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52 Comments - View/Add
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Rating: 4.4
Category: Funny
Date: 08/11/10 05:31 PM

52 Responses to Fortune Cookie Predicts Future… And Past? [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18942 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 5:26 pm
    Link: Fortune Cookie Predicts Future... And Past? - The cookies--they`re getting smarter.
  2. Profile photo of ElMustache
    ElMustache Male 18-29
    1625 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 5:40 pm
    I want to print some that say "Poisonous, Do Not Eat."
  3. Profile photo of AnImbroglio
    AnImbroglio Male 30-39
    838 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 5:47 pm
    Talent.
  4. Profile photo of gchimmel
    gchimmel Female 18-29
    667 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 6:01 pm
    in bed
  5. Profile photo of Alchemist673
    Alchemist673 Male 13-17
    16 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 6:11 pm
    I once got one that said "You will be hungry again soon, order a takeout now."
  6. Profile photo of Deppfan9551
    Deppfan9551 Female 18-29
    9 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 6:33 pm
    Haha, I got one that said "You will recieve a nice cake." I never got that cake.
  7. Profile photo of 17945
    17945 Male 18-29
    725 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 6:45 pm
    I remember getting one that said "Soon, you will be with riches."

    I still haven`t won the lottery. :(
  8. Profile photo of Arbniter20
    Arbniter20 Male 13-17
    332 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 7:05 pm
    My favorite cookie of all time was one that said "Promote literacy. Buy a box of fortune cookies today!"
  9. Profile photo of sarahjanae
    sarahjanae Female 30-39
    91 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 7:15 pm
    (Ignore pubic hair in my carpet.)
  10. Profile photo of zombiebish
    zombiebish Female 18-29
    137 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 7:18 pm
    Best one I ever got was "You are looking for guidance in the wrong places. Cookies are for eating."
  11. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 7:20 pm
    lolz
  12. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    33134 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 7:25 pm
    vv @Deppfan9551 The cake is a LIE!
    Lolz!
  13. Profile photo of MEZA
    MEZA Male 18-29
    333 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 7:28 pm
    Haha they should make comedy ones but no cheesy jokes
  14. Profile photo of neonsharpie
    neonsharpie Female 18-29
    172 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 7:32 pm
    Best one ever: "Whew! It`s about time I got out of that cookie!"
  15. Profile photo of inversegrav
    inversegrav Male 30-39
    770 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 7:48 pm
    My Favorite cookie:
    Unexpected visitors are comming. Lock your doors.

    I Kid You Not.
  16. Profile photo of iplaymusic
    iplaymusic Male 18-29
    292 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 8:18 pm
    In bed.
  17. Profile photo of Muffinzzz
    Muffinzzz Male 13-17
    50 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 8:27 pm
    Ha I know the guy at this chinese place by my house, he orders "Gag Fortune Cookies" silly things like "Order More Chinese Food!" and "You didn`t eat chicken!" Kinda dumb but it`s always funny to see an unordinary fortune cookie :P
  18. Profile photo of DrProfessor
    DrProfessor Male 18-29
    3894 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 8:28 pm
    ...in bed.
  19. Profile photo of DavioMagnifi
    DavioMagnifi Male 13-17
    600 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 9:00 pm
    my favorite is:
    Always consult others before trying unusual things.
  20. Profile photo of Seak
    Seak Male 18-29
    1503 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 9:02 pm
    I once opened one that said, "You are surrounded by morons."
  21. Profile photo of zmeace
    zmeace Male 18-29
    807 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 9:39 pm
    in bed? what does that mean about this pic
  22. Profile photo of GuardinGnome
    GuardinGnome Male 18-29
    2893 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 9:48 pm
    Fortune cookies don`t mean sh*t.
    Oh crap now I`m gonna die next time I eat Chinese food......
  23. Profile photo of Rawrandmer
    Rawrandmer Female 13-17
    282 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 10:14 pm
    @zmeace If you say `in bed` after things like fortune cookies, song titles, things like that...it just makes it funnier.
  24. Profile photo of BrandNizz1e
    BrandNizz1e Male 18-29
    3 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 10:22 pm
    @zmeace
    they say you should end every fortune cookie with "...in bed"
    just put it with em all and you get some funny results
  25. Profile photo of Uncertainty
    Uncertainty Female 18-29
    196 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 10:38 pm
    When it comes to fortune cookies, I tend to add "EXCEPT in bed" to the end of my fortunes. I find it to be a fun but negative little twist on the usual game.
  26. Profile photo of AnarchistGod
    AnarchistGod Male 70 & Over
    893 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 11:08 pm
    One
    Two
    Three
  27. Profile photo of Jui37
    Jui37 Female 18-29
    463 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 11:24 pm
    Haha. -_-
  28. Profile photo of DarkFerret
    DarkFerret Male 18-29
    2749 posts
    August 11, 2010 at 11:33 pm
    nice... but wat if it was a good one?
  29. Profile photo of GRadde
    GRadde Male 18-29
    2556 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 12:32 am
    >Uncertainty
    It is a shame when IAB doesn`t quote, but shouldn`t we be an example? For example, your comment is exactly the punchline of an XKCD-strip. You didn`t get it from there did you? ;)
  30. Profile photo of Homegrown71
    Homegrown71 Male 18-29
    224 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 1:12 am
    But what if you get this again after this one...do you ignore the cookie which told you to ignore the other cookie so therefore the first cookie is still in effect...crap, i just confused myself.
  31. Profile photo of aseirinn
    aseirinn Male 70 & Over
    877 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 2:02 am
    i like cream carpets
  32. Profile photo of IQover
    IQover Male 13-17
    1043 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 3:09 am
    ._. I got confused..
  33. Profile photo of Bioshocker
    Bioshocker Male 13-17
    593 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 3:38 am
    If the previous cookie said don`t trust the next cookie, then your completely f*cked! XD
  34. Profile photo of IamBored29
    IamBored29 Male 18-29
    648 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 7:17 am
    The worst is when you get one at the end of the meal, that says "The beef is actually Cat"
  35. Profile photo of polar_bear
    polar_bear Male 18-29
    89 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 7:30 am
    assuming the same person also had the `previous` cookie lol
  36. Profile photo of meepmaker
    meepmaker Male 30-39
    6694 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 7:51 am
    But the last cookie was a good one. Oh well, so much for the wealth coming my way.
  37. Profile photo of Nocciolina
    Nocciolina Female 18-29
    1623 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 8:46 am
    I love those cookies.
  38. Profile photo of Heureux
    Heureux Male 40-49
    1054 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 10:17 am
    I expected it to read "You will be hungry in an hour".
  39. Profile photo of Heureux
    Heureux Male 40-49
    1054 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 10:21 am
    "It is a shame when IAB doesn`t quote, but shouldn`t we be an example? For example, your comment is exactly the punchline of an XKCD-strip. You didn`t get it from there did you? ;)"

