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87 Comments - View/Add
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Rating: 3.5
Category: Funny
Date: 04/10/11 10:00 AM

87 Responses to How To Ask For Oral Sex [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of kitteh9lives
    kitteh9lives Female 70 & Over
    8044 posts
    April 9, 2011 at 7:39 am
    Link: How To Ask For Oral Sex - Hey, I don`t make the rules....I just swallow them.
  2. Profile photo of Tubby12370
    Tubby12370 Male 18-29
    1440 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:04 am
    I bet you do.
  3. Profile photo of kralmir
    kralmir Male 18-29
    351 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:09 am
    you`d think this is true eh?

    not so fortunately unless you fail as a man.
  4. Profile photo of ragebot
    ragebot Male 18-29
    32 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:10 am
    Don`t: Be surprised when I hide skittles in your labia.
  5. Profile photo of Ujelly
    Ujelly Male 30-39
    81 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:10 am
    @tubby12370`s comment.
  6. Profile photo of Blaackhalo
    Blaackhalo Male 30-39
    90 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:11 am
    Pretty much.
  7. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10441 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:16 am
    Life is unfair.
  8. Profile photo of TheTumor
    TheTumor Male 18-29
    552 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:17 am
    Heeeeey, wait a minuuuuuute...
  9. Profile photo of hiptothemax4
    hiptothemax4 Female 18-29
    95 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:26 am
    is it really that hard to get a girl to give head?... Can a girl explain to me why it`s difficult to get a woman to perform oral sex on a man? (fyi, i`m a lesbian lol)
  10. Profile photo of splurbyburbl
    splurbyburbl Male 30-39
    2798 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:35 am
    I`ve never had to ask... it is a priviledge for women to get down on this.
  11. Profile photo of premierwondr
    premierwondr Male 18-29
    975 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:43 am
    Some girls really like giving head, some are drating annoying about it.
  12. Profile photo of Afugy
    Afugy Male 30-39
    199 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:44 am
    It should say "Asking for oral sex from your WIFE", I`ve never had that much trouble getting oral. Just getting her hot and wet, pulling down my pants and getting it close to her face is well. I don`t know the kind of bitchy women wouldn`t want to please their man.
  13. Profile photo of IRockYeah
    IRockYeah Male 40-49
    2619 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:48 am
    The handgun to the temple approach always work for me
  14. Profile photo of sidewyz8
    sidewyz8 Female 18-29
    843 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:51 am
    I like when my husband phrases it in "disgusting" ways. I think it`s pretty funny and is quite persuasive at times.

    And why not Red Lobster?
  15. Profile photo of zomglol
    zomglol Female 13-17
    2 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:51 am
    @hiptothemax4

    Because its nearly impossible to breathe, unless you have absolutely no gag reflex its very unpleasant (constantly gagging), throat feels sort of raw afterward, taste (depending), etc
  16. Profile photo of zomglol
    zomglol Female 13-17
    2 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:53 am
    Note: Some women say no way too much, some men ask way too much. If you love your guy then you should have no problem doing it fairly often (as long as he holds up his end of the bargain ;3)
  17. Profile photo of FemBot
    FemBot Female 18-29
    262 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:55 am
    @ hiptothemax4 - if you`re a lesbian, then I`m sure you can sympathize with most woman`s aversion to having their face that close to something that ugly looking, never mind sucking on it for prolonged periods. Also male cum can taste reeeeaaaallllyy nasty.
  18. Profile photo of Byfield
    Byfield Male 18-29
    464 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 11:33 am
    I dont usually complain, but Im getting really bored of reposts. I come here to see things I havent seen before!
  19. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 11:35 am
    Can a girl explain to me why it`s difficult to get a woman to perform oral sex on a man? (fyi, i`m a lesbian lol)

    Unsurprisingly, it varies wildly from person to person, right the way from "Yeah, I love doing that!" to "I`d rather eat old toenail clippings!".

