Satanic Menu: What`s For Lunch, I-A-B? [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago in Funny

Mmm, I"m really in the mood for some Ice Dragon"s Vomit today.
There are 135 comments:
Female 914
do some research on the upside down cross, it`s funny.
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Female 324
Can I get the ice dragon`s vomit without the avocado, please?
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Male 774
Well the upside-down cross makes no sense as a satanic symbol (thank you cracked), and I think the pentagram isn`t a perfectly proportional star, it has to have one point longer than the rest.

But, still, I didn`t think the target demographic for this kind of thing was high enough to base a restaurant off of.
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Female 533
lol this place seems awesome
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Female 15
lol "slow roasted ribs...from children"
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Male 134
the sorrowful cries of freshly widowed women
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Female 314
chips and salsa?
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Female 1,181
is this real? where is it?
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Female 76
If you build it.... They will come
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Female 202
"we dont know what it is exactly, but it`s metal as drat" hahahah
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Female 535
I prefer the impaled skull myself. I like to drink things from it when I`m done. It makes me feel victorious.
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Female 1,077
WHY ISNT THIS REAL?
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Male 1,343
I saw this right after looking at this and lol`d. Epic
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Male 312
For some reason I love the "Chicken Quesadilla of the Infinite Apocalypse"
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Male 71
I did some research and have come to the conclusion that this is not a menu from a real restaurant. Someone printed it, laminated it, and took a snapshot on a table in a diner.

No less awesome, though. I don`t think a restaurant serving Ice Dragon Vomit would stay in business long, anyway.
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Male 427
I`ll take a Disney Metal Bullpoo for Posers please.
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Male 1,164
The Lich King Burger sounds good.

If you can`t tell which one that is, gtfo the internet.
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Male 49
Sorry to destroy your fun but...Fake and gay.
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Female 682
I want the suburban shock burger, but could you make it a veggie? Thanks. Hail to you and your epic restaurant, Dark Lord. ^_^
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Male 28
STOOPID
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Male 199
i approve!
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Female 282
I want to go there....

Lmfao abyssness
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Male 6,693
Chips ans salsa pls.
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Male 723
I`ll have the Cheese Quesadilla of the Infinite Apocalypse and the lady will have the Disney Metal Bullpoo for Posers, please. Oh, and a couple of Cokes? Thanks bunches.

Oh, uh, yeah, hail Satan to you too.

\m/__\m/ LJ
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Male 478
the most awesome menu on the planet
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Male 5,626
I so want a franchise of this restaurant.

Where is this place?
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Male 21
No broodwich? Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in Hell`s half-acre, baked by Beelzebub, slathered with mayonnaise beaten from the evil eggs of dark chicken forces into sauce by the hands of a one-eyed madman, cheese boiled from the rancid teat of a fanged cow, layered with 666 separate meats from an animal which has maggots for blood.
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Male 1,343
I saw this right after looking at this and lol`d. Epic
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Male 769
I might just change my name to `Ostensibly Beef` now.

Where is this wonderful magical place?!
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Male 83
"We don`t know what this is,exactly.
But it`s Metal as drat."

AWESOME!!!
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Female 217
"chips and salsa. so grim"
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Female 51
I would go to this place, but I`d get dirty looks from the staff for laughing. :D
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Male 191
I want to know what the bottom right says it starts: Consuming Uncooked meats or eggs may result in a most brutal, and then cuts off
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Female 151
That is amazingly awesome.
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Male 1,357
Fire Kings Majesty please.
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Male 30
haha...maybe a kitten
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Female 149
I wanna know the name of this place sooooooo bad, I really do!
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Male 113
So Grim.
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Male 258
Served with shackles of Judeo-Christian culture for added bleakness
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Male 500
i want to go there
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Male 383
No veggie burgers? Is veganism not satanic now?
"We don`t know what it is, exactly. But it`s metal as drat"
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Female 296
ill take the cheese quesadilla of the infinite apocalypse.
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Female 118
"I`ll take 1 of everything, put it on God`s tab"

hahaha good one
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Male 112
Theyre satanically delicious!
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Male 690
"Northern Impaled Nazarene Skull: Our vegetable soup, exuded from a gorgon`s teat daily"

Gorgons lactate vegetable soup? That`s good to know :P

"The Black Stars Above Carcosa Shine With Unholy Delight At The Suffering Of The Last Unicorn In The Elven Moonforest Of Icy Black Abyssness. Yes....Abyssness."

lmao I`ll order that just to say it xD

I lol`d at the Chips and Salsa and Fire King`s Majesty.
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Male 5,626
"...if you turn a cross 180 degrees, it somehow
becomes evil..."
I`d say it`s more a symbol of people that feel let
down by Christianity.

