How To Ask For Oral Sex [Pic]

Submitted by: kitteh9lives 6 years ago in Funny

Hey, I don"t make the rules....I just swallow them.
There are 87 comments:
Female 298
I don`t like that the Women`s advice was cut off :\ ... What fun is that?
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Female 212
Lol. Girls seriously have a problem giving oral? Doesn`t bother me ({) Guess my guy is lucky?
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Male 2,220
I find tap-tap-tap on the forehead usually does the trick.
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Female 673
Haha, I don`t need to be asked. I HATE asking for oral, though. I some how feel selfish for asking and scared of getting rejected. Which has happened, so this chart is a lie! :-P
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Female 60
samidoll.
`cause my vagina doesn`t have tastebuds....
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Female 614
the few girls i have talked to that have said they don`t do oral for their guy because it is `gross`... seriously? what`s so gross about it? if you`re going to let that in your body you better be prepared to put it in your mouth too.
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Male 2,402
@theking536 replied:
My wife has never performed oral on me. I Have to on her or nothing else will happen. I can relate to this.

handys003:
Sorry to hear that. Seems you would be better off divorced with a porn video and a bottle of KY jelly. Better yet just pay for a call girl.
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Female 2,525
Is this how most relationships work? How depressing. I would kill myself if my sex life was that pathetic.
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Female 99
Do: Make him eat pineapple first. Makes it sweeet!
I think it has more to do with what kind of lover you are. If you are selfish - of course you won`t like doing it. But if you get off from your partners pleasure (as I do) then what`s not to like?
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Male 69
My wife has never performed oral on me. I Have to on her or nothing else will happen. I can relate to this.
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Female 1,652
LMAO @ the last DON`T on the right.
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Male 2,748
So, true... I love going down on girls :P I find it enjoyable lol
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Male 451
Too true, too true.
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Male 901
Do: Get her drunk.
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Male 14,334
My seamen tastes like chocolate... true story <_< >_>
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Male 771
yeah i suppose it doesnt matter how a girl asks when the answer is always going to be no
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Male 6,694
Oh so true.
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Male 130
@ Dixy
Why am I 40 before I hear of this strategy?
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Female 2,674
I`m a big fan of trading a back rub for a nice beej. I always get the back rub first, and I make it known that the quality of my rub will be directly reflected in the quality of his rub.
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Male 483
LMMFAO @ Tubby12370
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Male 483
Lol what the heck`s up with Red Lobster? I took a chick there and she broke up with me the next day. Someone explain?
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Male 214
@haveheart
<3 you...
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Male 718
LOL i agree with Dk4k.. i really needed to know about how many fingers you like in your butt Selous. i REALLY enjoyed that LOL.. /sigh
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Female 420
How sad if a relationship consists of one person begging the other to do something which most people would enjoy, I don`t know who i`d be more ashamed of if this was necessary in my house.
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Female 1,743
Never been a fan.

Sue me.
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Male 575
Selous .... thank you for sharing that aspect of your life its something I desperately wanted to know.
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Male 101
stupid post is stupid.
If you pick up a girl for 1 time, it`s usually no issue since she`s already a free hooker in your eyes.
If you have a steady relationship if she doesn`t blowjob you, well, if you want it and give it to her, good luck with staying together.

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Male 1,197
i dont have to "ask" for oral, i just give the missus head a gental push in that direction ... generally get a finger in the butt also ... or two :D
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Male 2,402

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Male 2,419
that first one implies there`s at least 2 weeks between each time...
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Male 2,005
oh it`s this again
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Male 1,164
S`ok Angilion, I agree with your stance on the matter.

When I was little, I often asked my parents for a backscratch. I was never expected to give anything in return; it was just an act of generosity. Oral, in my opinion, is the same.
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Male 3,894
@BigWaFuu- I think he meant that skilled lovers allow the situation to flow naturally, and if oral happens, it happens. And if it doesn`t, then you`re probably both engaging in something else that happened in the heat of the moment and aren`t sparing a whole lot of thought to what ELSE you would like to do.