    Same goes for a lot of sexual activities, regardless of sex and sexual orientation.

    Because its nearly impossible to breathe, unless you have absolutely no gag reflex its very unpleasant (constantly gagging), throat feels sort of raw afterward, taste (depending), etc

    In the immortal words of the internet: you`re doing it wrong.
  20. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 11:44 am
    I`m sure you can sympathize with most woman`s aversion to having their face that close to something that ugly looking, never mind sucking on it for prolonged periods. Also male cum can taste reeeeaaaallllyy nasty.

    The same could be said for cunnilingus, which involves more taste and often more hair in your face (a practical reason for women shaving off pubic hair). Both appearance and taste are highly subjective.

    Before anyone trundles out the "you`re a man therefore your opinions don`t count", bear in mind that I`m bisexual and I`m speaking from personal experience. I think both types of genitals are often beautiful and I like both general tastes, although that depends a great deal on how clean the person is and a surprising amount on what they`ve eaten recently.
  21. Profile photo of zlatan
    zlatan Male 18-29
    292 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 11:45 am
    broken, for me at least
  22. Profile photo of sraac88
    sraac88 Male 18-29
    39 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 11:56 am
    ....oral sex is one thing that i like giving and not so much getting. is that wierd?
  23. Profile photo of sraac88
    sraac88 Male 18-29
    39 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 11:57 am
    oh and i like women so dont get the wrong idea :)
  24. Profile photo of Dm1
    Dm1 Male 18-29
    27 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 11:59 am
    That`s the nice part of being brazilian. There`s no such BS about sex here. Never had to ask once =)
  25. Profile photo of Lillim
    Lillim Female 30-39
    269 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 12:08 pm
    Humorous, but not necessarily accurate. Some guys are great to go down on, others you wouldn`t touch with a ten foot pole. Likewise, some guys love going down on women, others you practically have to bribe.
  26. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 12:24 pm
    Men are keen to make the effort. We know that if we do it, were getting it in return.
  27. Profile photo of jib
    jib Male 18-29
    314 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm
    seems to be broken when using chrome
  28. Profile photo of spanerbulb
    spanerbulb Male 30-39
    1244 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 1:09 pm
    I just ask and it happens, no muss no fuss!
  29. Profile photo of steve41high
    steve41high Male 18-29
    1153 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 1:10 pm
    This is if you plan on asking before engaging in it
  30. Profile photo of swebb
    swebb Male 30-39
    40 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 1:38 pm
    haha i do all the don`ts but none of the do`s and still get it, my chicka rocks
  31. Profile photo of mar95789
    mar95789 Female 18-29
    193 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 1:47 pm
    Hey, I would give head for a dinner at Red Lobster. I love Red Lobster, but I am getting Lobster.
  32. Profile photo of Riftsong
    Riftsong Female 18-29
    152 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 1:55 pm
    Alternatively: Both of you do it for the other one fairly often and stop making such a big deal over it. Sheesh.
  33. Profile photo of pixiechick81
    pixiechick81 Female 30-39
    838 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 2:16 pm
    I don`t really get his. I love giving/receiving oral. I think most of the girls I know do too. I don`t think I`ve ever had to be asked by my guy
  34. Profile photo of Keegan31
    Keegan31 Male 18-29
    228 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 2:20 pm
    DO: Explain that if she doesn`t do it, someone else will....
  35. Profile photo of gatorade777
    gatorade777 Male 18-29
    1194 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 2:46 pm
    lol @ keegan
  36. Profile photo of tiggerwitch1
    tiggerwitch1 Female 18-29
    587 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 2:46 pm
    It`s not that serious. If anything, I`m the one who asks him if he wants head.
  37. Profile photo of sbeelz
    sbeelz Male 30-39
    2868 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 2:46 pm
    @sraac88- It`s not weird if you`ve never been with a girl who is good at it.
  38. Profile photo of SherbertFizz
    SherbertFizz Female 18-29
    277 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 3:39 pm
    Oral is better than real sex in the way that it`s pretty hard for an average guy to completely suck at it.
  39. Profile photo of mykunter
    mykunter Male 40-49
    2424 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 3:44 pm
    DON`T: Get her a ring for the third finger of her left hand. She will never, ever do it again.
  40. Profile photo of Djer
    Djer Male 18-29
    842 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 3:56 pm
    @tiggerwitch o rly? :3
  41. Profile photo of qquuaacckk
    qquuaacckk Male 18-29
    332 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 4:35 pm
    if you have to do all these "do`s" then you should find a new girl
  42. Profile photo of idiotfilter
    idiotfilter Male 18-29
    3916 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 4:48 pm
    lol...she isn`t getting any unless she is right out of the shower....poo...if she asked me to do the same...i`d do it!
  43. Profile photo of hiptothemax4
    hiptothemax4 Female 18-29
    95 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 5:05 pm
    @FemBot, I`m not a lesbian because I hate men lol, i`m just not sexually attracted to men. Penis`s don`t gross me out, I just don`t want someone who has one. But I think I understand your guys` explanations :) but I agree that if you can`t breathe you`re probably doing it wrong hahaha...

