Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior To Your Mother

Submitted by: Bjarki 6 years ago
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html?mod=WSJ_hp_mostpop_read

No soft soap for these kids.
There are 77 comments:
Male 24
"I don`t know why this makes anyone sad; clearly these kids may have a strict childhood but it pays off by keeping them successful later on in life."

Later in life as in when they finally move out and start working all day only to pay bills and apply the same strict rules to their own children and don`t have time for themselves?
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Male 24
This must be the perfect way to raise socially retarded kids that excel at school but not at life and have no real chance of rising above mediocrity. Sure kids need education, but this is just sad.
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Female 235
Mmm, nope. This lady is a b-tch. And if her kids succeeded, then great. But, it`ll be a cold day in hell when I treat my children like they owe ME something.
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Male 493
Enjoy your mediocrity, Americans. The "American Way" used to mean working and toiling hard, always striving to get ahead through honest work and self-reliance. Now it`s all about entitlement, making learning fun, and teaching your children they are the best no matter what.

Demand excellence and you get excellence. You can demand excellence with love, but it is hard.

And teach your stupid kids how to read, write and do math. It`s getting depressing watching the next generation.
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Male 14,330
Wow you no be child go to work now make family fortune!! Another highly NSFW song not for the extremly PC sensitive don`t take it seriously...
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Female 751
I think a combination of these two parenting styles would be sufficient. idk about insults like "garbage" but def saying "oh not on my watch, get your a$$ back in there and keep working until you get it or no (insert fav bribing mechanism here) for a YEAR!"

@numancha: that girls mother was calling her fat when she was not. had she been 180 lbs at 5`9" then yeah a little kick in thea ss would have been in order. so she may have developed an ED b/c hermother had an unhealthy vision of what was fat.

but I think taking a western approach to WHAT you say and how you say it, witht he chinese determination could be beneficial! :)
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Male 151
I go to Ohio State; 10% of the student body or so are straight from China. What I notice about these people is that they lack every social skill imagineable. They stick to their own "kind" of people and never do anything besides studying. You walk into a library on a Friday night and you`ll be lucky to see one Western kid in there, but there sure as hell will be tons of Asians. I`m just saying that there is more to life than straight academics. To be a good speaker with others in social situations and enjoying your short life is my primary responsibility. I pay for college myself, and I get good grades, I see no reason to do otherwise. However, these children will never get to experience independence and interaction with society; they will be holed up in research labs while their Western bosses make all the money.
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Male 6,694
I was just spoiled.
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Female 1,652
My parents did some "chinese" parenting when it came to my homework. Lots and lots of screaming when I didn`t know how to do my math homework.
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Male 1,834
alot of risiplin lol
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Male 512
I prefer Tiger Moms to Grizzly-bimbos from Alaska.
o_0
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Female 14
Ha. My parents are a combo of this. I am allowed to go on sleepovers and out with friends, but only if my grades are all A`s (and solid A`s, 94% and up). My mom pushes me ridiculously hard, and always complains about how lazy I am. I`ve grown to just semi-ignore her. (I`m not Chinese, btw).

But srsly, I`ve had friends with mothers almost exactly like this, and they`ve almost all had problems. They`re very clingy, always looking for praise, or they literally break down crying when they forget one homework assignment out of the entire semester. I`ve had another friend who was near anorexic for a few months because her mother said "You`re so fat and ugly, why?" (she was 120lbs at 5`9" at the time, dropped to ~100lbs), and I had to talk her into eating normally again.

Yeah, there`s a few good things "Chinese mothers" do (I`m a big fan of mental discipline and not softening things too much) but most of it is just too extreme. =/ Just my opinion.
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Male 2
It`s probrably because i`ve been raised by western parents who by the sounds of it are "unfit" for parenting but if my mother did that i A: wouldn`t have been at home for long and B: would have failed everything just to spite her the cow
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Female 73
I am Chinese and she sounds like a bitch.
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Male 2,579
I`m a hippy and I love it
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Male 1,021
That does not sound like a good mother to me. I want to be the one to walk in the sun. Life is too short.
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Male 487
"Is this site an onion spin off? I mean, this can`t be serious"

No it`s real... and it`s like a month old
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Male 48
While I disagree with the extremes she advocates, her base line is commendable. Most children these days are brought up with an incredible lack of motivation to be achievers, and when I teach kids in my classes and see the way they act, I want to kick their parents so hard and hope it`ll shift them into gear :/
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Female 1,427
I don`t know why this makes anyone sad; clearly these kids may have a strict childhood but it pays off by keeping them successful later on in life.
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Female 614
i bet they grow up with power issues, codependancy, and a need to dominate the people in their lives to try and get over their mommy-problems.

