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93 Responses to The Top 20 Useless Super Powers [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of cryotwin
    cryotwin Male 18-29
    44 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:10 pm
    Link: The Top 20 Useless Super Powers - I don`t know, maybe talking to fruit might be kind of fun.
  2. Profile photo of sofaking42
    sofaking42 Male 18-29
    252 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:18 pm
    1 second super strength would still be very usefull
  3. Profile photo of premierwondr
    premierwondr Male 18-29
    975 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:19 pm
    =|
  4. Profile photo of lawshark2010
    lawshark2010 Male 30-39
    23 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:22 pm
    My wife must have the superpower of trash detection. . .

    It`s 11:30 PM, 13 degrees fahrenheit, and snowing outside -- can`t it wait until morning? If you have a problem with the kitchen trash being full, why don`t YOU take it out now?
  5. Profile photo of hyeonkim0805
    hyeonkim0805 Male 18-29
    667 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:23 pm
    1 second super strength might come in handy one day.
  6. Profile photo of sidewyz8
    sidewyz8 Female 18-29
    843 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:25 pm
    Controlling the remote control would be very useful if you realize it`s across the room after you sit down. Yes, that may sound lazy, but after finally sitting down and getting the baby to sleep, I know getting up again will wake him up. So go ahead and call me crazy, then I`ll just know who on here has never experienced parenthood!

    Sorry, I`ve had a bad day...
  7. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11740 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:26 pm
    Pretty lame stuff. I could come up with an equally uninteresting list of "powers".
  8. Profile photo of moefreak
    moefreak Female 18-29
    1963 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:30 pm
    I don`t know, I think invisibility in the dark would still be pretty sweet.
  9. Profile photo of SoberGuy
    SoberGuy Male 18-29
    347 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:38 pm
    i have bad luck absorbance!!!
  10. Profile photo of mastrmind
    mastrmind Male 18-29
    102 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:39 pm
    @freddy

    I`m waiting for your list of great things to make people laugh.

    Whiner
  11. Profile photo of ardystic
    ardystic Male 18-29
    1083 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:39 pm
    1 sec super strength isn`t useless. a punch takes less than a second.
  12. Profile photo of Oystah
    Oystah Female 40-49
    4032 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:42 pm
    I would love to be able to talk to fruit - I get so annoyed when I buy fruit and it`s not good.
  13. Profile photo of TKD_Master
    TKD_Master Male 18-29
    4793 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:43 pm
    "1 second super strength might come in handy one day. "

    Aye. 1 second super strength is infinitely better than 0 second super strength.
  14. Profile photo of osirisascend
    osirisascend Male 40-49
    3056 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:43 pm
    Weak post.
  15. Profile photo of Freyr108
    Freyr108 Male 18-29
    203 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:47 pm
    i beg to differ, bullet attraction can be useful, provided its coupled with an awesome person, who can maneover behind people.

    And superheroes are supposed to help epople, so essentially absorbing their bad luck can save them... as long as you don`t die yourself lol.

    Also 1 sec super strength can be useful, if you can use it again later:
    walk up to bad guy, punch, hurray i`v esaved the day!
  16. Profile photo of piperfawn
    piperfawn Male 40-49
    4946 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:57 pm
    Yep Oystah i think to that comunicate with fruit is not so useless.
  17. Profile photo of the_phantom
    the_phantom Male 18-29
    510 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:58 pm
    when i get nervous, everyone else can hear my thoughts. also i have 1% super strength. things only seem slightly lighter than they did before my nuclear accident
  18. Profile photo of piperfawn
    piperfawn Male 40-49
    4946 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 1:59 pm
    Hey sidewyz8 no need to say sorry ,i clearly understand what you mean also if i don`t have childs.
  19. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15510 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 2:02 pm
    Actually, Control remote control might be the most useful thing ever
  20. Profile photo of Volsunga
    Volsunga Male 18-29
    1548 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 2:06 pm
    I saw this same list elsewhere in a different form. somebody`s plagiarizing somebody else.
  21. Profile photo of Swaywithme
    Swaywithme Female 18-29
    3696 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 2:09 pm
    suoer slow mo would be very useful as a stunt man
  22. Profile photo of Vindictive
    Vindictive Female 18-29
    1077 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 2:12 pm
    desaturation looks fun
  23. Profile photo of TopperHey
    TopperHey Male 18-29
    1929 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 2:19 pm
    I have a friend who, when asked what superpower he`d most like to have, said he`d like to be able to make people feel like they were just about to sneeze, but never actually be able to. That, my friends, is the mind of a truly evil genius.
  24. Profile photo of Oystah
    Oystah Female 40-49
    4032 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 2:20 pm
    @Piperfawn - I bet it would lie to us anyway. Stupid fruit!
  25. Profile photo of ScottSerious
    ScottSerious Male 18-29
    5314 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 2:36 pm
    my friends an i also had this discussion. we some how landed on teleportation, only, when you teleported you immediately pooped yourself.

