Rockin' in the free world since 2005.

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Category: Funny
Date: 09/28/10 06:02 PM

53 Responses to 5 Least Useful Army Men

  1. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7425 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 8:25 am
    Link: 5 Least Useful Army Men - when battling the Nazis, Vietcong, Iraqis, etc. these are the guys you dont want on your front line.
  2. Profile photo of premierwondr
    premierwondr Male 18-29
    975 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 6:07 pm
    I was dying from this the other day. I loved army men.

    Cracked is the 5hit!
  3. Profile photo of Geogypsy
    Geogypsy Female 18-29
    2546 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 6:13 pm
    This was great...but I`ve never had problems balancing the upside down rifle guys.
  4. Profile photo of optix_reverb
    optix_reverb Male 18-29
    263 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 6:26 pm
    oh man, that takes me back. I used to line 50-100 plastic army guys on a slot car track and mow them all down with the slot car. Good times
  5. Profile photo of evilducky00
    evilducky00 Male 18-29
    430 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 6:28 pm
    I got a whole box of them somewhere in my garage.
  6. Profile photo of idiotfilter
    idiotfilter Male 18-29
    3916 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 6:34 pm
    geogypsy...i always remember having to prop him up against a tree or something...you must be thinking of something else...
  7. Profile photo of vw
    vw Female 30-39
    406 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 6:50 pm
    My boyfriend totally loves this one, then he started talking about how he used to play with them and his cars non-stop...now he won`t stop talking about them!!! =(
  8. Profile photo of Viggsy
    Viggsy Male 13-17
    180 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 6:59 pm
    LOL. This brings back memories. I`m sure if I clean my room I`ll find a couple..

    And uurgh, I also remember having to creatively prop up my upside-down rifle guys.
  9. Profile photo of Geogypsy
    Geogypsy Female 18-29
    2546 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 7:01 pm
    No way Idiotfilter! I`m thinking of the right guy
    because..*lowers voice to a whisper*.. I still play with them.
  10. Profile photo of Siyanor
    Siyanor Male 18-29
    1185 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 7:06 pm
    Actually, I`d rather have these guys.

    They`re plastic.
  11. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    31783 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 7:07 pm
    Yay! Army mens!
  12. Profile photo of Piepig
    Piepig Male 13-17
    1524 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 7:25 pm
    Oh my god, this was hilarious. I always thought that way about the guy holding the rifle over his head.

    Seriously, who thought of that.
  13. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15844 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 7:41 pm
    Those guys usually ended up dying in a napalm (charcoal starter) attack.
  14. Profile photo of T-Marley
    T-Marley Male 70 & Over
    602 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 7:41 pm
    Man I love Army men, but I have to say upside down rifle guy was a badass. Cause you knew he was getting ready to bayonet a helpless opponent on the ground. (Or depending on the scenario, he could be wading through water and keeping his weapon dry)

    My big memory was taking my model knife and having to shave off the extra plastic on the bottom of countless little Army men to perfect their balance, none of my soldier sleep on duty!

    Oooh, and the awesome PSX Army Man 3D games...
  15. Profile photo of GuardinGnome
    GuardinGnome Male 18-29
    2893 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 7:48 pm
    I always hated the radio guy.
    WHAT USE ARE YOU!!!
    YOU ARE IN THE DUMBEST POSITION TO DO ANYTHING COOL IN!!!!
  16. Profile photo of SlothOfDoom
    SlothOfDoom Male 30-39
    2033 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 7:53 pm
    Rifle-over-head guy always got left out of our games until smone died, he then subbed in as lying-down-dead-with-outstretched-arms guy.
  17. Profile photo of premierwondr
    premierwondr Male 18-29
    975 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 8:08 pm
    LOL I remember propping the rifle guy against trees, barbed wire, tanks, and jeeps now!
    The radio guys were always with my mortar troops behind low fences. Maybe with a binocular man too.
    O god, I really hope I can find my army men so when I have kids they have the chance to play with some real toys.
  18. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36201 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 8:26 pm
    the only usefull purpose these guys had was to leave them lying in the middle of the hallway... in the middle of the nights so you could hear your dad cuss when he stepped on one in the dark.
  19. Profile photo of NotTHATbored
    NotTHATbored Female 18-29
    1101 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 8:51 pm
    @OldOllie just wanted to make sure that you saw this ;-)

    The First Amendment has been interpreted by the Court as applying to the entire federal government even though it is only expressly applicable to Congress. Furthermore, the Court has interpreted, the due process clause of the Fourteenth Amendment as protecting the rights in the First Amendment from interference by state governments. See U.S. Const. amend. XIV.

