Ricky Gervais` Golden Globes Opening Monologue

Submitted by: fancylad 6 years ago Entertainment

Here it is, the monologue that the sensitive types in Hollywood are wringing their hands over. Too harsh, I-A-B?
There are 94 comments:
Male 2,788
Ricky Gervais is pure awesome.
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Female 583
That wasn`t that bad. Now if Frankie Boyle presented the Golden Globes...
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Female 781
Oh come on, he`s hilarious. I loved the shots of celebrities laughing in spite of themselves.
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Male 369
I was shocked that they had such a hilarious and slightly vulgar man open for the Golden Globes. @Moosh and the donut pillow is just a round toob shaped seat filled with bean-bag-chair foam balls and feels great to sit on after a long days work. I`m sory to say its not acctualy a donut...
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Female 1,682
Wow...This man is hilarious. I love him. It really wasn`t that bad. Half of what he said was true anyways...
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Male 842
I loved Depp`s expression at 1:38. You could tell he can take a joke.
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Female 196
"If your butt hurt, buy a donut pillow"

What the hell does this mean and where did you even...
I find myself torn between feelings of confusion, slight displeasure and intense intrigue. Can you tell me more about these donut pillows you speak of?
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Female 31
I love Ricky. What an acidic sense of humour. Honestly, the stars in his speech could use a little more criticism along that line.
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Male 160
Man I loved every second of that
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Female 100
I thought it was funny. I don`t see what the harm is just because he made a couple of jokes. People need to get the pole out of there ass and just get over it. To be honest what he said about Charlie Sheen was kind of true anyway.
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Female 728
I thought it was funny, but he need to just come out and say the jokes. He sounded like he was trying to test the waters to make sure no one got too badly offended, but it would have gone much more smoothly if he had just gone with it. I think people probably would have been less offended that way, as well.
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Male 2,988
Too funny! This guy is great. And who cares if some millionares got slightly offended. Boo hoo. Go cry yourself to sleep ontop of a pile of cash.

If your butt hurt, buy a donut pillow.
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Male 1,596
imagined he`d gone too far and got completely stonewalled when i heard he got into trouble on the news. This was brilliant, good to see robert de niro having a chuckle.
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Female 61
I effing love Ricky Gervais
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Male 200
@handys003, first, don`t go calling liberals babies for calling something innapropriate when right-wing nutjobs are pushing to get dictionaries banned from school due to having the word "se x" in them. second, just enjoy the freakin` video and stop trolling.
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Male 153
Holy crap, Ricky Gervais is hilarious. Buncha sensitive phucktards.
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Male 9
@handys003

ricky is a liberal himself who is an athiest and animal rights activist.
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Male 294
Yeah...I mean...they hired Ricky Gervais.

I have to agree with T-Marley though, Colbert does a good job grilling folks too.
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Male 1,360
I like him even if he`s sometimes mean because he`s FUNNY!
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Male 2,402
Oh did the poor little leftist liberal babies go cry to mommy? Oh too bad so sad. If your going to dish it out on the others who don`t see your way be a f*cking man and take it when it`s shoved back on you. Bunch of pussies. Rickey you rock man. Tell the freaking baby ass producer to f*ck themselves.
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Male 73
brilliant
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Male 2,372
I can`t cope.

"Rickey" Gervais on the caption.

"Ricky" Gervais everywhere else on the planet.

...he reminds me of that a$$hole at the wedding who`s had too much to drink when he`s asked to make his toast (like Steve Buscemi in The Wedding Singer...ironically enough). Sure, what he`s saying is "true" and "cutting" and "scathing" and so on...but no one wants to hear about the bride blowing the busboy 2 years ago at some staff Christmas party.

Save it for your own gig...not when you`re emceeing someone else`s.
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Male 602
They should just be glad they didn`t hire Stephen Colbert. I would say what he said during the Press Dinner with Bush was far more "roasty" than anything I heard here.

I will say that the monologue here doesn`t really do credit to the full effect. The Bruce Willis joke, not something I would do to a guy who could rip me apart.

