The best in arts & entertainment, news, pop culture, and your mom since 2002.

[Total: 74    Average: 4.5/5]
63 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 21701
Rating: 4.5
Category: Funny
Date: 02/18/11 11:02 AM

63 Responses to Australian News Reporters: Long Stabby Thing?

  1. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 10:28 am
    Link: Australian News Reporters: Long Stabby Thing? - What`s up with Aussie news broadcasters? Where are their minds?
  2. Profile photo of VDragonV
    VDragonV Male 13-17
    103 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 11:11 am
    I wish the people on my news stations were like this.
  3. Profile photo of lundyjack
    lundyjack Female 18-29
    102 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 11:13 am
    XD
  4. Profile photo of ScottSerious
    ScottSerious Male 18-29
    5316 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 11:13 am
    "whack `em off from a distance"

    hahaha good god.
  5. Profile photo of austin1
    austin1 Male 30-39
    288 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 11:15 am
    That was great!
  6. Profile photo of madest
    madest Male 40-49
    7378 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 11:23 am
    That`s not a stabby thing. This is a stabby thing!
  7. Profile photo of mise
    mise Female 18-29
    583 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 11:26 am
    That`s a lot of euphemisms!
  8. Profile photo of msieg007
    msieg007 Male 18-29
    2035 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 11:27 am
    lol I love Australia.
  9. Profile photo of Brassbull
    Brassbull Male 30-39
    1610 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 11:34 am
    If news reporters were this relaxed and candid in the states I might actually watch. Australia, you rock!
  10. Profile photo of duffytoler
    duffytoler Male 40-49
    5195 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 11:41 am
    This is what Australians do because they aren`t allowed to have porn on the internet.
  11. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 11:47 am
    Yay, i had one posted
  12. Profile photo of Mweebles
    Mweebles Female 18-29
    1653 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 11:56 am
    *points at computer screen* HA!
  13. Profile photo of TuffGhost88
    TuffGhost88 Male 18-29
    371 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 11:58 am
    LOL @ madest!!
  14. Profile photo of Makc2
    Makc2 Male 13-17
    7 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 12:11 pm
    Thats what you think duffytoler.
  15. Profile photo of SvampeBob
    SvampeBob Male 18-29
    3076 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 12:13 pm
    whack `em off from a distance
    XD
  16. Profile photo of VAJENGA
    VAJENGA Male 30-39
    532 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 12:16 pm
    "That`s not a stabby thing. This is a stabby thing!"

    Oh holy crap Madest, I always love your comments, but this one had me laughing till it hurt.
  17. Profile photo of noxert323
    noxert323 Male 18-29
    226 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 12:20 pm
    dude that was awesome.
  18. Profile photo of D3rAnG3d
    D3rAnG3d Male 18-29
    1598 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 12:21 pm
    I would watch more news if the reporters were like this. They crack me the hell up.
  19. Profile photo of meepmaker
    meepmaker Male 30-39
    6694 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 12:36 pm
    Wack him off. Lol.
  20. Profile photo of drgnfire
    drgnfire Male 18-29
    531 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 12:41 pm
    lol ofc the blonde doesnt get it
  21. Profile photo of 1gr8slice
    1gr8slice Male 40-49
    364 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 12:47 pm
    That was awesome!! Funniest news clip I have ever seen...
  22. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11741 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 1:12 pm
    She has a swordy thing, it happens to take batteries too. Because her husband has a short, flabby thing.

    Meanwhile the guy on the end doesn`t want to get up close and personal, yet he wants to wack off the intruder. He must have really long arms.
  23. Profile photo of handys003
    handys003 Male 50-59
    2402 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 1:16 pm
    LOL! Tim you freaking stud!
  24. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 1:23 pm
    Those horny anchors!
  25. Profile photo of redser99
    redser99 Male 30-39
    114 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 1:31 pm
    In all honesty, I`d think that the girls do "get it" but just can`t fathom the idea that the guys would pretend that they`re the only ones that do. Girls aren`t as stupid as us dudes think. Just ask any girl watching what her interpretation is...and is likely freudian.