    Two clauses in the First Amendment guarantee freedom of religion. The establishment clause prohibits the government from passing legislation to establish an official religion or preferring one religion over another. It enforces the "separation of church and state."


    1st & 14th Ammendments
  20. Profile photo of NotTHATbored
    NotTHATbored Female 18-29
    1101 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 8:51 pm
    The link is from Cornell University. FTW (For the Win).
  21. Profile photo of Wizard77
    Wizard77 Male 40-49
    582 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 8:55 pm
    NERD ALERT!!!

    When I was really into painting D&D miniatures, (I know) I painted half a dozen of these guys for fun. Believe it or not, if you take your time, they end up looking pretty cool.


    And yes, I expect a wedgie for this post.
  22. Profile photo of mcmad_0021
    mcmad_0021 Female 13-17
    93 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 9:14 pm
    i had army men growing up scars on my feet to prove same with legos not really useful until you want to make sure no one gets in your room xD
  23. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25408 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 9:38 pm
    O the days when the Army men used to be popular!
  24. Profile photo of coldCanuck
    coldCanuck Male 13-17
    296 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 9:57 pm
    Wizard77 is my hero
  25. Profile photo of GRadde
    GRadde Male 18-29
    2556 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 10:26 pm
    I always pretended that Pointing Binocular Guy held a handgun and was to awesome to look where he was aiming; he`d hit it anyway.
  26. Profile photo of I-IS-BORED
    I-IS-BORED Male 18-29
    2419 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 10:29 pm
    NERD ALERT!!!
    half a dozen =/= 11
  27. Profile photo of handys003
    handys003 Male 50-59
    2402 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 11:17 pm
    #1 was your typical 2nd Lieutenant out of West Point.

    #2 You never apparently played in my backyard. Land mines (dog) were everywhere ;P

    #3 Is some D*ckwad Colonel trying to look important

    #4 Looks to be a Japanese soldier on Banzai charge.

    #5 Typical dumba** Army Captain
  28. Profile photo of handys003
    handys003 Male 50-59
    2402 posts
    September 28, 2010 at 11:19 pm
    @Wizard 77

    Feeling it yet?
  29. Profile photo of premierwondr
    premierwondr Male 18-29
    975 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 12:26 am
    LOL I remember propping the rifle guy against trees, barbed wire, tanks, and jeeps now!
    The radio guys were always with my mortar troops behind low fences. Maybe with a binocular man too.
    O god, I really hope I can find my army men so when I have kids they have the chance to play with some real toys.
  30. Profile photo of Samsquanch
    Samsquanch Male 30-39
    792 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 3:18 am
    Ok, NotTHATBored, sweetheart, if you`re going to write out an anagram, there`s no point in putting in the anagram in the first place. Also, I think most people know what FTW is, and if not, they can FTS (drat themselves)
  31. Profile photo of bram
    bram Male 18-29
    577 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 4:03 am
    I loved these little guys, though I think I had more little cowboys and Indians, than army men.

