More Twitter Words To Live By, Part 2 [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago in Funny

Learn when and how to capitalize, readers.
There are 71 comments:
Female 914
I lol`d
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Male 5,413
Haha `reply button`
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Male 1,834
jack off
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Male 4,004
Furthermore,

To remain on the subject of titles, give it ANY other title, and the sentence does not make sense.

"I helped my Mister Miyagi off a horse."
"I helped my Lord Von Strauss off a horse"
"I helped my Chief Wiggum off a horse"

Just seems out of place for title, as he is referring to a possession, thus, Uncle, is something that belongs to him, and is not attached to Jack, and therefore NOT capitalized.

I think I just answered my question.
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Male 4,004
Okay, but in the given context, the word uncle is not used as a title, but as an adjective.

Had he said "I helped Uncle Jack, off a horse" the it would have been his title.

But switch out what was said and it makes no sense. The way it is worded does not necessitate the Uncle to be capitalized.

The sentence, as it stands, insinuates that the Uncle Jack is his. Try the trick of making the word Uncle Jack into one word (Unclejack), with no pause, since they are together, are spoken together "Hey how are things Unclejack?". Whereas "uncle Jack", has a pause. "My uncle Jack is so fat he can`t get off a horse".

The sentence does not refer to the title of Uncle Jack, but it does qualify the proper noun Jack as being "My" uncle.

I may be french, but I am usually very good at grammar, especially in English (easier language), and this does not seem right to me...
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Female 682
Grammar, part of it is knowing how to convey your point properly. TO avoid future confusion: "Help your Uncle Jack off OF a horse." that is all.
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Male 3,915
Masturbation....

that is all
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Male 66
...and if your Uncle Jack was stuck on a roof would you help your Uncle Jack off?
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Male 283
Animal husbandry is NASTY no matter how you say it. I`d rather think that my meats came from a lab. (no pun intended)
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Female 13
Skine: +10 internets.

"One day, a horse, and I decided to jack off Uncle Jack."
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Male 123
If Jack helped you off your horse would you help Jack masturbate his horse? -er, I mean give Jack`s horse a handjob? Aw drat I`m bad at jokes.
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Male 648
Either way, im sure the horse enjoyed it.
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Male 310
Reminds me of the Love Guru
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Female 118
haha
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Male 719
"One day, Uncle Jack, and I decided to jack off a horse."

Who is this One day who helped you and your Uncle Jack? Or was it a single, unnamed day that is helping you two? Or possibly you added one too many commas.
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Female 535
Both are fun
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Male 129
love it
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Male 417
Commas are important too. I helped my uncle, Jack, off a horse.
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Female 9,584
LOL!
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Male 6,693
now Thats just Funny.
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Male 4,593
Uncle Jack touches me in my secret place.
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Female 82
:-D Cool
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Male 1,237
On the `z` versus `s` thing in words such as capitalize / capitalise, (`z` being the american version) here is a rather boring or rather interesting book depending on what you like heh!

Mighty Fine Words and Smashing Expressions
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Male 792
When the word is used before a proper name as part of the title, it`s capitalized. When it`s on it`s own, it`s not capitalized.

As in: I have an uncle. His name is Jack. One day, Uncle Jack, and I decided to jack off a horse.
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Male 792
...um, yes, Batmanners...it is necessary to capitalize the "uncle" in "Uncle Jack", since it`s a proper title.
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Male 1,067
@Batmanners,
I think "Uncle Jack" has "Uncle" capitalised because it is part of his title, same with Auntie and probably some other examples. With stuff like brother and sister, I think they`re used as adjectives in your examples, rather than nouns.
Correct me if I`m wrong.
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Male 703
@Batmanners - titles other than Uncle or Aunt (Aunty) eg Brother, Sister, Dog, generally aren`t attached to the actual name of the thing. Uncle and Aunt are used in similar ways to Dad, Mum, Grandma, etc., but because a lot of people have more than one uncle, you would specify Uncle Jack. You don`t (no longer specifically true) have more than one Dad, so you can say Dad and people know who you mean.
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Male 767
what about "I helped my uncle Jack off `of` a horse,"?
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Female 151
I agree with Intaresting.

