The Top 20 Useless Super Powers [Pic]

Submitted by: cryotwin 6 years ago in Funny

I don"t know, maybe talking to fruit might be kind of fun.
There are 93 comments:
Female 296
what kind of acid?
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Female 233
Lol de-saturation... Michael Jackson~
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Female 245
i think i could have some fun with reviving bugs.
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Male 6,694
I pick super slo-mo. You could do all kinds of crazy tricks.
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Male 5,623
Hmm...
1. I`ve watched a story with that in it. There was a character in Heroes with poison gas tears.
2. "The Shadow knows! Muahahahahahaha!!!!!"
4. Seen that one too.
12, 17 I`ve written stories about each.
11, 13, 16. Might each make cute love stories.



"I shovel, Dear. I shovel well!..."
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Female 117
I like desaturation!
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Male 144
Instantly turn objects yellow!
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Female 2,695
75% levitation made me lol
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Male 7
c3rv4
you would kick his face with a mega punch
thats some sort of super power there !
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Female 812
Invisibility in the dark has its potentials, way better then being invisible night AND day!
And I guess I have superpowers, since I can control a remote control, communicate with fruit, detect trash, am able to read my own mind and absorb bad luck! Jeej me ^_^
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Male 4,807
I would like to be able to shoot spaghetti out of my fingertips
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Male 270
1 second super strength could be good for a super punch/kick/jump.
I could desaturate and wait for someone to make fun of my power, than kick his face with a mega punch and then run in fear with instant hairloss and finaly turn in a laptop with 75% levitation.

What a day..
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Male 371
I want the power to control a remote control. I can never find that thing
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Male 705
Summon a lamp... once.
Good, I need a f*cking lamp.
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Male 749
Super slow-mo would look so cool. :D
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Male 537
I`m sure any respectable hipster would love to be able to desaturate... or turn into a mac.
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Female 5,222
lmao
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Female 179
I wouldn`t mind being able to desaturate. lol
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Male 4,393
im good with 75 levitation...
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Male 2,388
I would gladly communicate with fruit my uncle has that power
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Female 2,525
I have several of these.
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Female 407
What about a combination of some of these? Like super slow-mo plus one second super strength. If it`s anything like dream-time in Inception kinda slow-mo, you`ve got quite a bit of time.

I think that made more sense in my head.
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Male 244
Seducinghats4life
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Male 801
I would take the 75% percent levitation if no one else wants it?
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Male 46
I could think of things to do with some of these powers
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Male 2,121
It doesn`t take more than a second to punch someone through a wall.
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Male 3,076
haha super slow-mo XD Invisible in the dark is useful but not to rob banks if it`s only the darkness from visible light(450-750nm)
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Male 2,748
1 second super strength would work, but that`s assuming you can use it unlimitedly and with a reasonable cool down. and unlimitedly as in not just once ever.
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Male 2,441
Invisible in the dark is semi useful along with 1 second super strength
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Male 178
Super slo-mo could be used to rob a place that uses motion detectors. (super vilans have super powers too)
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Male 181
I predict that I will make a post on this thread and that it will not be funny.
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Male 181
What about: Predicting the future after it happens?
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Male 348
1 second strength might be handy?
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Male 418
invisable in the dark WOULD SO be useful
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Female 124
You could also potentially use 1-second super strength to your advantage, if you`re smart. Fruit communication would be cool because then you can POISON THE FOOD SUPPLY MUAHAHA.

75% levitation could probably earn you a quick buck or something in a circus. Meh.
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Female 124
The power of HALF CLONING!!!

which is basically just having a kid.
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Male 203
1)Now how much darkness are we talking about with the invisibility,
2)if the absorbed bad luck can be redirected to shoot at others then it wont be that bad.
3) If it`s the frozen tundra you end up in then hair growth would be so warm
4)talking to fruits...i could probably cause the happening to go down with that
1 second super strength has gotta be my choice
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Female 259
Desaturation of other objects would be kinda cool.
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Male 364
75% Levitation - in play in nearly all fail videos on the internet, so really doesn`t count as a superpower since all douche-bags possess it.
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Male 1,815
I`d use my one second super strength to KO my way to the top of every punch-inclusive sport.

Revive bugs for scientific experiments.

