Most No-Nonsense Doctor Ever [Pic]

Submitted by: eugenius 6 years ago in Funny

He doc, how do I get off heroin?
There are 49 comments:
Female 83
A doctor that doesn`t mince words. Yay.
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Male 718
Here is how you stop taking heroin. Suboxone. there.. problem solved.. you dont get high anymore but you also dont have an awesome chance of dying or getting aids. i think its a fair trade. and some say (your trading one addiction for another) not always and even if you DO id rather take 1-1/2 a suboxone a day then shooting up all my entire income into my arm.
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Male 5,189
That`d work.
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Male 2,868
OK, might as well correct myself- "While heroin withdrawal is seldom fatal, it can cause death if heavy users who are in poor health suddenly stop taking the drug."

source
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Male 2,868
"Heroin withdrawal can occasionally be fatal"

Only if the person kills themselves. It`s alcohol withdrawal that can kill you- it can cause seizures, which can be fatal if they go untreated. I`ve seen both on the psychiatric ward at a VA hospital. With opioid addicts, the focus is on keeping them as comfortable as possible through the detox process, but opioids are not required to protect them from harmful withdrawal symptoms. On the other hand, patients detoxing from alcohol are monitored closely, and are given benzodiazepines if their withdrawal symptoms start to get out of control, since benzos act on the nervous system similarly to alcohol, and act as an anticonvulsant to prevent seizures.
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Female 5,222
lmao @janeenie
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Female 122
haha reminds me of the movie liar liar when jim carrey yell "stop breaking the law a**hole"
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Male 2,389
Except that, if the patient were addicted to heroin, a smart doctor would provide information about rehab or methadone. Heroin withdrawal can occasionally be fatal, not to mention extremely difficult to get over, as heroin is one of the most addictive drugs out there.

Hence the pre-filled generic discharge papers. I once went to a er because I was routinely `tired.` The fact I was going to college fulltime, community college part time and working 60 hours a week probably had A LOT to do with it but I was tired more than normal. Diagnosis? He said I was depressed. Got the generic dc papers and even a 1800 number for when I felt like killing myself. but my dc papers were generic. Docs don`t have/take the time to write special instructions anymore. Most of the time they`re just way to overwhelmed or lack the motivational desire.
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Male 1,249
"So why isn`t that guy arrested for using heroin?" Because you can`t get arrested for being an addict. Possession is another thing.
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Male 698
So why isn`t that guy arrested for using heroin?
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Female 728
Except that, if the patient were addicted to heroin, a smart doctor would provide information about rehab or methadone. Heroin withdrawal can occasionally be fatal, not to mention extremely difficult to get over, as heroin is one of the most addictive drugs out there.
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Male 6,693
LOL. Well, Stop It !
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Male 238
You always get discharge papers when you leave the hospital.
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Male 2,389
nobody writes discharge papers anymore, they check the boxes and pre-filled,generated dc papers spit out at the printer.
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Female 4,084
@ForSquirel: its required that when leaving the ER you receive written discharge instructions. was in the business for 30 years so i think i know what i`m talking about...
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Male 2,389
I`ve never seen personalized discharge papers. I find this highly unlikely. This was most likely a joke. Docs do it all the time.
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Male 44
Here`s another dedicated doctor and don`t you ever mention pedophile. A Totally Real Doctor
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Male 590
...plus this says "dc instructions con`t", meaning there`s probably other pages of generic "get off heroin" instructions and warnings and this was the page for his "special advice", as the page header reads. That`s generally how ER instruction sheets work for you judgmental laymen out there!
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Male 590
aw, mean ol` ER doctors not giving touchy feely huggy lovey rehab instructions for a heroin user who probably got his 10th tax-payer comp`ed ER visit this year :(
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Female 255
Why is there no signatures?
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Female 779
What a stupid doctor, he should be prescribing Methadone to stabilize the guy while he gets of heroin. Text book stuff. *sigh*
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Female 3,828
lol i guess most doctors would write down the information for a rehab centre or something. not this guy!! best dr award!
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Male 493
Haha. Well played.
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Male 3,076
Thanks Doc!
You should be nominated for a Nobel price in medicine for cure of the year!
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Male 10,855
Oh if only it were that simple
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Male 10,440
Sound advice I suppose
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Male 25,416
Telllz it like it iz!
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Male 40,739
[quote]they go to the doctor and say "fix me."[/quote]
OH! If ONLY more junkies, idiots and other assorted fools would go get "fixed", eh?
("fix me" means something different to us cat-people - lolz!)
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Male 2,868
"You gotta put something in the discharge instructions to cover your @ss if he OD again."

I don`t think this falls in the CYA category. Were this patient to OD, and there was question as to whether or not this doctor did his or her job correctly, this document would not show the doctor in a very good light- it reveals frustration with and contempt for the patient. If he wanted to cover his ass, he should have referred him to a treatment program.

But I understand the frustration- there are loads of people who treat their bodies like sh*t- either by using drugs, or drinking heavily, or eating pooty food and/or sitting on ass all day- and then when it catches up to them they go to the doctor and say "fix me."
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Male 315
1. This guy sounds like a frequent flyer and probably as a track record at the hospital for overdose and so patience is at a minimum 2. You gotta put something in the discharge instructions to cover your @ss if he OD again.
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Male 2,441
I`m pretty sure most doctors would say the same thing.
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Male 40,739
At first I was going to point out it`s page 2 of doctor`s advice, but I thought: naw!

THEN I noticed the caption and thought:

"He doc, me junky!"
(I Tarzan, you Jane)
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Male 1,218
"Is there a patient this doctor would be like "Hell yeah, keep shootin` up, I`ll go get the needles"?"

Keith Richards?
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Male 838
kingpong... the subtlety of sarcasm is entirely lost on you, isn`t it.
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Male 2,988
fair enough doc
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Male 1,249
Sounds easy enough...
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Male 639
Does this really qualify as special advice? I`m pretty sure this is a rule that applies to everyone, not just the good sir or madam here. Is there a patient this doctor would be like "Hell yeah, keep shootin` up, I`ll go get the needles"? I don`t think you even need a doctor for this advice.
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Male 1,292
This doc. really knows his stuff.
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Male 5,413
In a nutshell and straight to the point. :)
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Male 3,745
well then...ill try it and see what happens

"Yes,I agree....the kidnapping of female superheros has to stop...I read that wrong didn`t I?"

i got your joke even if they didnt :)
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Male 39,904
when he says "stop taking heroin" he means like, stop stealing it.... start paying, right? Or does he mean stop taking "a lot" and cut back a bit?
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Male 15,510
@SKINNERNSC

Nah you got that right, this was sent to Bowser
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Female 1,006
Close, Skinnernsc, but that is Heroine. Not quite the same.
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Female 3,001
well, that`d do it
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Male 8,300
I want a second opinion.
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Male 359
Yes,I agree....the kidnapping of female superheros has to stop...I read that wrong didn`t I?
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Male 3,842
It says "continued" so there were probably a lot of relevant instructions on previous pages. At the bottom of every discharge I get, the very last line says "reduce alcohol consumption" just like this. It is just funny because this line is on its own page.
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Male 965
Hmm. I never thought of it that way before.
Thanks Doc!
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Male 1,620
Link: Most No-Nonsense Doctor Ever [Pic] [Rate Link] - He doc, how do I get off heroin?
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