Or even the symbol of someone that at one time
had a great amount of faith but suffered a
ridiculous fate.
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Male 3,482
[quote]i think it`s funny how hollywood has convinced everyone that if you turn a cross 180 degrees, it somehow becomes evil.[/quote]
Fun fact: The first inverted cross used in a religious sense was used by a Catholic because he felt he was not worthy of dying in the same way Jesus did.

Also, there are inverted crosses pretty much all over the Vatican, if you look.

Soo, yeah. By wearing an inverted cross, you`re not being hardcore, metal, or Satanic. You are showing the absolute sign of true respect to Jesus and the Catholic church.
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Male 179
i think it`s funny how hollywood has convinced everyone that if you turn a cross 180 degrees, it somehow becomes evil.
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Male 648
I`ll take 1 of everything, put it on God`s tab
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Male 5,626
"...The black stars above Carcose shine with unholy delight of the last unicorn..."
Make it two, please. And a little pineapple on the side if there is any...
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Male 721
I would feel awkward telling the waiter/waitress that I want "The black stars above Carcose shine with unholy delight of the last unicorn in the Elven Moonforest of ice black abyssyness. Yes... abyssyness".
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Female 225
Disney Metal Bullpoo for Posers
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Female 317
I like the "ostensibly beef".
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Male 686
Chips and Salsa. So Grim.
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Male 1,598
PLEASE tell me where this place is, they`re awesome.
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Male 5,189
Looks yummy.
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Female 3,598
hahah where is this place?
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Male 4,807
The prices seem reasonable. Probably small portions though.... wait a sec? Frashly widowed woman on a seseme roll $6.95 ??
What a rip off!!
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Male 3,482
"We don`t know what this is, exactly.
But it`s Metal as F*ck."
I lol`d.

"Slow roasted ribs."
Okay, cool enough...
"From Children."
WTF, lol?

"Abyssyness. Yes, Abyssyness."
Lol.

I wonder if you can request who you get a picture of when you order the Suburban Shock Burger...

Lastly: There had DAMN well better be 1000 mozzarella stix in that one appetizer. If not, I`m complaining to Satan that I didn`t get everything I wanted out of that deal, and I want my soul back.

Overall... SO MUCH WIN. I wanna eat there so bad right now, lol. I`d sell my soul for the chance. To bad I already traded it for... Well, let`s leave that a secret, shall we?
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Male 418
Fire kings majesty!!!!hahahahaha
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Female 1,593
Interesting.
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Male 143
Lol the last burger is served with a dyed black bun and picture of serial killers.
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Female 92
Disney Metal BS for Posers??? hahahah
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Male 1,451
Sheilakh, you don`t consider "exuded from a gorgon`s teat daily" a witty addition?

PS: where`s the booze? I`m picturing Bud Light Lime.
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Male 56
Anyone else notice that Soup doesn`t have a witty addition on it?
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Male 75
It could be Mr. Lordi`s Rocktaurant
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Male 391
If this place exists, it is awesome.
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Male 454
Yep, make mine the Fire King`s Majesty.

Seriously, where is this place? I wanna go!!

Oh, and, Hail Satan!
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Female 322
"We don`t know what this is, exactly. But it`s Metal as f***" lol
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Male 25
What a... ?
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Male 90
You havent dined until youve dined in the eighth layer of hell. There,they serve slow roasted fire,with a side of fire,and to top it off,more fire,with tobasco,and salsa,its basically a mexican restaurant,only just the hot stuff. Hitler will be your waiter today. Please enjoy our fine selection of beverages of acidic nature. Dont forget to tip!
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Female 1,893
fire kings majesty.. not sure what itiss lol
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Male 15,510
Meh,the regular stuff you can find in any other restaurant, only with funky names
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Male 515
i must eat here for novelties sake
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Male 2,159
"Yes... Abyssyness". That was my first clue that maybe this isn`t a serious menu...
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Male 121
Chips and Salsa
So Grim
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Male 2,056
chips and salsa
so grim.
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Male 2,510
slow roasted ribs, from children.
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Male 7,839
what resturant is this, i would like to visit at least once.
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Male 5,194
>>I really like taylor_stone`s idea. Lets do it!

YEAH! Lets!
Assuming it`s not more than, like, you know - an hour`s drive.
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Male 22
"We don`t know what this is exactly, but it`s metal as f***." Epic Win x 10^Win
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Male 25,416
what, thats so dumb!
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Male 1,184
Also, I`m pretty sure someone wrote and printed this menu himself/herself. Don`t think it`s a restaurant.
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Male 1,184
Hrm... anyone know what the sorrowful cries of freshly widowed women taste like?
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Male 1,256
Amazing Lulz at "Chips and Salsa"!
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Male 2,688
@Davymid


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Male 2,121
win davymind!
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Male 2,441
oh gawd
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Male 2,148
My new goal in life is to find this place and eat there. Eating a salad that`s metal as drat is one thing I`ve never done before.
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Male 12,138
Dat so, Homegrown?

