How To Speak To A Phone Representative [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago in Funny

Follow this sage advice and save countless house on the phone.
There are 99 comments:
Male 65
Many call centers are in India, where the low-paid employees with bad working conditions and no job security are even forced to lie about their own names and use American names, all the while pretending to have a cheerful attitude while dealing with customers who forget they`re talking to human beings.

My bad experience was with Hewlett Packard, mostly by American call centers. Transferred from one section to the next, with each person taking my information without conveying it to the next, being put on hold during the transfers, and more than once ending up back where I started, not to mention that no one knows what section does what, or thinks that one section does something it doesn`t. I was transferred to an overseas shipping department only to be told that the section that transferred me was where I was supposed to go, and later on being told that there was no overseas shipping department. Only when I asked for a manager did the guy solve my problem by himself. Go figure.
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Male 185
you should probably choose a middle ground or they wont respect you....but name dropping the BBB usually helps
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Male 117
Did anyone get hungry when they saw the bacon in the last one?
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Female 13
Man, i wish i had 1000 suns.
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Female 5,222
when youre doing things right you grow a moustache lmao
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Female 56
After working in a few call centers, I make sure the first thing I do is say hello, use their name, and ask how their day is going. You`d be surprised how happy people are to answer that question!
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Male 906
I`ve gotten a lot of breaks I wasn`t technically entitled to because I was nice and civil.
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Male 1,370
really bad oatmeal imitation.
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Female 1,236
Nowadays narwhals and good manners are quite rare. Too bad too, because they help you navigate your way through day-to-day life SO much more efficiently--and so do good manners.
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Male 1,446
If 85% of my daily calls were a little more like the "Right way" instead of the "wrong way," I might have stayed with the cell phone billing call center job.
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Female 193
I`d love to quit wasting my house on the phone.
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Male 88
Imagine if we were all like that sophisticated pea-head thing.
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Male 741
"Why do they always put the people with such strong accents on the phone? so dumb."

Another good (or bad) reason for this is that the people with the accents cannot actually speak english. if you try to hold a conversation with them or explain to them the problem WITHOUT them asking YOU each step, they have no idea what you are saying. These people are reading off of a list, going down the list until your problem is resolved or they are forced to route the damn call back to the coutry it is coming from. This is EXCEDINGLY annoying. More than a few times i would get ahold of someone. Explain to them my situation and what I have already tried. Then as they run down the stupid list they ask you the same damn question you have already answered."


Summary: Because they are human algorithms
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Male 2,700
"Why do they always put the people with such strong accents on the phone? so dumb."

Another good (or bad) reason for this is that the people with the accents cannot actually speak english. if you try to hold a conversation with them or explain to them the problem WITHOUT them asking YOU each step, they have no idea what you are saying. These people are reading off of a list, going down the list until your problem is resolved or they are forced to route the damn call back to the coutry it is coming from. This is EXCEDINGLY annoying. More than a few times i would get ahold of someone. Explain to them my situation and what I have already tried. Then as they run down the stupid list they ask you the same damn question you have already answered.
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Female 1,048
Best tip I heard was to talk to them like a child, tried it once and got the fastest resolution in the history of customer support. She got tired of me talking in my happy voice! (think Disney kids show presenter!)
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Male 269
"save countless house", I dont get it
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Female 93
i read the fancy guy pictures with a brtish accent
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Male 12,365
It`s not just over the phone, either. I work in a gambling club. Although my job is technical (I maintain and repair machines), it`s mostly customer service. How a customer with a problem treats me will have an effect on how their complaint is handled. If they`re an arse, I`ll be polite and follow the rules to the letter...which usually won`t help them much. Lots of rules in gambling. Problem with a machine? Well, it has to be logged as a dispute and the machine examined by an engineer...no, they`re not onsite, they`re mobile. They might arrive in an hour. You`re welcome to wait. Although they might not arrive until tomorrow. Sorry, there`s nothing I can do. My hands are tied.
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Male 12,365
[quote]Why do they always put the people with such strong accents on the phone? so dumb.[/quote]

It puts people off calling.