    @Angmon, I guess since oral is a huge part of lesbian sex, I have a hard time seeing it as a crazy fetish like act that someone would be against lol. I personally think people should get something out of making their partner feel good, it doesn`t all have to be "mutual" (in the traditional sense) to be fun, right?
  44. Profile photo of kittehdee29
    kittehdee29 Female 18-29
    803 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 5:11 pm
    The only one that would make me want to do it more is if he attached said present to his penis. I mean, come on. That`s just pure awesomeness.
  45. Profile photo of Isobar
    Isobar Male 18-29
    293 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 5:42 pm
    I think I have an easier idea for men.

    Do: Shower and somewhat groom.
    Do: Give more then she does.
    Do: Don`t always ask for it, just get her turned on and whip it out. This one really depends on your girl and her mood, but a lot of the times they love the dominating aspect of it.
  46. Profile photo of moefreak
    moefreak Female 18-29
    1963 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 5:50 pm
    Sigh at the generalizations. I think the best way for my fiance to get me to go down on him is having just taken a shower, then initiating the sexy times. I enjoy giving head as long as the recipient is all fresh and clean. And having a completely blocked nose does make it quite uncomfortable and difficult, so I would have to say no if I had a cold.
  47. Profile photo of haveheart
    haveheart Female 18-29
    407 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 5:55 pm
    hahah i liked this :) however, i really like giving head. i just dont really like getting it. i dont know.
  48. Profile photo of Kaylen226
    Kaylen226 Female 18-29
    114 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 6:00 pm
    @Isobar

    Genius, you already have this all figured out. Good job, you`re way ahead of about 95% of the male population.
  49. Profile photo of VictoryRider
    VictoryRider Male 40-49
    1461 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 6:02 pm
    Oral sex is nice both ways. As long, as has been mentioned, everything is clean. In most cases though, don`t expect any if you yourself are someone who isn`t willing to give any.
  50. Profile photo of dirtysteve00
    dirtysteve00 Male 30-39
    373 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 6:15 pm
    @Isobar
    `Do: Give more then she does.`

    True for more than just oral.
  51. Profile photo of Trojan
    Trojan Male 18-29
    511 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 6:28 pm
    Es roto...
  52. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 6:45 pm
    I personally think people should get something out of making their partner feel good, it doesn`t all have to be "mutual" (in the traditional sense) to be fun, right?

    I`ve been vigorously flamed every time I`ve stated that view on IAB.

