This Is Why You`re Fat.... Canada?

Submitted by: epicmealtime 6 years ago in Funny

It"s a 20"" French-toasted Parisian baguette, poutine, quebecois steamy, bacon sandwich covered in 100% pure maple syrup
There are 132 comments:
Male 5,413
AH MAN I WANT!
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Male 87
Hahahaha, so defensive. Your name is pancake man. There are fat people EVERYWHERE. I promise. The fat sandwich is a NJ native, go to Nelly`s in Long Branch or hit the grease trucks up at Rutgers if you want to see some real abominations.
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Male 17
First off, they aren`t French Canadians. Secondly, you Americans are calling ANYBODY else fat???
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Male 245
That was probably the most appealing of the ridiculous food things I`ve seen, save the cheese curds.
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Male 8
ewwww sticky
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Female 3,598
the end did it for me. i was kinda like, eh i`ve seen this whole "epic food" thing before. but i loved that comment. win.
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Male 23
I`d go to poutine joints in my university town and get a "slyder":
-Poutine and Bacon wrapped in a Pita

Utter heaven... if you`re wasted.
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Female 6
Jesus keerist That Is nasty epic sick wrong and kinda looks tasty....
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Female 18
I feel so ashamed ... and hungry
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Female 80
i dont think it needed the weenies
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Male 1,371
@shizzamX

Because they`re Canadian.
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Male 229
@shizzamX, It is probably something like farmer grade 100% pure maple syrup. It`s the only thing I can think of.
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Male 24
A WORK OF ART!
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Female 2,695
why is their maple syrup in a can?
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Female 1,203
-_- eeeeeeewwwwwwwww... I couldn`t even finish watching the video! and @ KMRocky-exactly!
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Female 668
someone get me a poutine STAT. I`m dyin ova hurr!
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Male 661
Ahhh see, you would think that would make for a load of fat French Canadians, but not so! They smoke so many cigarettes and drink so much Pepsi that their metabolism is amped. Combine that with all the yelling about distinct society and separation and you have massive calorie usage!

I kid, I kid, please, put down the ice fishing auger!
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Male 1,164
I came.

But in all honestly, fatness in the north still isn`t as rampant as it is in the US, unless the province I live in is abnormally abundant in skinny people and all the American places I visit are fatness hotspots.

Or perhaps people in Canada just have better metabolisms. Genetics? Someone should do a study on this.

And British people are fat. And ugly. But they`re funny.
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Male 85
I freakin hate these guys.
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Female 324
Being an American/Canadian, my Canadian buddies often make fun of my American buddies for being fatties. I think this sandwich pretty much makes them Equals in the fatty department. Not to mention both countries have, burger king, Mc Donald`s, Pizza Hut, KFC.... CANADA AND THE US ARE EQUAL FATTIES!!
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Male 767
a sandwich like that; id need a glass of peanut butter to wash it down
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Female 2,927
i love stuff like this. there`s always this "fat american" crap then you find out canada has this, the fried twinkie was invented buy an englishman. so was the giant kit kat come to think of it. who`s calling kettle black?
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Male 2,436
Oh for Christ`s sakes... DIP IT IT BATTER, DEEP FRY IT AND COVER IT WITH CHILI! F**king Canadians... f**cking amatuers...
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Male 845
FINALLY!!! a role model
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Male 45

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Male 588
Now that the Olympics are long over, Canada welcomes the world with new tourism commercials advertising our culinary specialties!

:-p
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Male 577
I had not heard of poutine before. At first it sounded nasty, but the more I think about it, the more I want to try some.
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Male 150
i freaking love poutine.
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Male 491
"Its funny how the dudes that ate the sandwich, aren`t actually fat at all..."

