Dog Diary vs Cat Diary [PIC]

Submitted by: grahamm 5 years ago Funny

This is why dogs are better than cats.
There are 140 comments:
Male 907
taylor, you sound like a cat in human form because you`re so full of yourself.
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Male 181
I like how people keep saying how self reliant cats are, house cats rely on people the exact same as dogs do, lock a dog a cat in a house and leave for a year and see which one lives longer, problem with cats is they are picky about what they eat and the effort made to eat what ever it is, dogs will eat anything they can get, my bet would be the cat goes first. (Seeing as the dog would probably just eat the cat in the end)

I have two dogs and two cats and I love all of them the same, never valuing or setting one of the two higher, cats and dogs each have there own personalities and they each have different qualities which makes them ALL unique. Cats AND dogs are great pets to have, simple.
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Male 559
older than the internet
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Male 214
"Dog people are confomists"... Sure bro :) You`re a real rebel...

"I couldn`t care less about all what`s going on in some backwater country that has NO EFFECT on ME as an individual, or on those I care about..."
"I am a cat in human form" - You sure bloody are~!
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Male 68
Cats are much smarter than cats, cats just don`t give a sh*t. Dogs have owners, cats have employee`s or slaves.
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Male 2,688
But this is my overall theory...

People who are "dog people" (and I mean those who are STRICTLY about dogs) are conformists. They take orders from those in power without question and without much thought of their own. They make it through life by being exactly what society wants them to be and show little or no signs of having any sense of self or free will.

"Cat people" are less conformist, are able to live for themselves, think for themselves, DO for themselves, and are able to question authority and pick and choose what they wish to be DESPITE society`s views.

I am anti-establishment, anti-corporate, and anti-government... I couldn`t care less about all the celebrity gossip, what`s "trending", and what`s going on in some backwater country that has NO EFFECT on ME as an individual, or on those I care about... I am a cat in human form, and despite what you MIGHT want to believe, I`m HIGHLY intelligent and well educated...
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Male 2,688
Maybe you and I just have a different idea of what makes a good pet... I couldn`t care less if my pet can respond to a thousand commands. I couldn`t care less if my dog can learn faster than my cat... What makes cats a better pet FOR ME is the fact that they have individual personalities and are, for the most part, self reliant. As much as I love BOTH my pets, my cat better suits me as an individual because she and I have the same personality. We are self reliant, only moderately social, only trusting of certain people, don`t care much for the world outside of our own specific lives, and understand that when the reward for something isn`t worth your time and effort, to just not do it.

I`ve never had a more loyal and loving pet than the cat I have now...
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Male 214
Think what you want dude.. You can perceive the selfish, arrogant outright disobedient behaiviour of cats as smart or "complex" all you want.
"Intelligence is in the ability to hear those prompts and willingly ignore them." - That`s not intelligence - that`s a shi**y pet!! Dog`s can willingly ignore commands - they don`t because they know that it is in their best interest NOT TO!
"If you hit a dog, it will come back for more" - spoken like a true jackass.
You really think you can teach a cat something faster than your German Sheppard could have learned? Just just tells me you made 0 effort to teach your dog anything! I won`t argue anymore but I`ll take the word of - scientists, researchers and anthropologists over your doltish, asinine observations...
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Male 2,688
And yea, my dog was a German Shepherd and was dumb as a sack of hammers... Only thing he was good for was sniffing. But as dumb as he was, I loved him dearly because he was a playful and lovable dog... But my cat ruled over him in the house... and he knew it. So am I a cat person, yes... I would sincerely take a cat over a dog any day. And are there dog breeds that are smarter than others? Yes. But you`ll never convince me that dogs are smarter than cats in general... Cats are selfish and complex... I really believe the post is accurate of their mindset (both cat AND dog), if only for the exception that cats stay willingly because they are fed and kept warm.

If you hit a dog, it will come back for more. If you hit a cat, it will run and hide. Who`s the dumber one? Sorry... WAY too many factors tell me cats have a deeper thought process and more complex personality than dogs.
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Male 2,688
Its not that cats don`t understand the reward. Its more that they don`t CARE about the reward... Having the ability to ignore a repetitive command with little to no real reward is a show of intelligence. Sure, it may be a form of stubbornness, but if that`s so, then I myself am no different. And in mentioning your dogs vocabulary, you prove my point... ANY idiot can follow verbal prompts. Any animal can learn to recognize certain words and realize they mean certain things.