    our solution, always know the location of your destination`s restrooms. hopefully, they`re not occupied.
  26. Profile photo of tvremote
    tvremote Male 18-29
    447 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 3:20 pm
    hahaha the least three were the best. Turn into a laptop forever. Maybe that`s how they`re made?
  27. Profile photo of EdiMesic
    EdiMesic Male 18-29
    594 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 3:22 pm
    I`d still go for the invisibility in the dark power. Rob banks at night = win.
  28. Profile photo of PringleMan
    PringleMan Female 13-17
    1356 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 3:24 pm
    trash detection seems pretty useful... could help me ignore the people who are trash...
  29. Profile photo of rustedbrolly
    rustedbrolly Male 18-29
    59 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 3:27 pm
    I`d argue that invisibility in the dark would be quite useful.
  30. Profile photo of mitha
    mitha Male 18-29
    269 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 3:28 pm
    "I have a friend who, when asked what superpower he`d most like to have, said he`d like to be able to make people feel like they were just about to sneeze, but never actually be able to. That, my friends, is the mind of a truly evil genius. "

    I really hope the authorities have him under surveillance, because this much evil has to break lose some day. And it won`t be pretty...
  31. Profile photo of DIETY
    DIETY Male 13-17
    196 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 3:32 pm
    @EdiMesic

    Aren`t there lights in banks?
  32. Profile photo of Skythe
    Skythe Male 18-29
    965 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 3:37 pm
    I think reviving bugs would be pretty sweet.
  33. Profile photo of SexBobOmb
    SexBobOmb Female 18-29
    62 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 3:59 pm
    Super Slow Mo & Desaturation would cure my boredness Despite Not Being Very Useful.
  34. Profile photo of phoneybone
    phoneybone Male 18-29
    1744 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 4:04 pm
    1 second super strength would still be pretty cool, unless it`s only 1 second total for ever, then not so much
  35. Profile photo of ChickODee
    ChickODee Female 18-29
    152 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 4:04 pm
    Ryuk would love #4
    I would love super slow mo and desaturation.
    and Reviving bugs would rock too :3
  36. Profile photo of Purrie
    Purrie Male 18-29
    109 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 4:04 pm
    Invis and Super slo-mo would be useful (Only if everything is in slo-mo though)
  37. Profile photo of tlshaman
    tlshaman Male 13-17
    378 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 4:08 pm
    1 second super strength has a looot of potential
  38. Profile photo of MrHoobToYou
    MrHoobToYou Male 40-49
    405 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 4:26 pm
    In short, I am a massive disappointment
  39. Profile photo of 8BitHero
    8BitHero Male 18-29
    5413 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 4:30 pm
    X-ray vision too. Think about it, if you had X-ray vision, you`d be pretty much blind.
  40. Profile photo of Thetas
    Thetas Male 18-29
    1540 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 4:30 pm
    All black people have invisibility in the dark. This picture is racist calling black people useless.
  41. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25417 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 4:46 pm
    I wonder if suducing hats will seduce the people wearing them
  42. Profile photo of CaptainPat
    CaptainPat Male 18-29
    1584 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 4:49 pm
    well talking to fruit would give you new ideas for annoying orange.
    or, you could hire kumquat spies. criminals would be like, alright no one`s in here except for this kumquat, lets talk about our secret plans.
    Then later you can get the juice on them... or something.
  43. Profile photo of hatface
    hatface Male 18-29
    605 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 5:07 pm
    wait, wouldn`t 75% levitation mean you could jump at superhuman heights and distances? Also super slow-mo was basically the plot of the Matrix.
  44. Profile photo of DixxyRarr
    DixxyRarr Female 18-29
    2674 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 5:09 pm
    For some reason the 75% Levitation picture is cracking my sh*t up. I just picture a bunch of people hovering 3 inches off the floor on their bellies. Oh it`s so SILLY :)
  45. Profile photo of alisia
    alisia Female 18-29
    166 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 5:47 pm
    Invisibility in the dark? Yeah that is actually not a bad one.
  46. Profile photo of somevas
    somevas Male 13-17
    36 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 5:58 pm
    revive bugs would arguably be useful
  47. Profile photo of SmilinSam
    SmilinSam Female 18-29
    3598 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 6:03 pm
    i read my own mind all the time...
  48. Profile photo of button_guy
    button_guy Male 18-29
    171 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 6:14 pm
    1 second super strength would be the bees knees! Flippin over cars, bending metal real fast, and having the most devastating handshake ever!
  49. Profile photo of Robert_D
    Robert_D Male 18-29
    588 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 6:51 pm
    Seduce hats is a sexy power!
  50. Profile photo of Squinky
    Squinky Female 18-29
    117 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 6:52 pm
    I don`t know why but I found everything on here absolutely hilarious.
  51. Profile photo of Capita135
    Capita135 Male 18-29
    20 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 7:39 pm
    I always kill flies and then instantly fill with remorse with the thought of their poor fly families :( Why couldn`t I have been born with super bug reviving powers ! ?
  52. Profile photo of Ranakamarth
    Ranakamarth Male 18-29
    294 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 7:47 pm
    ha that was oddly funny
  53. Profile photo of lerie
    lerie Female 18-29
    1265 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 8:04 pm
    Comunicate with fruits would be awesome. They can help with my world domination plans.
  54. Profile photo of Crucible
    Crucible Male 18-29
    1815 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 8:19 pm
    I`d use my one second super strength to KO my way to the top of every punch-inclusive sport.