    Apparently many people here think that the only right way for sex within a relationship is rigorously controlled trading of sex acts as a commodity, regardless of what the people involved actually want.
  53. Profile photo of Painter13
    Painter13 Male 40-49
    1366 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 7:09 pm
    Ask? you`re with the wrong person if asking is part of sex. Second, prostitutes take gifts to give you oral,..are the subjects of this lifechanging report Whores? Curious,... gifts should be given without expectation of return, otherwise they are not gifts but payment for services rendered.
  54. Profile photo of BigWaFuu
    BigWaFuu Male 18-29
    1163 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 8:33 pm
    >>you`re with the wrong person if asking is part of sex.<<

    Well excuse the rest of us for not raping our wives.
    "Here yew goh hunneh!! SUCK ON EEHT!!!! Hurr!"
  55. Profile photo of DrProfessor
    DrProfessor Male 18-29
    3894 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 9:05 pm
    @BigWaFuu- I think he meant that skilled lovers allow the situation to flow naturally, and if oral happens, it happens. And if it doesn`t, then you`re probably both engaging in something else that happened in the heat of the moment and aren`t sparing a whole lot of thought to what ELSE you would like to do.

    I think that the whole "asking" situation is a sign that lovers aren`t much in sync with one another, either from the relationship losing its spark, or the pair being unfamiliar with one another in bed.
  56. Profile photo of Linkenberger
    Linkenberger Male 18-29
    1164 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 9:09 pm
    S`ok Angilion, I agree with your stance on the matter.

    When I was little, I often asked my parents for a backscratch. I was never expected to give anything in return; it was just an act of generosity. Oral, in my opinion, is the same.
  57. Profile photo of kribbe
    kribbe Male 18-29
    2006 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 9:57 pm
    oh it`s this again
  58. Profile photo of I-IS-BORED
    I-IS-BORED Male 18-29
    2419 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 10:45 pm
    that first one implies there`s at least 2 weeks between each time...
  59. Profile photo of handys003
    handys003 Male 50-59
    2402 posts
    April 10, 2011 at 11:08 pm

  60. Profile photo of Selous
    Selous Male 30-39
    1197 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 12:19 am
    i dont have to "ask" for oral, i just give the missus head a gental push in that direction ... generally get a finger in the butt also ... or two :D
  61. Profile photo of asnodeus
    asnodeus Male 18-29
    101 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 2:27 am
    stupid post is stupid.
    If you pick up a girl for 1 time, it`s usually no issue since she`s already a free hooker in your eyes.
    If you have a steady relationship if she doesn`t blowjob you, well, if you want it and give it to her, good luck with staying together.

  62. Profile photo of Dr4k
    Dr4k Male 18-29
    575 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 4:37 am
    Selous .... thank you for sharing that aspect of your life its something I desperately wanted to know.
  63. Profile photo of nubblins
    nubblins Female 18-29
    1743 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 5:11 am
    Never been a fan.

