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The Jizzinator – Sperm Collection Machine


None of the work and all of the pleasure! The unit runs about $2800. Link in the credits, with the benefits in “Specs”

[Total: 24    Average: 4.1/5]
50 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 19996
Rating: 4.1
Category: Science
Date: 04/27/11 07:32 AM

50 Responses to The Jizzinator – Sperm Collection Machine

  1. Profile photo of kitteh9lives
    kitteh9lives Female 70 & Over
    8044 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 7:29 am
    Link: The Jizzinator - Sperm Collection Machine - None of the work and all of the pleasure! The unit runs about $2800. Link in the credits, with the benefits in `Specs`
  2. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18829 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 7:34 am
    Holy hell.
  3. Profile photo of sbeelz
    sbeelz Male 30-39
    2868 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 7:41 am
    No.
  4. Profile photo of collegebound
    collegebound Male 18-29
    3745 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 7:42 am
    LOL...

    id hit it...
  5. Profile photo of RecycleElf
    RecycleElf Male 18-29
    3621 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 7:46 am
    it says it cures premature ejaculation...

    oh boy!
  6. Profile photo of madest
    madest Male 40-49
    7378 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 7:47 am
    Wow that looks like fun.
  7. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10441 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 8:02 am
    I bet the display shows porn.

    I want to try it.
  8. Profile photo of Oystah
    Oystah Female 40-49
    4032 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 8:03 am
    Granted I don`t have a penis, but I don`t know if I`d be willing to stick it in a machine if I had one. :()
  9. Profile photo of collegebound
    collegebound Male 18-29
    3745 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 8:07 am
    on second thought...i dont think i would want to try this...what if someone too small used it and it was never properly cleaned?

    ...ugh...
  10. Profile photo of MCMXCIII
    MCMXCIII Male 18-29
    356 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 8:09 am
    I want to try it, on the condition that I`m the first one to use it though.
  11. Profile photo of McGovern1981
    McGovern1981 Male 30-39
    14268 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 8:09 am
    Where do ya put the quarters??
  12. Profile photo of AngryYouth
    AngryYouth Male 18-29
    734 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 8:12 am
    I`d give it a go.
  13. Profile photo of McGovern1981
    McGovern1981 Male 30-39
    14268 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 8:21 am
    OoHhhhh!!! AHHHHH!!! oh ya ya ya!! Woot I just beat it!! Oh it`s not an arcade game?!?!?! Meh still beat it.
  14. Profile photo of zombunny
    zombunny Female 18-29
    2525 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 8:22 am
    Well I guess this would be a better thing to have in sperm banks instead of crusty porn mags from the 80s.
  15. Profile photo of FatGamerGuy
    FatGamerGuy Male 30-39
    5 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 8:25 am
    What they don`t tell you is that is will also perform gender reassignment.
  16. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36648 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 8:26 am

    This is located next to the internet access computers at the library.
  17. Profile photo of Justin9235
    Justin9235 Male 18-29
    1582 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 8:56 am
    Yes!
  18. Profile photo of fivezones
    fivezones Male 40-49
    1021 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 8:57 am
    When I used to put a quarter in a Pac-Man machine it would <GULP>

    I guess this machine does the same thing.
  19. Profile photo of ieatbunnies
    ieatbunnies Male 30-39
    880 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 9:00 am
    I would definitely use one. Ive always wanted a nice tall glass of semen...
  20. Profile photo of comrade_b
    comrade_b Male 18-29
    295 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 9:22 am
    DON`T TOUCH IT YOU IDIOT! now her finger has herpes.
  21. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 9:44 am
    Needs a Fleshlight adapter and it`s golden!
  22. Profile photo of erick0619
    erick0619 Male 18-29
    148 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 9:45 am
    i want one
  23. Profile photo of skytz1337
    skytz1337 Male 18-29
    687 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 10:27 am
    dosent a "paid lady" cost less than that?
  24. Profile photo of Inter237
    Inter237 Male 18-29
    2441 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 11:03 am
    Looks like it would stink to clean and I wouldn`t want my penis in there after any man even if cleaned
  25. Profile photo of collegebound
    collegebound Male 18-29
    3745 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 11:18 am
    Gerry: +500 internetz to you sir for a nice post crossover
  26. Profile photo of a1butcher
    a1butcher Male 40-49
    4809 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 11:45 am
    For some reason it reminded me of this old 80s game character!



