The best in arts & entertainment, news, pop culture, and your mom since 2002.

[Total: 76    Average: 3.9/5]
121 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 42454
Rating: 3.9
Category: Funny
Date: 01/21/11 07:35 AM

121 Responses to Very Strange Erotica: The Petals Fall Twice [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of LittleMissQT
    LittleMissQT Female 18-29
    1271 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 7:37 am
    Link: Very Strange Erotica: The Petals Fall Twice - This is the most unerotic erotica ever written, but as a comedy, it works great.
  2. Profile photo of GhettoNinja
    GhettoNinja Male 30-39
    886 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 7:45 am
    "That`s just the poop, baby."


  3. Profile photo of Plague555
    Plague555 Male 18-29
    553 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 7:45 am
    what the drat did i just read?
  4. Profile photo of tinaha
    tinaha Female 18-29
    72 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 7:46 am
    oh no.
  5. Profile photo of hiptothemax4
    hiptothemax4 Female 18-29
    95 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 7:46 am
    Why? :( why did I read the whole thing!
  6. Profile photo of koolnews
    koolnews Male 30-39
    44 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 7:47 am
    not strange, the BBC put something erotic this weekDid the rat bite your penis?
  7. Profile photo of Mweebles
    Mweebles Female 18-29
    1653 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 7:49 am
    This was a mix of WTF and preteen attempts at writing smut.
  8. Profile photo of Scott_2150
    Scott_2150 Male 18-29
    801 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 7:49 am
    Was this written by a child?
  9. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 7:54 am
    Lmao that was real baaaaad. I wonder what book is that lol
  10. Profile photo of RPossum
    RPossum Male 30-39
    1070 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 7:57 am
    Hilarious and time consuming, yet I would still say completely inappropriate for this site.

  11. Profile photo of jimbro
    jimbro Male 40-49
    184 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:00 am
    doubleyou. tee. eff.
  12. Profile photo of xiquiripat
    xiquiripat Male 18-29
    2422 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:06 am
    Japanese furry with english as a second language. It`s the only explanation for this abomination unto the Lord.
  13. Profile photo of Justmebaby
    Justmebaby Male 18-29
    79 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:07 am
    I came twice reading this awesomeness. We need more porn like this.
  14. Profile photo of Dad4Life
    Dad4Life Male 50-59
    2080 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:07 am
    I couldn`t get past the use of the word `peeny.`
  15. Profile photo of Skabashas
    Skabashas Male 18-29
    1256 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:10 am
    "It`s just the poop baby, let it work it`s magic."

    Huuuuge lulz.
  16. Profile photo of MechaWolf
    MechaWolf Male 18-29
    315 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:14 am
    Que?
  17. Profile photo of Chojiro
    Chojiro Male 18-29
    247 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:15 am
    wtfffff
  18. Profile photo of EvilCheeseXY
    EvilCheeseXY Female 18-29
    97 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:23 am
    Found the source.
  19. Profile photo of EvilCheeseXY
    EvilCheeseXY Female 18-29
    97 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:23 am
    Let me also add that if this is a project that he follows thru on, OMG I look forward to more. lol
  20. Profile photo of ilurk
    ilurk Female 18-29
    220 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:29 am
    hahaha peeny... That`s what I say in front of my son. To me it seemed like a `nice` word but not anymore. Thanks.
  21. Profile photo of Geogypsy
    Geogypsy Female 18-29
    2546 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:30 am
    Candid brilliance!
    God bless your psychosexual issues Chip Zdarsky!
  22. Profile photo of MrTwidget
    MrTwidget Male 30-39
    795 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:33 am
    Wow. Uhhh... Huh.
  23. Profile photo of collegebound
    collegebound Male 18-29
    3745 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:35 am
    good god...
  24. Profile photo of Pravda7
    Pravda7 Female 18-29
    290 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:43 am
    ......... wow... I`ll remember to read this every time I do not want to be excited.
  25. Profile photo of Samuelsoon
    Samuelsoon Male 18-29
    346 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:44 am
    Thats because your blind now Mildred.

    Im using that.
  26. Profile photo of SPARTAKITTY
    SPARTAKITTY Female 18-29
    2120 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:54 am
    I love it!
  27. Profile photo of xavroche
    xavroche Male 30-39
    819 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 8:57 am
    I`m so turned on right now...
  28. Profile photo of Flibmeister
    Flibmeister Female 18-29
    833 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 9:01 am
    what




