What The Barista (Coffee Jerk) Thinks Of You [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago in Funny

A simple, but informative chart that tells you exactly what coffee baristas think about you based solely on race.
There are 115 comments:
Female 688
i order ice tea.. sorry mister barista.
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Male 180
Only funny part was the soccer mom`s order, so so true.
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Female 329
People from india can make chai....
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Male 2,576
@PranaDevil

Really? Gee, I wonder why coffee started a great cultural revolution then.
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Male 40
British - Realize that coffee is drating awful, and wonder why the hell American`s seem unable to make a cup of tea in these places, and so not bother to begin with.
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Female 3,574
lame
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Male 150
pumpkin spice latte all the way!
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Male 769
Emos... black tea... like my soul, yeah? But I won`t drink it, I`ll just stir it and stare as the swirling vortex of the dark water reminds me of my life and the meaningless non-importance of everything and everyone around me. I won`t add milk or sugar because it has to be black... Black like my soul and bitter like my tears....

(actually, I`m not an emo, I`m more punk who likes a mocha-with-an-extra-shot who occaisionally asks the barista to surprise me with a nice syrup now and then.)
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Male 113
i will streotype a barista... you are a coffee girl. Kind of like a waitress, but things are kept much simpler for you. Tip? Do you tip the fry guy at McD`s?
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Male 304
I like earl grey with two cubes myself.
Maybe a little cream if I feel like it.
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Male 9,305
"I can`t stand all these iced frappalappamochacaramacchiochino`s... when there`s more sugar based syrup and milk in the cup than coffee... its not coffee anymore."

Shhh! Careful! If you don`t patent that frappalappamochacaramacchiochino`s, starbucks will steal it!
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Male 34
Orange Mocha Frappuccino for me xD
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Female 1,380
@andynaylor "I`ve walked out of so many coffee joints when they`ve not been able to cope with

"Coffee Black, in cup... NO MILK, NO SUGAR, NO SYRUP... just coffee black... in a cup."

I can`t stand all these iced frappalappamochacaramacchiochino`s... when there`s more sugar based syrup and milk in the cup than coffee... its not coffee anymore."

What coffee shops have you gone to that haven`t been able to cope with serving you a black coffee? It sure as hell isn`t starbucks because they have no problem serving someone just a cup of black coffee. When I hear people order something like that, they just get it and pay. They don`t say anything. They don`t give you poo for just ordering a black coffee.
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Female 1,077
@Darkmuffin91

i know that`s true because my best friend is black and that`s all she ever orders. EVER.

and what about goths? :[
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Male 2
As a fellow barista, I wholeheartedly agree. You have no idea just how true this is... Also, black people LOVE Vanilla Bean Frappuccinos.

And yes, my job is overglorified. Get over it. A lot of girls love it and it helps me get through college to get a real job.
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Male 31
Italian barista my ass dont over glorify the job its just coffee
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Male 1,505
"Barista....yeah I`m italian and you losers hipsters that sling overpriced coffee at people, are not baristas.

Baristas in Italy are highly skilled and highly paid bartenders, that can make just about any drink, which just happens to include coffee related beverages."

I was in Italy a few years back and I went to a coffee bar for an espresso so I could compare Italian vs. American. The espresso wasn`t any better or worse but the Italian one came with a side order of contempt. At least the Americans act like they want you there.
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Male 239
I`ve walked out of so many coffee joints when they`ve not been able to cope with

"Coffee Black, in cup... NO MILK, NO SUGAR, NO SYRUP... just coffee black... in a cup."

I can`t stand all these iced frappalappamochacaramacchiochino`s... when there`s more sugar based syrup and milk in the cup than coffee... its not coffee anymore.
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Male 45
@spartan448 One thing I do want to point out. The company called us Baristas. We did not choose that title. In Italy the job title is different. Big Deal. Calling yourself by your given job title is hardly being a "self entitled douche bag".
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Male 45
I`ve really never understood the hate for Starbucks and the hate for Baristas is new to me. 1. I was not a coffee monkey. I did a job that paid me and had great health benefits. 2. Why do you think you`re better than a Barista just because you aren`t one? 3. Most employees of coffee shops are going to school or just starting out in the working world. And lastly if you don`t like it get the f*ck out. Trust me no one will miss you.
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Male 43
Barista....yeah I`m italian and you losers hipsters that sling overpriced coffee at people, are not baristas.

Baristas in Italy are highly skilled and highly paid bartenders, that can make just about any drink, which just happens to include coffee related beverages.