Wash that mess down with a cup of Tim Horton`s coffee and it will go right on through.
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Male 25
I think one of my arteries just clogged up.
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Male 307
Please, God - let me try this before I die. *drools*
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Female 423
poutine is the best thing to be found in a fast-food
actually the only good thing...
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Male 491
quebecois steamy- I pay extra for that in the red light district.
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Female 9,558
@Durrell actually the Native Americans have that claim to fame. Anyway that looks nasty.
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Female 246
this made me realize how hungry i am. so hungry. very hungry. want. and a tiger.
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Male 136
@stephg08"mmm poutine. best canadian invention ever...well besides hockey i guess but those are 2 different things alltogether."

i beg to differ, i think that lacrosse is the best thing we Canadians invented, however poutine is damn close
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Male 136
you see the key here is we Canadians will only do crap like this for the epic video. hence why we`re not fat.

however this sandwich look AWESOME
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Female 4,225
and I thought poutine was a heart attack on a plate
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Male 91
This looks so good.
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Male 25,417
That looks gross!
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Male 2,056
looks okay, all that maple syrup wasn`t necessary though
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Male 2,855
too bad is impossible to eat without getting sticky hands
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Female 198
"Lightweights!!!

Wannabees like this is the reason that Canada will never be as fat as America."

LMFAO hahahaha wow. you must be a fat a$$ to say that.
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Female 198
mmm poutine. best canadian invention ever...well besides hockey i guess but those are 2 different things alltogether.
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Female 513
Ah davymid, you`re officially a Newfoundlander now! You just have to have kitchen parties and wait for mummering during Christmas time.

I`d also suggest on stocking up on anything you can cook. As you`re aware now, Newfies cannot cook. They boil.
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Male 216
Hot Dog in a sandwich...pure genius.
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Male 560
That looks really good.
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Male 17
I would SOOO eat that!!!! (thank you Canada) :)
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Male 1,182
what is poutine?
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Male 14,331
Great now I want poutine.
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Female 4,039
Looks a little sticky, but a lotta good.
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Male 267
"man why did these mother F*ckers drag us down with you guys...... its a sad day up north"

Idk, it improves my outlook on Canada knowing that some entertaining people actually do exist there. They`re a major step up from justin beiber
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Male 338
meh, three guys sharing a sandwich
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Female 169
Its funny how the dudes that ate the sandwich, aren`t actually fat at all...
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Male 6,694
I think I would have left the hotdog off. Oh well. Im not making this anyway.
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Male 16
man why did these mother F*ckers drag us down with you guys...... its a sad day up north
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Male 1,629
looked alright, the hotdog buns were overkill though. would just weigh you down
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Male 1,129
you know what that is... no you dont because i just made it up..

bahaahaha
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Male 2,419
@kitten
if you get rid of the eggs it`s no longer french toast, it`s just a piece of bread that happens to be french in origin
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Male 1,299
This > Double Down
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Male 2,528
Lightweights!!!

Wannabees like this is the reason that Canada will never be as fat as America.
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Female 1,172
That poutine looked sooooo good.
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Male 221
I think that eating sick would be tastier.
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Female 3,828
OMG i fudgein love poutine. drooling now.
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Male 2,593
That one you could count me in on
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Male 2,552
Oooooooo I so want that. And I miss Canada.
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Female 956
btw, you`re all crazy with the hotdog hatred.

