The Periodic Table Of Swearing [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago in Funny

NSFW words, but very helpful next time you need to insult someone...
There are 74 comments:
Female 109
this is so from the uk. they say arse instead of ass and have more swearwords than us. damn.
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Male 34
this needs an audio sampler so we can hear our favorite swears pronounced.
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Male 2,893
My favorite is "Christ on a f*cking bike." LOL
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Male 784
@alexander_xx

I hate Hugh Grant too. Still, it was just a response to you saying bugger isn`t a British swear word. I mean, in the Periodic table of swearing there has to be some Noble Gases amongst the more heavy loaded motherf***ers. Even if Helium is a lighter gas than your average C**ksucking fart doens`t make it less valuable in the chart, Alexander A**wipe.

Still...I do miss the American classic Unclef**ker. Thank you Southpark.
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Female 418
o_O wow a lot of these just seem really stupid
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Male 3,425
I`m quite fond of toss and arse.
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Male 1,299
I wish there was an option in my profile to run swearing on/off...

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Male 660
@Hansompod Good one!
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Female 3,828
I hear ya, xtreme_dude. We all hate the swear filter. The best is when you write c o c ktail. it comes out roostertail.
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Male 196
C**t is the most used one around me. I use it at least 15 times a day.
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Male 339
@handsompod, good for you man, its how the word should be! :P so long as you dont bring us down by acting like hugh grant im still happy lol

for the record, any americans watching that clip, its humour based on a sterotype, not a documentary :P
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Male 1,108
alexander xx, arse is a great word and still very much in use. (It is in our household anyway)

In celebration of the word arse I propose a Bob Flemming sketch for those unfamiliar.

Arse!
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Male 1,371
WHY CAN WE NOT CURSE ON THIS WEBSITE?!
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Female 2,352
The pissed up section is pretty f*cking nonsensical.
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Male 40
How is Bs not bullsh*t?
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Male 25,417
Wow, i learned something! ublike the table of elements i can use this in day to day life :)
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Female 1,623
Mix this and some of the insults from the "100 best insults" video and you`ve got yourself an unlimited guide to swearing and insulting.
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Male 2,424
swearing cant be a science. Its like magic, the force, or religion... Start analyzing too much and it falls apart. Leave my swears alone science!
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Male 339
hugh grant is nothing to go by when talking about brits, noone here actually likes him,much less talks like him... in fact we think hes a drating idiot that keeps making us look like we cant talk to women without dribbling on ourselves and going into convultions, very inaccurate

and we very rarely say arse, thanks to americanisation we all also say ass. how do you people still not know this?

and whilst this chart may have been created by an british company it in no way reflects how the british actually swear. as rufio1980 said, you wanna know how we swear go check out a film by Guy Ritchie or Danny Boyle, those films are about as British as Britain gets!


about as posh as we get (clip from snatch)
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Female 349
Rufio, I couldn`t have explained it better myself :)
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Male 5,194
>>Looks like most of those on that chart were made up.

What are some real ones?
IAB KILL SWEAR FILTER NAO
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Male 3,285
Looks like most of those on that chart were made up.
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Female 55
I would hang this in my room
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Male 11
I see some of our American cousins are having a bit of trouble with British swearing. Don`t imagine Hugh Grant saying these words, try Brick Top out of Snatch. And you`ve never heard swearing as natural as it comes from a proper northerner. If you ever get to hear it from a Barnsley lad, it`s pure poetry.
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Male 13
Somebody needs to make an American version of this.
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Male 24
Nah, the word is arse ya tw@....
Its our language you speak rooster-chops
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Male 1,108
fknloser, ass is a donkey. I sit on my ass with my arse. See not so hard is it? Now stop talking out of your donkey.
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Male 784
@alexander_xx

I once heard Hugh Grant say bugger in a film...no sorry, in all his films.

13
[having just seen Carrie at his own wedding]
Charles: Dear Lord, forgive me for what I am about to, ah, say in this magnificent place of worship... Bugger! Bugger! Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger!
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Male 418
the word is A-S-S ! you brits and your stupid version of this word ` A-R-S-E ` .... just say ASS, `arse` sounds stupid, looks stupid and all around just plain stupid.
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Male 141
Dear Alexander XX,
Modern Toss is a British company. This was made by British people. If you have a complaint please take it up with your queen or whatever you do over there.
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Male 5
94,95,96 Possibly going to be used in every sentance in the near future thanks iab
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Male 552
right click. Save as..
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Male 6,694
Local whore. LOL
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Male 339
would you americans please get it into your head? british people dont swear like this! we use massive amounts of the words c*nt, f*ck and tw*t, we dont say `ar$e it` we would instead say `f*ck it` we dont say `b*lls` we say `b*llocks` i dont know of any brit that uses the word `bugger` in fact the only person i ever knew that did say that was an american kid trying to sound cool back when i was in primary school (elementary school equivalent)

and because we swear so much, the only way for people to know were really pissed off is to not swear at all!
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Male 5,194
>>For some reason, I`m just not impressed by British "curse words."

