Genius Thief Swipes Car With A Few Beer Cans

Submitted by: dada 6 years ago Funny

If you"re going to commit grand theft auto, keep it simple... and brilliant.
There are 82 comments:
Male 25,416
IF thats real! bravo!
0
Reply
Female 1,515
Wow Altaru`s gotta hold the record for the most amount of facepalm pictures in one comments section of a video.
0
Reply
Female 1,356
feel kinda bad for the lady,
got her car stolen in such a simple, avoidable, and lame manner.
0
Reply
Female 3,001
although steeling is wrong, this is still brilliant!
0
Reply
Female 3,598
wow, that is so genius!!!
0
Reply
Male 3,915
on a not warring note between siyanor and altaru

that was so balls awesome....i like her:

"oh no, my car is like totally being stolen...oh darn it....oh darn..."

good effort there lady....failtronic...
0
Reply
Male 3,482
[quote]BTW, you`d have to have 20/20 vision to be able to see EXACTLY where that guy`s hands were in the video.[/quote]
No, you just have to do a little estimation on how long his arms are, how far he reached his arms under (you can still see him resting on his left elbow, so he couldn`t have reached in more than one arm`s length), and see where the tire bulges out a little as compared to how far out the rear bumper protrudes.

I got cut off when I tried to say this last time, but... Quit while your behind, dude. Seriously, you`re already running in the Special Olympics, at the very least cross the starting line.



Game over, man, game over. You lost. Just STFU and accept it.

Unless you`re trolling, in which case, please continue. Troll bait`s actually pretty tasty when I`m bored...
0
Reply
Male 3,482
[quote]"Even if the cans WERE to end up jammed in the axle"

You just won the stupidity award. Congratulations.

I may not know anything about cars, but at least I can read English.[/quote]
Okay, Mr. English Major, please explain to me how ELSE you can explain a can in such a tight space that it could stop the axle?

This is your typical argument, Siyanor, and not only does it NEVER WORK, but it just makes you look THAT MUCH MORE RETARDED. "Oh, he actually refuted my point! Well, that`s alright, because it means something totally different from what I actually said..."
0
Reply
Male 1,184
BTW, you`d have to have 20/20 vision to be able to see EXACTLY where that guy`s hands were in the video.

You quite clearly don`t, since you mentioned cans being jammed in the axle, which quite clearly never happened.
0
Reply
Male 1,184
"Even if the cans WERE to end up jammed in the axle"

You just won the stupidity award. Congratulations.

I may not know anything about cars, but at least I can read English.
0
Reply
Male 3,482
[quote]It doesn`t have anything to do with force, it has to do with volume.[/quote]


I`d also like to know just what the hell kind of science class you`re taking where the concept of cans or a string stopping a spinning axle has to do with VOLUME, as opposed to FRICTION, which is a FORCE.

Even if the cans WERE to end up jammed in the axle, it wouldn`t provide enough friction to stop the axle. The spinning piece of heavy metal would just warp the thin aluminum to fit, then grind it down to a hot, very smooth piece of aluminum.

And, just building on the point that it wasn`t tied to the axle, you also have very poor depth perception. The guy didn`t even reach under to his ELBOWS, let alone up the where the wheels are (which, by the way, would be where the axle would be).

Seriously, dude, just quit while you`re behind. You`re already running in the Special Olympics, don`t come
0
Reply
Male 3,482
[quote]I don`t see how it`s easier to tie a string to the rear bumper than it is to tie it to an axle. Because of the shape of the bumper, it would take a much longer length of string, and it could easily slip off.[/quote]


Actually, Siyanor, I have to thank you. I`ve been wanting to use that one for quite a while.

You know absolutely f*ck all about vehicles don`t you? I know more and I`ve never actually gone under one myself.

For one thing, you`d actually have to get more-or-less UNDERNEATH the car to get to the axle. For another, there are pieces that hold the bumper in place, among others parts, that you could tie it too. And before you cay ANYTHING, YES, those pieces include the ones attached to the bumper itself, and as such can be referred to as part of the bumper itself. I know how you love your semantic arguments.
0
Reply
Male 2,788
Stupidity and complexity in this thread astonishes me.
0
Reply
Male 1,184
I don`t see how it`s easier to tie a string to the rear bumper than it is to tie it to an axle. Because of the shape of the bumper, it would take a much longer length of string, and it could easily slip off.

