5 Things You Can Do With Hookers [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago in Funny

and none of them have anything to do with sex...
Credits: The Oatmeal
There are 73 comments:
Female 89
This one time me and my friend was really drunk so we got hookers. But we were so scared to do anything so we took them to the carnival. Ahh IT crowd. So good.
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Male 577
My friend hired a Mexican guy from the corner where they all wait for work, to to roll joints, get cokes from he fridge, and play for him when he went to tha bathroom.

The sad part was that everytime that he went past that corner again and the guy was there he would get all excited. He could only afford to buy him for the one day, though.
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Female 30
Holy crap that Mario Kart one is GENIUS.
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Male 14
ha i could spend the rest of my life pointing out what was already on reddit, and, well, you know the rest. tl;dr already on reddit
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Female 1,380
@ mr.yellow, "you don`t write alitte, abunch, acantaloupe, aporkchop so DON`T write alot"
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Male 173
whore mountain... genius
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Male 55
Would a fat hooker REALLY be good for jousting?
I mean, in all fairness, fat people don`t run on two legs, what makes you think they`ll run on their hands and knees?
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Male 28
or just kill them, duh
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Female 535
Oh my God. I would totally play a two player shmup with a hooker. Sex would be totally unnecessary (but I wouldn`t turn it down.)
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Male 83
i`m thinking squoggle is a hooker.
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Male 224
I want to go get a hooker now to be the fourth on Mario kart or for an update on COD or something. If I`m paying for the time I would make her do all sorts of things to truly earn that money because I could get the same satisfaction she`s offering from a drunk chick for free but I probably couldn`t get a drunk chick to dance on a street corner to hillbilly music while she playings the jug and collects more money for me to pay her with. Now thats entertainment.
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Female 158
Urgh, not nice..
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Male 1,744
that bird poo doesn`t look like bird poo, especially in the context of hookers

and i swear that said couch farts for a second
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Male 2,893
Or you could kill one and use its murder as your alaby.
"No officer, I wasn`t anywhere near that Pot plantation in my backyard. I was too busy killing this hooker and burying her."
"Oh, OK. Move along."
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Female 113
They got it wrong!!!

The hooker needs to be "Whore Island" not "Whore Mountain."

Geez. People these days. :/
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Female 277
oatmeal is usually funny...but this is in bad taste
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Male 1,222
back-scratcher?! back-scratcher!
back-scratcher??? back-scratcher?
back-scratcher!! back-scratcher!!!!
back-scratcher
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Male 134
i love the oatmeal lol.
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Female 535
I would totally do the fort one.

What about the job of back-scratcher?!
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Male 5,189
Ohh Couch Frots....Awesomeness.
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Male 40
Thanks YoungOola now I have something to try when i`m older
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Male 325
I took one home to cuddle one time. She gave me my money back. Thanks Mom! :)
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Female 2,352
Man whore jousting sounds like a BLAST. :3

lol@ Whore Mountain.
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Male 9
That`s alot of couch cushions. I only have like, 3.
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Male 648
Whore mountain lol
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Female 34
He`s not the first man to scale Whore Mountain...
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Male 83
@VAJENGA
epic man
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Male 5,194
Magical caves of awesome!
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Male 1,793
Why I want to climb Whore Mountain, because it`s there...
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Male 558
wish I had the money to do stuff like this...
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Male 286
Hell Yes on Couch Forts!
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Male 532
As Charlie Sheen once said "You don`t pay hookers for sex, you pay hookers to leave after sex"
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Male 491
There boys need to get out of mom`s basement more often.
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Male 698
#1 is the best
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Female 346
Lmfao whore mountain.
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Male 25,416
I guess people will do anything for money!
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Male 63
.............I`m going out right now to buy some couch fort hookers
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Female 2,120
I wonder if they charge differently if you tell them straight away that you want to play Mario Kart...
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Male 533
Rofl
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Male 721
The extra mario cart player one if hilarious.
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Male 2,441
Whore mountain
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Female 1,623
I love The Oatmeal
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Male 900
He`s so mean to them!
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Female 347
You know, you really don`t have to be so mean to hookers. Most of them would love to play Mario Kart if given the opportunity.
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Male 258
haha Whore Mountain
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Female 854
Should have been Whore Island....
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Male 2,148
Personally, I think Alpha`s talking about the losers without friends so they need to pay a person to play Mario Kart with them or help with a pillow fort.
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Male 2,424
He forgot the best thing you can do with whores.
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Male 4,680
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Male 3,819
inb4 "are we posting everything the Oatmeal does now?" questions.
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Male 6,693
Whore mountain. I love it.
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Female 4,039
I would use one for a designated driver. It would probably be cheaper than a cab or a limo.
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Male 3,076
oh yeah I`m going to try Super Smash Brothers Brawl 4 Player, money well spent XD
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Male 417
@mmill928 they`re cheaper...
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Female 56
Alpha, I would think society`s most vulnerable would be, like, babies or kittens or puppies or something. Not whores.
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Male 39,948
alpha... they`re hardly "societies most vulnerable".

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Female 1,677
@mmill928: They`re all fat, not just the hookers.
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2,845
that just makes me want my old 64 back
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Female 275
Why are all of his hookers so fat?
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Female 9,572
I`ll admit, I chuckled.
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Female 27
@Alpha1971

Are you new here?
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Male 953
Whore Mountain ... it`s safer to plant your flag pole between the two mountains that at the peak :P
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Male 40,764
idk, seems like a lot of money for something you could force your younger brother/sister to do...
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Male 3
Now jousting would be amazing!
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Male 363
Joy. making fun of some of societies most vulnerable. Nice.
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Female 57
Whore Mountain made me giggle.
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Male 35
LOL - whore mountain.
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Female 696
OMG that is wonderful xD!
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Male 177
just want to go and climb whore mountain now
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Male 833
whore mountain sounds awesome
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Female 614
haha. whore mountain.
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Male 355
I like whore mountain
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Male 20,917
Link: 5 Things You Can Do With Hookers [Pic] [Rate Link] - and none of them have anything to do with sex...
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