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Category: Entertainment
Date: 12/28/10 11:30 AM

26 Responses to 5 Deleted Bible Scenes In Which Jesus Kicks Ass

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18499 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 10:56 am
    Link: 5 Deleted Bible Scenes In Which Jesus Kicks Ass - What would Jesus do? is Whatever the hell he wants.
  2. Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10722 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 11:50 am
  3. Profile photo of Baalthazaq
    Baalthazaq Male 18-29
    4548 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 11:56 am
    So... we moving the religious debate directly here I assume?
  4. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9311 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 11:59 am
    Wow, some messiah. >_>
  5. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11742 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 12:08 pm
    I love how a group of old farts decided which stories would be allowed into the Bible and which ones wouldn`t. It was one of the first instances of media spin. Those guys must be worshiped by Fox News.
  6. Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10722 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 12:10 pm
    @Baalthazaaq

    Gee I hope not
  7. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17515 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 12:48 pm
    Oh wonderful, Let`s start trying to include the heretical books that were written hundreds of years after Jesus died. There are good reasons why the Council of Nicaea did not include those books. They were isolated texts that had no second source, Kind of like the National Enquirer of their day.
  8. Profile photo of rammo34
    rammo34 Male 18-29
    1083 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 1:23 pm
    I have a sudden urge to convert to Christianity.



    Nah. I`ll pass.
  9. Profile photo of QueenZira
    QueenZira Female 18-29
    2228 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 1:24 pm
    Oh now this is cute/funny, seriously this is 20 different kinds of adorable. *Anyone* can gush over this.
  10. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 1:38 pm
    Holy cheesus
  11. Profile photo of phoneybone
    phoneybone Male 18-29
    1744 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 2:18 pm
    i lost it at
    "jesus wouldn`t just up and waste some kid.
    #3: Jesus Up and Wastes Some Kid "
  12. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25406 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 2:48 pm
    That was just dumb
  13. Profile photo of ParasyT
    ParasyT Male 13-17
    533 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 3:01 pm
    Then the Lord Jesus calling the serpent, it presently came forth and submitted to him; to whom he said, "Go and suck out all the poison which thou hast infused into that boy"; so the serpent crept to the boy, and took away all its poison again. Then the Lord Jesus cursed the serpent so that it immediately burst asunder, and died.

    -- First Gospel of Infancy 18:13-16

    That must mean.. Jesus could talk to snakes.. HE WAS A PARSEL MOUTH!! Oh crap, does that make him Salazar Slytherin?
  14. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31761 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 3:35 pm
    What would Cheesus do?
    *yawn*
    Boring post is BORING!
  15. Profile photo of Volsunga
    Volsunga Male 18-29
    1548 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 4:19 pm
    @crackrjak
    Some of the "heretical" books are just as "legitimate" (by the standards used) as the ones that the Council of Nicaea arbitrarily chose as the canon. The ones in this article are not good examples, but if you compare the "Apocalypse of Peter" to the "Revelation of John", Peter fits the council`s standards for canonization much better, but the Bishop of Turin specifically lobbied for a book that would demonize non-Christians. That and the Greek "Gospel of Thomas", as well as a few lost books were arbitrarily removed from the canon for the specific motive of pushing the agendas of the bishops.
  16. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9311 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 5:20 pm
    After rereading the whole bursting snake, I received the hilarious mental image of young Jesus glaring at the snake who looks very apologetic and then pointing at him with red glowing eyes.

    The snake starts trembling and then its head inflates like a balloon, bigger and bigger as air rushes into its cranium. The skin is at its limit and then BAMF! The snake`s head pops with an amusing burst sound like a party balloon filled with giblets and all the little children laugh and cheer like a pinata was just broken open.
  17. Profile photo of SomeShoes
    SomeShoes Male 13-17
    2056 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 7:36 pm
    jesus is a hacker
  18. Profile photo of enolamron
    enolamron Male 18-29
    197 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 7:39 pm
    I wonder why this is rated so low. I think it`s pretty interesting and cool, and helps display the idiocy of taking the Bible ...

    literally. You thought I was going to say seriously, didn`t you?
  19. Profile photo of Agent00Smith
    Agent00Smith Male 18-29
    2581 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 9:49 pm
    So this means you can make mistakes in your life and eventually turn it around and be a good person. Sounds about right.
  20. Profile photo of manorrd
    manorrd Male 30-39
    2372 posts
    December 28, 2010 at 10:03 pm
    This proves that the bible is crap, that there is no God, and that science and atheists have totally won the argument supporting this point of view.
  21. Profile photo of PierreJeanFR
    PierreJeanFR Male 40-49
    1360 posts
    December 29, 2010 at 3:26 am
    Tells us we all make mistakes when we are young. I used to believe in god in my youth.
  22. Profile photo of SwayzeCrazy4
    SwayzeCrazy4 Male 13-17
    234 posts
    December 29, 2010 at 7:48 am
    Jesus was a dick, apparently.
  23. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36176 posts
    December 29, 2010 at 8:54 am
    Here`s another missing book of the Bible!

  24. Profile photo of s0rd3dvis1on
    s0rd3dvis1on Male 18-29
    2389 posts
    December 29, 2010 at 8:26 pm
    the fact that jesus`s story has been told the same through so many different cultures and centuries apart proves aliens helped us evolve
  25. Profile photo of noxert323
    noxert323 Male 18-29
    226 posts
    December 30, 2010 at 6:45 am
    @mannord
    maybe so, but christians will argue incessantly about it anyways.

    Therefore I will continue to not give a crap and eat cheerios
  26. Profile photo of fivezones
    fivezones Male 40-49
    1021 posts
    December 30, 2010 at 9:53 am
    Really I-A-B? Most Jesus postings? I was hoping for Christmas you would get a pair of balls and be able to make fun of Allah for a change. I guess it`s just easier to be a coward site.

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