Are you even familiar with Pavlov`s experiment with dogs? It showed that he could completely control the dog`s mind with simple prompts and commands. If you think thats a sign of intelligence, then you seriously lack it. Intelligence is in the ability to hear those prompts and willingly ignore them. THEREIN lies the difference... Dogs are tied to commands and prompts that they can`t willingly ignore. Cats are tied to free will and self reliance and can CHOOSE to ignore you.
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Male 2,619
Let me put it another way...
Dog = Homer Simpson
Cat = Stewie Griffin

Who`s cooler now?
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Male 2,619
This proves what exactly? Dogs are inept, useless simpletons with a one track mind whereas cats are scheming, devious selfish megalomaniacs?
Dog - 0 Cat - 1
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Male 214
@Taylor
Following commands is not a real measure of intelligence - true - learning them is. Cats are stubborn - that doesn`t make them smarter either! Cats are far more selective in following commands because they don`t understand the rewards involved in doing so. I have had both dogs and cats - You must have had a dumber dog breed if you think your cat was smarter...
My Border Collie had demonstrated advanced problem solving and an understanding of abstraction before he was 4 months old. He seems to read my mind sometimes and his vocabulary is large enough that if I don`t to rile him up with certain words that excite him - I have to speak in pig-latin. Either Way - you can`t generalize the statement because certain dog breeds are MUCH smater than others. But there is NO cat smarter than a poodle, collie or German sheppard - FACT!
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Male 3,076
XD love it :-D

miasmaat cats are able to think for them self but ONLY think of them self...
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Female 298
Taylor Stone -
If your cat truly helped you (and i`m not really convinced that it wasn`t just trying to get fed) then that would be an *exception* to the rule. If you did some kind of statistical comparison, I have no doubt that more dogs than cats have put their own lives on the line or expended energy in the aid of people.

maybe your dog just hates you.
Intelligent dog indeed. You`re a total cat person. Clearly dogs also have the capacity to think for themselves.
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Male 2,688
@Tobunshi

I`m not saying there aren`t exceptions to the rule. I`m just saying that as a whole, cats display more intelligence than dogs.

Dogs are trained to follow verbal commands and visual prompts. Any retard can follow a command and perform repetitive tasks. Cats make judgments, and are capable of making plans based upon their surrounding environment. (I again reference the bird he mentions in the diary entry, which would find itself eaten after the cat figures out how to get to it.)
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Male 2,688
And for the record, when I was 5, my family cat saved my life... I was having an asthma attack so bad I stopped breathing. He ran into my mother room and jumped on her chest and made her follow him into the living room where I collapsed on the floor. Were it not for that cat. I`d not be here today. So don`t EVER tell me a cat can`t save a life, or be trained to do something heroic. Mine did it without training and without prompting.

And where was our dog (which was a POLICE K9, btw since my dad was a cop)???? Standing there looking at me like a dumbass while I was unconscious on the floor... Didn`t bark for my parents to help me, didn`t lick me to try to revive me, didn`t NOTHING... Just sat there...

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Male 2,688
1. Dogs are chosen as sniffing animals because their sense of smell is stronger than a cat`s...

2. A cat CAN be trained to respond to countless commands, its just harder to because they have the ability to think to themselves "Why is this person trying to get me to do the same thing a thousand times?"

3. Cats are independent and are self reliant. They have the capability of saying "Screw you, Im doing what I want..." Following a command a million times without question and without any thought isn`t a sign of intelligence, its a sign of stupidity. Anyone who takes repetitive orders without stopping and thinking to themselves "Why am I doing this?" is an idiot. You can train a dog to jump off a bridge to its death upon command and it will do it without hesitation, but a cat will look you in the face and give the implied "Go bang." and walk away to do something it feels is more useful of its time. So the one who blindly follows is
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Male 589
penis
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Male 621
I wuv my kiiitty <3
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Male 214
@Taylor: Leave em in a room with the door cracked? Nice experiment, quite the scientist bud... :)
How many cats have you seen that can respond to hunderds of commands, or are trained to sniff explosives & drugs, can be trained to warn parents that their child has dangerously low blood sugar and is about to have a seizure, lead blind people through busy intersections, find and dig out people caught in an avalanche, fetch you a beer from the fridge when asked to, warn you that an intruder is in your houde and is about to knife-f*** some sense into your dimwitted head while you sleep?
But it`s fun to chuck around a ball of yarn with kitties I`m sure...
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Male 310
@MrYouKnow Holy crap so did I. Small world huh?
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Male 571
Correction. This is why cats are so much more awesome.
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Male 678
@taylor_stone

"Because the dog is going to whimper and cry at YOU to open the door because they have no capability for self reliance, while the cat is able to figure out that if they can squeeze their paws around the door, they can open the door themselves."