    Revive bugs for scientific experiments.

    Desaturate to become the star of Pleasantville 2

    75% levitation : world`s greatest gymnast
  55. Profile photo of 1gr8slice
    1gr8slice Male 40-49
    364 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 8:29 pm
    75% Levitation - in play in nearly all fail videos on the internet, so really doesn`t count as a superpower since all douche-bags possess it.
  56. Profile photo of mollyscary
    mollyscary Female 13-17
    259 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 8:37 pm
    Desaturation of other objects would be kinda cool.
  57. Profile photo of iGamer
    iGamer Male 18-29
    200 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 8:43 pm
    1)Now how much darkness are we talking about with the invisibility,
    2)if the absorbed bad luck can be redirected to shoot at others then it wont be that bad.
    3) If it`s the frozen tundra you end up in then hair growth would be so warm
    4)talking to fruits...i could probably cause the happening to go down with that
    1 second super strength has gotta be my choice
  58. Profile photo of HoneyPunch
    HoneyPunch Female 13-17
    124 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 8:44 pm
    The power of HALF CLONING!!!

    which is basically just having a kid.
  59. Profile photo of HoneyPunch
    HoneyPunch Female 13-17
    124 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 8:46 pm
    You could also potentially use 1-second super strength to your advantage, if you`re smart. Fruit communication would be cool because then you can POISON THE FOOD SUPPLY MUAHAHA.

    75% levitation could probably earn you a quick buck or something in a circus. Meh.
  60. Profile photo of zombieland
    zombieland Male 18-29
    418 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 9:07 pm
    invisable in the dark WOULD SO be useful
  61. Profile photo of moosekid
    moosekid Male 13-17
    348 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 9:22 pm
    1 second strength might be handy?
  62. Profile photo of FCMXD
    FCMXD Male 18-29
    181 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 11:17 pm
    What about: Predicting the future after it happens?
  63. Profile photo of FCMXD
    FCMXD Male 18-29
    181 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 11:18 pm
    I predict that I will make a post on this thread and that it will not be funny.
  64. Profile photo of jeffcomedy
    jeffcomedy Male 30-39
    178 posts
    January 10, 2011 at 11:27 pm
    Super slo-mo could be used to rob a place that uses motion detectors. (super vilans have super powers too)
  65. Profile photo of Inter237
    Inter237 Male 18-29
    2441 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 12:31 am
    Invisible in the dark is semi useful along with 1 second super strength
  66. Profile photo of DarkFerret
    DarkFerret Male 18-29
    2748 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 12:34 am
    1 second super strength would work, but that`s assuming you can use it unlimitedly and with a reasonable cool down. and unlimitedly as in not just once ever.
  67. Profile photo of SvampeBob
    SvampeBob Male 18-29
    3076 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 12:38 am
    haha super slow-mo XD Invisible in the dark is useful but not to rob banks if it`s only the darkness from visible light(450-750nm)
  68. Profile photo of danthew
    danthew Male 18-29
    2121 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 1:34 am
    It doesn`t take more than a second to punch someone through a wall.
  69. Profile photo of RaTheMighty
    RaTheMighty Male 18-29
    46 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 1:37 am
    I could think of things to do with some of these powers
  70. Profile photo of Scott_2150
    Scott_2150 Male 18-29
    801 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 3:50 am
    I would take the 75% percent levitation if no one else wants it?
  71. Profile photo of W2
    W2 Male 13-17
    244 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 3:58 am
    Seducinghats4life
  72. Profile photo of phoenix6
    phoenix6 Female 18-29
    407 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 5:53 am
    What about a combination of some of these? Like super slow-mo plus one second super strength. If it`s anything like dream-time in Inception kinda slow-mo, you`ve got quite a bit of time.