    Silly - variations on the "in bed" tag (including "except in bed") for fortune cookies have been around for at least 4 decades.
  40. Profile photo of BunnyNaku
    BunnyNaku Female 18-29
    5224 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 12:22 pm
    lol
  41. Profile photo of GuessWhat122
    GuessWhat122 Male 18-29
    2 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 12:47 pm
    what if this was my first cookie?
  42. Profile photo of Shahar102
    Shahar102 Female 18-29
    517 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 3:15 pm
    GuessWhat122 - than you`re a smart*ss >_>
  43. Profile photo of britt566
    britt566 Female 18-29
    2290 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 3:44 pm
    "GuessWhat122 - than you`re a smart*ss >_>"

    then**
  44. Profile photo of dooflotchie
    dooflotchie Female 30-39
    336 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 4:21 pm
    I still think my favorite fortune cookie message was the best. I got one that said:
    ________________________________
    You will move to a wonderful new
    ________________________________

    It`s so mysterious...so tantalizing! A wonderful new what?! Job? House?

    PLANET?!?!?!

    Oh pleeeeeeease let it be planet!
  45. Profile photo of xXKaryXx
    xXKaryXx Female 13-17
    635 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 6:16 pm
    gasp!!
  46. Profile photo of pwnda
    pwnda Female 18-29
    176 posts
    August 12, 2010 at 9:04 pm
    thats so not a fortune.
  47. Profile photo of last-iconOC
    last-iconOC Male 13-17
    152 posts
    August 13, 2010 at 12:48 am
    what if you`re last fortune cookie told you to ignore you next fortune cookie? the first won would obviously take precedence because of age right? or would the new one be more important since its well...newer, shiner, now with 36% more fortune.
  48. Profile photo of teampink27
    teampink27 Female 18-29
    533 posts
    August 13, 2010 at 1:04 am
    so you`re saying my fortune cookie was a lie?!
  49. Profile photo of OctoberRose
    OctoberRose Female 18-29
    61 posts
    August 13, 2010 at 4:30 am
    It`s because the previous cookie is being bad. It just wants attention...
  50. Profile photo of DeadDisco
    DeadDisco Male 18-29
    91 posts
    August 13, 2010 at 6:53 am
    There is no cookie.
  51. Profile photo of xtreme_dude
    xtreme_dude Male 18-29
    1372 posts
    August 15, 2010 at 1:44 pm
    That`s not a fortune, it`s instructions.
  52. Profile photo of JohnnyBoy50
    JohnnyBoy50 Male 13-17
    88 posts
    August 18, 2010 at 1:44 pm
    What if I get two of these? The second one will tell me to ignore the previous cookie (which told me to ignore the previous cookie). So I DON`T ignore the previous cookie making my the fortune cookie before the first one telling mt to ignore the previous cookie NOT ignored? That`s awesome!

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