Most Epic On-The-Job Write-Up Ever

Submitted by: Bachi-Atari 6 years ago in Funny

I"ve had days at work I wish I could"ve done this.
There are 79 comments:
Female 307
I`M RICK JAMES, BITCH
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Male 1,351
"...an unknown substance, possibly of hallucinogenic nature". What, did he try their new recipe? :-D
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Female 171
I could picture any one of my old friends from highschool having this as the reason for being fired.
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Male 589
I got fired from Papa John`s for the same poo
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Female 394
I think I know this guy, he was my boss >.<
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Male 2,376
yea trypho thats a pooy observation! have you ever had a job? for all those idiots know he is working today lol..

WAIT JIMMY, STOP RIGHT THERE..... LET ME SEE IF YOU`RE SCHEDULED TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!! CALL THE COPS HES NOT ON THE ROSTER!!!!!!
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Male 474
Just a quick observation, if he came to work on a day he wasn`t scheduled, and was obviously twisted on something, they wouldn`t have let him behind the counter in the first place, regardless of the fact that he works there.
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Female 1,236
Fake. & not that funny.
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Male 6,694
Sounds like just another day in the pizza business.
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Male 25,416
Thats the assistant manager, thats halarious
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Female 7,867
Frame it and hang with pride!
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Female 2,525
I thought being on drugs was a requirement to KEEP your job at Domino`s.
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Female 3,001
thats so awesome! :D
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Male 177
I`m sure he was just rattling off numbers, claiming that it was pi. I had a friend in college who, while we were on LSD, was using the house phone as a "calculator" while spouting off sentence fragments like "Time to call Mike point six seven ninth to the radius power."

Sounds about the same to me.
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Male 2,855
46th digit, wow
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Male 2,390
frustrated only getting to 46 digits.. better than me, all I can remember is 3.141something something something. but seriously. awesome, just awesome. I wish the DP employees at my local were this cool. Mine just look like a buncha guys drooling over Hero CLix.
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Male 41
That seems about par for Domino`s.
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Male 38,496

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Male 200
officially my hero.
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Male 45
I would frame that and put it up on my wall!
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Female 833
wow. just. wow.
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Female 4,086
am i the only one who is impressed that someone working at a pizza place can recite pi to the 46th digit? and while intoxicated can apparently pronounce `bovine and porcine`? but maybe he was as overqualified for his job as i am for mine... lots of that going around today. and god knows i didn`t train for 30 years to be the midnight security guard at an abandoned auto parts plant.
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Male 1,834
"im rick james bitch" lol
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Male 2
whoops it censored me..with poo, i said poo started melting
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Male 2
done worse tripping face at rivertowne pour house(restaurant/bar) i was feeling great and poo started melting and turning into weird poo so i flipped out wrecked the kitchen tore my shirt off in front of customers, called my manager a morbid obese porno cow and puked in her face then i climbed over the bar to get away from her and accidentally broke the tap housing off of the bar top and flooded the restaurant with free beer dove through a glass door got all kinds of sliced up and ran through monroeville pa half naked till the cops picked me up near route 22 mumbling about a mutant cow and how we should kill it. no charges were filed because i passed the sobriety test and the urinate in the cup drug test. and what the hell is this "pi"?
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Female 219
lol if ya gotta go out go out with a bang, i salute him for giving that bitch what was coming to her
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Male 30
Lol. Not rostered for any shift today.
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Male 315
fake
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Male 364
Pi to the 46th digit? Couldn`t have been that wasted... Seems like an appropriate activity for the pizza cutting area.
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Male 58
Translation: I want to fire him because I know "pi" up to the 2nd digit, and he beat me by 44 digits! LOL
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Male 1,081
They`re going to kill him?
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Male 109
That made my day....
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Male 11
IM RICK JAMEESSSSBITCH!
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Male 10,440
... looks like he wanted to go out in style.
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Male 4,014
meh
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Male 1,548
@jhflif
Idk what sh*tty Dominos you worked at, but we got bags of cake batter and special pans to cook them in.
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Male 1,931
drat YOUR COUCH!
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Female 1,894
hahahaha <3
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Male 1,625
Glorious.
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Male 1,598
He smeared lava cake mix over his face and yelled "I`m Rick James, bitch"

I would have laughed my ass off if I saw that.
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Male 4
sorry to say, this is a fake. there is no such thing as "lava cake mix". they come prepackaged in little tin foil cups.
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Male 222
May I answer for Sloth, Smilin? - "was not rostered on for any shift today"
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Male 1,054
how ignorant does one have to be to put the word pi in quotes like that?