good job being a brat and bragging about it. your kids played at carnegie, big whoop. they probably can`t wait to move out of your house and forget you exist.
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Male 448
Is this site an onion spin off? I mean, this can`t be serious.
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Male 25,416
meh
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Male 741
This article just showed me why I don`t have access to nuclear weapons. Sincerely I get some of the points and all, but it still doesn`t override my desire to blow china out of the map right now. The moment you start believing suppressing and taking all type of individuality away from a CHILD is showing true love and affection is the moment I want to be there with a gun pointed at your face, or at least a taser.
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Female 255
Too bad that she only sees her children`s success in grades and academic acheivements. Her child could just as easily (or not so easily) learned to play that piano piece by recital time without all that fuss. She should be ashamed to tell that story and not proud. One should not treat their children as if they are only appreciated when they succeed in the area the parents deem appropriate.
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Male 684
i wondered why i never had any Chinese friends, now i know and it makes me sad.
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Male 3,431
This explains why China is an intellectual utopia full of free spirited geniuses that are able to share their mental wealth and enrich the world.

Or it could be totalitarian mothers prepare children for the oppression of a communist dictatorship without ever considering the possibility of something more personally fulfilling.

Yes there are good things to be learned from their parenting style but demonstrably it is not perfect, unless the aspiration is to prepare the United States for the future predicted in the Firefly series.
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Female 1,963
I agree with her on two things:
1) There is too much emphasis on "making learning fun" these days. I know a lot of people studying primary education, and I feel like the lengths they go to essentially to disguise the fact that any kind of learning is happening is ridiculous. Some things you just have to learn, and practice, and it can`t always be fun. You need to learn how to motivate yourself to do something that isn`t fun to do, but which will be helpful to you in the long run.
2) This whole culture of never being able to say anything negative about your kids is actually really damaging. Kids wind up with the idea that their parents imagine them to be perfect, and then struggle to live up to their expectations.
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Female 734
If I had a Chinese mother I would save so much money on carry out I could buy all the A`s she wanted.win-win
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Male 108
yeah, but this is also why they also grow into miserable adults with no personality.
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Male 64
I`m seeing a few things here that I think are more integral to the "success" of this parenting style than anything else:
1. Spending TONS of time being involved with your childrens academia.
2. Being bluntly honest

I think everything else that she is doing works because of those two factors, even though I think everything else is detrimental to her childrens development and life. She`s depriving them of valuable social skills and self-esteem, while instilling them with a huge drive to succeed.
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Male 2,551
Wow, if I had a chinese mother she`d hate me.
I`ve only got one B, the rest are mostly C`s and one or two Es and Fs.
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Male 5,194
By AMY CHUA

If this was a white woman saying white mothers are superior, she would be branded a racist.
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Male 50
i won`t be raising my kids with the advice of anyone from china. a country i may add that has a terrible record on looking after children (one child policy)and also seems to think that chaining a child to posts and railings outside is an acceptable form of childcare.if you think i made the last one up feel free to google it
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Male 113
Hitler thought he was the Aryan race was superior, too.
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Male 312
I heard about this on The Young Turks about a month ago and it still irks me. The part that gets to me more than any other is how she does not see her two daughters as different in any way. I don`t know what it is, but I really hate her for that.
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Male 500
I`ve lived and worked in China and Taiwan. I know exactly what these parents and these children are like. I also know how many are driven to suicide because they can`t face their parents after failing (ie - getting a B) on a test.
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Male 4,290
Amy Chua sounds like a bitch.
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Female 2,289
That`s not a parent. That`s the creator of robots.
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Female 843
That sounds really bad :( I know when I was growing up, situations weren`t perfect for raising a child so I had teach myself a lot of things and go without my parents` guidance sometimes, but I turned out great. With my own son, I`m going to push him to do a lot of things and be the best he can be, but I`m not going to force him to keep recreating the "Last Supper" painting until it`s perfect (for example). That`s just ridiculous.
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Male 3,081
Hmm.... i`d say `different` rather than `superior`.
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Male 405
Woah, we actually talked about this in english a few days ago :D
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Female 48
I almost wish I was raised by Chinese parents because then I wouldn`t be so lazy and struggling in every subject. :(
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Male 522
don`t you love it when foreigners come to your country and tell you that their way of doing things is superior :-D

...god i hate chinese people
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Female 105
The article makes it seem as if there are only two choices in parenting, the ``chinese`` way or the `western`` way. In reality the spectrum of parenting techniques is wide and varied, this only seems to show two extremes.
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Male 639
@magoo22, Chinese food is generally pretty easy to make, I make various oriental foods regularly and the only issue is getting supplies, like good sherry for GT`s but even that isn`t really an issue. I`m hoping you`re joking, but I`m unaware of your culinary abilities. Everybody should be able to cook but if you`re having grill problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a bisque ain`t one.
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Male 936
That`s actually pretty horrible parenting.
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Male 737
She actually makes a lot of really convincing arguments, controversial as it sounds.
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Male 660
I love Chinese food. I can never make it taste as good the restaurant stuff when I cook it at home. NOW, at last, I understand why. I must practice, practice! PRACTICE!!
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Female 2,927
why does no one seem to seek middle ground in anything any more? in parenting and anything else? why must it always be one extreme or the other?
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Male 86
"They aren`t worried about keeping their "A" and are more likely to explore and take risks"

cool story :->
last semester i attempted to troll my 2nd year class by doing experiment about Rayleigh distribution, even the lab instructor didn`t know what the heck i was doing. Man, i love the confused look on their face, still got A- though
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Male 531
Id rather die
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Male 44
I`m a Western Style kid FML
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Female 582
I fully believe it`s the parents job to override their kids` basic desires. If we always gave our kids cookies and pizza, then we end up with a bunch of fat, nutritionally-inept adults.

