The Great Mermaid Debate: Tops Or Bottoms? [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago in Funny

Pop quiz, hot shot: Alone on an uninhabited island... what would you do? WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
There are 205 comments:
Male 8
fish top. When the girl has the brain of a fish sex is always an option. Blowjays are good but you have to wait until she`s ready for it
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Male 143
fish bottom, at least you can still talk to someone. Plus, I`m sure she has a fishey hole somewhere down there
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Female 30
Fish head.
Girls talk too much anyways.
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Male 211
fish bottom hellavon has it right
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Male 89
hellavon has the right idea.
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Male 111
Fish bottom, blowjays ftw
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Male 80
fish bottom.
fish head would creep me out
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Male 80
haha.. hmmm.. top half definitely... can`t really... talk to a fish head... and get an understandable response.. haha
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Female 517
LOL
AHAHHAAAAA
idk really, ima girl so fish-bottom for me :D
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Male 390
ill take fish bottom. I look at that
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Male 165
Bottom no doubt, unhabited island, companion (never mentionates sex)

Meh, i rather listening the fish half "FWAP"
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Male 806
if its going to look like either of these 2....i want top half
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Male 15,832
Fish head, `cause two out of three ain`t bad.
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Male 253
Top half human, Then you got boobs, and blowjobs, and fish have vagina`s right? If you pick top half fish, blowjobs will feel horrible, and it will die in seconds due to gills, not lungs.
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Male 250
also, please don`t ask why I know so much about the genitals of aquatic mammals... I don`t know why I do either...
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Male 250
Well assuming a mermaid is still mammalian in nature(has mammary glands, apparently has lungs, warm blooded. has hair.) then the reproductive system will still be relatively similar, despite outward appearance. What`s more, since it is an aquatic mammal, an the normal procedure for land mammals are ineffective in water, there will be the added bonus of a system where the muscles in the genitals are used to massage the male instead of normal pumping (as is the case with dolphins, porpoises, etc.)

TL;DR Normal mermaid would still be a better choice because the reproductive system will at least still be mammalian.
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Male 25
1 word. Blowjobs.
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Female 149
top half- fish still have a place to expel eggs, so: technical vagina.
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Male 192
The poop has to come out somewhere, astrogirl! ... need I say more?
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Female 169
ya can`t drat a fish! ... need I say more?
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Male 339
raiin... will you marry me? haha!

but really id have it the normal way round, i have a feeling if i was stuck on a desert island the lack of conversation might kill me, at least top half human can talk... and has b00bies! :D
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Male 2,056
top half. hands down.
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Male 5,626
@AlienPoison5
Code: *Types 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42...[Enter]* :-D "What were you doing out there with surgical tools?"
Alien: o:-) "Nothing. Just cooking a fish... Say, where`s that forbidden key?..."
Code: )-| "..."
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Male 558
got one word for ya... cloaca! tada!
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Male 192
Well since we`re talking mermaids here... I`m a surgeon and I`d just take both and combine the two to give her the surgery I *cough*, I mean SHE, deserves. Then we could do it in every position in existence AND have roasted fish for weeks!

...if all else fails, I`d just go to the hatch and go back in time before I ever got stranded :/
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Male 34
@raiin A lot of women are lucky that you`re not a guy with ideas like that
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Female 293
whelp, that top half better know how to deep [email protected] well, even if she did have a gag reflex, its not like she can run away.
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Male 1,678
Blowjobs and tittywanks would do me .. anyway wouldn`t the one without lungs suffocate out of water? Its one thing being a fishdrater, its another thing being a necrophiliac fishdrater
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Female 62
Seriously, who would actually pick B? (Except maybe The Cat from Red Dwarf). A all the way!
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Male 1,815
Hey Zvorygin, get over it. It`s the internet.
Also, beyond the sexual nature of this question, I`d rather talk to a mermaid than a fish-headed monster
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Male 48
One can give you a blowjob and the other can scare the poo out of you whilst still having the benefits of the lower regions. You know.. A blowjob will do it for me, a fishhead won`t.
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Male 720
What Nidonemo said. I don`t think I`d be able to get it up to a giant fish head anyway :-/
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Male 321
hmmm well seeing as how ive gotten myself onto and uninhabited island, ide be bound to have a first aid kit, so i would chop both of them in half sew the ladies together, giving me a companion and a delishes fish dinner.
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Male 363
fish head.... still has a pussy and ?she? wouldnt be able to talk your ear off
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Male 4
Plz no boobies without warning?
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Male 69
FWAP FWAP FWAP
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Male 250
anyone who says girl top fish bottom is a bloody wanker. fish head all the way
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Male 1,370
Mermaid. come on...this is obvious.
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Male 3
HMMM...I...Don`t...Know???? :)
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Female 5,222
lol id have to go with the lady top. the fish top would scare me
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Female 535
Half the fun is breasts.
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Male 9,305
I`d choose A. You have someone to talk to, someone to be with, and HELLO! She`s a freaking MERMAID! She probably has access to all the coolest undersea sh*t humans have never seen before!

