Honest ESRB Ratings

Submitted by: cobrakiller 6 years ago in Funny
http://www.dorkly.com/article/3014/honest-esrb-ratings

What the ESRB rating really says about a game.
There are 31 comments:
Male 304
I was not amused.
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Male 174
I don`t get it. So whatever rating a game has it`s crap. I think this is a covert operation of some videogame hating maniacs. Probably some wooden Toy producers or something like that.
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Male 3,915
agreed with GuardinGnome...

obviously has no idea about video games...

you haven`t seen awesome until you have blown the head off of Locust in Gears Of War

you haven`t had fun until playing Wii with your whole Family

You haven`t played competitively or cooperatively with you friends until you`ve played Halo

Play a game, bring friends...have a drating blast
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Male 127
@ Taylor_Stone -- Agreed! He needs to earn that color tv, and game save-ability from Legend of Zelda.. The button/joystick of the Atari 2600 shall be his weapon and this, his Battlefield...



Maybe then he`ll know what a true gaming abomination really is! I`m just hoping this whole ratings list was just some big retarded joke gone completely sideways and that there really isn`t some loser out there who spent all that time bashing video games.
Maybe his wife left him for an Atari Jaguar.. That might uncover his hatred for pixelated awesomeness, haha
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Male 5,413
I think Jack Thompson wrote those
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Male 2,893
I`m gonna take a wild guess that the guy who wrote this doesn`t play video-games of any kind at all.
So in a way, he just called himself a loser.
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Male 76
Wow I can`t believe never heard about this site before, but I have to agree with many here, there are way better stuff than this.
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Male 2,688
No way StaR_Beast... We need to start him off easy... 2 buttons may be a little too difficult. Get this guy an Atari 2600 and a black and white tv with mono sound... He has to work his way up the ladder just like the rest of us.
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Male 127
Laaame... ((Not you Cobrakiller but whoever created this damn "list")) Well said Taylor_Stone --- I think whoever made this list probably didn`t get that NES they wanted for Christmas back in `85 and since then they devoted the rest of their lives to bashing all things fun in the land of video games. Somebody get that poor bastard a Nintendo Zapper & Duck Hunt.. STAT!
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Female 2,352
I know I`ve seen funny sh*t on Dorkly why pick the least funny thing you could find?
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Male 25,416
Such high expectations for humour, so disappointed by the result!
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Male 363
Dumb article is dumb. Why is this categorized under "funny?" It kinda just pissed me off. What an ignorant view of video games.
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Male 1,598
They`re doing their best to be funny and relevant, but it just doesn`t work out.
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Male 2,841
I`m guessing the person who wrote this doesn`t play videogames.
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Male 3,482
[quote]A TRUE gamer can tell when a developer slacked on the gameplay to make some other ridiculous aspect (i.e. blood physics, or gore) stand out *coughcough Gears of War coughcough*...[/quote]
Thank you! Somebody else who thinks Gears sucked because they focused so much on "OH LOOK, THERE`S CHAINSAWS! AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE!" over making a decent f*cking shooter...
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Male 7,611
wow, looks like very few of us were actually entertained by this. sorry IAB.
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Male 1,184
I didn`t know there were E10+ or AO ratings.
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Male 2,688
The person who wrote this obviously has some kind of issues with gamer nerds. And for TRUE gamers, games are NOT all about blood, profanity and sexual themes. A true gamer appreciates the gameplay and polish. A TRUE gamer can tell when a developer slacked on the gameplay to make some other ridiculous aspect (i.e. blood physics, or gore) stand out *coughcough Gears of War coughcough*...
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Male 2,893
Rated M: for METAL!!!!
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Male 37,732
Why does E+10 rating even exist? It`s for EVERYONE but NOT if you`re under a certain age? wtf!
The first few were dull, but the M and AO were pretty spot-on.
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Female 302
That link had so much potential...
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Male 4,680
I know this is completely unrelated, but DrProfessor your avatar is absolutely amazing.

Thought I`d share that.
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Male 101
I enjoyed that article...
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Male 2,424
I rate that article an A on the Gerry1of1 scale
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Male 2,121
I want that minute of my life back...
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Male 552
"Here`s my Ratings...

I - INTERESTED
A - Actually paid attention a little bit
B - BORED "


I think I see what you did there..
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Male 10,855
I agree with this chart. I never understood why they gave the Halo games an M rating.
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Male 2,344
Writer of that is some bias person against video games, obviously. I guess I`d much rather be playing the game than complaining about them, though.
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Male 3,894
boo. boring and unimaginative. overly strident.
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Male 38,467
Here`s my Ratings...

I - INTERESTED
A - Actually paid attention a little bit
B - BORED
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Male 7,611
Link: Honest ESRB Ratings [Rate Link] - What the ESRB rating really says about a game.
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