    the




    drat?
  29. Profile photo of OmgZelda
    OmgZelda Female 18-29
    1593 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 9:04 am
    WTF? lol
  30. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36640 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 9:09 am
    I first thought of making a rude comment about this being a page from one of IAB`s fan`s diary... but I`ll just laugh at the "hooha" word instead! LOL
  31. Profile photo of D3rAnG3d
    D3rAnG3d Male 18-29
    1598 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 9:11 am
    .... What the hell is this
  32. Profile photo of Rangerahab
    Rangerahab Male 18-29
    161 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 9:17 am
    "her unbelievably average body" At least this guy has realistic standards.
  33. Profile photo of DamienLike
    DamienLike Male 13-17
    705 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 9:21 am
    Time to work some magic...
  34. Profile photo of Baphometa
    Baphometa Male 18-29
    70 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 9:25 am
    I...I...I...I just don`t know what to say...
  35. Profile photo of sidewyz8
    sidewyz8 Female 18-29
    843 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 9:35 am
    Haha, peeny. That`s the word I use any time outside the bed. And what my 2-year-old calls his unit. Peeny or peener.

    But that`s a pretty interesting book...
  36. Profile photo of bankvole
    bankvole Male 30-39
    959 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 9:37 am
    He gave her a Cleveland Steamer. Gary was truly a thoughtful lover
  37. Profile photo of SgtKunnt
    SgtKunnt Male 30-39
    110 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 10:07 am
    I want MOAR!
  38. Profile photo of EntrE
    EntrE Male 18-29
    535 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 10:13 am
    damn, that`s truly brilliant wordplay xD
  39. Profile photo of 8BitHero
    8BitHero Male 18-29
    5414 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 10:19 am
    `Granted she was still alive` WHAT!?
  40. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    32743 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 10:34 am
    so bad. in so many ways! brainbleach required!
  41. Profile photo of Solvent
    Solvent Male 18-29
    2842 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 10:43 am
    I`d buy this.
  42. Profile photo of CoyoteKing
    CoyoteKing Male 18-29
    2988 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 10:47 am
    I`m at a lost for words. Well done IAB, that was kinda awesome
  43. Profile photo of Darkhumour
    Darkhumour Male 18-29
    257 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:01 am
    oh my drating christ
  44. Profile photo of Creabhain
    Creabhain Male 40-49
    440 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:06 am
    error otica win
  45. Profile photo of Nebbie
    Nebbie Male 18-29
    864 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:09 am
    This has to be a joke... Right? Please tell me this is a parody.
  46. Profile photo of Vligon
    Vligon Male 18-29
    594 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:16 am
    What?
  47. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36640 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:18 am
    "a swift headbutt"

    OUCH!

    I`d kick the bitch in the Hooha!
  48. Profile photo of KeePay
    KeePay Male 18-29
    494 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:18 am
    I would buy a novelization of this, this is the best goddamned thing I`ve ever read.
  49. Profile photo of mogman45
    mogman45 Male 18-29
    224 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:19 am
    That`s because you`re blind now, Mildrid.
  50. Profile photo of paddyt07
    paddyt07 Male 18-29
    1067 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:28 am
    "She could feel her horny levels rising to 30%"

    I was nearly in tears.
  51. Profile photo of msieg007
    msieg007 Male 18-29
    2035 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:32 am
    O_o
  52. Profile photo of Inter237
    Inter237 Male 18-29
    2441 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:34 am
    I love when my peeny gets a swift headbutt.
  53. Profile photo of Volsunga
    Volsunga Male 18-29
    1548 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:36 am
    page 143...
  54. Profile photo of betardfooser
    betardfooser Male 30-39
    558 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:54 am
    I LMAO`d, I`m not entirely sure this wasn`t the intended reaction...
  55. Profile photo of Caretta
    Caretta Male 18-29
    540 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:59 am
    This is most excellent.
  56. Profile photo of fabarati
    fabarati Male 18-29
    1240 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 12:00 pm
    See, now there`s a guy who knows how to write. I just wished he could add some more poop. It was magical.
  57. Profile photo of Gorodetsky
    Gorodetsky Male 18-29
    203 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 12:07 pm
    I am dumber now for having read that.
  58. Profile photo of DeathToLems
    DeathToLems Female 18-29
    1435 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 12:16 pm
    omg. what the hell was that? what the...! srsly!?!?!? i can`t believe i read that. that was just ...wrong!
  59. Profile photo of MrAwesome248
    MrAwesome248 Male 18-29
    2 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 12:35 pm
    Such an amazing piece of literature, if I do say so myself.
  60. Profile photo of ManicRapture
    ManicRapture Female 13-17
    682 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 12:37 pm
    ewewewewewew!!!!!!anything ANYTHING but poop! bleh...
  61. Profile photo of spoon024
    spoon024 Female 18-29
    15 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 12:40 pm
    "I would like to continue satisfying you, sans peeny" Ah, romance <3
  62. Profile photo of basherrr
    basherrr Male 18-29
    242 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 12:49 pm
    INSTANT ERECTION.
  63. Profile photo of Blatto
    Blatto Male 18-29
    358 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 12:50 pm
    I need a cold shower.
  64. Profile photo of SoberGuy
    SoberGuy Male 18-29
    347 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 1:12 pm
    (...)"and pooping all over her unbelievably average body"(...)