    Sue me.
  64. Profile photo of pip-pip666
    pip-pip666 Female 18-29
    420 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 5:12 am
    How sad if a relationship consists of one person begging the other to do something which most people would enjoy, I don`t know who i`d be more ashamed of if this was necessary in my house.
  65. Profile photo of Fleaman1797
    Fleaman1797 Male 18-29
    718 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 5:56 am
    LOL i agree with Dk4k.. i really needed to know about how many fingers you like in your butt Selous. i REALLY enjoyed that LOL.. /sigh
  66. Profile photo of WorstCaseOnt
    WorstCaseOnt Male 30-39
    214 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 6:19 am
    @haveheart
    <3 you...
  67. Profile photo of TwoEyezBlind
    TwoEyezBlind Male 18-29
    483 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 7:15 am
    Lol what the heck`s up with Red Lobster? I took a chick there and she broke up with me the next day. Someone explain?
  68. Profile photo of TwoEyezBlind
    TwoEyezBlind Male 18-29
    483 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 7:21 am
    LMMFAO @ Tubby12370
  69. Profile photo of DixxyRarr
    DixxyRarr Female 18-29
    2674 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 7:58 am
    I`m a big fan of trading a back rub for a nice beej. I always get the back rub first, and I make it known that the quality of my rub will be directly reflected in the quality of his rub.
  70. Profile photo of Axejst
    Axejst Male 30-39
    130 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 8:03 am
    @ Dixy
    Why am I 40 before I hear of this strategy?
  71. Profile photo of meepmaker
    meepmaker Male 30-39
    6694 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 8:23 am
    Oh so true.
  72. Profile photo of YANKmyDOODLE
    YANKmyDOODLE Male 30-39
    771 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 8:41 am
    yeah i suppose it doesnt matter how a girl asks when the answer is always going to be no
  73. Profile photo of McGovern1981
    McGovern1981 Male 30-39
    14268 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 8:50 am
    My seamen tastes like chocolate... true story <_< >_>
  74. Profile photo of megavidiot
    megavidiot Male 30-39
    901 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 8:50 am
    Do: Get her drunk.
  75. Profile photo of DGbME
    DGbME Male 40-49
    451 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 8:55 am
    Too true, too true.
  76. Profile photo of DarkFerret
    DarkFerret Male 18-29
    2749 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 8:59 am
    So, true... I love going down on girls :P I find it enjoyable lol
  77. Profile photo of Mweebles
    Mweebles Female 18-29
    1653 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 8:59 am
    LMAO @ the last DON`T on the right.
  78. Profile photo of tleking536
    tleking536 Male 30-39
    69 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 9:06 am
    My wife has never performed oral on me. I Have to on her or nothing else will happen. I can relate to this.
  79. Profile photo of dreaco
    dreaco Female 18-29
    99 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 9:07 am
    Do: Make him eat pineapple first. Makes it sweeet!
    I think it has more to do with what kind of lover you are. If you are selfish - of course you won`t like doing it. But if you get off from your partners pleasure (as I do) then what`s not to like?
  80. Profile photo of zombunny
    zombunny Female 18-29
    2525 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 10:10 am
    Is this how most relationships work? How depressing. I would kill myself if my sex life was that pathetic.
  81. Profile photo of handys003
    handys003 Male 50-59
    2402 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 5:31 pm
    @theking536 replied:
    My wife has never performed oral on me. I Have to on her or nothing else will happen. I can relate to this.

    handys003:
    Sorry to hear that. Seems you would be better off divorced with a porn video and a bottle of KY jelly. Better yet just pay for a call girl.
  82. Profile photo of samidoll
    samidoll Female 18-29
    615 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 6:37 pm
    the few girls i have talked to that have said they don`t do oral for their guy because it is `gross`... seriously? what`s so gross about it? if you`re going to let that in your body you better be prepared to put it in your mouth too.
  83. Profile photo of noni2ancy
    noni2ancy Female 18-29
    60 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 8:07 pm
    samidoll.
    `cause my vagina doesn`t have tastebuds....
  84. Profile photo of limphotdog
    limphotdog Female 18-29
    673 posts
    April 11, 2011 at 9:04 pm
    Haha, I don`t need to be asked. I HATE asking for oral, though. I some how feel selfish for asking and scared of getting rejected. Which has happened, so this chart is a lie! :-P
  85. Profile photo of MattPrince
    MattPrince Male 40-49
    2220 posts
    April 12, 2011 at 3:37 pm
    I find tap-tap-tap on the forehead usually does the trick.
  86. Profile photo of regalia13
    regalia13 Female 18-29
    212 posts
    April 12, 2011 at 10:57 pm
    Lol. Girls seriously have a problem giving oral? Doesn`t bother me ({) Guess my guy is lucky?
  87. Profile photo of missPWNAGE
    missPWNAGE Female 18-29
    298 posts
    April 16, 2011 at 5:32 am
    I don`t like that the Women`s advice was cut off :\ ... What fun is that?

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