And you`re more concerned with getting your rocks off!?
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Male 35
@saskeul - that tail would be like sandpaper.
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Male 27
A would be never ending fun, unlike B where it can get pregnant then you have a bunch of disgusting looking fish people.
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Male 343
A. Oral, and id imagine the tail area curled up aint that bad...
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Male 312
A. either oral or, as Scienceguy47 pointed out "it has to go poopy somehow"
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Male 97
well letter A has to go poopy somehow ;)
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Male 152
"I would never force myself to have sex with B. So I would have to pic A =)"

Hell, I`d do it now. Who said anything about forcing you? ;)
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Male 139
A.
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Male 16
I would choose A... Cause you dont need TWO things smelling like fish.
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Male 2,121
Switch the top halves and its problem solved, a giant fish and a woman to cook it for me.
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Male 26
I would never force myself to have sex with B. So I would have to pic A =)
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Female 199
if A had bigger boobies I would choose her, d`ohoho
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Male 2,424
"...snuggling with her every night would be better than just sex with a fish with a vagina."

BLASPHEME!
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Male 18
OBVIOUSLY A! What? Do you want to be stranded on an island AND have kids? Loser!
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Male 257
DEFINITELY the top, snuggling with her every night would be better than just sex with a fish with a vagina.
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Male 928
Keegan, you can still get a bj from B
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Male 8,300
Agree totally with Keegan. `A` is far more useful.
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Male 228
A. BJ`s & titties. End of story.
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Male 4,004
A. What is the point of sex without boobies? I would carve her fish tail into fish legs, and eat the meat, for survival. And the de-scale the fish legs into regular legs.

Of course the drawback is that her top half has a bigger mouth than option B.
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Male 283
`A`, because there`s GOT to be a hole
SOMEWHERE down there.

`B` Will haunt my dreams tonight...
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Male 559
Neither. I`d kill it and eat it with tarter sauce. Opps, uninhabited island means no tarter sauce.
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Male 149
do a cross surgery! Get a SUPER hot babe and a HUGE fish! It`s a WIN-WIN situation!
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Male 768
If it was just a sexual thing B. But you gotta think, you`ll prob be there for a while and are gonna need an actual companion, so A.
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Male 12,365
A, obviously. You couldn`t talk with B.
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Male 234
A. Titties and BJs.
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Male 2,619
Well I suppose the bottom half of A would smell like the top half of B
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Male 350
if there was enough lube around, I`d consider B for lifetime supply of anal. but I take A anyway - pretty face + boobs + blowjobs. and I`m sure she has some... cloaka. anything.
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Male 385
Your all forgetting....B can`t say no.
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Male 1,625
A. By a long shot.
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Male 45
A. forplay and bj`s
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Male 2,034
A for sure. BJ`s and boobies.
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Male 1
A. Can`t do it with my eyes closed, plus I don`t want no quarter fish babies running around
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Female 141
A. The tuna smell would be twice as bad with B.
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Male 1,178
A, blowjobs all round...
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Male 58
A - everyone knows that they grow legs once they dry off.... Then the bitch can go get some tuna or mahi-mahi for dinner.
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Male 1,164
B. Then I wouldn`t feel as bad after I killed it and ate it.
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Male 2,199
A... nuff said...
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Male 7
i dunno.... i`ve always wanted to make love to a fish.
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Male 987
A wont have periods.
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Male 894
A. can still blow ya
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Female 965
A.

All the fun of B but without the worry of preggers.
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Male 10,855
obviously A
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Female 126
A.
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Male 378
Boobies and bj`s. A for sure.
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Male 1,360
can i go for the three-way?
smells like fish but tastes like chicken-plug your nose and keep on lickin!
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Male 1,184
Neither, both are female.
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Male 695
A. B is the most terrifying seen I have ever seen in my life.
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Female 2,352
A wins it. Tits and because B`s vacant stare would drive me mad.
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Male 519
definitly A, B would give me nightmares
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Male 90
Titties!
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Male 7,830
also, it would be nice to have someone to talk to.
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Male 7,830
a, mouth love can get me by.
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Female 682
@panth753...good choice, lol
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Male 876
Is there really any question? A!
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Male 218
I would choose A. She has arms. She can catch my dinner - nobody wants a fish head for dinner, so B is out. That was the reason for the question, right? I can`t think of any other reason I would want a woman for!
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Male 25,416
Original mermaid for sure!
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Male 5,626
Which ever of the two can understand "Swim this bottle-note over to the Coast Guard ship and throw it on deck..."
"I would like to get back to the land of `the worst thing you ever see is a feminine character with that can check the `other` box...`"
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Female 9,572
A, It`s got bewbs and a mouth.
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Male 3,482
A.

