Fat Man Shoots A Gun, Makes It His Bitch

Submitted by: Joshguy666 6 years ago Funny

So much for Newton"s laws of motion. (Science geeks will get this reference.)
There are 66 comments:
Male 102
"All you need in life is God, guns n` beer"

Only partly true...I never could get a taste for beer.
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Female 105
Prefer my rifle.Of course people are going to laugh at a fat guy with a small gun. Its like a cartoon in reality for them.

sadly a lot of you yanks have only seen guns on NCIS. lol.
What was it my grandpaw said?" All you need in life is God, guns n` beer.
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Female 38
makes it his b***h?
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Male 37
tiight
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Male 83
oooooollllllddddd. Not really that funny.
Obesity is no joke......


lol
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Female 56
I saw this video on Tosh.O`s first season. He made a crap load of funny jokes to go along with it.
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Male 102
T-Marley, my rapid firing is a trick that stays at the range. I know for a fact that it does nothing for accuracy. I am a firm believer in shot placement. I carry my Tok every day and I know without a doubt that I could put every bullet I fire onto a target`s chest at 30 yards, possibly even 40 yards. I`ve been known to shoot silhouette targets at 100 yards with 40% accuracy(meaning on the silhouette, not just on paper). That`s with a pistol, mind you.

I am not a "spray and pray" guy, I was merely pointing out that there are better ways to achieve a high rate of fire. Your insults are baseless.

I am simply a normal, law-abiding, laid back, responsible gun owner. I don`t flash it around, I don`t threaten or intimidate with it, I don`t even want to have to use it. I would rather have it and never need it than need it and not have it. I need prove nothing to you. Good day and carry responsibly :)
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Male 6,694
Thats a lot of dude.
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Female 48
Impressive. At least he is good at something besides eating.
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Male 490
"yep thats enough exercise for today"
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Female 3,598
watch the video the second on the right at the bottom when this one ends, it much better, it`s a granny shooting a machine gun!!
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Male 364
"No way, bitch, those are MY chicken nuggets. YO DAMN!"
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Female 359
wow big man
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Male 176
Recoil is that man`s Bitch...
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Male 101
"He`s shooting a salad" So mean, but I still lol`ed :P
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Male 39
Yep, you are drated.
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Male 2,332
"He`s shooting a salad."

:D
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Male 769
i fired like that all the time at the arcade when i was playing games like "Area 51" and "Time Crisis"
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Male 697
He`s shooting a salad.
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Male 1,243
Gee, even fat people can be gun wielding fools.
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Male 509
That could look pretty damn cool in slow motion with a closeup of his fat.

...I think that came out wrong.
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Male 152
fat people will never cease to amuse me.
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Male 1,452
what he is doing is bump firing, its where you pull keep pulling on the gun and let the recoil send it back as you are pulling on it and you end up firing a semi automatic fast enough to make it seem automatic
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Male 395
The comments are always funnier :)
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Male 722
Okay, so where`s all the people complaining about how fat America is?
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Male 224
Imagine if the US military only recruited people like this...who would drat with an army of these guys toting guns that they can fire by using their fat to absorb the recoil. He can probably be outfitted with two handheld .50 MG`s and just wonder the streets of Baghdad, probably would be able to absorb the IED`s and RPG attacks too.
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Male 602
Barber, let us see some video of that CZ action.

This guy probably is the head of a motor scooter gang. Chasing people through wal-mart, firing his pistol wildly.

The rule in most combat shooting environments that any normal person would face(1-2 attackers, and rarely 3 or more); it is shot placement, not shots fired. If that whole magazine is emptied in a city environment, every bullet goes somewhere. Then you are left with a useless piece of steel, and are lucky if you have a 30% hit rate with a 9mm, with through and through bullet holes. Two in the chest is going to make anyone think twice, and that`s plenty of time for the third to the head, or to give a second attacker something to think about. And then, even with my .45 you still have half a magazine or more left. (Depending on if we talk 1911 or XD)

"Know not only your target, but what is beyond your target."