I think that the whole "asking" situation is a sign that lovers aren`t much in sync with one another, either from the relationship losing its spark, or the pair being unfamiliar with one another in bed.
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Male 1,162
>>you`re with the wrong person if asking is part of sex.<<

Well excuse the rest of us for not raping our wives.
"Here yew goh hunneh!! SUCK ON EEHT!!!! Hurr!"
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Male 1,365
Ask? you`re with the wrong person if asking is part of sex. Second, prostitutes take gifts to give you oral,..are the subjects of this lifechanging report Whores? Curious,... gifts should be given without expectation of return, otherwise they are not gifts but payment for services rendered.
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Male 12,365
[quote]I personally think people should get something out of making their partner feel good, it doesn`t all have to be "mutual" (in the traditional sense) to be fun, right?[/quote]

I`ve been vigorously flamed every time I`ve stated that view on IAB.

Apparently many people here think that the only right way for sex within a relationship is rigorously controlled trading of sex acts as a commodity, regardless of what the people involved actually want.
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Male 511
Es roto...
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Male 373
@Isobar
`Do: Give more then she does.`

True for more than just oral.
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Male 1,461
Oral sex is nice both ways. As long, as has been mentioned, everything is clean. In most cases though, don`t expect any if you yourself are someone who isn`t willing to give any.
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Female 114
@Isobar

Genius, you already have this all figured out. Good job, you`re way ahead of about 95% of the male population.
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Female 407
hahah i liked this :) however, i really like giving head. i just dont really like getting it. i dont know.
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Female 1,963
Sigh at the generalizations. I think the best way for my fiance to get me to go down on him is having just taken a shower, then initiating the sexy times. I enjoy giving head as long as the recipient is all fresh and clean. And having a completely blocked nose does make it quite uncomfortable and difficult, so I would have to say no if I had a cold.
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Male 293
I think I have an easier idea for men.

Do: Shower and somewhat groom.
Do: Give more then she does.
Do: Don`t always ask for it, just get her turned on and whip it out. This one really depends on your girl and her mood, but a lot of the times they love the dominating aspect of it.
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Female 803
The only one that would make me want to do it more is if he attached said present to his penis. I mean, come on. That`s just pure awesomeness.
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Female 95
@FemBot, I`m not a lesbian because I hate men lol, i`m just not sexually attracted to men. Penis`s don`t gross me out, I just don`t want someone who has one. But I think I understand your guys` explanations :) but I agree that if you can`t breathe you`re probably doing it wrong hahaha...

@Angmon, I guess since oral is a huge part of lesbian sex, I have a hard time seeing it as a crazy fetish like act that someone would be against lol. I personally think people should get something out of making their partner feel good, it doesn`t all have to be "mutual" (in the traditional sense) to be fun, right?
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Male 3,915
lol...she isn`t getting any unless she is right out of the shower....poo...if she asked me to do the same...i`d do it!
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Male 332
if you have to do all these "do`s" then you should find a new girl
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Male 842
@tiggerwitch o rly? :3
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Male 2,436
DON`T: Get her a ring for the third finger of her left hand. She will never, ever do it again.
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Female 277
Oral is better than real sex in the way that it`s pretty hard for an average guy to completely suck at it.
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Male 2,868
@sraac88- It`s not weird if you`ve never been with a girl who is good at it.
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Female 587
It`s not that serious. If anything, I`m the one who asks him if he wants head.
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Male 1,193
lol @ keegan
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Male 228
DO: Explain that if she doesn`t do it, someone else will....
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Female 838
I don`t really get his. I love giving/receiving oral. I think most of the girls I know do too. I don`t think I`ve ever had to be asked by my guy
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Female 152
Alternatively: Both of you do it for the other one fairly often and stop making such a big deal over it. Sheesh.
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Female 193
Hey, I would give head for a dinner at Red Lobster. I love Red Lobster, but I am getting Lobster.
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Male 40
haha i do all the don`ts but none of the do`s and still get it, my chicka rocks
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Male 1,153
This is if you plan on asking before engaging in it
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Male 1,243
I just ask and it happens, no muss no fuss!
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Male 314
seems to be broken when using chrome
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Male 25,416
Men are keen to make the effort. We know that if we do it, were getting it in return.
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Female 269
Humorous, but not necessarily accurate. Some guys are great to go down on, others you wouldn`t touch with a ten foot pole. Likewise, some guys love going down on women, others you practically have to bribe.
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Male 27
That`s the nice part of being brazilian. There`s no such BS about sex here. Never had to ask once =)
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Male 39
oh and i like women so dont get the wrong idea :)
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Male 39
....oral sex is one thing that i like giving and not so much getting. is that wierd?
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Male 292
broken, for me at least
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Male 12,365
[quote]I`m sure you can sympathize with most woman`s aversion to having their face that close to something that ugly looking, never mind sucking on it for prolonged periods. Also male cum can taste reeeeaaaallllyy nasty.[/quote]