My dog can open doors. I`ve seen stupid dogs AND stupid cats. That doesn`t mean they`re all stupid.
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Male 1,081
I read that with a British accent.
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Male 3
Cats RULE
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Male 2,688
This why cats are awesome... Dogs are just simple minded...
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Male 2,688
@WorstCaseOnt

This why the cat would figure out a complex way to GET to the bird hanging in the elevated cage while the dog would sit there and whimper until someone brought it down for him... Because cats have no problem solving skill... Take your dumbassery elsewhere... Cats have a higher IQ than dogs. Solitary animals require more intelligence because they can`t rely on the functions of a pack to do the job for them.

Here`s an experiment...

Place a dog and a cat in separate rooms. Leave the door open just cracked enough for them to see out. Then see which one figures out how to get out faster.

Answer: The cat.

Why? Because the dog is going to whimper and cry at YOU to open the door because they have no capability for self reliance, while the cat is able to figure out that if they can squeeze their paws around the door, they can open the door themselves.
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Female 1,236
Don`t remember where I read this: a dog`s word for hello is a cat`s word for F*uck you. LOL.
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Female 497
:D I love doggies
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Female 152
Nope. Sorry. I still like Cats more.
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Male 25,416
dogs are awesome
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Male 55
Lmao, this made me laugh so hard
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Male 2,690
Dogssss<3
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Male 1,360
lol @ worstcaseont`s rant
dude, it`s a funny post. chill out.
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Male 1,360
so dogs are better than cats because they demonstrate symptoms of downs syndrome?
riggghhhhhhttttt.
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Male 2,419
@uhmerikin
unless it was a typo and he meant IQ, EQ is the emotional equivalent
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Female 15
I absolutely loove cats. even though they are pretty much exactly like this makes them seem - they can actually be really loving just like dogs sometimes. oh and plus, you dont have to bathe, walk or put half as much effort into them
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Female 570
@McGovern1981, took the words right out of my head.
Cats and dogs are different, lets leave it at that.
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Male 14,330
@WorstCaseOnt
Libby the seeing eye cat.All of those things you mentioned also have to do with size too a seeing eye cat isn`t good for a person cause they have to pull the leash to guide a person a cat wouldn`t be able to do that very well same for a police dog you don`t see many K9 units with a chihuahua for a reason.
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Male 876
@WorstCaseOnt - I find it ironic that you misspelled "dummer". By the way, what exactly is an "EQ"?
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Male 977
While the post makes dogs seem more "flighty" when it comes down to it... who is the smarter one...? The creature that spends every day enjoying their short life, or the one that focuses on trivial troubles?? I`d say dogs are still the winner when it comes to smarts, even in the context.
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Male 214
This is Horse poo - cats are waay Dummer than Dogs! Don`t even try to argue with me you moronic cat lovers: Animals that live in social groups are always smarter and have large EQ`s than solitary animals. This is because social animals must engage in problem solving every time they interact with another animal in the group. This involves reasoning which cats don`t have! Also when have you come accross a "seeing eye cat," "police cat" or "search and rescue cat."
Cats Suck!
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Male 311
"He is obviously retarded"
LOL

despite cats wanting to kill you they are still much better imo
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Male 1,287
@Quackor: depends on the owners and the cat. I have an indoor-outdoor cat, an outdoor cat, and an indoor cat. My indoor cat is agoraphobic.
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Male 1,287
Great post! I like both cats and dogs, but I prefer cats.
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Male 2,855
I thought cats were free to wander outside the house, at least every freking new house cat seems to be sleeping on my porch every night
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Male 235
I think this means that dogs are retarded
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Male 506
Lol, this is a brilliant post - dogs ftw
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Male 1,678
Dogs = Social, loyal and happy.

Cats = Anti-social, arrogant, bitter, paranoid, and depressed.

Dogs win.
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Female 812
Cats rule
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Male 14,330
@Doggiez

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Male 2,586
Good... but old as the internet :-)
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Male 18
I agree with Swaywithme. This is older than the internet.
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Female 3,001
this is excellent! :D
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Male 588
I only think this increases my love for cats over dogs.
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Male 2,850
@ubberboard08

In as much as a measure of intelligence on a human scale is even applicable to animals:

Dogs are smarter, but caper about like fools, whereas cats are dumber, but move with aloof dignity and grace, which fools us into thinking they are smarter (or at least, more cunning and clever).