I read this on bash.org aaages ago and it was probably around before then.
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Male 4,004
Unless, the proper way to refer to Jack, is Uncle, as in, it is part of his name/nickname.

"Hey there`s Uncle Jack, kids"
"My favorite customer! How are you Uncle Jack"
"Why don`t you ask the teacher, Uncle Jack?"
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Male 4,004
I`m French, so bear with me for this question.

Is it necessary to capitalize the word uncle when there is a name attached to it? I tried it in other sentences, and it doesn`t seem natural. "I kicked my dumb Brother Joe", "I killed my Dog Ben", "I accidentally my whole Sister Beth".

It doesn`t seem like "Uncle" needed to be capitalized.
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Male 812
This is such an old joke.
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Male 719
@phoneybone: I`m more likely to be their math professor. However, I do correct spelling and grammar.
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Male 2,424
@hitaki318- While we`re asking questions, who helps their uncle jack off a horse?
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Female 193
Who tells people they are helping their uncle off a horse?
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Male 7,839
or maybe they are saying what they really mean.
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Female 1,798
@ skine:

to continue with what you said, it also makes a difference if the person has more than one uncle.

if there`s more than one uncle, commas are needed to indicate which one it is. if it`s only one, it`s assumed that Jack is the only uncle, so commas are not necessary.
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Male 987
LMAO
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Female 4,376
lol
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Male 540
You only need commas in there if you intend for people to read it in the style of Christopher Walken.
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Male 1,744
skine, i hope your my kid`s grade school teacher some day
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Male 719
Then again, I`m correcting someone who uses ellipses.
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Male 719
"it should be uncle jack, off his horse."

This is completely wrong. For example:

"I drove my car to the store" is correct, but "I drove my car, to the store" is not.

Also, while the sentence "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse." is correctly punctuated, it could also be written "I helped my uncle, Jack, off a horse," but the two would be read differently.

In other words, there`s no need to punctuate "I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I helped my uncle jack off a horse" differently, as long as you capitalize correctly.
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Male 317
F-ing A, man...
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Male 720
I can`t believe not just one but several people said he`s missing a comma. Where the f*ck would a comma fit?
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Male 95
it should be uncle jack, off his horse... and... uncle jack off his horse.
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Male 15,510
Grammer is important.
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Male 25,416
grammer pols kik n in!
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Male 1,222
@GuardinGnome
Not with horses i dont
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Male 373
why are people not getting this?
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Male 112
nice.
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Male 2,893
Oh my god,
fail to the people who don`t get this...........
Jesus, don`t you watch porn?
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Male 314
shouldn`t you just put a comma?
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Female 798
@Wraithix, it shouldn`t. His point is jack in the second part seems like the verb of jacking off without the right grammar.
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Female 1,356
hehehe
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Male 483
Help an uncle Jack off a hors.. wha?
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Male 177
Jack should be capitalized in the 2nd sentence. The hell...
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Male 669
isnt this punctuation?
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Male 441
Old bash.org post.
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Male 4,807
I helped my uncle John, jack off a ... oh never mind.
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Male 900
"He`s missing a comma too."

sigh, so are you...
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Female 683
"He`s missing a comma too."

He most certainly is not, but you are! :D *sings* Ironyyyyy!
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Male 2,344
Ahahaha, that`s good
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Male 7,378
One things for sure. TallCornelius is not original.
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Male 719
"He`s missing a comma too."

No, he isn`t.
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Male 491
This 1 time at Uncle Jack`s ranch he had this horse...


Ah, good times..
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Female 836
Where is he missing a comma, dude?
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Male 2,441
Words to live by
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Female 839
i know people who wouldn`t get this
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Male 768
He`s missing a comma too.
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Male 21,000
Link: More Twitter Words To Live By, Part 2 [Pic] [Rate Link] - Learn when and how to capitalize, readers.
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