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Category: Funny
Date: 03/17/11 10:53 PM

37 Responses to Good News For Dead People: There Will Be Sex [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of orange_panty
    orange_panty Female 18-29
    596 posts
    March 17, 2011 at 9:05 pm
    Link: Good News For Dead People: There Will Be Sex - Although, if you`re not getting it in now, what makes you think you`re going to get it in when you`re dead?
  2. Profile photo of Seak
    Seak Male 18-29
    1503 posts
    March 17, 2011 at 11:03 pm
    Would that be consider necrophilia?
  3. Profile photo of Oblivia
    Oblivia Female 18-29
    812 posts
    March 17, 2011 at 11:10 pm
    How can you write about that?
  4. Profile photo of OssimJohn
    OssimJohn Male 18-29
    138 posts
    March 17, 2011 at 11:16 pm
    the actual author is a relative of the person who wrote the book. Hes a spirit who uses his relative as a medium to express the ways of sex after death.
  5. Profile photo of Dbrown907
    Dbrown907 Male 18-29
    47 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 12:25 am
    Will there be donkey shows?
  6. Profile photo of handys003
    handys003 Male 50-59
    2402 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 2:19 am
    Hmm... maybe sex is different than just physical boinking? Maybe it`s like in the movie Cocoon where the alien chick just slammed her human mate with electro plasma love bolts!
  7. Profile photo of IrishJesus
    IrishJesus Male 18-29
    483 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 5:14 am
    It`s sex...TO DIE FOR!

    I know, it`s just terrible.
  8. Profile photo of MattPrince
    MattPrince Male 40-49
    2220 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 5:22 am
    Always silent and kind,
    not like the others.
  9. Profile photo of kingpong
    kingpong Male 18-29
    639 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 5:32 am
    Of course I`ll be having sex when I`m dead. I plan to leave behind a beautiful corpse and if there aren`t at least three necrophilial incidents I`ll be extremely disappointed.
  10. Profile photo of EricWRN
    EricWRN Male 30-39
    590 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 5:42 am
    step 1: autoerotic asphyxiation
    step 2: repeat until desired effect
  11. Profile photo of wingz1206
    wingz1206 Female 18-29
    178 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 6:39 am
    See, if in heaven we are supposed to endure eternity and be happy, well if food and sex and stuff makes us happy why not in the afterlife.
    besides... Sex is awesome. ^^
  12. Profile photo of bacon_pie
    bacon_pie Male 30-39
    3061 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 6:44 am
    good. now i won`t have to worry about a woman killing me for giving her a dirty sanchez.
  13. Profile photo of NitroJunkie
    NitroJunkie Male 70 & Over
    758 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 7:55 am
    So, if sex is great in life, and it`s supposed to be amazing in the `afterlife`, why are the whacko Christians making such a fuss about us having sex now? `You can`t have sex outside of a marriage, you have to be wed, you can`t f-ck anyone else, polyamory is a big sin, blah blah blah...`
    So, what changes in the `afterlife` that suddenly makes sex so OK?
    Just dispense with the bullsh-t and f-ck already, people.
  14. Profile photo of meepmaker
    meepmaker Male 30-39
    6694 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 7:59 am
    Eternal orgasm.
  15. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36653 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 8:08 am


    Top Ten Best things about sex with the dead, not sorted by gender.

    10.The dead never have a headache
    9.A dead chick always swallows
    8.A dead chick doesn`t mind sleeping in the wet spot
    7.After a few days, a dead dude never gets soft
    6.A dead chick is never on the rag. (Or maybe they always are, I`m not sure)
    5.The dead never finish first
    4.The dead never say "Is it in yet?" "You mean that`s it?" or "Watch the teeth!"
    3.The dead don`t mind a golden shower, cameras or bondage
    2.After a coupla weeks, you can ditch the lubricant
    1.Sometimes after sex you get the munchies (with apologies to J Dahmer)
  16. Profile photo of handimanner
    handimanner Male 60-69
    2095 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 8:24 am
    Great news cuz I`m sure not getting any now
  17. Profile photo of tincel1372
    tincel1372 Female 18-29
    423 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 8:33 am
    I feel your pain handimanner, I feel your pain...
  18. Profile photo of JohnStalker
    JohnStalker Male 18-29
    15 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 8:55 am
    Now I really don´t want to think about my dead grandparents....
  19. Profile photo of DrProfessor
    DrProfessor Male 18-29
    3894 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 9:10 am
    Sweet. An entire afterlife to not get laid in.
  20. Profile photo of Dad4Life
    Dad4Life Male 50-59
    2081 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 10:22 am
    Top Ten Worst things about sex with the dead

    10. After a couple weeks, they tend to stick to one position, not to mention the sheets
    9. The wet spot gets bigger every time
    8. After sex in a jaccuzzi, you need a new one
    7. In a word--Morning Breath of the Dead
    6. Can tip over in more sophisticated positions unless you employ a spotter
    5. More difficult to dispose of than used condom unless you own a garbage disposal or pizza place
    4. Hard to store, but then you don`t have to blow them up
    3. Messy when autopsy suture opens
    2. Fly strips get caught in your hair
    1. Hard to stay excited with other mourners trying to get you off casket

    (good Lord, is nothing you can`t find on the internet?)
  21. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36653 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 11:06 am

    Sex with the dead is hot.

    Old and Cold wins the Gold !

  22. Profile photo of verinon
    verinon Male 18-29
    335 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 11:28 am
    Does this mean I get to have sex with dead celebrities in the afterlife? Marilyn Monroe, here I come!
  23. Profile photo of Dad4Life
    Dad4Life Male 50-59
    2081 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 11:41 am
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=970ybs8f2nI&feature=fvst
  24. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36653 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 11:58 am

    Does sex with Hugh Hefner count as sex with the dead?


  25. Profile photo of handys003
    handys003 Male 50-59
    2402 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 1:12 pm
    @SCfan
    Your link doesn`t link!
  26. Profile photo of Im_Racist
    Im_Racist Male 70 & Over
    147 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 1:31 pm
    A GHOST WROTE THIS BOOK.
  27. Profile photo of duffytoler
    duffytoler Male 40-49
    5195 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 3:17 pm
    Andy Warhol made a movie about this, with a shemale, 40 years ago.
  28. Profile photo of mr_fribbles
    mr_fribbles Male 13-17
    588 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 4:05 pm
    Finally!
  29. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 4:06 pm
    really? dumb
  30. Profile photo of propagandi
    propagandi Male 40-49
    726 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 4:13 pm
    There`s hope that I might still get laid.
  31. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    32785 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 4:27 pm
    I`ll finally get to have sex again after I die? Yay! I think I`ll go drink some drain cleaner now...
  32. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 6:59 pm
    There is only one way to test if this is real or not *shoots himself*
  33. Profile photo of panth753
    panth753 Female 18-29
    9237 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 7:35 pm
    You gotta do something with those 72 virgins.
  34. Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10731 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 9:48 pm
  35. Profile photo of mdgeist
    mdgeist Male 30-39
    151 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 10:41 pm
    Insert my ethereal wang where?? Then why do demons want to hang out here then??
  36. Profile photo of Student_Law
    Student_Law Male 30-39
    1010 posts
    March 19, 2011 at 12:21 am
    A guide to necrophilia... disgusting.
  37. Profile photo of ruthless1990
    ruthless1990 Female 18-29
    3001 posts
    March 19, 2011 at 3:53 am
    ill just stick to thinking about sex in this life thanks

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