Why Not Try The Touch Oasis Ministry Church? [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 6 years ago in Weird

Here, this is the church"s new member pamphlet--looks like a nice enough place.
There are 77 comments:
Male 6,694
Ouch.
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Male 229
Does anyone else see the drips?
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Male 999
im actually kinda horny right now
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Male 703
I can see a couple of good reasons right there. On the plus side though, Jesus goes there. Kinda hard to disprove his existence when he`s right there in London.
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Male 1,013
I don`t get it. Why post something so common? It`s like posting a picture of a car or a chick willing to have sex for a cheeseburger.
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Male 49
"Wait Joey, lemme get my robe outta the way...."
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Male 5,617
It`s a little bit Stu Mead.


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Female 314
@idiotfilter LMAO i laughed so hard
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Male 155
Zikes - scary enough, without the wetworks...
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Male 312
TOUCHY TOUCHY!!!
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Male 63
Welcome to the south
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Male 3,915
"Who`s your diety bitch?"
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Male 211
lmaololol holy crap
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Male 12,138
If this is real, it`s wrong. So very, very wrong.
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Female 16
well his still going with the bible it says you can`t LIE with another man :D his standin clever!
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Male 809
And the kid is dribbling out of his mouth too!!
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Male 648
"Dont cry, im absolving you of your sins...Hey! watch the teeth"
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Male 487
@GerB40:

"The Body of Christ! Sleek swimmer`s body, all muscled up and toned!
The Body of Christ! O, Lord Almighty, I wish I could call it my own!"
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Male 593
No wonder priests like to have fun time with all the little boys, after Jesus sets the example everyone follows!
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Male 4,594
Jesus had better give the kid a goddam candy bar.
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Male 784
Is that a piece of loaf on the boy`s T-shirt?
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Male 151
Gobble gobble gobble!

Greedy timmy...
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Male 467
This should have the [NSFW] tag.. Pow! Right in the kisser!
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Male 11
(Cartman`s song CUMS to mind) "I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasin` jesus, feel his salvation all over my face".
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Male 1,043
Well that explains a lot.
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Male 985
Jesus is cuming
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Male 1,548
lol, its dripping off the kids face :D
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Female 3,828
LOL @ concetra
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Male 2,050
Well thats one way to get the holy spirit in yah.
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Female 463
LMAO @xhaseox
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Female 149
....Sigh.

/Catholic
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Male 38
No wonder Jesus never had a girlfriend
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Female 627
WELL THEN.
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Male 519
at least the kid is smart enough not to swallow it
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Male 5,190
Lawls.
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Male 325
Oh, so now every image of Jesus has to be hi-def so it doesn`t end up on IAB. I`m understanding now.
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Female 151
hahaha...this one made me laugh like crazy. But it is fake-no one would put that in public unless they wanna be shot by religious people.
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Male 621
oh jesus... lol
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Male 2,148
If I called fake, who would disagree with me?
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Female 654
aww..i can see the glass of communion wine he`s drinking, it ruined all the magic
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Male 2,229
Jesus blow job to salvation
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Male 2,419
he only has one foot on the ground, is the other one what he`s forcing into the boy`s mouth?
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Male 8
I can see liquid droplets dropping down *gasp*
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Male 37,697
Has anyone pointed out "Blow the trumpet of salvation" in the logo yet? Lolz! At least it gives the location: Ezekiel 33:5

"He [who hears] the sound of the trumpet and does not take warning; his blood shall be upon himself. [for] if he had taken warning, he would have saved his life"
Close, but no banana. 33:3 talks more about the blowing of the trumpet.

Shopped, faked or both!
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Male 1,625
Little known fact: Thats the fastpass of getting to heaven.
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Female 449
Obviously not real. As you can see by the "Blow the trumpet of Salvation"
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Male 25,416
no!
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Male 12,138
If this is real, it`s wrong. So very, very wrong.
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Male 9,306
"Seriously... some christians are so out of tune to common sexual perception. "

Well when some of them stay virgins for fear of being sent to hell, yes they WOULD be out of touch.
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Male 179
yeah, it`s got to be trolling. or some church hired an artist who was a complete pervert.
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Female 3,574
bad artists ftl
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Male 88
It took me a while to notice the badge at the top said "Touchme".
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Male 52
Alright, blow the trumpet of justice, touch oasis, with that illustration? It has gotta be trolling. There`s just... no... way...

please...
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Male 2,796
Seriously... some christians are so out of tune to common sexual perception.
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Male 17,512
That whole illustration needed to be re-thought.
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Male 699
0.0
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Male 1,523
Nice one, Pooptart19.
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Male 768
The priests name is Oasis.
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Male 38,457
Jesus Juice
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Male 235
i didnt know he could turn that into wine!
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Male 2,440
Come to the Lord or the Lord will come on you.
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Female 2,695
repentance, indeed!
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Male 24
O_O
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Male 15,510
I agree with the concept though, whats the point to keep trying to hide the obvious
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Male 425
He`s drinking wine
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Female 430
jesus you should marry a woman all these years of deprivation will give this result
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Male 5,314
what`s dripping?
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Female 839
hmmm
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Male 1,378
hahaha
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Male 510
@benbowles um... i dont think those are tears
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Male 2,700
"You are supposed to swallow, no REPENT"

Even the little circle on top of the picture "Touch me" WTF
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Male 928
Are you sure those are tears?
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Male 121
Ten hail Mary`s and 1...
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Male 75
the tears and everything.
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Male 4
i can only imagine what the priests are like
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Male 532
"Hello Jesus, why don`t you have a seat over here? I`m Chris Hanson with MSNBC and we`re doing a story about online predators, would you like some lemonade?"
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Male 20,111
Link: Why Not Try The Touch Oasis Ministry Church? [Pic] [Rate Link] - Here, this is the church`s new member pamphlet--looks like a nice enough place.
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