It`s why lolcats thrive: it`s more funny to see a so-called clever person doing something foolish than it is to see a fool being foolish.
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Male 535
obviously here, cats are better! the dog is clearly retarded when he calls everything "his favorite thing", he must not know the meaning of the things he says. and the cat is pure genius :D
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Male 2,850
Heh. My cat has a cat flap and comes and goes as he pleases, at any hour day or night. He could leave and never come back any time he wanted. He doesn`t have to go and sit in an office for eight hours every day. He has no work to do, no responsibilities, no worries.

In many ways, he`s more free than I am.
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Female 412
Haha! This is brilliant.
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Male 473
I think I`ve touched a nerve that could become the new religion vs atheism debate... pets vs no pets!

Pets are fine. It`s sharing a home with them that makes me feel slightly repulsed.
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Male 1,010
Hahaha i had both cats and dogs. This is true, all of it. The dog is a simple tool, happy for any little attention. The cat however is totally independent. The cat doesn`t really need you.
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Male 1,360
cats will rule the world one day,
abide by their will
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Male 270
Dogs ftw to be honest
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Male 769
oh 10bears shut the drat up. I`d rather walk in to a house with l`eau du wet dog than hang out with my friends and their puking pooting babies. My friend is a new dad and he can`t smell the baby sick on his tshirt, plus he looks like crap because he doesn`t sleep.
My cat jumped out the window at 5am to go crap on the neighbour`s flowerbed - he just came back in to sit on my lap and he smells of fresh cut grass. Cats = better than babies.
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Male 897
This is a pretty funny post. Very accurate, I`m sure.

@lorrykricas:
Go F*ck yourself spammer. IAB has no need for your bullsh*t!
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Male 335
Cats rule.
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Male 261
cats are evil
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Male 1,054
"I honestly don`t understand how anyone can share their house with an animal. Houses with pets stink, yet the owners don`t know it. Very yuck. Animals should live in animal houses and people should live in people houses. End of."

And where do you think most people would have you live?

It won`t be comfortable.

The measure of a person`s character lies in how they treat other living things - you don`t score well on that test.
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Female 152
@ ubberboard08: I`m not disagreeing with you, but I just wanted to point out that if an animal is purebred, it is far more inbred than a mutt. Genetics-wise, mutts win in almost every way.
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Male 144
Wow kraimir take a chill pill.
Also this is why I like cats. You have achieved nothing if a dog likes you. But you have to earn the friendship of a cat
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Male 107
This was pretty funny. The cat journal was the best. I know that it`s big controversy rather cat, or dogs are smarter. I think they can both be pretty smart. I mean, you can teach dogs to do some really cool crap, but cats can be smart in their own way. I`ve watched a dog bark at a cat on the other side of a fence for hours. Tell me that dog isn`t retarded. He knows he can`t get to the cat yet he sits there, and obnoxiously barks. The cat meanwhile sits on the other side smirking at how oblivious the dog is. Animals are a lot like humans. They come smart, and dumb. It`s all about their genes. If the animal is inbred then it`s going to be dumb. If it`s purebred it`s obviously going to be of a higher standard.
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Male 351
"gchimmel
Female, 13-17, Southern US
560 Posts Tuesday, April 05, 2011 5:23:14 PM
This shows how stupid dogs are. End of story."


this shows how stupid you are, a human wrote it you know? meaning the cat in here could have been replaced with a drating rock. as in proves nothing about the intelligence of anyone written about.

you backwards monkeys arse.

also researchers have proven dogs to be smarter. google it. smarter then the person at the top of my post for sure.
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Male 473
I honestly don`t understand how anyone can share their house with an animal. Houses with pets stink, yet the owners don`t know it. Very yuck. Animals should live in animal houses and people should live in people houses. End of.
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Male 110
Haha! Sorry, to me this is why cats are better than dogs.
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Male 127
Cats being smarter than dogs is one of those widely believed (and untrue) myths (dogs are smarter than cats say researchers). They are certainly more `independant` (dogs are more social), though. I enjoyed the diaries though and just reaffirms Im a dog person.
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Male 37
Clearly show that cats are better than dumb drating dogs!
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Male 757
Re freaking toast!!!! Why cant i post something that nobody has seen????
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Female 3,696
"I know people always joke about things being older than the internet, but this is actually older than the internet right?"