  26. Profile photo of McGovern1981
    McGovern1981 Male 30-39
    14268 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 1:58 pm
    I got a gun...pussies!
  27. Profile photo of tn11
    tn11 Male 18-29
    1587 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 2:03 pm
    BEST NEWSCAST EVER.
  28. Profile photo of Baalthazaq
    Baalthazaq Male 18-29
    4548 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 2:10 pm
    Lol, I think *everyone* int he room knew exactly what they were doing. ;)
  29. Profile photo of inversegrav
    inversegrav Male 30-39
    770 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 2:14 pm
    This is why there is an underground market for "Foriegn TV" in the US. the rest of the world knows how to make everything on TV entertaining. Even the newscasts.
  30. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36842 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 2:21 pm
    Jane, You ignorant slut.


  31. Profile photo of jamesuyt
    jamesuyt Male 13-17
    680 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 3:49 pm
    Muahah. I love that they just got up and left xD


    Oh yeah, and I know it`ll sound like I`m lying, but I have a single-handed battle axe, a european longsword, a shortsword/cleaver and a two-handed broadsword.. All under my bed.
  32. Profile photo of Tisjokar
    Tisjokar Male 18-29
    985 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 3:51 pm
    Well we are descendants from convicts
  33. Profile photo of DirtyColosus
    DirtyColosus Male 18-29
    6 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 3:53 pm
    simply wonderful
  34. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    33118 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 3:54 pm
    I got a sword (from India I think) by the bedroom and a wrecking bar (3 foot length of steel with a point on one end and a wedge on the other) by the door.
    Also, 3 ferocious guardcats! Grrrowl! (I had 4 cats but one died recently :-()
  35. Profile photo of lisalezah
    lisalezah Female 18-29
    255 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 3:54 pm
    Yea, I like to whack the intruders off with my long stabby thing.
  36. Profile photo of tommy2X4
    tommy2X4 Male 50-59
    3447 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 3:55 pm
    I lock the door. lol, whackin` em` off from a distance with a long stabby thing (dildo)
  37. Profile photo of Brassbull
    Brassbull Male 30-39
    1610 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 4:27 pm
    "Well we are descendants from convicts"

    better than being descendants of puritans
  38. Profile photo of number43
    number43 Male 70 & Over
    759 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 4:41 pm
    that was great. The blonde wins for must ultimate deadpan delivery ever.
  39. Profile photo of Blatto
    Blatto Male 18-29
    358 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 4:51 pm
    I`m my wife`s long, stabby thing too.
  40. Profile photo of minimullen34
    minimullen34 Male 18-29
    179 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 5:15 pm
    LOL he`d rather stand back at a distance and whack him off...LOL!!!
  41. Profile photo of aribowman
    aribowman Male 13-17
    64 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 5:28 pm
    Drat, that means I`m descended from convicts AND puritans.
  42. Profile photo of I-IS-BORED
    I-IS-BORED Male 18-29
    2419 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 7:59 pm
    wouldn`t want to whack him off up close, could get messy
  43. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15841 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 8:56 pm
    short shooty thing > long stabby thing.
  44. Profile photo of idiotfilter
    idiotfilter Male 18-29
    3916 posts
    February 18, 2011 at 11:32 pm
    lol the guy getting up and leaving sealed the deal...