A small rat doesn`t need to rotate inside a small space... I`m pretty sure an axle does. If that space is blocked, it can`t rotate very far. It doesn`t have anything to do with force, it has to do with volume.
0
Reply
Female 1,236
Fake. And pointless in an unamusing way.
0
Reply
Male 12,365
Cut off before 1000 as usual...

...break a high quality steel cable 1cm thick.

It`s much harder to break a high quality steel cable 1cm thick than it is to break a piece of string.

Look at it another way...even an economy-orientated car is 100 times as powerful as a strong working horse. If you got 100 strong workhorses, put some sort of harnesses on them and attached all the harnesses to a single piece of string, do you think the string could hold back those 100 workhorses if they wanted to be off?
0
Reply
Male 12,365
[quote]"i) It wasn`t tied to the axle."

Then what the hell was it tied to?[/quote]

The rear bumper is the most likely things. Possibly some other part of the bodywork.

Why the hell would he tie it to the axle when there are far easier things to tie it to.

[quote]"ii) Why on earth would a piece of string stop something as powerful as a large herd of horses?"

According to what I know about physics, which isn`t much, either 1) the axle will stop moving or 2) the string will break. If neither is true, please explain why.[/quote]

Quite apart from the extreme unlikelihood of it being on the axle in the first place, give a little thought to the forces and materials involved.

The friction between a few cans and the road wouldn`t be enough to stop a small rat, let alone a car.

A mass of ~1500Kg and a 0-60 time of ~9s are reasonable figures for an average car. That requires ~4600N of force. That will b
0
Reply
Male 319
I`ve actually done this to people as a joke. Hell, my brother was doing this to people 25 years ago, and he isn`t too clever. I`m guessing this has been around quite some time.
0
Reply
Male 422
Fake, she would notice the suspension moving as he jumped in, and she would nto hear the sound for a while
ah well, clever idea anyway
0
Reply
Male 3,482
*I meant that, despite my calling this video fake, what happened in the video has probably happened in real life before.

Also, I`m sorry about the multi-posting, but IAB doesn`t like having multiple sets of quote and images in one post.
0
Reply
Male 840
Looks to me like this is a set-up claiming to be shot by a security camera. I doubt this is real.
0
Reply
Male 3,482
[quote]Also, I`d completely ignore the sound unless I kept hearing it for a long time. She heard a sound ONCE and got out of her car?[/quote]



Keep it comin`, I got loads of them.


On topic: This video looks pretty staged, if only because of the perfect placement of the camera, the focus on the cans, etc. I`m sure it`s happened before, I`m sure it will happen again in the near future.
0
Reply
Male 3,482
[quote]Perhaps a string wrapping around could cause it to stop moving, I wouldn`t know. [/quote]
0
Reply
Male 3,482
[quote]Wait...How was he able to drive off if the woman couldn`t move the car?[/quote]
0
Reply
Male 1,184
"i) It wasn`t tied to the axle."

Then what the hell was it tied to?

"ii) Why on earth would a piece of string stop something as powerful as a large herd of horses?"

According to what I know about physics, which isn`t much, either 1) the axle will stop moving or 2) the string will break. If neither is true, please explain why.

Also, I did type "unless I kept hearing it for a long time." Did you miss that? She was driving for half a second. Half a second is not a long time. My immediate reaction would not be "OH NO PARTS ARE FALLING OFF MY CAR!!" It would be "someone threw a can on the ground."
0
Reply
Male 1,929
I think the CSI-style mega-focus on the beer cans makes my think that this is a bit staged or something.
0
Reply
Male 958
@rainbowfarts-

Your telling me they get out to go to the back to take it off and u gotta get in, back that poo up, shift, then drive away without him seeing your face your nuts. Also all they gotta do is report it stolen. You better do this poo 10 mins from the border cuz ur never gunna make it lol
0
Reply
Male 37,888
Quakor - "Not our problem you guys are stupid"

That is a brilliant response. And I agree, we are.
0
Reply
Male 2,855
Thursday, November 11, 2010 6:45:12 AM
living on Mexico`s border, car theft is a huge problem. They can get to the safe zone of Meh-Hee-Coe in 15 minutes.

a local reporter checked the VIN numbers on the Tijuana Police cars and found 2/3rds of them were stolen U.S. cars.