A fairly impractical tactic and a classic definition of a Mall Ninja.
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Male 2,893
Guns are so damn cool.
Good thing I have 7.
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Male 17,512
This video is so old it`s annotations are in hieroglyphics.
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Male 102
skypirate, I can shoot faster than that WITHOUT bump firing. I`ve emptied my CZ-82`s 12 round magazine in as little as 1.5 seconds and my Romanian Tokarev`s 8 round magazine in about the same(shoots slower due to the extra recoil). The CZ has a ridiculously nice sweet spot, so I can get it to auto-fire two to four rounds at once with ease(feels like only one trigger pull, but it`s actually not). Bump firing is stupid. Learn to sweet spot your trigger and you`ll never go back.
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Male 25,416
meh
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Male 699
its the science of the bouncer belly
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Female 1,604
he probably holds it like that because he can`t put his arms straight out.
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Male 225
for every action there is an EQUAL and opposite reaction. So if you wanna see this guy move, you`re going to need a cannon
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Male 12,365
Science geeks would also wonder why anyone thinks this disproves(*) Newton`s laws of motion.


* I know that strictly speaking they have been disproved and aren`t scientific laws, but this is far, far within the boundaries within which they are very accurate approximations.
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Male 2,419
@tyrannus he`s bracing it against his stomach to absorb the recoil :P
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Male 2,121
Must... resist urge... to make... nerdy comment...!
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Male 201
Why is he holding it like that? Also, lose weight.
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Male 10,848
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDD!!
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Female 917
Bang, bang, bang.

I really wanted the gun to fly back into his stomach and then have slow motion of the fat rolls rippling.
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Male 1,378
I think I did also.
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Male 795
Did he just ejaculate?
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Male 181
How do you know he shot a gun? I can`t see what he`s firing his gun at in the video...
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Male 1,834
cool
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Male 1,184
Dievs, the fattest man in the world lives in Mexico.
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Male 5,019
All that is useless if he need ages to extract the gun from the huge ammount of fat.
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Male 37,917
nothing smaller than a cannon could have enough recoil to knock that guy down.
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Male 491
Well if you can`t find your penis......
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Female 1,095
loud video is loud. D:
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Male 2,332
"Seriously, if I met this dude as an assailant in a dark alleyway"

You wouldn`t see him coming, he can sneak up on you like..the moon :o
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Male 670
dukat, i think its the lack of exercise. everybody has a car these days so after work you can just drive home and watch tv or go on iab. they might even pick up some mcdonalds on the way.
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Male 1,548
`Murka!
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Male 2,005
its difficult to be thin when your wealthy
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Male 15,510
Yeah, why to be healthy when you have a gun
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Female 71
My brother works in Romania and he has said he has only seen 2 or 3 fat people there in ten years - and they were they only rich people around. I also saw a documentary about fat in America, and one person they chronicled was a kid about 8, who came here from a poor country - it was the variety of food that did him in = he wanted to try everything. They say during the middle ages the only fat people were the rich = sooooooooo does American prosperity breed American obesity?
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Male 5,609
Davy,
Don`t you think he`d already have his own?
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Male 3,915
take that Jared!
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Male 24
Theoretically, fat people don`t exist only in america; however, I have travelled quite a lot and never met anyone even half his weight outside of USA - so such guys are really, really rare elsewhere.
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Male 2,419
ummm... fat people don`t only exist in america and shooting ranges don`t only exist in america, so i`m willing to bet real money that somewhere this has happened outside of america
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Male 2,549
in his defense, id like to see any of you bump fire a pistol.
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Female 668
yep, that was a fat man shooting a gun alright...
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Female 61
I don`t get it.
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Male 12,138
Come on, seriously, there`s fat, and there`s TOO fat. F*ck a duck.

Seriously, if I met this dude as an assailant in a dark alleyway, all I`d have to do is throw a taco down his left flank. Distracted, hole in the face, game over.
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Male 645
OLD NEWS
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Male 25,416
wow, should be a bigger gun tho
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Male 50
Link: Fat Man Shoots A Gun, Makes It His Bitch [Rate Link] - So much for Newton`s laws of motion. (Science geeks will get this reference.)
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