This comment made my day <3 hahah IT`S TRUE!!
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Female 40
heh and that is why I like cats more than dogs, we get along a lot more :3
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Male 334
it may be old to a bunch of you people on here, but it`s the first time i have EVER seen it.
i loled.
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Male 106
ehh
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Male 2,121
I know people always joke about things being older than the internet, but this is actually older than the internet right?
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Male 1,182
LOL HE IS OBVIOUSLY RETARDED
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Male 2,796

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Female 400
Always found this pretty funny.
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Male 8,302
ROFL truly made me laugh, rather than just smile.
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Female 165
Lol and this proves that dogs are better how? Dogs are stupid..cats are awesome!!
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Male 69
This clearly shows that cats are better than dogs.
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Male 217
I think this might be a repost.
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Female 423
People who don`t let their cat go out of the house should endure the same treatment.
And when a cat presents you with an animal it killed, it`s meant to be a token, a sign of love.
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Female 446
I found my little fishes diary...reads like this: *Swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, Oh! Food!, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, bowel movement!, swimming, swimming, swimming.......* Very captivating, i feel a real connection with them now.
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Male 34
Repost. At least it`s a funny repost though.
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Female 697
Kind of harsh using the words "captivity" and "captors", but who cares (aside from me in the beginning). That was one of the most hilarious things I`ve read. Love it. (just don`t like the image of a cat hating to be where they are and wanting so badly to escape... cause I think my own cat feels that way sometimes >.> it`s saddening.)
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Female 281
Cats are clearly superior in this post. Nice try, though.
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Female 174
haha I love this!
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Male 33
Now i love cats
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Female 1,264
I love cats.
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Male 411
"... He is obviously retarded." LOLOLOL
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Female 423
I don`t see your point.
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Male 299
SQUIRREL!
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Male 773
`I remember seeing this somewhere else. Glad it ended up here.`

It was here.
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Male 149
luckdrag, it`s a solid
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Male 2,988
i knew the cats were plotting!
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Male 12,138
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
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Male 2,422
I remember seeing this somewhere else. Glad it ended up here.
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Male 2,868
LOL. Would describe my cat, except I let her outside, and she`s ludicrously affectionate. She does look at her dry food with utter contempt, and demands that I pet her to get her purr going before she`ll start eating, but I can`t afford the canned stuff every day, so she can either get a job, start hunting the rats in my neighborhood, or shut it.
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Male 152
seems about right. Damn cats.
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Male 3,915
i laughed so hard at "In an attempt to disgust them, i once again vomit on the carpet"

it`s so god damned true...XD!!!
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Male 14
the cat is my spirit animal!!!!!!
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Male 14
so my cat is a foreign spy interesting what else is interesting jello of course is it a solid or liquid
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Male 14
so my cat is a foreign spy interesting
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Male 11
Your comment is wrong. Cat diary is more entertaining than dog diary. Cat = More Fun.
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Male 2,592
This describes my old cat. My current cat thinks like the dog. Always extremely happy, content, and cheerful for some reason..
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Male 1,008
now this is funny and relieves my boredom.... WIN!!! more like this please
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Female 426
I`m reading the cat portion, but a Russian voice keeps creeping up as a voice over in my head.
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Female 3,562
Sorry, this is nothing even close to how my cats think. And you forgot the part where the dog barks at every leaf that blows in the yard all night long.
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Male 174
@SPARTAKITTY

Wellllll obviously most of us haven`t read it yet. Good for you though!
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Female 2,120
My 9th grade English teacher read this to me in class.

Ten years ago.
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Male 515
cats>dogs.
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Female 169
Right On. Cats > Dogs
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Male 7,378
I`ve had both. Dogs win.
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Male 176
that cat excerpt was too good
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Male 125
This is why I love cats.
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Female 1,743
I remember getting something very similar as spam forward mail back when dial-up and bowl cut hair was cool.
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Male 5,314
so hilarious
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Male 15,510
By the way, this is how you can tell if your cat is plotting to kill you
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Male 469
It may seem that cats are smarter by this but dogs are smarter.
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Male 37,902

Dogs have an enthusiasm for life cat`s lack.

Dogs > Cats
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Female 667
This shows how stupid dogs are. End of story.
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Male 101
Excerpt from cat owners diary:
Need buy bird and dog to taunt cat more.
mwahahaha :)
Awesome
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Female 1,356
mean looking kitteh.
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Male 17,512
Actually this just proves that cats are smarter.
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Male 5,016
Oh well for me this just mean cats are betters. Dogs appears so stupids after this diary. In any case i love cats and dogs. I`m used to have both in my house and they are friends.
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Male 126
I`ve seen it before, but i still love it.
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Female 136
Ienjoyed the cat`s diary much much more! XD
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Male 10,339
This is epic. Cats suck.
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Male 13
Where is the bird`s diary?
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Male 820
I think this is why cats are better than dogs.
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Male 249
Link: Dog Diary vs Cat Diary [PIC] [Rate Link] - This is why dogs are better than cats.
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