On the other hand, my biology professor told me that sometimes the best experiments are done by the B & C students. They aren`t worried about keeping their "A" and are more likely to explore and take risks. You tell me which one is better suited for the zombie apocalypse.
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Male 10,440
[quote] commies [/quote]

yep.
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Male 182
Commies!
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Male 15,832
The Chinamen are going to f*cking own us...
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Male 1,744
alt title: How to raise the most boring kids of all time
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Male 3,745
so in short all you have to do is kill their inner child? mines been dead for years and my life sucks...
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Female 1,101
What kind of childhood is that? Doesn`t sound like much fun to me!
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Male 848
"Why some Chinese women shouldn`t be mothers"
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Male 120
this is what the fat lazy kids of america need. all of america could do with a taking a lesson from this woman.
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Female 1,306
Piano, other instruments, and actual skills? Push your kids. Okay. I can see it.

Forcing them to get straight A`s in school? No way. Guess what doesn`t actually prepare you to be a well-adjusted individual?
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Male 228
I applaud Mrs. Chua for doing away with the bull-s*** that is "Everyone is special in their own way."

But childhood is a time to make friends, to realize on your own that learning is fun. So your child can`t play a complex piano piece by the age of nine, or she isn`t #1 in EVERYTHING. Who cares? As long as she has the core work ethic, the self-esteem to know that she CAN do this, she doesn`t need her mother to lock down the whole damn house.

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Male 1,063
Sucks to grow up a Chink
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Female 193
this is super old news already...
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Male 421
This lady is only posting her one success story about her perfect beyond belief children, but she fails to reveal the dark side of it all.

Social ineptitude, mental strain, and physical self punishment are going to result when kids can`t handle the pressure brought on by all this negative reinforcement, and that`s not even the ones who crack and basically just give up on life.
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Male 421
What`s funny is I know a some parents that are exactly like her.

Their oldest daughter was the top of her class, but had very few friends and ended up blowing those off the second she hit college. She ended up anorexic and lost two years of her life to institutes getting her better.

Their next daughter was similar: top of her class, but had more friends. She ended up marrying the first college guy she dated at the end of her sophomore year.

Their final kid couldn`t handle the pressure. He rebelled in every way he could and ended up flunking out of the private school they had him at, before scraping his way through public school until he hit college, where he failed all of his classes his first semester, and is now seeing a girl two years his junior who`s father is trying to get a restraining order against him. He`s basically grounded for life.
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Male 37,888
a tad bit extreme.

But better her exteme than letting the `little darlings` run wild like most parents in the U.S.
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Male 2,988
meh
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Male 38
It`s easy to convince yourself that if you were a child of a "Chinese mother" that you would say things or go against them. You wouldn`t. If you grew up in a household ever since you were born and were boxed in to do these things you would do them. It`s like women who think that if they lived when women had no rights they would beat their husband or do go against society. It`s not possible, free will can be taken away if you are born and grow into an environment that forces perfection and forces you to act accordingly. This is because you didn`t know what free will was in the first place and knew there was a different way of living.
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Female 3,598
ALSO, my mother didn`t let me give up on things, but she was not an overbearing b!tch. i turned out fine thank you, and i think it`s stupid to lump good "western" parents into the group of people that don`t care about their kids. this article is basically saying there are only two ways to be, overbearing or a soft-hearted pushover. how about a little down the middle please?
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Female 3,598
What a load of crap!! i bet her kids need therapy or end up never talking to her again after they turn 18 and leave the house.
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Male 4,680
I read in a guidebook on Asia that in places like China and Japan, children are viewed less as individuals and more as objects for their parents to sculpt into what they view as a perfect child.

Still though it`s not like these kind of parents are exclusive to China. Insecure, dominating parents exist all over the world!
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Male 5,314
maybe if my mother was chinese, she would have made me read more of this article
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Female 676
I think I`d rather have my own mind and be a "failure" in the eyes of a mother like that than be her perfectly conditioned robot of a child.
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Female 668
When I read that part about not being allowed into school plays, and how they`re not allowed to complain about it...damn man, that`s harsh! What`s everybody`s deal with the arts? Culture is hella important bro.
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Male 61
Link: Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior To Your Mother [Rate Link] - No soft soap for these kids.
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