  27. Profile photo of blounsb999
    blounsb999 Male 40-49
    183 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 11:57 am
    Is this how you harvest for the recipe book?
  28. Profile photo of RyanHake
    RyanHake Male 18-29
    2690 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 12:08 pm
    I don`t know if I could trust my man piece inside a machine like that..
  29. Profile photo of Demynted
    Demynted Male 30-39
    78 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 12:20 pm
    I almost ordered one of these...then I remembered that I have a wife for this kind of thing. Well that and sandwiches.
  30. Profile photo of flingspoo
    flingspoo Female 18-29
    999 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 1:34 pm
    What the hell would posses a person to touch that thing?????
    Betcha it`s squishy though :-D
  31. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 1:46 pm
    It looks like an alien
  32. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 2:01 pm
    I can see this in every corner of the United States
  33. Profile photo of ledzeppeloyd
    ledzeppeloyd Male 18-29
    2385 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 2:04 pm
    o japan
  34. Profile photo of architrex
    architrex Male 18-29
    37 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 2:12 pm
    FYI, it is Chinese.
  35. Profile photo of GreyYes
    GreyYes Female 18-29
    418 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 5:03 pm
    DUDE DONT STICK YOUR FINGER IN THERE D:
  36. Profile photo of Mr_Sir
    Mr_Sir Male 18-29
    576 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 5:18 pm
    That actually gave me a little bit of chubb

    8===D
  37. Profile photo of carmium
    carmium Female 50-59
    6381 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 7:35 pm
    Gawd, they`re probably prying teenage boys off that thing every few minutes.
  38. Profile photo of Krowley
    Krowley Male 30-39
    696 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 9:23 pm
    .....

    If you had money like that, if 2800 wasn`t nothin to you...

    ... how could you not buy this???

    Hell, just for the conversation.
  39. Profile photo of Rheaonon
    Rheaonon Male 18-29
    363 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 9:24 pm
    I`ll take one.... >.> wat?
  40. Profile photo of metalhead516
    metalhead516 Male 18-29
    57 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 10:10 pm
    I was thinking about inventing something like that but never did anything about it. They need to invent something smaller that you can hide easily. Where do you put that big machine when you are not using it? What if you have company over? I can`t believe someone actually went and had this made. Nice!
  41. Profile photo of I-IS-BORED
    I-IS-BORED Male 18-29
    2419 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 10:19 pm
    without a sandwich dispenser your woman replacer is useless to me

    also, why is it one fixed height (among other dimensions...)?
  42. Profile photo of Katelyn92
    Katelyn92 Female 18-29
    63 posts
    April 27, 2011 at 11:25 pm
    Why would she touch it....?
  43. Profile photo of bridog6996
    bridog6996 Male 18-29
    571 posts
    April 28, 2011 at 12:41 am
    Considering what it`s used for, I would NOT go sticking my finger in that thing.
  44. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 28, 2011 at 7:23 am
    "Why would she touch it....?"
    Did you REALLY have to ask?

    To see how strong the competition is. If it feels real, then...
  45. Profile photo of meepmaker
    meepmaker Male 30-39
    6694 posts
    April 28, 2011 at 9:11 am
    Does it do laundry ?
  46. Profile photo of sacramantic
    sacramantic Male 30-39
    159 posts
    April 28, 2011 at 12:33 pm
    ummm it`s got a little hole...to small for me!!
  47. Profile photo of MissIndepend
    MissIndepend Female 30-39
    75 posts
    April 28, 2011 at 2:54 pm
    Any1 noticed how small the whole on that ting is... no wonder its a Chinese machine. Her finger almost stuck in there
  48. Profile photo of Joeraccoon
    Joeraccoon Male 18-29
    191 posts
    April 28, 2011 at 2:57 pm
    Masturbation is the only exercise i get all day, and now i dont even have to do that anymore? No wonder we are all getting fat
  49. Profile photo of Kiaran123
    Kiaran123 Male 30-39
    114 posts
    April 28, 2011 at 3:39 pm
    if "a friend of mine" was looking for one these machines, were might he purchase one?
  50. Profile photo of PtblDuffy
    PtblDuffy Male 18-29
    163 posts
    April 28, 2011 at 4:03 pm
    nice. good to know somewhere in the world this machine is in somebody`s house.... and they use it....

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