But sure, let`s just throw our border open and welcome these people in droves...

Not our problem you guys are stupid
0
Reply
Male 221
If your that clever... why havn`t you got a job?
0
Reply
Male 1,148
That is just too brilliant. Something to look out for then.
0
Reply
Female 798
There`s another method where they put a piece of paper on your back windshield, you don`t notice until you check your rear view mirror when you`re about to pull out and when you go to take it off they steal your car.
0
Reply
Male 315
That takes some slick ass moves right there
0
Reply
Male 15,510
Notice: the driver must be a girl
0
Reply
Male 558
ah yeah, hello officer... yeah, I would like to report my car being stolen by Larry the cable guy.
GIT `ER DUN!
0
Reply
Male 6,694
Briliant. She is hott.
0
Reply
Male 2,670
Coming soon: A video of this same clever thief being shot in the face. It`s a laugh-riot!
0
Reply
Male 243
I like this guys style.
0
Reply
Male 37,888
living on Mexico`s border, car theft is a huge problem. They can get to the safe zone of Meh-Hee-Coe in 15 minutes.

a local reporter checked the VIN numbers on the Tijuana Police cars and found 2/3rds of them were stolen U.S. cars.

But sure, let`s just throw our border open and welcome these people in droves...
0
Reply
Male 3,364
O...M....G!
0
Reply
Male 2,670
The really funny bit happens after our enterprising young car thief ends up in prison. That`s if you consider anal rape funny. He probably won`t.
0
Reply
Male 24
This one may be a fake, but this happends a lot over here (Amsterdam). Not just beer cans, but pieces of paper behind your back window etc. The bulgarian maffia is very creative.
0
Reply
Male 561
if he`s a thief, then he`s not a genius now is he?
0
Reply
Female 7,833
I don`t care if it is real or fake- it is quite clever and funny. wonder how many people will try it now?
0
Reply
Male 3,314
People have a schedule. If he wanted the car, he could have watched her for a few days to see when she came. I`d have fallen for it, but I drive a mini-van. Not a big target for auto theft.
0
Reply
Male 255
I like how the "security camera" is only covering 2-3 parking spots. B-|
0
Reply
Male 284
lol @ rynEnigma. My feelings exactly. Plus you made it humorous. Kudos to you good sir.
0
Reply
Male 193
You guys are joking right? You cant actually thing this is real. How could you hear the sound of cans dragging on the ground behind your car. Not only did she hear it but she stopped before the cans moved a few feet.
Also aren`t you wondering how the cans are zoomed in on and look crystal clear? I guarantee you David Caruso was not sitting behind the computer saying "enhance... enhance... There! Thats a finger print on the coke can", "Looks like someone is about to get canned"
YYYYEEEAAAAAAHHHHHhhhhhh
0
Reply
Male 769
well if it was a pay and display car park, all he had to do was check the ticket to see when she would roughly be coming back to the car.
0
Reply
Male 3,076
holy poo that clever as hell NICE but not funny if it`s your car hehe
0
Reply
Male 3,412
I`m sorry. I misread the clock. 36 minutes. Still an awful short time for this to be coincidental.
0
Reply
Male 3,412
I do agree with I-Is-Bored. But it can be explained by saying that she stopped to look to see if a car was coming the way she couldn`t see (in this case probably the right). However I find it convenient that he tied the cans on, and only had to wait 12 minutes before she came for her car. Either he`s really lucky, was stalking her, knowing her schedule, or this is a hoax. I`m going to say the latter.
0
Reply
Male 116
or you can put a piece of paper on their back windshield. they wont see it until they start to drive, then when they get out to get it off, you jump in
0
Reply
Male 955
you idiots arguing about her braking, some people brake as they pull out of the parking spot instead of just gunning it right when they shift into gear.
0
Reply
Male 2,419
"Don`t drive, do you? You put the brakes on when you put it in drive, so your car doesn`t, you know, shoot forward uncontrollably and also drat up your gears."
she started her car, we get brake lights, she shifts gears, lights go off, then before the car manages to roll forward enough to pull the cans her lights come back on again. please read ALL of what i say, i said her lights came back on before the cans even moved, while the car was rolling just a tiny bit

it`s either staged or she has reflexes that penetrate time and the person who bought this surveillance camera REALLY cares about that one parking spot
0
Reply
Male 12,365
[quote]...I`m not a mechanical engineer. I don`t know how axles work. Perhaps a string wrapping around could cause it to stop moving, I wouldn`t know.[/quote]

i) It wasn`t tied to the axle.
ii) Why on earth would a piece of string stop something as powerful as a large herd of horses?


