Twilight Book Series Spoiler Alert [Pic]

Submitted by: Fancys_Asst 6 years ago Funny

This is all you need to know about the Twilight series because really, who cares about the rest of the books?
There are 64 comments:
Female 129
Awesome books. :)
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Male 25,416
Lolz
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Male 65
Worst thing to happen to vampire stories since buffy.
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Male 1,451
Wrong way much? The first book should be on top, last on bottom. I, like most people, read from the front of the book to the back. Also, I, like a lot of people, will never read these books.
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Female 24
twilight: yay they met and they like each other!
(during those 1,748 pages edward is getting it in with the other fairies in the woods without ANYONE knowing.)
breaking dawn: yay they do it and edward could care less.
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Female 546
awesome series. well worth the wait. :)
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Female 430
NO WAY they did it finally !!! the worst series i ever see
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Male 2,868
@PTPete
Yeah, that`s the same feeling I get- bloodlust is the only lust they feel. There is definitely sensuality in the relationship between the characters, but no sexuality among the undead. Though it`s pretty obvious Lestat and Nicholas were f*cking before Lestat was changed.
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Female 1,236
I don`t believe Rice`s vamps ever f*cked on each other--the blood was the thing for them. Her vamp & witch books became the same mess of rich, immortal, ravishingly beautiful & perfectly boring characters. I loved the history she included in her books.
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Male 68
Gomay: And that`s not even starting on the books...
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Male 2,868
"wow could it get any gayer?"

Technically, while they are far superior to the Twilight series, Anne Rice`s Vampire Chronicles books are decidedly gayer. BTW- does anyone have any opinions as to whether vampires in her books actually have sex? She uses the word "lover" a lot to describe relationships between characters (Louis/Claudia, Louis/Armand, Lestat/Gabrielle, Lestat/Nicholas, Armand/Daniel), but never really describes any sexual interaction. She says that vampires can`t reproduce sexually, but never says they can`t actually have sex.
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Male 690
Oh and the werewolf can also tell you how good someone`s crap tastes
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Male 690
I don`t get the attraction to Twilight.

It stars a gay, sparkling, cold-blooded, centuries-old pedo vampire...basically a melting popsicle or a half-furry that spends probably most of his day at the tanning salon and can tell you what his dick tastes like and what his dad`s ass smells like.

The girl is no prize either. She`s average looking at best, looks like a vampire herself, and she has horrible taste in men and even then she`s incredibly indecisive.
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Female 212
Wolf man. Im a furry.
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Male 3,745
only reason i go to the twilight movies is to get laid...so what the girl screams eds name while IM the one getting laid...IM the one getting laid...looks like i got one more movie to look forward too
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Male 703
Pop quiz, iab, would you rather do it with:

A) a (technically) dead guy (no pulse, no breath, no warmth (hey no pulse, that means no boner, right?)), or

B) a (technically) half dog, half man (with all the implied rabbit-blood-stained teeth and chewing on his own crotch (hm, interesting idea))?
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Male 4,680
"It`s straight guys that don`t comment on handsome men... the rest of us are secure."
...Or maybe it`s because we don`t find guys attractive. Come on Gerry1of1, I thought you were better than this.

OT: Yah yah blah twilight sucks etc.
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Male 363
yes they are, now we will have movies to camp out for haha F**K Twilight overhyped teenie bopper series, ooooh a sparkly guy that`s cold to the touch? wow could it get any gayer? oh yeah lets throw werewolves in the plot too(because that isn`t over-used)
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Male 275
@Belunan

Amen

i hear they are making a movie out of it.
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Male 1,292
and because im staying on topic, boo twilight.
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Male 1,292
@Stane
Check out Joe Hill, aka. Stephen King`s son
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Male 3,076
haha every book should come with a chart like that :-P
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Male 1,505
"Dean Koontz and Stephen King FTW."

I doubt I will ever read anything better than the Dark Tower series.
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Male 76
Damn it! There`s still two more movies that has to be made before this whole fad burns out completely. At least it`s dying down a bit, but GOD is it a slow burn.
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Male 316
Dean Koontz and Stephen King FTW.
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Female 1,095
I feel ashamed for having read every page. Pissed me off when I found out I read all that poo just for the big huge fight to never happen. What a bitch move Stephanie.
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Female 200
*hate Twilight.

wow
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Female 200
I am an unashamed lover of chick-lit. I will read it until I leave this earth. And even I
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Male 244
Like every other book that every other girl reads....
long....
tedious...
boring...
AND THEN
Crappy ending.

