Australian News Reporters: Long Stabby Thing?

Submitted by: Fatninja01 6 years ago in Funny

What"s up with Aussie news broadcasters? Where are their minds?
There are 63 comments:
Female 582
@Lionhart2

Because Georgia was a convict state and look at what happened to them.
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Male 168
This is so much better than fox.
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Male 8,302
Why do Americans constantly refer to Australians as convicts and criminals? Do you guys know anything at all about history?? You know... like... um... the fact that convicts were sent to Australia BECAUSE THEY COULD NO LONGER SEND THEM TO AMERICA because of the War of Independence? You dratting idiots, you were a convict colony before Australia was!
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Female 781
"Whacking `em off at a distance"

Okay, dude, you`ve officially embarrassed yourself.
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Female 535
@Tisjokar - no, we`re not all descendants of convicts, you drating moron. I don`t have a single convict in my ancestry and my family`s been in the country since the 1790s.
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Female 535
This isn`t a news program. It`s the Today show. It`s a joke, and everyone knows it. There`s a clip flying around somewhere of the laughing-guy hosting while drunk off his tits.
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Male 1,744
wait? why don`t they have guns.....ooooh, that`s right, US is the last vestige of citizens who can own firearms. Oh, and the terrorist nations, I guess those guys have `em too.
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Male 661
That was brilliant. So is it for real or just a cultural misconception? I mean we`re pretty lax and groovy up here in Canada, but it just seems like the Aussies have it down pat.

Must be the result of living in a place where everything can kill you.
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Male 336
I like to keep my long stabby things in my pants
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Male 696
LOMFL. I`m living in the wrong country.
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Male 342
when you thought it couldn`t get any better going from `long stabby thing` to sexual inuendo, MALE anchor proposes masturbating the intruder from a distance.
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Male 342
when you thought it couldn`t get any better going from `long stabby thing` to sexual inuendo, MALE
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Male 1,347
I love how the blonde didn`t seem to get any of it. Like she had no idea why people were laughing.
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Male 8,302


"That`s not a long stabby thing... THAT`s a long stabby thing!"
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Female 423
Funniest thing I`ve seen all week... hell all month.
Thank you Fatninja.
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Male 684
everything was going smoothly until..."I`d rather whack it off from a distance"
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Male 243
crime rate must be high in australia... I dont know anyone who sleeps with bats and olympic torches close by just in case.
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Female 170
Awh, I wish we had news like that here!
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Male 1,360
couldn`t help noticing the ladies hairdo, old fashion.
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Male 3,915
lol the guy getting up and leaving sealed the deal...

couldn`t hold the laughter in any more....
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Male 15,832
short shooty thing > long stabby thing.
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Male 2,419
wouldn`t want to whack him off up close, could get messy
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Male 64
Drat, that means I`m descended from convicts AND puritans.
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Male 179
LOL he`d rather stand back at a distance and whack him off...LOL!!!
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Male 358
I`m my wife`s long, stabby thing too.
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Male 759
that was great. The blonde wins for must ultimate deadpan delivery ever.
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Male 1,610
"Well we are descendants from convicts"

better than being descendants of puritans
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Male 3,475
I lock the door. lol, whackin` em` off from a distance with a long stabby thing (dildo)
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Female 255
Yea, I like to whack the intruders off with my long stabby thing.
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Male 37,774
I got a sword (from India I think) by the bedroom and a wrecking bar (3 foot length of steel with a point on one end and a wedge on the other) by the door.
Also, 3 ferocious guardcats! Grrrowl! (I had 4 cats but one died recently :-()
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Male 6
simply wonderful
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Male 985
Well we are descendants from convicts
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Male 680
Muahah. I love that they just got up and left xD


Oh yeah, and I know it`ll sound like I`m lying, but I have a single-handed battle axe, a european longsword, a shortsword/cleaver and a two-handed broadsword.. All under my bed.
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Male 38,480
Jane, You ignorant slut.


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Male 770
This is why there is an underground market for "Foriegn TV" in the US. the rest of the world knows how to make everything on TV entertaining. Even the newscasts.
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Male 4,547
Lol, I think *everyone* int he room knew exactly what they were doing. ;)
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Male 1,587
BEST NEWSCAST EVER.
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Male 14,332
I got a gun...pussies!
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Male 114
In all honesty, I`d think that the girls do "get it" but just can`t fathom the idea that the guys would pretend that they`re the only ones that do. Girls aren`t as stupid as us dudes think. Just ask any girl watching what her interpretation is...and is likely freudian.

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Male 15,510
Those horny anchors!
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Male 2,402
LOL! Tim you freaking stud!
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Male 11,740
She has a swordy thing, it happens to take batteries too. Because her husband has a short, flabby thing.

Meanwhile the guy on the end doesn`t want to get up close and personal, yet he wants to wack off the intruder. He must have really long arms.
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Male 364
That was awesome!! Funniest news clip I have ever seen...
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Male 531
lol ofc the blonde doesnt get it
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Male 6,694
Wack him off. Lol.
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Male 1,598
I would watch more news if the reporters were like this. They crack me the hell up.
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Male 226
dude that was awesome.
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Male 532
"That`s not a stabby thing. This is a stabby thing!"

Oh holy crap Madest, I always love your comments, but this one had me laughing till it hurt.
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Male 3,076
[quote]whack `em off from a distance[/quote]
XD
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Male 7
Thats what you think duffytoler.
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Male 371
LOL @ madest!!
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Female 1,652
*points at computer screen* HA!
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Male 25,416
Yay, i had one posted
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Male 5,194
This is what Australians do because they aren`t allowed to have porn on the internet.
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Male 1,610
If news reporters were this relaxed and candid in the states I might actually watch. Australia, you rock!
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Male 2,034
lol I love Australia.
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Female 583
That`s a lot of euphemisms!
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Male 7,378
That`s not a stabby thing. This is a stabby thing!
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Male 288
That was great!
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Male 5,314
"whack `em off from a distance"

hahaha good god.
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Female 102
XD
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Male 103
I wish the people on my news stations were like this.
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Male 25,416
Link: Australian News Reporters: Long Stabby Thing? [Rate Link] - What`s up with Aussie news broadcasters? Where are their minds?
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