[quote]Also, I`d completely ignore the sound unless I kept hearing it for a long time. She heard a sound ONCE and got out of her car? Who would ever do that?[/quote]

Me. Would you really rather drive around for a long time with something either stuck to or falling off your car because you couldn`t be bothered to see what it was *in a car park when you had just started moving*? Seriously? Do bits fall off your car and drag on the ground so often that you don`t notice any more?
0
Reply
Male 955
holy crap lol
0
Reply
Female 15
@corpsecrank, no, it would have been illegal since you can`t use deadly force against a nonviolent fleeing criminal
0
Reply
Male 703
lol, this is one of those posts where you gotta wonder why people would bother thinking it`s fake. Some strange things in life actually DO happen, get used to it :P
0
Reply
Male 928
My question is this. If she would have had a gun and a permit for that gun and shot this guy as he was driving away would that have been legal?
0
Reply
Male 2,441
Brilliant lol
0
Reply
Male 2,553
Sorry, carOWNER version.
0
Reply
Male 2,553
>Siyanor
A car version of a hypochondriac.
0
Reply
Male 313
That`s classic Redistribution!
0
Reply
Male 421
Mazda 3? Good choicer for a car to steal!
0
Reply
Male 125
@LameName "Cuz you`re a dumbass."

That`s golden!
0
Reply
Female 683
I don`t think she drove far enough for it to make a loud enough noise. *scratches head*
0
Reply
Male 1,195
I`m want to do that to 50 Cent`s car.
0
Reply
Male 1,184
...I`m not a mechanical engineer. I don`t know how axles work. Perhaps a string wrapping around could cause it to stop moving, I wouldn`t know.

Also, I`d completely ignore the sound unless I kept hearing it for a long time. She heard a sound ONCE and got out of her car? Who would ever do that?
0
Reply
Male 251
@I-IS-BORED

Don`t drive, do you? You put the brakes on when you put it in drive, so your car doesn`t, you know, shoot forward uncontrollably and also drat up your gears.

Stop assuming everything on the internet is fake so you can show how smart you are when you try to prove it.
0
Reply
Male 1,083
it does look staged. she needs to work on her "omfg my car is being stolen!" run.
0
Reply
Female 255
Siyanor: She was able to drive it, she just stopped because she heard a metal-on-pavement type sound. So she stopped to investigate...
0
Reply
Female 238
Siyanor "Wait...How was he able to drive off if the woman couldn`t move the car?"

Cuz you`re a dumbass.
0
Reply
Male 67
looked faked to me but whatever :P
0
Reply
Male 11,740
@Siyanor, she could move it. She started driving off and stopped to check out the sound coming from the back (caused by the beer cans).

But I call BS. How convenient was it that there just happened to be a camera in that exact spot in the parking lot? It was a setup.
0
Reply
Male 575
@Siyanor: She could move the car, it`s just that she thought something was wrong with it, since the cans make noise.
0
Reply
Male 2,419
@Siyanor
she could move, she got out because she heard the cans (how did you think beer cans were gonna stop the car?)

but what doesn`t make sense is her brake lights come on before the cans move, she was going to stop for no reason and then just happened to hear the cans? no, staged.
0
Reply
Male 1,184
Wait...How was he able to drive off if the woman couldn`t move the car?
0
Reply
Male 5,194
Cop pulls him over at the first light.
0
Reply
Male 2,436
Brilliant!
0
Reply
Male 541
dang, that sucks.
0
Reply
Female 78
Link: Genius Thief Swipes Car With A Few Beer Cans [Rate Link] - If you`re going to commit grand theft auto, keep it simple... and brilliant.
0
Reply