10 years from now, that kid will own Domino`s.
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Female 3,598
@sloth, where are you getting that he wasn`t scheduled to work?
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Male 2,033
Hrm, can he actually be fired since he wasn`t scheduled to work? Seems like he was on his own time.
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Male 606
hey he didnt sign it yet!
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Male 38,496
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I`m Rick James BITCH! hahahahahaah

love it!


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Female 104
not scedualed for a shift that day just came in trippin balls.
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Female 2,927
nobody notice the "could only recite pi to the 64th digit." reference? classic.
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Male 1,744
"Team DPE"
Double Penetration Engineers? Where can I sign up!
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Male 876
@ danthew - Thanks for that man, now I`ll be singing that for a week.
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Male 876
"Go straddle a narwhal, you chlorinated gene pool"
Wow, that`s some Monty Python genius right there!
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Male 37,820
Um, @tyger95? "spelt" is the past tense of the word "spell"... OH THE IRONY! It BURNS!!!
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Female 1,515
@tyger
Spelt:
–verb
a pt. and pp. of spell .

via dictionary.com :P
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Male 2,121
And whilst on the subject of Narwhals, I restumbled on this the other day.
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Male 255
@tyger Never encountered the differences between American and British English? If you`re going to put that much drama in your response, at least be correct.
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Male 2,121
@tyger9575 "@Freyr108: "couldn`t help but notice that he spelt `narwhal` incorrectly"
Spelt? REALLY??? IRONY THY NAME IS Freyr108""

Spelt is the correct past participle of spell. Both spelled and spelt are valid. Ignorance thy name is tyger9575.
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Male 15,510
If you want to get fired, this is how you are suppose to do it
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Male 297
@Freyr108: "couldn`t help but notice that he spelt `narwhal` incorrectly"
Spelt? REALLY??? IRONY THY NAME IS Freyr108
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Male 698
LULZ
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Male 594
I want to be friends with this guy.
He seems to know how to party. : D w00t w00t.
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Male 244
So much win,


probably
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Female 382
Hahaha this is hilarious
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Male 2,516
well i think he was reciting numbers of pi, but in which order? haha. I call BS to them believing that was actually pi.

And I agree with Sonsglow, that was an unfunny idiot
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Male 203
couldn`t help but notice that he spelt `narwhal` incorrectly
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Female 2,674
Have you ever had Domino`s Lava Cake before? SO f*cking good... you`ll smear it all over your face too.
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Male 4,807
I just fired a guy for alsmost the same thing last week except he called me a polluted dung encrusted sperm whale.
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Male 208
Awww, is a sad state of our education system when the youth can only recite pi to the forty sixth digit, no wonder we are so far behind Japan.


On another note, You have to admit those must have been awesome pizzas he made.
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Male 491
Just a normal shift where I work.
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Male 493
That`s not epic or funny. Anybody can be an a$$hole. Hope he enjoys the kind of life that unfolds when you`re not even able to hold down a job at Domino`s.
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Male 2,121
The bit about pi makes me think BS.
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Male 705
Yes.
F*ckin YES!!!
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Male 101
I remember working at a movie theatre. I wrote my friend up for defecating in the popcorn warmer...It was fake of course, please don`t believe that someone would actually do that.
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Male 2
Absolutely EPIC!!! He probably wasn`t high, however. He was probably simply sick of working there. He wanted to go out in style, and I applaud him!
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Male 201
Epic? Sounds like an unfunny idiot.
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Male 376
Epic way to get fired!
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Male 5
I like how it was the assistant manager.
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Female 2,120
Dominos is cool.
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Male 263
Link: Most Epic On-The-Job Write-Up Ever [Rate Link] - I`ve had days at work I wish I could`ve done this.
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