I would so eat that with the hot dogs in it, just take the eggs out. >.<
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Male 8
Needs moar cheese.
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Female 956
I`d like to see them eat that tiger
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Male 5,314
canada is slightly cooler in my eyes now
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Female 7,997
Apart from the hot dogs that looked ok, but perhaps a smaller portion!
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Male 759
Next these guys can figure out how to make a decent cheeseburger. Come on Canada! It`s mind boggling that a country with such wonderful bacon and beer could totally miss the cheeseburger.
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Female 42
Without the hotdogs I`d totally try a bite.
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Female 142
I want to know where that poutine came from! It looks SO GOOD. They don`t usually have that much cheese or gravy!
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Male 2,419
wtf? hot dogs? they want to add the taste of new york street meat or something?
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Male 436
I can not stand it when syrup touches bacon or eggs on my plate, and these guys drenched them both in it. Nasty!
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Female 1,589
That baguette looked more like a giant sub sandwich bun. Baguettes are supposed to have a crunchy crust, not all soft like that.
And besides the hot dogs, the thing looked okay. Substitute the bacon for Canadian bacon, and THEN it`s a real Angry French Canadian sandwich.
Maybe add in some beaver tails as well.
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Male 1,598
Looked really gross...
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Male 15,832
Sorry but the hotdogs are a definite combo breaker. A much better addition would have been pigs in a blanket -- sausage links rolled in pancakes. It would have added even more grease, and the pancakes would soak up more syrup.
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Male 3,631
"Once again, the conservative Sangwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the Hungry Investor!"
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Female 3,696
Davy, you are a gentleman and a scholar!
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Male 12,138
I would just like to point out that I achieved a Personal Best on that last Spammer, in all my 5 or so years moderating this site.



Spammer Life Expectancy (SLE) of 82 seconds. That`s pretty good, even for IAB.
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Male 5,194
I was ok with it till the hotdog buns. Too much starch. Should have added a layer of smoked salmon.
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Female 3,696
Hahah is it weird that I thoroughly enjoy Screech?
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Female 3,696
What the hell is cheese curd?

When you make cheese-there`s a part of the process where the cheese is basically just small lumps of fresh unprocessed cheese. Usually the curds are drained and pressed into blocks and then aged to make cheddar cheese. =D
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Male 12,138
[quote]davymid, have you been Screeched In yet? ;) Don`t forget to try some fish`n brews. [/quote]
Oh, got screeched in years ago my dear. Though I must confess I was slightly worse for wear at the time. Here`s me (foreground) contemplating what mistakes in life had lead me this point of actually drinking Screech...



Apart from the fish n brewis, I`ve also had the dubious pleasure of consuming cod tongues, bottled moose, salt meat, seal-flipper pie and other local Newfoundland "delicacies". All of them as f*cking nasty as they sound. Especially the pie.
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Female 513
davymid, have you been Screeched In yet? ;)

Don`t forget to try some fish`n brews.
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Male 5,189
Om nom nom nom...again! Because it looks yummy. D:
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Male 58
PS your little girl is my awww!! of the day =D
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lol, isn`t she a cutie? Good looks just run in my family lol (she is my niece btw)
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Female 533
I was down with this sandwich until they took the stuff in the tin bowl out, I wanted to puke just from the sight of it *shudders*
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Male 9
2:07 THE HESITATION!!!
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Male 12,138
[quote]BTW Davy, how are you enjoying your move to Canada so far?[/quote]
Loving it with a deep burning passion, buddy. Best place in the world, and I`ve been to a few. Mind you, it`s St John`s Newfoundland, can`t say I know too much of the rest of the country (yet).

[quote]What the hell is cheese curd?[/quote]
Think halfway between cheese and butter. With all the deliciousness that involves.
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Male 153
What the hell is cheese curd?
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Male 1,744
mmmm tiger
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Female 3,696
Sway, I`ve noticed a lot of places here in BC don`t add the cheese curds in, they just put regular cheese in it.

That doesn`t surprise me due to the terribly short life span proper curds have. Mmmm when you get poutine with fresh cheese curds made that morning.........!! omnomnomnom
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Female 3,696
you can`t have poutine without the cheese!
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tbh, I though it was optional lol. Harvey`s here just put Gravy on top.
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silly Harvey`s! I`m pretty sure Poutine actually started out with just the cheese and fries and then gravy sauce was added later to help keep the fries hot and melting the cheese as an added bonus!