Companies don`t want to provide free support to customers at all. The more customers who are put off, the better it is for the company. They already have your money - why would they want to spend their money helping you?

If you phone up a sales line, you almost always get better service than you do on a free customer support line. On the sales line, the business is dealing with people who probably want to buy something.
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Male 156
A tip: You`re more likely to get what you want and more if you explain yourself and get the phone monkey on your side. Act like a **** and they have the power to make your experience hell.
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Male 155
An old TechSupport addage: Sugar wins over salt any day.
While the "olde English style" verbage shown here is a bit o`er the top, being polite and respectful is certainly key to a successful experience.
Unfortunately most callers tend to unleash their frustrations upon the reps, and think of them as adversaries rather than teammates.
The best reps are the ones who can successfully convince the caller that they are on their side.

Good message in this one.
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Male 5,094
RoboPatton: You win the Daily Racist Remark Award! Congratulations!
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Female 2,352
I`ve worked at call centers before so I just try not to be an a sshole when I call.
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Male 2,424
Do the people in India really know the difference? Really?
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Male 133
god bless you wrong.
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Female 251
I work in customer service and as long as you are polite and generally quite nice, we always work out how to get you what you want. sometimes it`s just not possible, but it`s more likely we`ll bend the rules if you`re friendly :)
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Male 72
If only the `right` way worked and the `wrong` way wasn`t so satisfying.
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Female 1,427
"YES! A guide to actually being cordial! Finally! :D Hope for the planet!"

Not only is it a good idea to be cordial so they won`t get pissed and drat with you, but it also conveys that you are in complete control of the situation and that they can`t actually screw you over.
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Female 199
woah

I hate how this is `drawn` so much that I can`t finish it
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Male 10
Mr. Peanut seems very polite on the phone.
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Male 900
They usually don`t understsnd what I`m saying anyway, whether I`m nice or mean. I just trynot to phone at night, during the day you can usually get to someone who isn`t ESL.
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Male 9,305
YES! A guide to actually being cordial! Finally! :D Hope for the planet!
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Male 599
The problem is that when you speak to somebody on the phone at one of these companies, you`re not dealing with intelligent life
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Male 269
that dude is riding a narwhal. He is right.
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Female 857
I dunno, when it comes to dealing with phone companies I find the more I swear the more I can get away with.
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Male 6,693
Never lose your temper. Everyone has to have a job.
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Female 85
@Lincc267 I`m reporting you to the better business bureau AND the cyber police. I back-traced it, beeyotch.
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Male 2,669
Remind them that once the invasion fleet arrives, *you* will decide the fate of all humanity, whether it be survival as a slave or immediate dispatch to the Zorlothian Grinding Machines.
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Male 211
i shall come down upon thee with the power of 1,000 suns!!!! i like that. also it`s really nice when people don`t lose their poo cause when they do, i just want to make their situation worse just cause they`re being a dick
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Male 886
I find everything to be true in that post...unless of course you`re dealing with Verizon.


In which case email me if you run out of expletives and names to call them.
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Male 3,285
"nd one was retarded. Nobody deals with the better business bureau. Theyre just a joke.
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Male 559
Just calmly tell them what you need them to do. If they are unable to comply, just ask to talk to a supervisor. Repeat until you get what you want.
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Female 66
It`s amazing what customers will say when they`re angry.
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Male 695
/me snickers at pinks "incompitance" xD
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Female 3,828
Ive done all the right things, and all the wrong things. it depends on how incompitant the guy on the other end is. if he can barely speak english, for example, then im a B*tch.
Why do they always put the people with such strong accents on the phone? so dumb.
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Male 877
guy on the end of phone is same as you...eat his manager instead!
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Male 495
Not only do I appreciate this bc I am an operator and I`ve had some of the most annoying people who personally insult me when they don`t get their way, but also bc I just bought an as-is car that started craping out about 2 weeks after I bought it decided to be really nice and not pester the woman helping me (took them over three days) and she ended up getting the labor waived for me even though she said it wasn`t covered and prob wouldn`t be.

goooood story
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Female 61
Sometimes my head bursts into a mushroom cloud too.
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Male 27
I liked the oatmeal`s better xD
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Male 2,552
>CmdrBittles
Exactly, I`ve been in the exact same position.