    I think that made more sense in my head.
  73. Profile photo of zombunny
    zombunny Female 18-29
    2525 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 7:17 am
    I have several of these.
  74. Profile photo of s0rd3dvis1on
    s0rd3dvis1on Male 18-29
    2388 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 7:49 am
    I would gladly communicate with fruit my uncle has that power
  75. Profile photo of WHOISIT12345
    WHOISIT12345 Male 18-29
    4393 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 8:05 am
    im good with 75 levitation...
  76. Profile photo of briirox
    briirox Female 18-29
    179 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 8:31 am
    I wouldn`t mind being able to desaturate. lol
  77. Profile photo of BunnyNaku
    BunnyNaku Female 18-29
    5223 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 8:58 am
    lmao
  78. Profile photo of mcfudge
    mcfudge Male 18-29
    537 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 9:20 am
    I`m sure any respectable hipster would love to be able to desaturate... or turn into a mac.
  79. Profile photo of APJ311
    APJ311 Male 13-17
    749 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 9:22 am
    Super slow-mo would look so cool. :D
  80. Profile photo of DamienLike
    DamienLike Male 13-17
    705 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 10:14 am
    Summon a lamp... once.
    Good, I need a f*cking lamp.
  81. Profile photo of Finwicket
    Finwicket Male 18-29
    371 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 10:31 am
    I want the power to control a remote control. I can never find that thing
  82. Profile photo of c3rv4
    c3rv4 Male 18-29
    270 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 10:55 am
    1 second super strength could be good for a super punch/kick/jump.
    I could desaturate and wait for someone to make fun of my power, than kick his face with a mega punch and then run in fear with instant hairloss and finaly turn in a laptop with 75% levitation.

    What a day..
  83. Profile photo of a1butcher
    a1butcher Male 40-49
    4808 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 11:25 am
    I would like to be able to shoot spaghetti out of my fingertips
  84. Profile photo of Oblivia
    Oblivia Female 18-29
    812 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 11:34 am
    Invisibility in the dark has its potentials, way better then being invisible night AND day!
    And I guess I have superpowers, since I can control a remote control, communicate with fruit, detect trash, am able to read my own mind and absorb bad luck! Jeej me ^_^
  85. Profile photo of ROBBIE62
    ROBBIE62 Male 40-49
    7 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 2:14 pm
    c3rv4
    you would kick his face with a mega punch
    thats some sort of super power there !
  86. Profile photo of shizzamX
    shizzamX Female 18-29
    2695 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 3:49 pm
    75% levitation made me lol
  87. Profile photo of TrustyMadman
    TrustyMadman Male 18-29
    144 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 4:17 pm
    Instantly turn objects yellow!
  88. Profile photo of lapajara
    lapajara Female 18-29
    117 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 4:43 pm
    I like desaturation!
  89. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5608 posts
    January 11, 2011 at 6:21 pm
    Hmm...
    1. I`ve watched a story with that in it. There was a character in Heroes with poison gas tears.
    2. "The Shadow knows! Muahahahahahaha!!!!!"
    4. Seen that one too.
    12, 17 I`ve written stories about each.
    11, 13, 16. Might each make cute love stories.



    "I shovel, Dear. I shovel well!..."
  90. Profile photo of meepmaker
    meepmaker Male 30-39
    6694 posts
    January 12, 2011 at 8:59 am
    I pick super slo-mo. You could do all kinds of crazy tricks.
  91. Profile photo of krazyfreak58
    krazyfreak58 Female 13-17
    245 posts
    January 12, 2011 at 3:36 pm
    i think i could have some fun with reviving bugs.
  92. Profile photo of jacobsona29
    jacobsona29 Female 18-29
    233 posts
    January 12, 2011 at 5:23 pm
    Lol de-saturation... Michael Jackson~
  93. Profile photo of lee-schizo
    lee-schizo Female 18-29
    296 posts
    January 16, 2011 at 12:16 am
    what kind of acid?

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