PS your little girl is my awww!! of the day =D
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Male 1,116
Ok, now i really want to try poutine. To Canada!
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Male 1,292
@Skabashas
classically its typically consisting of fries, gravy, and cheese curds, however for an awesome homemade version just some hard shredded cheese, add salt and pepper or even a bit of vinegar to your leisure.

now smoke a joint after you make it and eat until you want/need to puke.
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Male 770
sweet awsomeness
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Male 1
The Poutine is explained in the video. I also believe cinnamon would have been a great addition.
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Female 513
Skabashas,
Poutine is french fries, gravy, and cheese curds. Quite possibly one of the most delicious foods of all time. Right up there with Smarties and Tim Horton`s donuts.
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Male 5,189
OM NOM NOM NOM.
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Male 32
Somehow this makes me proud.
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Male 58
you can`t have poutine without the cheese!
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tbh, I though it was optional lol. Harvey`s here just put Gravy on top.
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Male 1,256
"Can one of the bored Canadians please explain what a poutine is? "

"Poutine is a serving of french fries with a special type of cheese ontop of it called cheese curds and then you pour gravy ontop which melts the cheese :)"

I NEED POUTINE NOW. RIGHT NOW.
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Male 146
Sway, I`ve noticed a lot of places here in BC don`t add the cheese curds in, they just put regular cheese in it.
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Male 146
Haha oh man, I really want one of those :/

BTW Davy, how are you enjoying your move to Canada so far?
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Female 3,696
@soccadude

you can`t have poutine without the cheese!
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Female 3,696
the curd, I think is the most important part of poutine, because cheese curds are very fresh cheddar cheese and they go bad very quickly so proper cheese curds are usually only available places where there are cheese factories. You know it`s a good cheese curd if you bite it and it squeaks!
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Male 58
lol Damnit. 3 Canadians explained poutine while I was writing my comment
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Male 58
Can one of the bored Canadians please explain what a poutine is?
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A bowl of fries with gravy on top. Some people add shredded cheese to it as well.
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Female 1,593
Can one of the bored Canadians please explain what a poutine is?

---

Fries with cheese curds and gravy.
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Female 3,696
Can one of the bored Canadians please explain what a poutine is?

Poutine is a serving of french fries with a special type of cheese ontop of it called cheese curds and then you pour gravy ontop which melts the cheese :)
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Male 56
We`re so great.
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Female 3,696
There there Davymid...look at it this way- in America that sandwich would have only been one serving?
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Male 1,256
Can one of the bored Canadians please explain what a poutine is?
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Male 39,576
no.

the syrup is just way too much.

Use ketchup.... it` counts as a serving of vegetables
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Male 1,378
YEAH, THEY`RE SO FAT
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Male 2,402
Okay that`s a man vs. food challenge right there. Someone call Adam!
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Male 40,343
Mmmmm! Less syrup, more bacon on mine please!
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Male 12,138
As an Irishman who emigrated to Canada about 8 months ago, I just tonight felt enough at home in my new surrogate home-country to change my location status from "Europe" to "Canada".

This makes me want to change it back.
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Male 58
Straight from the tit&#65279; of the mother maple tree
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Male 159
If it weren`t for the hot dogs that would be pretty good. Poutine is awesome.
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Male 667
Death what are you waiting for?
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Female 1,427
"Very typical of Quebec, they are a lot more in tune with their hedonistic side than most of Canada."

It`s because they can`t decide if they`re trying to be American, or French.

So they take the fattest parts of both.
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Male 1,116
Too much maple syrup.
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Male 553
I felt sicking watching this... What the hell is wrong with me??? I used to be able to eat a bunch of stuff and feel good about it... Am I catching the old????!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhahahah >.<
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Male 99
that looks so good
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Male 391
Very typical of Quebec, they are a lot more in tune with their hedonistic side than most of Canada.
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Male 490
Epic meal time indeed, epicmealtime.
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Male 15,510
Canada can do it too
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Male 14
Link: This Is Why You`re Fat.... Canada? [Rate Link] - It`s a 20`` French-toasted Parisian baguette, poutine, quebecois steamy, bacon sandwich covered in 100% pure maple syrup
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