If you work for minimum wage @ Starbucks, you are not a Barista, not even a little bit. You are in fact no better than someone that works at any fast food joint, so get over yourselves, last thing we need is another generation of self entitled douchebags, trying to make themselves sound more important than they are.

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Male 450
This made me want a butterscotch latte.
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Male 256
@mykunter: Mechanic? Really? Get over yourself. You`re half a step above service station attendant. There`s nothing wrong with being a barista.
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Male 522
cute but not "awwww" cute. 2 stars.
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Male 2,436
I`m an automobile technician (mechanic). Coffee is disgusting. I drink Coke, or sometimes Red Bull. If I`m feeling froggy I`ll extract the propylhexedrine from a Benzedrex nasal inhaler. Could go for a gacker of Bolivian marching powder. Barista? Really? Get over yourself. You`re a half step above working the fryer.
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Male 1,357
probably true
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Female 406
If u had a mix of coffee and milk tea, asians would order that. It`s really a popular drink here...
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Female 1,593
As a former barista, it`s pretty much true. lol

And...talking on your phone gets you ignored. Don`t be a douche.
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Female 535
Uhhh, barista is not a new fangled expression. =s

I refuse to serve people who are on their phones, too.
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Female 2,352
Apparently I am not Asian, I`m a mechanic. I don`t really drink coffee often.
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Male 27
This subject image. Sad, but true. I do this (with almost the same responses).
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Female 3,562
I just ordered a peppermint mocha latte. What does that make me?
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Male 2,085
If you order anything other than coffee, you are gay.
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Female 2,220
Barista?
What in the name of Bob is this new fangled expression??
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Female 169
The child without parents wanting just a cup of water bothers me... And I agree with the cell phone one.
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Female 108
I`m a barista and I`ve never met any barista who is a jerk, but maybe it`s because I don`t work at Starbucks.

The Asian stereotype is true though.

Coffee monkey? Don`t mess with the person who`s serving you 200 degree liquid, k?
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Female 1,264
"Barista" is one of the stupidest words in the world.
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Female 80
i use to work as a barista for a thru way rest stop, and this is pretty close. its a good thing they didnt put up what we do to drinks if you are rude. haha
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Male 577
I order a caramel frapp, and I`m not Mexican, but everyone thinks I am.
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Male 118
I`m a mechanic,now let me stereotype the barista...
A roostery,self rightous,artschool dropout,that over charges folks for coffee then has the balls enough to ask for a tip.
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Female 179
I`m a mexican teenage girl. but I get wawa hazelnut coffee.
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Male 842
I work at a Seattle`s Best (which pwn`s Starbucks, btw) and I have yet to see these stereotypes.
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Male 452
I wouldn`t be caught dead in a place that employs "Baristas". You are a coffee monkey and nothing more...now dance for your paltry tip!
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Male 2,441
I don`t drink coffee so I get left out :(
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Female 1,604
hmm maybe we order coffee different in New England I was the asst manager at Dunkins and that only one I agree with is Asians do like black coffee. Elderly people usually like it regular or just black
I did like the on the cell phone "ignored by me" hate when people are on their cells while you are trying to serve them..
I went to do an oil change the other day, a woman pulled up I go to talk to her she was on her phone and then rolled up her window. and totally wouldn`t roll it down.. I didn`t know what oil or anything I could of put the most expensive oil in it, changed her air filter gave her a transmission flush and said hey you didn`t want to let me know so there ya go no you owe me like $180 bucks
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Male 111
yeah i got left out
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Male 1,625
F*ck starbucks.
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Male 975
I try to resist the urge to drink coffee in the morning, I don`t want to risk a dependency (My cigarette and music downloading addictions are bad enough).

If I do get a coffee I`ll make it myself, and it`ll be black, maybe with some sugar.
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Male 15,510
Im not Mexican but I do want my caramel frapuccino with extra caramel please
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Male 1,287
mocha to disguise the over-roasted beans. Competitors don`t call it Charbucks for nothing.
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Male 15,510
Im not Mexican but I do want my caramel frapuccino with extra caramel please
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Male 798
Gerry: Barista is an official word in the english dictionary. English has accepted words from foreign languages as they have been used over time.

Native Hawaiian language =/= english.