Desaturate to become the star of Pleasantville 2

75% levitation : world`s greatest gymnast
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Female 1,264
Comunicate with fruits would be awesome. They can help with my world domination plans.
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Male 294
ha that was oddly funny
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Male 20
I always kill flies and then instantly fill with remorse with the thought of their poor fly families :( Why couldn`t I have been born with super bug reviving powers ! ?
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Female 117
I don`t know why but I found everything on here absolutely hilarious.
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Male 588
Seduce hats is a sexy power!
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Male 171
1 second super strength would be the bees knees! Flippin over cars, bending metal real fast, and having the most devastating handshake ever!
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Female 3,598
i read my own mind all the time...
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Male 36
revive bugs would arguably be useful
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Female 166
Invisibility in the dark? Yeah that is actually not a bad one.
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Female 2,674
For some reason the 75% Levitation picture is cracking my sh*t up. I just picture a bunch of people hovering 3 inches off the floor on their bellies. Oh it`s so SILLY :)
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Male 605
wait, wouldn`t 75% levitation mean you could jump at superhuman heights and distances? Also super slow-mo was basically the plot of the Matrix.
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Male 1,584
well talking to fruit would give you new ideas for annoying orange.
or, you could hire kumquat spies. criminals would be like, alright no one`s in here except for this kumquat, lets talk about our secret plans.
Then later you can get the juice on them... or something.
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Male 25,417
I wonder if suducing hats will seduce the people wearing them
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Male 1,540
All black people have invisibility in the dark. This picture is racist calling black people useless.
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Male 5,413
X-ray vision too. Think about it, if you had X-ray vision, you`d be pretty much blind.
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Male 405
In short, I am a massive disappointment
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Male 378
1 second super strength has a looot of potential
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Male 109
Invis and Super slo-mo would be useful (Only if everything is in slo-mo though)
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Female 152
Ryuk would love #4
I would love super slow mo and desaturation.
and Reviving bugs would rock too :3
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Male 1,744
1 second super strength would still be pretty cool, unless it`s only 1 second total for ever, then not so much
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Female 62
Super Slow Mo & Desaturation would cure my boredness Despite Not Being Very Useful.
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Male 965
I think reviving bugs would be pretty sweet.
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Male 196
@EdiMesic

Aren`t there lights in banks?
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Male 269
"I have a friend who, when asked what superpower he`d most like to have, said he`d like to be able to make people feel like they were just about to sneeze, but never actually be able to. That, my friends, is the mind of a truly evil genius. "

I really hope the authorities have him under surveillance, because this much evil has to break lose some day. And it won`t be pretty...
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Male 59
I`d argue that invisibility in the dark would be quite useful.
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Female 1,356
trash detection seems pretty useful... could help me ignore the people who are trash...
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Male 594
I`d still go for the invisibility in the dark power. Rob banks at night = win.
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Male 447
hahaha the least three were the best. Turn into a laptop forever. Maybe that`s how they`re made?
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Male 5,314
my friends an i also had this discussion. we some how landed on teleportation, only, when you teleported you immediately pooped yourself.

our solution, always know the location of your destination`s restrooms. hopefully, they`re not occupied.
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Female 4,039
@Piperfawn - I bet it would lie to us anyway. Stupid fruit!
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Male 1,929
I have a friend who, when asked what superpower he`d most like to have, said he`d like to be able to make people feel like they were just about to sneeze, but never actually be able to. That, my friends, is the mind of a truly evil genius.
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Female 1,077
desaturation looks fun
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Female 3,696
suoer slow mo would be very useful as a stunt man
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Male 1,548
I saw this same list elsewhere in a different form. somebody`s plagiarizing somebody else.
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Male 15,510
Actually, Control remote control might be the most useful thing ever
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Male 5,135
Hey sidewyz8 no need to say sorry ,i clearly understand what you mean also if i don`t have childs.
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Male 510
when i get nervous, everyone else can hear my thoughts. also i have 1% super strength. things only seem slightly lighter than they did before my nuclear accident
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Male 5,135
Yep Oystah i think to that comunicate with fruit is not so useless.
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Male 203
i beg to differ, bullet attraction can be useful, provided its coupled with an awesome person, who can maneover behind people.

And superheroes are supposed to help epople, so essentially absorbing their bad luck can save them... as long as you don`t die yourself lol.

Also 1 sec super strength can be useful, if you can use it again later:
walk up to bad guy, punch, hurray i`v esaved the day!
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Male 3,058
Weak post.
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Male 4,793
"1 second super strength might come in handy one day. "

Aye. 1 second super strength is infinitely better than 0 second super strength.
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Female 4,039
I would love to be able to talk to fruit - I get so annoyed when I buy fruit and it`s not good.
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Male 1,083
1 sec super strength isn`t useless. a punch takes less than a second.
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Male 102
@freddy

I`m waiting for your list of great things to make people laugh.

Whiner
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Male 347
i have bad luck absorbance!!!
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Female 1,963
I don`t know, I think invisibility in the dark would still be pretty sweet.
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Male 11,739
Pretty lame stuff. I could come up with an equally uninteresting list of "powers".
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Female 843
Controlling the remote control would be very useful if you realize it`s across the room after you sit down. Yes, that may sound lazy, but after finally sitting down and getting the baby to sleep, I know getting up again will wake him up. So go ahead and call me crazy, then I`ll just know who on here has never experienced parenthood!

Sorry, I`ve had a bad day...
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Male 667
1 second super strength might come in handy one day.
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Male 23
My wife must have the superpower of trash detection. . .

It`s 11:30 PM, 13 degrees fahrenheit, and snowing outside -- can`t it wait until morning? If you have a problem with the kitchen trash being full, why don`t YOU take it out now?
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Male 975
=|
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Male 252
1 second super strength would still be very usefull
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Male 44
Link: The Top 20 Useless Super Powers [Pic] [Rate Link] - I don`t know, maybe talking to fruit might be kind of fun.
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