But I believe the best bit was his passive aggressive attack on Steve Carrell for leaving The Office, which sadly we missed here.
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Male 552
They put a bull in a china shop. The hell`d they THINK he was gonna do? They agreed to his terms and he proceeded to tear it up like Godzilla.
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Male 17,512
I love a good celebrity roasting. LOL!
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Female 779
Haha, that was awesome! I especially like how Steve Buscemi was clearly unamused. XD
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Male 37,902
Hugh Heffner`s Girlfiends = Whoreticians


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Male 58
Amazing!! ROTFL

and
did he lie?
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Male 661
That was absolutely brilliant. That Cher joke had me in tears, and the one about the Sex in the City star being in an episode of Bonanza, well that one woke up my wife...
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Female 1,441
This was great. Robert De Niro was clearly loving it which is hilarious.

Seriously celebrities are like worshiped most of the time, I see no problem with this.
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Female 1,236
Celebrities get their asses kissed & taints licked all year long--this is SUCH a refreshing change! Love Ricky.
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Female 683
Bahaha. He is a truly hilarious man. However, I imagine that would be very awkward for the audience. xD
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Male 1,744
i think all hollywood "award" shows should just be straight up roasts, that`d be awesome

and damn, me thinks i should`ve watched this, this was pretty good, and he wasn`t lying in the ad when he said "well, you`ll get to watch me making fun of everyone". He wasn`t kidding
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Male 44
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAHAHAHAHAHHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA nvm I was gonna go for the full character limit, but that about sums it up anyway
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Male 311
I love the expressions on Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin`s faces when the camera caught em, they both quickly looked away and acted like they weren`t lolin
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Female 383
Haha. He was a bit mean, but then again the Golden Globes were really boring this year. LONG LIVE RICKY GERVAIS, CREATOR OF THE OFFICE!
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Female 2,220
I love how 99% of the audience, inside, were going "HAHA YESSSS" But they had to let their laughs go a bit quieter.

GOOD old Ricky, giving Brits a good, but crass name.
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Male 1,197
haha, nice one ricky :D haha
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Male 103
That was awesome sauce. So awesomesauce.
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Female 547
Bobby DeNiro was lolling, and that`s good enough for me!
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Male 4,793
Hahaha that was really funny :) Kudos to the crowd though, it wouldn`t have been funny if they were booing him the whole time lol. I`m glad they could all see the humor in it :)
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Male 1,484
i would say that Ricky Gervais isnt funny 99% of the time, however i did find this to be rather funny, a little risque in places, but not too extreme, so i dont know what all the fuss is about
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Male 25,416
not a fan
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Male 2,159
This was one of those very rare moments when I actually found Ricky Gervais funny, although, it was partly the audience`s huge reaction to some of the jokes.

Come on, just because they`re not obvious, tame and lame like most awards show jokes, doesn`t mean it`s all really offensive, does it? When he was ripping on The Tourist, Johnny Depp clearly laughed along with it, so no-one was really offended. Except maybe Cher, but who cares about that plastic beast?
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Male 1,231
Funnier than Rickey Gervais normally is; I was impressed!
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Female 1,623
Loved it!
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Female 843
I thought he was pretty funny. If those actors/actresses couldn`t take his jokes, they`re in the wrong business. Magazines and crappy news stand prints can (and will) do a lot worse.
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Male 535
that was fricking HILARIOUS!!!
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Male 605
I don`t understand, why is this so offensive? Does anyone agree this is pretty tame compared to most stand-up he`s done?
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Female 1,589
That audience did NOT sound impressed...
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Male 187
This is what british comedy is like. If the americans didn`t have such paper thin skins there wouldn`t be this problem.
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Male 15,510
Gotta love this man
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Female 1,604
I didn`t think there was anything wrong with it.. It is his style of comedy honest and funny
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Female 2,120
Robert Deniro`s laugh at the end is awesome.
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Male 2,441
Not his best, but pretty solid. Too far on a couple jokes.
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Male 55
brilliant! karl pilkington should do it next year.
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Female 595
Ricky Gervais is just telling it like it is...
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Male 93
E11e frankie boyle isn`t funny though...
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Male 621
Are people mad about this? That was funny as!
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Male 2,238
That was beautiful. Gervais at his finest.
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Male 288
Oh the British-you poor not funny people.
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Male 1,471
He really hit the nail right smack on the head !.. I laughed so hard i almost coughed my lungs up!..
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Male 254
Too harsh? come on people, these aren`t servicemen and women who have put their lives on the line for our country or something like that... they`re drating actors. they get paid millions and millions of dollars to do pretty much jack poo. lay it on, ricky!
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Male 686
Oh im sorry hollywood stars, if you wanted someone to go onstage and suck your proverbials maybe you should have got a hooker. as it turned out you paid a comedian about 50000% more than the hooker would have cost then got pissed when he made jokes
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Female 3,001
that was awesome!
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Female 36
Why get a British comedy to host it when hardly any Americans understand the British sense of humour? If only Frankie Boyle had hosted it instead...
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Male 978
LOL
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Male 5,194
>> Too harsh, I-A-B?