Speak English.
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Male 590
Why is there even a special word for "starbucks employee"? Don`t try churching it up as if pouring coffee is a special vocation. You make minimum wage and perform mindless, repetitive tasks. And further more, go to hell!
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Male 1,299
Hot - Cafe Misto

Cold - Green Tea Frappuccino or Iced Caramel Macchiato with Chocolate Drizzle
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Male 25,416
Lame!
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Male 491
I don`t like my coffee with douchebags or soccer moms so I stay away starbucks.
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Male 2,220
Black coffee please. Just a normal black coffee. Normal size. No I don`t want one of those stupid cardboard holders. Yes I know its hot, coffee is meant to be hot. Thats a bit strong. Have you got any spoons? No I want a spoon, not a plastic stick.
Never mind.
What thats not enough?
How much? For a cup of coffee! For pitys sake!
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Female 798
and apparently I`m Indian or a teenage girl (minus the giggling and add lemonade to the passion tea) depending on my mood.
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Female 798
We used to do something like this at the sub shop I used to work at. Old people ordered the pastrami and corned beef sandwich, black people, Asians, and Hispanics ordered the steak sub, little college girls ordered turkey subs, and the college guys ordered the turkey and ham sandwich or a club. Obviously we weren`t always right but a good 75% of the time our guesses were right.
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Male 385
LOL I can tell you all from experience they nailed it dead on.
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Male 1,193
teenage guys can`t be labeled like that cause they go for variety
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Female 2,927
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Male 758
So, if a guy is working at a coffee shop, he`d be a baristo then, right?
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Female 2,927
tall hazelnut mocha with extra chocolate and whipped cream. thnx
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Male 321
Mexican flavored sounds pretty good.
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Female 1,043
"looks like a peanuts character but i swear its a mechanic"
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Male 1,244
@Lurkgeezy I`m naturally awake too, although coffee does have very mild halloucinogenic effects on me. It`s weird...
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Female 126
ok. i`m a child.
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Female 149
does coffee even need flavourings
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Female 3,696
@Chaim you could be a soccer mom too? :D
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Male 605
never go to drink coffee at those places...I am naturally awake in the morning!
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Male 39,902
@Lolboy

waitress - english
clerk - english
barista - not english

why not call them Kolomolokuhu`s... which is Hawai`ian for barista.

speak english.
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Female 12
I work at stabucks as well and its pretty good!! except you left out the Pre-Teeen with a gift card. Gets a kids hot chocolate or a tall caramel apple spice. Bwahaha.
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Female 247
Old People do complain a lot.
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Male 167
Damn, I did not know that I am from India.
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Male 798
@Gerry1of1:

waitress
noun
1. a woman who waits on tables, as in a restaurant.

clerk
-noun
1. a person employed, as in an office, to keep records, file, type, or perform other general office tasks.

barista
-noun
a person who makes and serves coffee in a coffee bar

[C20: Italian: literally, bartender]
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Female 1,963
I guess I`m an old man. Except for the complaining.
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Male 271
@Ogen: Yeah, the espresso machines are automatic, and any one can make a drink using those machines with minimal training, but making one *well* does take skill. I`d like to see a monkey pull off a cappuccino fern. Plus with the volume of customers coming in it`s hard to give more than one minute per drink. Does your espresso bar have lines of 20+ people at any given time during the day? It is what it is. We still work hard, and care about the drinks we make, and the people that come in. We respect the indie coffee places, I`d say we deserve a bit of respect in return.
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Male 42
I work for $tarbuck$, and this is fairly acurate. Don`t complain to me about the prices, I know it`s exspensive, but we are not forcing you to buy it. And the people who really have money? They tend to get black coffees and teas. Frapachinos are a rip off. And go ahead and say tall medium large, the only reason I will repeate tall grande venti is because I WORK THERE AND PRETTY MUCH HAVE TO. If you order something, I am going to repeat it the "right" way, to make things easier for the person on bar and because that`s the best way for me to remember it. Being ignorant is not cool, so don`t come in every day and claim you don`t know how to order. Also, SB is the mcdonalds of coffee, so please don`t ask like we are a full service cafe. I will clean up after you, but it`s not that damn hard to throw your trash away.
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Female 149
Soy latte, no weirdness. Just a straight up soy latte.
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Male 271
I work at Starbucks. People order "large" coffees all the time. Why would we give you a weird look? We aren`t all a bunch of elitist pricks... you go to one of the indie places and they don`t know you, and you act like a douchebag you might get weird looks, but we`re pretty much paid to be extremely nice to everyone who comes in, even the non-nice individuals.
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Male 833
old men have a right to complain about starbucks plain coffee
their plain coffee sucks
of course that is not why they are popular
no one pays $8 for a regular coffee no matter how good it is
people goto starbucks for specialty coffee
and they know that so they dont put effort into their plain coffee
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Male 441
Starbucks employees do NOT count as Baristas. They use machines that monkeys could use to make coffee.
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Female 1,380
@lolboy, it makes them sound uneducated when they mispronounce such a simple word. If you`re ordering something, (or especially when you`re serving something) you should be able to pronounce it correctly.
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Female 812
Wait a minute, what about black people?!
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Female 812
I don`t like coffee...
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Male 6,693
I got nothing. I just drink black coffee.
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Male 2,688
Meh... I save myself the trouble of dealing with baristas and order my coffee from coffeefool.com and make my own AWESOME cups of coffee how I like it without having to deal with idiot teenagers screwing up my orders.
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Male 798
Username: JUGGALETTEx0