    couldn`t hold the laughter in any more....
  45. Profile photo of PierreJeanFR
    PierreJeanFR Male 40-49
    1360 posts
    February 19, 2011 at 3:30 am
    couldn`t help noticing the ladies hairdo, old fashion.
  46. Profile photo of Funkytoes
    Funkytoes Female 18-29
    170 posts
    February 19, 2011 at 4:13 am
    Awh, I wish we had news like that here!
  47. Profile photo of ZiggZagg
    ZiggZagg Male 13-17
    243 posts
    February 19, 2011 at 7:01 am
    crime rate must be high in australia... I dont know anyone who sleeps with bats and olympic torches close by just in case.
  48. Profile photo of chimmeychang
    chimmeychang Male 30-39
    685 posts
    February 19, 2011 at 7:27 am
    everything was going smoothly until..."I`d rather whack it off from a distance"
  49. Profile photo of tincel1372
    tincel1372 Female 18-29
    423 posts
    February 19, 2011 at 10:50 am
    Funniest thing I`ve seen all week... hell all month.
    Thank you Fatninja.
  50. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8306 posts
    February 19, 2011 at 2:41 pm


    "That`s not a long stabby thing... THAT`s a long stabby thing!"
  51. Profile photo of Asspenny
    Asspenny Male 18-29
    1348 posts
    February 19, 2011 at 3:02 pm
    I love how the blonde didn`t seem to get any of it. Like she had no idea why people were laughing.
  52. Profile photo of n0n
    n0n Male 18-29
    342 posts
    February 19, 2011 at 7:31 pm
    when you thought it couldn`t get any better going from `long stabby thing` to sexual inuendo, MALE
  53. Profile photo of n0n
    n0n Male 18-29
    342 posts
    February 19, 2011 at 7:32 pm
    when you thought it couldn`t get any better going from `long stabby thing` to sexual inuendo, MALE anchor proposes masturbating the intruder from a distance.
  54. Profile photo of Krowley
    Krowley Male 30-39
    696 posts
    February 19, 2011 at 9:32 pm
    LOMFL. I`m living in the wrong country.
  55. Profile photo of ilfg
    ilfg Male 18-29
    336 posts
    February 19, 2011 at 11:38 pm
    I like to keep my long stabby things in my pants
  56. Profile photo of Kalimata
    Kalimata Male 30-39
    661 posts
    February 20, 2011 at 12:03 am
    That was brilliant. So is it for real or just a cultural misconception? I mean we`re pretty lax and groovy up here in Canada, but it just seems like the Aussies have it down pat.

    Must be the result of living in a place where everything can kill you.
  57. Profile photo of phoneybone
    phoneybone Male 18-29
    1744 posts
    February 20, 2011 at 2:11 am
    wait? why don`t they have guns.....ooooh, that`s right, US is the last vestige of citizens who can own firearms. Oh, and the terrorist nations, I guess those guys have `em too.
  58. Profile photo of kirstoner
    kirstoner Female 18-29
    535 posts
    February 20, 2011 at 7:19 am
    This isn`t a news program. It`s the Today show. It`s a joke, and everyone knows it. There`s a clip flying around somewhere of the laughing-guy hosting while drunk off his tits.
  59. Profile photo of kirstoner
    kirstoner Female 18-29
    535 posts
    February 20, 2011 at 7:22 am
    @Tisjokar - no, we`re not all descendants of convicts, you drating moron. I don`t have a single convict in my ancestry and my family`s been in the country since the 1790s.
  60. Profile photo of AlfishKK
    AlfishKK Female 18-29
    782 posts
    February 20, 2011 at 1:06 pm
    "Whacking `em off at a distance"

    Okay, dude, you`ve officially embarrassed yourself.
  61. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8306 posts
    February 20, 2011 at 4:38 pm
    Why do Americans constantly refer to Australians as convicts and criminals? Do you guys know anything at all about history?? You know... like... um... the fact that convicts were sent to Australia BECAUSE THEY COULD NO LONGER SEND THEM TO AMERICA because of the War of Independence? You dratting idiots, you were a convict colony before Australia was!
  62. Profile photo of elhowell
    elhowell Male 18-29
    168 posts
    March 18, 2011 at 2:49 pm
    This is so much better than fox.
  63. Profile photo of obhwfgirl
    obhwfgirl Female 18-29
    582 posts
    March 29, 2011 at 11:09 pm
    @Lionhart2

    Because Georgia was a convict state and look at what happened to them.

Leave a Reply