him. Never a dull moment for A&E doctors and nurses!
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Male 269
I still don`t get the zipper thing, never happened to me... Dunno if this is related to me sitting 90% of my bathroom-visits.


Oh, and I see why the graphic sucks... Oatmeal again. I wonder if anyone has punched him yet for the sheer awefulness of his.... creations.
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Male 5,314
pretty much
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Male 419
meh, only in the early morning when it is too dangerous to stand up and pee. ;)
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Male 149
@jtrebowski Only for a select few of us
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Male 25,417
I do like the- you can switch form onesies to twosies
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Female 1,324
On average, it usually takes my male relatives longer to go pee than it takes me... plus that whole zipper thing sounds absolutely terrible.
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Male 2,085
Larry David did a Curb episode on this very subject. When he told a group of friends about his new habit, one of them asked him if he shat standing up.
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Male 591
For some of us, having a good excuse to handle our "man parts" (I hate that euphemism) is definitely a plus.
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Male 875
thats why i just recycle my own pee
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Male 2,988
when your roommate is in the bathroom or just got done dropping a deuce is great to be able to walk into the back yard and pee
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Male 497
i pee off the roof
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Female 4,359
oh boy....
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Male 3,369
@MrHoobtoyou: Uh...you DO know you`re supposed to lift the seat up first, right?
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Male 696
@ MrHoobToYou

Wow, dude. That Reply was a Post by itself.
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Male 496
The only time I sit to pee is when I have a false alarm, but I really consider that sitting down to fart.
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Male 702
Nothin` beats taking a good, long pee outside! No aiming required.
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Male 151
If you think your masculinity is defined by how you urinate, you have bigger issues anyway.
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Male 10,440
I have terrible aim. Urinals still work though.
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Male 950
lol, so true
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Male 196
now can we talk about the people with the tiny penises that go and use the sit down toilets and piss all over them ruining it for a guy who has to take a crap
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Male 145
"At home I have no choice, my wife makes me sit down to pee-basically so she doesn`t have to clean up after me."

you sissy little bitch, x100,000.
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Male 977
@MrHoobToYou your wife makes you pee in a particular way?? you may as well hand over your balls on a silver platter
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Male 1,931
I stand up to pee if I`m out of the house. But at home and if I have the time, drat it. I`m sitting the drat down.
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Male 302
MrHoobToYou, you are a little sissy bitch.
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Male 2,868
How is penis 100% safe from zipper? You`ll still have to zip back up after you get off the toilet.
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Male 2,034
I sit down to pee when I get up too early. Give me a break, I`m tired.
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Male 405
At home I have no choice, my wife makes me sit down to pee-basically so she doesn`t have to clean up after me.
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Female 2,249
Just because I`m a girl doesn`t mean I can`t stand up and pee >_>
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Male 1,093
its also more sanitary.
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Male 3,369
They forgot the biggest con: Your dork takes a swim in toilet water. Ugh.
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Male 2,620
Link: The Pros & Cons Of Being A Guy And Peeing [Pic] [Rate Link] - Sorry ladies, we know how hard it is to be you, but when it comes to peeing, guys win that game too...
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