    I always hated the guy with the rifle over his head, never could make him stand up.
  32. Profile photo of TangoDexx
    TangoDexx Male 18-29
    158 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 5:18 am
    The same thing with the minesweeper guy, the stupidly narrow base made him fall over no matter what.
  33. Profile photo of ruthless1990
    ruthless1990 Female 18-29
    3001 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 7:48 am
    I used to love this, me and my little brother would spend ages setting it up, and then we`de have an epic battle and of course, I would always win.
  34. Profile photo of lauriloo
    lauriloo Female 40-49
    1803 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 7:50 am
    Isn`t the guy holding his rifle over his head supposed to be wading through water? That`s what I would have done if I had played with army men. All I remember my brothers doing with them is shooting them with a bb gun.
  35. Profile photo of meepmaker
    meepmaker Male 30-39
    6694 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 8:08 am
    I always shot them with the bb gun.
  36. Profile photo of fivezones
    fivezones Male 40-49
    1021 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 8:11 am
    Samsquanch:
    FTW is not an anagram. It`s an acronym. Funny you want to correct someone while you don`t know what you`re talking about.
  37. Profile photo of digbychicken
    digbychicken Male 18-29
    235 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 8:16 am
    damn right!! bloody binoculars man lost me so many wars
  38. Profile photo of AtlasOtus
    AtlasOtus Male 18-29
    417 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 9:08 am
    I had legos
  39. Profile photo of mrgimpy
    mrgimpy Male 30-39
    56 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 9:24 am
    I had several of these inmy youth. We had a few that were Canadians....they had their hands up in the air.
  40. Profile photo of pumba62
    pumba62 Male 40-49
    1018 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 9:49 am
    MR Gimpy .....LMAO
    But you have it wrong .....that would be the French with their hands up in the air ....and I mean the ones from France not Quebec!
  41. Profile photo of madduck
    madduck Female 50-59
    7421 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 1:44 pm
    My boys used to set light to them. I thought they where supposed to be all melted and black? Should I be worried?
  42. Profile photo of Mothrog
    Mothrog Male 18-29
    79 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 1:56 pm
    the guy with his gun above his head is in that position for crossing rivers and stuff. At least thats what they did in my army men computer game i had as a kid.
  43. Profile photo of gorgack2000
    gorgack2000 Male 13-17
    4683 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 3:14 pm
    I used to arrange them into a huge army and have them fight massive dinosaurs and robots. It was awesome.
  44. Profile photo of Wai-Yu
    Wai-Yu Female 13-17
    246 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 3:22 pm
    I guess I`m a sociopath then...
  45. Profile photo of Inter237
    Inter237 Male 18-29
    2441 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 4:12 pm
    This guy brought manners
  46. Profile photo of Flying_cow_
    Flying_cow_ Male 30-39
    120 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 4:21 pm
    Ahh, I remember these guys, the spy satelite with assasin laser(magnifying glass) took out most of the less useful of them, the rest died in other creative ways.. :)
  47. Profile photo of pyrrhios
    pyrrhios Male 30-39
    185 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 5:20 pm
    I take issue with number 4. That one was definitely useful. First, notice the bayonet. You most certainly can stab a person from that pose. second, if you were using clay or play-doh, tilting him to angle the point of the gun up, made an excellent action wounded soldier.
  48. Profile photo of Handsompod
    Handsompod Male 30-39
    1109 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 6:44 pm
    Hello lincc303, F**K You! Go and die from eating a rotten can of processed meat you filthy spam whore!
  49. Profile photo of Lblaxplaya20
    Lblaxplaya20 Male 18-29
    422 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 6:47 pm
    There was a store next to my mom`s office that sold these I packs of 30 for $5 and I would get them everytime I went. I have at least 500 greens, 200 yellows and a couple dozen grays. What made these guys even better was growing up with Army Men: Sarges Heroes for N64. I miss my childhood...
  50. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15844 posts
    September 29, 2010 at 10:36 pm
    NTB, it`s one thing to have an argument with someone with whom you disagree. It`s quite another to try to have an argument with someone who is incapable of understanding what you are saying. You fall into the latter category.

    I said I give up, and I mean it.
  51. Profile photo of Skythe
    Skythe Male 18-29
    965 posts
    September 30, 2010 at 9:07 am
    I remember all of these.
  52. Profile photo of DickenMcHunt
    DickenMcHunt Male 18-29
    1299 posts
    October 1, 2010 at 1:27 am
    That was pretty hilarious.
  53. Profile photo of chinesemath
    chinesemath Female 18-29
    130 posts
    October 7, 2010 at 2:32 pm
    I remember stapping these guys to bottle rockets when I was little, good times

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