The same could be said for cunnilingus, which involves more taste and often more hair in your face (a practical reason for women shaving off pubic hair). Both appearance and taste are highly subjective.

Before anyone trundles out the "you`re a man therefore your opinions don`t count", bear in mind that I`m bisexual and I`m speaking from personal experience. I think both types of genitals are often beautiful and I like both general tastes, although that depends a great deal on how clean the person is and a surprising amount on what they`ve eaten recently.
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Male 12,365
[quote]Can a girl explain to me why it`s difficult to get a woman to perform oral sex on a man? (fyi, i`m a lesbian lol)[/quote]

Unsurprisingly, it varies wildly from person to person, right the way from "Yeah, I love doing that!" to "I`d rather eat old toenail clippings!".

Same goes for a lot of sexual activities, regardless of sex and sexual orientation.

[quote]Because its nearly impossible to breathe, unless you have absolutely no gag reflex its very unpleasant (constantly gagging), throat feels sort of raw afterward, taste (depending), etc[/quote]

In the immortal words of the internet: you`re doing it wrong.
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Male 464
I dont usually complain, but Im getting really bored of reposts. I come here to see things I havent seen before!
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Female 262
@ hiptothemax4 - if you`re a lesbian, then I`m sure you can sympathize with most woman`s aversion to having their face that close to something that ugly looking, never mind sucking on it for prolonged periods. Also male cum can taste reeeeaaaallllyy nasty.
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Female 2
Note: Some women say no way too much, some men ask way too much. If you love your guy then you should have no problem doing it fairly often (as long as he holds up his end of the bargain ;3)
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Female 2
@hiptothemax4

Because its nearly impossible to breathe, unless you have absolutely no gag reflex its very unpleasant (constantly gagging), throat feels sort of raw afterward, taste (depending), etc
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Female 843
I like when my husband phrases it in "disgusting" ways. I think it`s pretty funny and is quite persuasive at times.

And why not Red Lobster?
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Male 2,619
The handgun to the temple approach always work for me
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Male 199
It should say "Asking for oral sex from your WIFE", I`ve never had that much trouble getting oral. Just getting her hot and wet, pulling down my pants and getting it close to her face is well. I don`t know the kind of bitchy women wouldn`t want to please their man.
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Male 975
Some girls really like giving head, some are drating annoying about it.
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Male 2,796
I`ve never had to ask... it is a priviledge for women to get down on this.
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Female 95
is it really that hard to get a girl to give head?... Can a girl explain to me why it`s difficult to get a woman to perform oral sex on a man? (fyi, i`m a lesbian lol)
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Male 552
Heeeeey, wait a minuuuuuute...
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Male 10,440
Life is unfair.
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Male 90
Pretty much.
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Male 81
@tubby12370`s comment.
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Male 32
Don`t: Be surprised when I hide skittles in your labia.
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Male 351
you`d think this is true eh?

not so fortunately unless you fail as a man.
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Male 1,440
I bet you do.
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Female 8,044
Link: How To Ask For Oral Sex [Pic] [Rate Link] - Hey, I don`t make the rules....I just swallow them.
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