Thank you, books. You`ve made my day.
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Male 1,629
for once gerry1of1 makes sense
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Male 2,419
@okami
pages have these things called numbers on the corner, you can just read the LAST one for each book

durp durp durp
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Male 4,004
Little girl drats a vampire....how romantic.

Girls these day and age are way too easy to impress.
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Male 336
...they`re stacked in the wrong direction.
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Male 37,910
all I know is Vampires DO NOT twinkle in sunlight

`nuff said
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Male 95
you dont have to count the pages... its just math.
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Female 94
who went to the trouble of counting all the pages?
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Male 364
Time to give my daughter the bad news...
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Male 12,365
Having said that, though...who makes the most money? Twilight sells by the shipload. It`s rubbish, but it`s rubbish that a lot of people want. So maybe the author has a lot of sense.
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Male 12,365
The best review of Twilight that I`ve seen is on the covers for a different series by a different author (Morganville series by Rachel Caine). It advises dumping the Twilight books and buying that series instead. Pretty cutting for an official review.

The target market is still YA, but it`s young *adult* as opposed to young adolescent. It has content as opposed to filler. It has vampires that would make the Twilight crew pee themselves. And those are the nicer ones, the ones who are usually content to treat humans as serfs/blood banks. Which is much nicer than what the other ones prefer.
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Male 37,910
regediT - Yes I`m a sissy boy. As coffeekoneko said married to the same guy 20 years.

Confused from my posts? Well, I may be a fudge-packer but that doesn`t mean I can`t comment on a pretty girl or handsome guy.

It`s straight guys that don`t comment on handsome men... the rest of us are secure.
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Male 1,378
no thanks
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Male 36,542
Lolz! Not that I`d read that drek, even if I was paid...
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Male 15,510
Can we just bury the whole Twilight stuff and pretend it never existed?
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Female 839
LOL @ Hiromi
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Female 2,674
Ya, no sh*t. I had to sweat that one out for years. And it wasn`t even fappable... no mention of a sparkly c*ck or anything. Lame.
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Male 716
@coffeekoneko: Yes, I guess the only `hilarious` approach is to assume I`m gay myself, which is incorrect.
And I`m not homophobic, I`m just a bit f*cking tired of seeing the same sh*t over and over again. It`s like most things, repeating stuff over and over again makes it f*cking boring. Capiche?
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Female 1,623
Yeah, I knew that. A friend of mine was reading the books and told me, naturally I didn`t give a f*ck.

And if it wasn`t for Ashley Greene I would have killed myself after I was dragged by my gf to see the first movie.
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Female 1,652
And now a bunch of teen fantasies now involve biting pillows and breaking beds.
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Female 1,148
Bella`s overbite took up 1,748 pages..
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Female 1,008
regediT-

Yes.
Gerry has been married to a man for about 20 years. :)

Also I it`s totally not worth it to read the page where they "do it". You don`t even get the details of penetration or anything.
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Male 1,196
gay
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Male 3,057
@ Cain523: That was mildly ignorant.
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Male 213
I`d like to thank who posted this for saving me countless hours of mind-numbing,needless reading.
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Male 716
Is gerry1of1 gay, guys? I dunno it`s just so f*cking hard to draw a conclusion. I`m completely f*cking lost...
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Male 37,910
there`s only one reason to watch those movies...





to stare at that hot Wolf-Boy!



woof!
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Male 50
who









































































cares
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Male 901
It took him that long to get in her pants?!? I`d be out of there before the end of the first.

Vampires don`t f-ing sparkle.
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Female 3,574
yep
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Male 5,620
lol
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Male 2,441
Still lame
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Male 1,455
Collective suicide!

Right?
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Male 583
woooooo
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Female 1,435
o rly?
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Female 1,780
Link: Twilight Book Series Spoiler Alert [Pic] [Rate Link] - This is all you need to know about the Twilight series because really, who cares about the rest of the books?
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