    Genius.
  65. Profile photo of nubblins
    nubblins Female 18-29
    1743 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 1:17 pm
    I don`t even.....
  66. Profile photo of billzone
    billzone Male 18-29
    136 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 1:18 pm

  67. Profile photo of abby0315
    abby0315 Female 30-39
    1241 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 1:21 pm
    WTH!! That is just the most....that is just NO!!
  68. Profile photo of minimullen34
    minimullen34 Male 18-29
    179 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 1:24 pm
    That was hilarious!!! It sounded like it was written by a 5th grader with the grammar skills of a 3rd grader, but nonetheless it was awesomely bad!!!
  69. Profile photo of PringleMan
    PringleMan Female 13-17
    1356 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 1:37 pm
    so much lol
  70. Profile photo of broizfam
    broizfam Male 60-69
    4845 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 1:38 pm
    Um...no. Just, no.
  71. Profile photo of kerryfairy82
    kerryfairy82 Female 18-29
    839 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 1:41 pm
    so funny, and obviously intentionally so
  72. Profile photo of pubhopper07
    pubhopper07 Male 18-29
    32 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 2:01 pm
    ... what the f?...
  73. Profile photo of TKD_Master
    TKD_Master Male 18-29
    4794 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 2:02 pm
    What the fack did i just read? Idk wtf to do anymore.
  74. Profile photo of Trumstan
    Trumstan Male 18-29
    9 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 2:04 pm
    Gary and Melissa love to make love.
  75. Profile photo of FaLa620
    FaLa620 Male 30-39
    80 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 2:17 pm
    So how exactly does one go about nominating something for the Nobel in literature?
  76. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 2:28 pm
    wrong
  77. Profile photo of fabarati
    fabarati Male 18-29
    1240 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 3:07 pm
    @FaLa620: Only a swede can do it. Send me 200 USD and I`ll do it for you (I know a guy).
  78. Profile photo of idiotfilter
    idiotfilter Male 18-29
    3916 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 4:10 pm
    woah...that went from weird...to freakin crazy weird....
  79. Profile photo of Aceyblob
    Aceyblob Female 18-29
    91 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 4:14 pm
    I don`t even.
  80. Profile photo of wellsy57
    wellsy57 Male 50-59
    236 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 4:35 pm
    "Hilarious and time consuming, yet I would still say completely inappropriate for this site."

    I agree
  81. Profile photo of whydoucare
    whydoucare Male 13-17
    33 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 4:41 pm
    "That`s because you`re blind now, Mildred"
    i loled hard
  82. Profile photo of Meucci
    Meucci Male 18-29
    8 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 5:18 pm
    LMAO..this is so great. Dramatic reading.
  83. Profile photo of jendrian
    jendrian Male 18-29
    2516 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 5:36 pm
    just so wrong ...
  84. Profile photo of janeenie
    janeenie Female 18-29
    123 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 5:49 pm
    hooha.. literally made me "lol"
  85. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11741 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 7:27 pm
    O_o whaaaaaa????
  86. Profile photo of YugureKage
    YugureKage Female 18-29
    1205 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 7:35 pm
    um....why can`t she speak proper english? Is this some kind of "pooping on the mentally challenged after having them give you a blowjob" fetish? Oh wait! Gary must be the Oakland teacher and he must be doing this with a student. All makes sense now? Nope, still traumatized by both these things, I am.
  87. Profile photo of SilverThread
    SilverThread Male 30-39
    3431 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 7:55 pm
    I too, am now blind.
  88. Profile photo of Xerasia
    Xerasia Female 18-29
    1181 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 9:02 pm
    omg that is brilliant. i`m gonna plagiarize it and submit it to my lit teacher.
  89. Profile photo of PastorFuzz
    PastorFuzz Male 30-39
    6 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 9:21 pm
    Wow. So many layers to this.

    1st layer: lolwut?!

    2nd layer: WTF!!!

    3rd layer (after EvilCheeseXY cites source): rofl!

