Good News For Dead People: There Will Be Sex [Pic]

Submitted by: orange_panty 6 years ago in Funny

Although, if you"re not getting it in now, what makes you think you"re going to get it in when you"re dead?
There are 36 comments:
Female 3,001
ill just stick to thinking about sex in this life thanks
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Male 1,010
A guide to necrophilia... disgusting.
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Male 151
Insert my ethereal wang where?? Then why do demons want to hang out here then??
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Male 10,855
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Female 9,585
You gotta do something with those 72 virgins.
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Male 15,510
There is only one way to test if this is real or not *shoots himself*
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Male 41,184
I`ll finally get to have sex again after I die? Yay! I think I`ll go drink some drain cleaner now...
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Male 725
There`s hope that I might still get laid.
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Male 25,416
really? dumb
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Male 588
Finally!
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Male 5,194
Andy Warhol made a movie about this, with a shemale, 40 years ago.
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Male 147
A GHOST WROTE THIS BOOK.
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Male 2,402
@SCfan
Your link doesn`t link!
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Male 40,272

Does sex with Hugh Hefner count as sex with the dead?


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Male 335
Does this mean I get to have sex with dead celebrities in the afterlife? Marilyn Monroe, here I come!
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Male 40,272

Sex with the dead is hot.

Old and Cold wins the Gold !

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Male 2,085
Top Ten Worst things about sex with the dead

10. After a couple weeks, they tend to stick to one position, not to mention the sheets
9. The wet spot gets bigger every time
8. After sex in a jaccuzzi, you need a new one
7. In a word--Morning Breath of the Dead
6. Can tip over in more sophisticated positions unless you employ a spotter
5. More difficult to dispose of than used condom unless you own a garbage disposal or pizza place
4. Hard to store, but then you don`t have to blow them up
3. Messy when autopsy suture opens
2. Fly strips get caught in your hair
1. Hard to stay excited with other mourners trying to get you off casket

(good Lord, is nothing you can`t find on the internet?)
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Male 3,894
Sweet. An entire afterlife to not get laid in.
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Male 16
Now I really don´t want to think about my dead grandparents....
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Female 423
I feel your pain handimanner, I feel your pain...
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Male 2,158
Great news cuz I`m sure not getting any now
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Male 40,272


Top Ten Best things about sex with the dead, not sorted by gender.

10.The dead never have a headache
9.A dead chick always swallows
8.A dead chick doesn`t mind sleeping in the wet spot
7.After a few days, a dead dude never gets soft
6.A dead chick is never on the rag. (Or maybe they always are, I`m not sure)
5.The dead never finish first
4.The dead never say "Is it in yet?" "You mean that`s it?" or "Watch the teeth!"
3.The dead don`t mind a golden shower, cameras or bondage
2.After a coupla weeks, you can ditch the lubricant
1.Sometimes after sex you get the munchies (with apologies to J Dahmer)
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Male 6,693
Eternal orgasm.
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Male 758
So, if sex is great in life, and it`s supposed to be amazing in the `afterlife`, why are the whacko Christians making such a fuss about us having sex now? `You can`t have sex outside of a marriage, you have to be wed, you can`t f-ck anyone else, polyamory is a big sin, blah blah blah...`
So, what changes in the `afterlife` that suddenly makes sex so OK?
Just dispense with the bullsh-t and f-ck already, people.
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Male 3,060
good. now i won`t have to worry about a woman killing me for giving her a dirty sanchez.
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Female 178
See, if in heaven we are supposed to endure eternity and be happy, well if food and sex and stuff makes us happy why not in the afterlife.
besides... Sex is awesome. ^^
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Male 590
step 1: autoerotic asphyxiation
step 2: repeat until desired effect
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Male 639
Of course I`ll be having sex when I`m dead. I plan to leave behind a beautiful corpse and if there aren`t at least three necrophilial incidents I`ll be extremely disappointed.
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Male 2,220
Always silent and kind,
not like the others.
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Male 483
It`s sex...TO DIE FOR!

I know, it`s just terrible.
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Male 2,402
Hmm... maybe sex is different than just physical boinking? Maybe it`s like in the movie Cocoon where the alien chick just slammed her human mate with electro plasma love bolts!
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Male 47
Will there be donkey shows?
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Male 138
the actual author is a relative of the person who wrote the book. Hes a spirit who uses his relative as a medium to express the ways of sex after death.
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Female 812
How can you write about that?
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Female 596
Link: Good News For Dead People: There Will Be Sex [Pic] [Rate Link] - Although, if you`re not getting it in now, what makes you think you`re going to get it in when you`re dead?
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