Outright rudeness won`t solve no problem that politeness couldn`t! (With exceptions of course, everything has exceptions. Almost.)
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Male 5,189
Lol I love this.
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Female 151
If this actually worked, I would never have problems with phone reps. I`m never rude on the phone, there`s no need, but I still get pooty service. Some companies just have terrible people working their support lines who don`t know what the hell they`re doing. More than once I`ve had to call twice because the first person wasn`t paying attention to me or just flat out lied to me about something, making me waste my time. I hate support lines, I could bitch about them all day.
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Female 1,172
I agree with pretty much all of these. When I worked in call centres, if someone was rude to me, I`d either have the auto-dialer call them back every couple of hours, go silent until they thought I wasn`t there or listening until they hung up, "accidentally" disconnect the call or warn the supervisor by saying "this person is being incredibly rude and demanding, "don`t give them what they want". If they were polite to me, I would try and do everything I could to help them. If I couldn`t help then I`d offer the supervisor and let them (the sup.) know this person is super nice and needs help if possible.
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Male 378
How about polite but stern. Know what you want and don`t accept anything else. Don`t expect a full refund on your bill if you can`t change the input on your T.V. Remember, the rep is trained to get you to accept the solution that creates the least amount of work for them. If it isn`t right, don`t accept it.
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Male 842
3rd from bottom; It should be "WITH WHOM am I speaking?"
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Female 1,593
I want to save countless house on the phone. Tell me how!
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Male 2,893
Is there any way I could become more bored?
I don`t think so.
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Male 2,004
sage? bubble porn? what`s happening? are we turning into another 4chan?
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Male 418
Narwhals, narwhals....... that song is stuck in my head now XD
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Female 17
Speaking from a couple years of call center work, it`s a lot easier to come to a resolution if the person poses their views and expectations in a civilized manner. You already sound crazy for calling a satellite tv company for not being able to find the input for your Xbox; don`t make the rep try to figure out how to make you happy when you can`t change the channel, too. In this example, telling us you want a technician will give us the chance to explain that a dish tech won`t know how to fix a Sony TV. Worst case scenario, switch to butthole mode if rationality doesn`t work. I know I would make it a mission not to reward childish behavior. Oh, and an extra tip: babbling for the fist few minutes of the call is a huge indication that you have something to hide, so we`ll use the time to look at previous notes on the account for incriminating evidence.
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Male 256
I`ve always had very positive interactions with customer service representatives because I`ve always treated them with respect and always admitted my share of any error, such as being late on a payment or misunderstanding a certain policy. By being honest and genial, I`ve never gotten less than 100% satisfaction from the other end. This comic is spot on.
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Female 275
The advice is right on, and the riding of narwhals is awesome.
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Female 34
Yeah this is pretty spot on.
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Female 2,289
It would have been sooo much funnier if they left out the words
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Male 137
That last picture made me hungry for breakfast!
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Male 2,441
Hmm I think both work in certain cases
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Female 1,181
i always start out the "right" way, and sometimes have had to go the "wrong" way in order to get the problem solved to my satisfaction. you just have to make sure not to swear or yell, `cause that way they`re usually allowed to disconnect the call.
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Male 325
I could save countless house. Good deal to me.
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Female 1,623
Meh, I`ve seen my mom acting in a way between the right and the wrong way, works everytime
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Female 448
I once had the representative for my television`s company yell at me. I was really nice, I just had no idea where to find my model number. Rather than tell me where to look he kept shouting at me and then put me on hold for 5 minutes. I ended up hanging up and calling Best Buy and they figured out my problem in 5 minutes.
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Male 2,868
Awesome. However- I have seen a friend get his money back from a pawn shop that had a no refunds policy by acting rude and threatening. There`s really no other way he would have got his money back- the guy appeased him because he wanted to end the confrontation and get him out of the store. Not my style at all- I was kind of embarrassed to be there to be honest- but he got results.
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Male 76
The "wrong way" gets what you want though. What are the advantages to doing it the "right way"?
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Female 654
indeed. people have no patience, manners, or common sense anymore
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Male 845
i call bullpoo. ive been nice to representatives, and theyve done nothing for me. and ive been an ass, and gotten what i want.
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Female 51
Polite behaviour is sadly going the way of the dodo in modern society. A regrettable loss to be sure.
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Male 3,915
i mistook the word phone for house...don`t ask why....so when i saw no political anything...i was quite surprised...
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Male 15,510
Its soo tediously long and boring (And before anyone else says it: Thats what she said)
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Male 85
i used to be a CSR and it blew donkey balls, i was always impressed when someone remembered my name and spoke to me in a civilized manner, usually the irate customers would ask for the supervisor right away and that just meant i got to sit by and listen in and get paid for doing nothing while the supervisor had to deal with the idiot who was most likely calling the wrong place.
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Female 3,562
I think most people call customer service mostly for stupid crap that they could figure out themselves with more than 5 minutes of effort. Often something is more obvious if you actually try to fix things yourself than relying on some one on the phone to have any ideas.
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Male 4,004
"You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
"