    This is bad on so many levels. Awesome.
  90. Profile photo of slayer50515
    slayer50515 Male 18-29
    988 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:15 pm
    That was supposed to be erotic?
  91. Profile photo of phoneybone
    phoneybone Male 18-29
    1744 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:34 pm
    this reminds of South Park`s "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs"

    Greatest story ever written
  92. Profile photo of Padiddle
    Padiddle Female 13-17
    192 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:35 pm
    Watch, next time I`m getting it on with my boyfriend, this will come to mind, and everything will be ruined.
  93. Profile photo of marissameows
    marissameows Female 18-29
    171 posts
    January 21, 2011 at 11:45 pm
    i havent laughed this hard in a long time
  94. Profile photo of AlANeptune
    AlANeptune Female 18-29
    264 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 12:17 am
    One word: O_o
  95. Profile photo of KittenCereal
    KittenCereal Female 18-29
    956 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 1:56 am
    that was amazing

    and by that i mean hilarious
  96. Profile photo of CmdrBittles
    CmdrBittles Female 18-29
    1172 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 1:57 am
    BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That`s drating awesome. Made me think of Bloodninja for some reason.
  97. Profile photo of Max13007
    Max13007 Male 18-29
    200 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 5:27 am
    My entire readthrough consisted purely of "wtf looks" and laughter. freaking amazing.
  98. Profile photo of Kain1
    Kain1 Male 18-29
    1473 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 9:55 am
    That`s kinda trolly actually :S..
  99. Profile photo of Smokey86
    Smokey86 Male 18-29
    24 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 9:59 am
    "He wrenched his peeny away from Melissa`s grubby paws"

    omg that made me almost cry laughing
  100. Profile photo of Spider_sol
    Spider_sol Male 18-29
    1452 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 11:05 am
    I always thought it was weird that I felt the need to relieve myself after orgasm...

    Now I know I shouldn`t leave the bedroom.
  101. Profile photo of xblackstarx
    xblackstarx Male 13-17
    42 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 3:29 pm
    Peeny!
  102. Profile photo of SebastianLam
    SebastianLam Male 13-17
    730 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 3:36 pm
    Hahahaha Slickling
  103. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15841 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 3:59 pm
    Engrish pr0n - lol.
  104. Profile photo of Kalon
    Kalon Male 13-17
    369 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 5:34 pm
    Aw dude thats mah fetish!
  105. Profile photo of eggsnham
    eggsnham Male 13-17
    1140 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 6:06 pm
    No.

    J.. Just. No.
  106. Profile photo of Doorman
    Doorman Male 30-39
    58 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 6:08 pm
    a crappy erotic book. do you want good stuff, go read Guillaume Apollinaire... this guy will make you read things that you never imagined to do in bed...

    btw, he was friend of Picasso, who draw in one of his books. In addition he was accused to be the responsible to stole Monalisa from Louvre in the beginning of the XX Century.
  107. Profile photo of SmilinSam
    SmilinSam Female 18-29
    3599 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 6:29 pm
    PEENY... hehehe... HOOHA... hahaha...
  108. Profile photo of TheShgn2
    TheShgn2 Male 13-17
    626 posts
    January 22, 2011 at 10:12 pm
    lol. this cracked me up. xD
  109. Profile photo of La_Froge
    La_Froge Female 13-17
    15 posts
    January 23, 2011 at 6:55 am
    i wasn`t expecting to laugh but i actually LOL`d. the last line just cracked me up
  110. Profile photo of La_Froge
    La_Froge Female 13-17
    15 posts
    January 23, 2011 at 6:56 am
    as well as "sans penis"
  111. Profile photo of G0T0Guy
    G0T0Guy Male 30-39
    258 posts
    January 23, 2011 at 11:41 am
    Did Butters write that?
  112. Profile photo of LastJuggalo
    LastJuggalo Female 18-29
    212 posts
    January 23, 2011 at 2:21 pm
    Alice in Wonderland as Linsey Lohan.
  113. Profile photo of xoxnameless
    xoxnameless Female 18-29
    208 posts
    January 23, 2011 at 4:50 pm
    Well. Now you`re blind, oops.
  114. Profile photo of Webz
    Webz Male 18-29
    542 posts
    January 23, 2011 at 5:11 pm
    "Sans peeny"

    LMAO
  115. Profile photo of Space_girl
    Space_girl Female 18-29
    627 posts
    January 24, 2011 at 12:31 am
    what?
  116. Profile photo of ruthless1990
    ruthless1990 Female 18-29
    3001 posts
    January 24, 2011 at 4:44 am
    what is this i dont even
  117. Profile photo of NinjaB0b
    NinjaB0b Male 18-29
    173 posts
    January 25, 2011 at 3:33 am
    how is babby formed? how girl get pragnent?
  118. Profile photo of WargMaster
    WargMaster Male 30-39
    42 posts
    January 25, 2011 at 12:52 pm
    WAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH@@@@H@@@!!!!!!!!
  119. Profile photo of Arvz
    Arvz Male 18-29
    236 posts
    January 25, 2011 at 8:20 pm
    zomahgudness! LOL
  120. Profile photo of 614188
    614188 Male 18-29
    220 posts
    June 22, 2011 at 3:22 am
    wtf did i just read
  121. Profile photo of Skyeofgreen
    Skyeofgreen Female 18-29
    209 posts
    July 1, 2011 at 12:13 pm
    hehehe peeny

Leave a Reply