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[Total: 36    Average: 3.5/5]
47 Comments - View/Add
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Rating: 3.5
Category: Funny
Date: 05/04/11 06:59 AM

47 Responses to 56 Awful Analogies

  1. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7468 posts
    May 3, 2011 at 8:33 am
    Link: 56 Awful Analogies - I bet none of these kids became English majors.
  2. Profile photo of Ujelly
    Ujelly Male 30-39
    81 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 7:27 am
    this post is as good as that one guy from that one movie about the man that eats people.
  3. Profile photo of HalfPintRoo
    HalfPintRoo Female 18-29
    2765 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 7:27 am
    The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon


    that is great imagination right there...
  4. Profile photo of handimanner
    handimanner Male 60-69
    2095 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 7:30 am
    Now I`m more bored than before
  5. Profile photo of SlothOfDoom
    SlothOfDoom Male 30-39
    2033 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 7:38 am
    "John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."


    Why did I laugh so hard at this?

    WHYYYY?
  6. Profile photo of jtrebowski
    jtrebowski Male 40-49
    3359 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 7:43 am
    LOL @ 6,7,29,and 39!!!
  7. Profile photo of Cata
    Cata Female 18-29
    72 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 7:49 am
    f-ing genius
  8. Profile photo of DixxyRarr
    DixxyRarr Female 18-29
    2674 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 8:10 am
    Oh jeeeze, that was hilarious. The Three Stooges one was my favorite.
  9. Profile photo of Frankii
    Frankii Female 18-29
    437 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 8:13 am
    Most of them would be brilliant in a Terry Pratchett type novel, if they weren`t so American I reckon he`d steal some XD
  10. Profile photo of joshual1887
    joshual1887 Male 18-29
    27 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 8:20 am
    I loved reading this, it made my morning.
  11. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7468 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 8:38 am
    slothofdoom, that too was the one that got me the hardest.
  12. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36657 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 8:57 am

    those were funny!

    #9 - Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
  13. Profile photo of fivezones
    fivezones Male 40-49
    1021 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 9:09 am
    The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
  14. Profile photo of green_btrfly
    green_btrfly Female 18-29
    751 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 9:27 am
    so much full of win!
  15. Profile photo of madduck
    madduck Female 50-59
    7558 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 9:57 am
    `there probably is a long German name for it.. ` and we all know there is too....
  16. Profile photo of Renaud-
    Renaud- Male 18-29
    423 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 10:01 am
    Some of these were actually pretty funny and witty...
  17. Profile photo of xtreme_dude
    xtreme_dude Male 18-29
    1372 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 10:33 am
    Many of these were actually quite hilarious.
  18. Profile photo of RFMITCH1
    RFMITCH1 Male 18-29
    121 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 11:10 am
    I loved this post. i-am-no-longer-bored.
  19. Profile photo of GParadox
    GParadox Female 18-29
    737 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 12:06 pm
    "He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something." Holy moly, I haven`t laughed so hard... These were brilliant!
  20. Profile photo of emmettyville
    emmettyville Female 40-49
    4348 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 12:23 pm
    Oooo, he smells bad, she thought, as bad as Calvin Klein’s Obsession would smell if it were called Enema and was made from spoiled Spamburgers instead of natural floral fragrances.
  21. Profile photo of FlyYesLandNo
    FlyYesLandNo Male 18-29
    11 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 12:34 pm
    I shall use these as often as possible.
  22. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 12:38 pm
    some were win
  23. Profile photo of duffytoler
    duffytoler Male 40-49
    5195 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 1:40 pm
    Some of those were clever, like:

    18. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

    Only problem with a lot of these is that the teacher doesn`t "get it".
  24. Profile photo of melvinotis
    melvinotis Male 40-49
    29 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 2:06 pm
    Liked this one a lot
  25. Profile photo of SexBobOmb
    SexBobOmb Female 18-29
    62 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 2:22 pm
    "It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall."