Complains about how people misprounounce the word "espresso", which is deemed unsophisticated.

0_0 I just don`t even....
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Female 1,380
venti caramel double vanilla triple shot espresso latte <3 it`s delicious. I`m a starbucks whore. Omg their espresso truffle with 3 extra shots is orgasmic. And for some reason whenever I go to like d`d (which is hardly ever) I find that for some reason, they tend to pronounce espresso as "expresso" which is kinda one of my biggest pet peeves.
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Male 3,842
[quote]want to get a strange look... Walk into a starbucks and say you want a large coffee[/quote]

I go to Starbucks at least twice a week, sometimes more, and everyone always asks for "small" "medium" or "large" - nobody uses their stupid "tall" "grande" and "venti" names because all of those things imply "big"

And nobody looks at you funny if you ask for a "medium" or "large" coffee.
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Male 3,842
I am a Hispanic man. I order black coffee if it is cold out, vanilla iced coffee if it is hot out.

I never complain, though, so I guess I don`t fall into the old man category...yet.
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Male 487
want to get a strange look... Walk into a starbucks and say you want a large coffee. Make sure to say it loud enough so all the coffee snobs will hear.

Doesn`t anyone else feel like a complete tool when they say venti?
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Male 1,764
LOL, Americans and their fancy yet crappy, overpriced coffee.
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Male 604
What is this, freshman year of high school anime nerd drawing?
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Female 25
I`m and adult with braces and I get a mocha frapoccino...and not a mechanic...
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Female 8,046
So i can`t just have a plain coffee then? I have no idea what half of those drinks actually are. Coffee, tea, with milk or without, with sugar or without, large or small. How bloody complicated can it be made? Don`t answer.
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Female 404
guess I`m a child with parents
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Female 2,674
I was a barista at Starbucks as an undergrad. Two things:
1. Starbucks treats its employees very well.
2. When people were a-holes to me, I`d give them decaf.
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Male 2,548
Double ristresso...does that make me a cop?
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Male 498
lol
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Male 39,902
the title "barista" is a bit pretentious and grand for someone who just pours coffee.

how about waitress? or clerk?

I usually just refer to them as "the idiot behind the counter" but I`m an Old Guy with Black Coffee.
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Male 40,739
ZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzzzz
(I remain bored)
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Male 56
what about an old indian soccer mom with braces?
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Female 9,572
I guess I`m left out then.
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Male 5,189
Alrighty then.
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Male 191
Soccer moms are a race?
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Female 525
"wow cops don`t look like that but whatever"
lol.
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Female 857
I`m like a soccer mom then. Non-fat, no foam, no water, extra hot Tazo Chai Latte.
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Male 1,451
And what normal people think about baristas: you failed at life.

My Ex was a barista, she thought just like this person and I couldn`t help but keep thinking: all of these customers are, by definition, better than you.
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Male 3,915
well this was very encompassing....did we leave anyone out?

wait....i guess black people don`t order coffee stereotypical huh?
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Female 420
I used to be a Starbucks Barista and I never thought that much about it. I suppose I was just dealing with getting through a day of being spoken to rudely by customers and forced into American-style `group hugs` by a pervert team leader. Fun.
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Male 226
An asian, a mexican, and an indian walk into a coffee shop....
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Male 3,425
Maybe I don`t go to enough coffee shops, not part of the caffeine scene, but I imagine this is only funny if you actually are a coffee shop worker.
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Male 20,905
Link: What The Barista (Coffee Jerk) Thinks Of You [Pic] [Rate Link] - A simple, but informative chart that tells you exactly what coffee baristas think about you based solely on race.
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