Flies are attracted to poop and other decomposing matter. Bees are attracted to honey.

You catch more flies with poop than with honey.

Why would you want to catch flies in the first place? You can however, catch a LOT of ants with honey diluted in water (25%Honey/75%Water) and then poured near an ant colony...
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Female 137
stupid
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Male 12,365
Out of interest, do any of you pay any attention to the person`s name? I don`t and I know that when I take phone calls at work hardly anyone cares what name I give or remembers it afterwards.
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Male 2,548
Mmm, why not use honey and lemons then splash a little gin on top, it`s the bees knees baby!

(Also, I`ll have to bookmark this for referencing)
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Male 12,365
Good advice, more often than not. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Although it`s bitterly frustrating when you`ve spent 5 minutes working your way through a menu, 5 more minutes on hold and then 5 more minutes being transferred around departments, none of whom can actually do anything. Expecially when you can barely understand the person on the other end and they can barely understand you because your language is their second language and you and they have extremely different accents.

I make a habit of being nice to support staff on the phone, keeping in mind all the time that they have a crappy job and usually no authority to do anything, that the problem isn`t their fault and that they`ve probably had a dozen arseholes ranting at them so far that day. I see it as an opportunity to improve someone`s working day a little.
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Male 25,414
Just remember, you can get further with honey then with lemons!
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Female 1,043
the oatmeal - talent - humor = this.
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Male 558
@ videogamer: ya beat me to it man, and well played at that...
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Male 648
I never yell at the first person i talk to. I save that for the supervisors/managers.
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Female 1
just out riding his narwhal...
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Male 28
nice
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Male 417
i do all the rights
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Female 735
...i hate to troll, but i dont do it often, i just call it as i see it.

NOT funny.
NOT helpful.
NOT good art.
NOT entertaining.
NOT worth my time.

kthxbaiii!
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Male 3,014
I was hoping there`d be some sort of punchline.

I was very disappointed.

Also:



Think of all the House you could save!
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Male 126
im the nice guy while on the phone for the first ten minutes, after that, and the fact that i can`t understand what the person is saying, i become the angry guy...
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Female 407
f.uck that.
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Male 4,004
Unfortunately, this is very biased.

I usually act nice, and then they give me more and more of their typical BS and in the end I get effed and I start yelling.
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Male 2,592
I hate it when my house is on my phone
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Female 290
Phew, good thing for this. I saved hundreds of houses on the phone! ;)
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Male 21,256
Link: How To Speak To A Phone Representative [Pic] [Rate Link] - Follow this sage advice and save countless house on the phone.
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