    I Hate When This Happens. >_>
  26. Profile photo of AniBlue
    AniBlue Female 18-29
    226 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 2:34 pm
    Some of these were pretty damn epic xD
  27. Profile photo of propagandi
    propagandi Male 40-49
    726 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 2:59 pm
    I hate MEEBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  28. Profile photo of danthew
    danthew Male 18-29
    2122 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 3:21 pm
    Some of these are intentionally very witty, like I`m sure #16 would make sense and probably be quite clever if it was in context.
  29. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 4:07 pm
    McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
  30. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    32786 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 4:16 pm
    Wow, some of those were terrific actually! Like 48 & 49, eh? Geschpooklichkeit indeed!
  31. Profile photo of TheShgn2
    TheShgn2 Male 13-17
    626 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 6:12 pm
    "He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River."
    Love it. :D
  32. Profile photo of premierwondr
    premierwondr Male 18-29
    975 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 6:31 pm
    That had me dying!
  33. Profile photo of danky
    danky Male 18-29
    559 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 6:45 pm
    lots of lol
  34. Profile photo of smigbaafm
    smigbaafm Male 18-29
    648 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 8:02 pm
    these... are similes...

    it`s been a while, but aren`t similes something different from analogies? or are similes a subset of analogies?
  35. Profile photo of mvangild
    mvangild Male 30-39
    527 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 9:02 pm
    I could almost hear Leslie Nielsen reading some of those. Especially the one for the nameless dread. :)
  36. Profile photo of VictoryRider
    VictoryRider Male 40-49
    1461 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 9:19 pm
    Some of those were pretty funny. I think 16 made me laugh the most though.
  37. Profile photo of draino123
    draino123 Male 30-39
    769 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 9:53 pm
    reminds me of naked gun "... and like a midget at a urinal, i was going to have to stay on my toes." frank drebin ftw!!!
  38. Profile photo of Batmanners
    Batmanners Male 18-29
    4006 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 10:20 pm
    Analogy seems correct to me.

    Dog:Puppy/Old Man:Baby

    "The dog was still a puppy, much like the old man on the street corner who goes through the trash, he was once a baby."

    Putting things into perspective:

    A simile would be a comparison "The dog was like a canine baby".

    A metaphor is an analogy that does not use the words LIKE or AS to make the statement.
    "When the dog was very young he was a puppy."

    Hope this helped. I love figures of speech.
  39. Profile photo of Batmanners
    Batmanners Male 18-29
    4006 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 10:21 pm
    To add to my Simile example:
    "The dog was as young as a baby"
  40. Profile photo of YugureKage
    YugureKage Female 18-29
    1205 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 11:25 pm
    17 Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

    I liked this one. :D
  41. Profile photo of YugureKage
    YugureKage Female 18-29
    1205 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 11:25 pm
    And I am an English major, so there :P Some of these were pretty funny
  42. Profile photo of TheWaffle
    TheWaffle Male 18-29
    117 posts
    May 4, 2011 at 11:31 pm
    I`m pretty sure #28 is from the Simpsons or something, talking about a hobo in a fight whose prize is food or something. Maybe the episode where Homer gets the x-ray that shows that his skull is like a natural helmet so he goes into the world of amateur boxing.

    I can`t believe I remember that...
  43. Profile photo of HOBYandy
    HOBYandy Male 18-29
    3060 posts
    May 5, 2011 at 12:50 am
    Batmanners:
    Not quite. A simile simply compares two objects. A metaphor claims that the objects are the same. Your description wouldn`t be correct for a statement such as "He was faster than a speeding bullet," which is a simile, even though it does not use LIKE or AS.
  44. Profile photo of Vimto
    Vimto Male 40-49
    2853 posts
    May 5, 2011 at 6:46 am
    A few of these are some nice variations on some of Douglas Adams` work.
  45. Profile photo of Vimto
    Vimto Male 40-49
    2853 posts
    May 5, 2011 at 9:25 am
    “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don`t.”

    DNA - Hitch-Hikers Guide.
  46. Profile photo of clockwork208
    clockwork208 Male 30-39
    835 posts
    May 5, 2011 at 6:28 pm
    Jesus, does nobody remember these at all?
  47. Profile photo of jinxiejae
    jinxiejae Female 30-39
    2927 posts
    May 5, 2011 at 11:33 pm
    there was one that i heard a long time ago that i really liked. "trouble followed her like the vapors of a cheap perfume."

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