Some of them fall flat ("balls"? "arse it"?), but there are some really good ones on that list. I`m not sure what "Hammer the bollock out of it" or "Sh*tting a f*cking breeze-block" mean, exactly, but but they`re funny and I am adding them to my repertory. You need a good set of tools when working on a car, and you need a good set of profanity when you are working with tools.
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Male 40,401
86 Wh
Hey! This gets past the censors! lolz!
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Female 8,006
They forgot the two warnings of imminent maternal explosion. ` Oh for the love of God` and `For heavens sake`- whilst I swear with the best of them, when really needed the obscenities don`t quite cut it!
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Male 496
Not very much buggering on here. As an American, that`s the Brit swear word I appreciate the most. We`ve yet to come up with such a concise and elegant way to call someone an a*s f*cker.
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Male 5,189
Not bad..not bad at all.
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Male 1,108
@Lion, How dare you, you bally old pipsqueek!!
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Male 41
@hazeofwar Really? So f*g and d****e are better more insulting swearwords? Pah! Swearing is the only thing we Brits can do well!
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Male 8,302
@Handsompod

Jolly Rotter!!
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Male 187
This digaram being shown off on this website makes the riduculously restrictive profanity filter that much more insulting.
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Male 339
id be very suprised if this was actually british.. its farr too inoffensive, and thewhole queens english thing? only actors and thespians speak like that.
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Male 1,108
I couldn`t find Prick anywhere, then I saw Pringle wearing c*nt and thought, yeah close enough.

@lion Bounder!!
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Female 831
hey what... piss is not a swear word. also, arse couldn`t possibly be a swear word, it has an R.
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Male 2,506
Had to strain my eyes too hard,
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Male 8,302
> entwife
> British swearing is somehow funnier

You cad!
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Male 716
I think there are some elements undiscovered here.

Anyways, I want someone to narrate this like "The element song" for laughs.
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Male 2,549
Prat in a hat?

Suddenly I find myself wanting to read Dr Seuss
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Male 931
Ahh, it`s Modern Toss. Most of the time, stuff from them is hilarious but this, not so..
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Male 213
For some reason, I`m just not impressed by British "curse words." They just sound kind of lame and non-threatening. Like the Chinese guy from sixteen candles. "Those bastages!"
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Male 599
would have been much better had they worked with the abbreviations for the actual elements in the periodic table, this way is just dumb
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Female 32
Ah clearly the Queen English version.
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Male 271
Might have been funny if they made swears with the actual abbreviations of the elements.
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Male 1,266
This is stupid...
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Female 798
"doesnt really make any sense. its just a reason to have a bunch of swear words in one place."

just what I was thinking. Where`s the wit in this??
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Male 1,240
No Bitch, much less any mention of the son
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Male 4,014
We don`t say "arse" in the states, thus, I fart in your general direction.
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Male 117
Ugh! Where`s BINT on this???
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Male 5,314
FoSffb. Sfbb?
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Female 654
i think this is a class at FU
yea, good old FU, offering the latest in profanic and offensive education
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Male 2,748
Tp= Tw@t pocket... get it right
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Male 7,817
doesnt really make any sense. its just a reason to have a bunch of swear words in one place.
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Female 74
Oh my Jesus. I lol`d SO HARD.

STINK LIKE A P*SS CEEFAX. Wtf :D
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Female 1,006
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Female 536
British swearing is somehow funnier
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Male 339
laame, cmon fancy, at least try

@psychgeek: ballache is what guys get when theyre tempted with sex for a while and dont get any, balls go nuts produce a ton of sperm and they feel full enough to pop, it really hurts
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Male 161
the legend is wrong.
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Male 2,344
Plant`s Arsehole.

Oh my.
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Female 1,798
what is a f*cking ballache?
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Male 241
funny if i were still in 6th grade.

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Male 312
Ysfac!
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Male 20,830
Link: The Periodic Table Of Swearing [Pic] [Rate Link] - NSFW words, but very helpful next time you need to insult someone...
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