More like "Not funny enough." You can get away with saying anything so long as it gets a good laugh - this was weak. Too weak.
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Male 1,548
@verinon
It`s not like they could stop him, it`s live.
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Male 2,552
I thought that was great. I love seeing the Hollywood-types getting roasted. All of the "How DARE you!" looks are priceless!
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Female 515
I love the face Chris Noth made when he made the Sex and the City 2 airbrush comment. HILARIOUS
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Male 7,378
Ricky Gervais is brilliant. He was an excellent host. These people aren`t allowed to laugh at these jokes and critics do what their name implies, criticize. Bravo Ricky!
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Male 99
He laid into Charlie Sheen pretty hard. Besides that, it`s kinda what you should expect of a British comic.
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Male 99
I love him!! That was hilarious!
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Male 335
That was pretty damn funny. I`m surprised they let him do most of those jokes.
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Male 10,339
I thought it was all brilliant!
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Male 76
That was just what I needed.
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Male 1,678
LMAO I usually can`t stand Ricky Gervais but this was funny as drat!
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Male 2,388
that was good
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Male 2,551
I absolutly hate him, haven`t seen him in The Office, and I don`t plan on it.
He just seems pretty arrogant - even when he`s offstage.
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Male 694
It`s all in good fun. Just not the classiest way to have fun.
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Male 7,585
god, i love rickey gervais. his stand up bits are outstanding.
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Male 377
I don`t think he was any worse than previous hosts, I think he just bombed. His timing was terrible.
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Female 7,838
Oh dear- sensitive indeed. Sounded like some of them had forgotten how to laugh, stupid arses.
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Male 174
...and I`m off watching the Golden Globes for the first time in my life.
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Male 176
Ricky was awesome; the only reason to actually watch the golden globes.

"Hollywood`s favorite award show because they`re allowed to drink throughout the entire ceremony, because without that, it would be f*cking insufferable." - Ricky Gervais
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Male 4,290
Meh. He thinks he`s funnier than he actually is. The Office was good, but that`s the only character he has. Everything else he`s tried to act in was just David Brent again.
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Female 95
I missed it but watched the rest, it doesn`t seem bad at all. The audience laughed way more in this video than they did the rest of the night lol, everything else he said seemed rushed and had absolutely no response from the audience. Definitely awkward. Personally I think he does some great stand up :) but I definitely think it was awkward last night
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Male 1,122
Love the nervous laughter in this clip.
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Male 1,548
Ricky Gervais is offensive and British, what did they expect?
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Male 1,399
It`s perfect; like a roast on Hollywood.

Damn Gervais is funny.
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Female 177
he`s an non-nice individual thats why they hired him

and hes drating funny
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Male 479
Only he could get away with it. Perfect - it just shows them that no-one is untouchable!
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Male 19,879
Link: Ricky Gervais` Golden Globes Opening Monologue [Rate Link] - Here it is, the monologue that the sensitive types in Hollywood are wringing their hands over. Too harsh, I-A-B?
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