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Male 447
Fire King`s Majesty: We don`t know what this is but it`s metal as drat.

I want to go there so bad lol.
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Male 224
I would totally want to eat there if they didn`t skew the concept beyond the necessity. They didn`t even name their dishes properly. I understand them using such long descriptions but the title says a thousand mozzarella stix and so I would assume they are piling 1000 mozzarella sticks onto my plate for 5.19. And I`d also expect to eat a kitten, if it says thats what the cute meat may be I want it to be a damned kitten...don`t you toy with my taste pallet. If the detail says cat I want some damned cat.
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Male 17
Slow roasted ribs. from children.... lol. i so wna find this place
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Male 9
The suburban shock burger is served with provolone cheese, a black died bun, and pictures of serial killers.
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Male 372
"I`ll take the cheese quesadilla of infinite apocalypse! and a coke"
"Sorry sir, we only have pepsi here"
"THIS PLACE IS SAAAAAAAAAATAAAAAAAANICCCCCCCCCCC"
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Male 316
Haha. I like how soups is just soups.
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Male 12,138
I need to find this place. I need to.
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Male 1,386
chips and salsa

so grim.
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Male 2,688
Hindsight observation:

Could you imagine if this place has seating for, say, 120 guests and even something as low as 1/32 of IABs users showed up all in one day???

1. There`d be a line around the block... twice
2. They`d possibly run out of the means to make the stuff we order.
3. There`d be fights between IABers due to such violent disagreements in the forums. (Check any political or religious post to see what I mean)
4. They`d run out of beer. (TRAGEDY)
5. They`d make more money in that one day than they likely do ALL MONTH...
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Female 2,352
I want to eat there. .
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Female 8,115
Ostensibly beef- rotflmao!!! I think it must be in the States as it refers to ground beef, not mince. But yes- we should all turn up, sounds an excellent venue!!
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Male 10,855
kinky.

hehe
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Male 346
"we dont know what this is exactly, but its metal as drat"

i died
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Female 98
I really like taylor_stone`s idea. Lets do it!
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Female 1,682
Haha. I would love to go to this place. Looks hilarious.
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Female 172
i agree with taylor_stone.
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Female 833
this wouldn`t be from the Pit and Pendulum in nottingham would it? oh so many memories of misspent goth youth.
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Male 5,194
I`ll have the Fire King`s Majesty.
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Male 2,688
NEW IAB MISSION:

Find this restaurant and pick a special date and a pooe ton of IAB users will go to this restaurant EN MASSE and we will all order the Fire King`s Majesty... And god willing they serve beer/wine and we can all get drunk and have a live action IAB forum... :p
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Male 54
On the way in a cute coat girl helps you out off your soul probably.
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Female 73
That`s just so cheesy
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Male 394
I want the Fire King`s Majesty so badly...
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Male 575
Welp, I know where I`m going to get dinner.
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Male 3,058
1. Does this place really exist?

2. DO THEY FRANCHISE? Please?
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Female 9,584
I want to go to this place.
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Male 2,688
"I`ll have an Odin`s Mighty Horde with a side of an Onion Star of Misery... and could I get a pint of Guinness to wash that all down?"

Oddly enough, its almost comfortable to order this...
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Female 1,623
I want some Satanic Buffalo Chicken Strips, and a Northern Impaled Nazarene Skull mmmm.. delicious
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Female 347
A burger served with pictures of serial killers. It`s definitely unique.
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Male 417
i gotta find this restaurant
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Male 4,680
Reminds me of that Simpsons episode where they go to the Itchy and Scratchy restaurant.
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Female 200
This menu is hilarious.
"We don`t know what this is, exactly. But it`s metal as drat." XD
I want to go to this place.
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Male 964
I love the description for Fire king`s majesty!
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Male 2,506
THOSE PRICES <3
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Male 195
Chips and salsa :D
So grim
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Male 716
Hm... I`ll take the Chips and Salsa please. They`re so grim! I love it!
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Female 614
chips and salsa. so grim.
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Male 2,004
i loled at the right page food names
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Female 21
I wanna go there! I don`t know why, maybe it`s the slow roasted ribs... from children that calls me or maybe the one with flesh from something cute. I`m not sure.
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Male 592
I would eat here.

EVERY. F*CKING. DAY!
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Male 23
what a metal restraunt.
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Male 900
I`ll have the Fire King`s Majesty please, cause I`m Metal as FJuck, much like it is.
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Male 78
I would eat there.
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Male 806
is this like Hell`s Pizza from the interactive youtube video?
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Male 848
I am hungry.
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Male 21,006
Link: Satanic Menu: What`s For Lunch, I-A-B? [Pic] [Rate Link] - Mmm, I`m really in the mood for some Ice Dragon`s Vomit today.
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