Mouth, breasts, and hands. Probably wouldn`t stink nearly as bad. And she can live with her whole body outside the water.
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Female 3,574
@madest win.
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Male 131
You can do alot with the top half you know...
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Female 117
think about how sexy it would be doing B, what kind of sounds would that thing make?i suppose just different variations of that "fwapping" thing?
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Male 1,148
A, she`s got a mouth hasn`t she?
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Male 293
A. Mouth. That is all.
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Male 503
i`d take A) for blowjobs and handjobs. Although B) might be able to give me a Z-job. kudos to anyone who gets this reference.
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Female 654
scales..scales..scaley fishy sclaes.

after a while the fish head would stank, and its fwapping...
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Female 258
Dude, even if sex is the only deciding factor, wouldn`t A still be better? She has a mouth...
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Male 332
A for sure, tell the hoe to fix me a fish sandwich.
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Male 6,693
A. Someone to talk to.
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Male 237
Also, fish normalise reproduce by the females laying eggs, then the males ejaculating on them.

Think about that for a second.

Uh-huh. You would have to squeeze one out on a pile of fish eggs, just to reproduce.
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Male 237
Noone`s considered that fish spend allllll day gulping, that`s gotta be good practice for a little suttin` suttin`. Also, after said suttin` suttin`, you can then move onto to proper suttin` suttin` afterwards. Top half fish is the way to go.
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Male 1,287
you guys picking on guys picking A understand the notion of finding oneself on a desert island with an A or B only option (especially a drating mermaid) is one of fantasy, right?
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Male 39,893
like it matters.

the both smell the same.
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Male 2,121
A, its hotter...
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Male 2,688
Yeah, never thought I`d be on a boat
It`s a big blue watery road
Poseidon, Look at me, oh
Never thought I`d see the day
When a big boat comin my way
Believe me when I say, I fuucked a mermaid....
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Male 1,011
A.

Boobs, brains, BJ HJ.

And think about it...a mermaid would be able to breed somehow...so, you could still get SOMETHING :P..B would just be gross
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Male 1,313
Well you know.. with B, you might get sloppy head... but it`s still head. And at least all the other holes are readily available. Plus if she tries to leave you, you can always just kill her and fry her up.
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Male 7,378
Mel Gibson would choose "A" but she`ll need to smile while blowing him.
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Male 2,004
id definitely pick A, because B would be too freaky to look at during sex, besides B is something i would kill on first sight
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Male 1,523
Tops, the fish would die and get smelly.
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Male 1,182
You guys picking A understand that with a human head come a brains. Good luck getting her to give you guys blowjobs.... she would probably just flip you off and swim away.
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Male 40,734
Have to go with A, mostly for the boobies, and the negative prospect of kissing fishhead girl outweighs everything else.
There`s two-tailed mermaids also, eh?
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Male 4
GullCull: Even if she couldn`t breathe air doesn`t rule out BJ`s for the top half. Who says you need to be on land?
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Male 683
A always..... unless it is thursday, I like to get freaky on thursdays
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Female 282
I still vote A, mainly because....well, I don`t have much to do with the bottom of the fish-head thing...
Plus, A HAS BOOBS! and you can talk to it. AND BOOBS! and you can kiss it. AND BOOOOOOOBS!
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Male 4
Damn, everybody has the same reasoning that I came up with.

Top half: Able to swim and bring you to civilization, social companionship, BJ`s!

Bottom half: The obvious benefit (Vag), she wouldn`t be able to swim as good as the one with the tail but I`m guessing that fish head would ruin any chance of positive response anyway.
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Male 143
Can mermaids even breath outside of water? If they can`t there goes the blow jobs and communication. It would kill her.

Reverse mermaids I assume have the brain of a fish therefor would be easier to control. Just build an underwater cage and when you want some action tie it`s head down underwater and have at it.
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Female 282
lol @kilroy5555, you took this very seriously huh?
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Female 351
Top half, blow job, win.
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Male 496
Clearly I`m giving this a lot of thought. But be sure to factor in the possibility of anal when considering B.
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Male 496
And another point about B. How diligent do you think the fish will be about vaginal hygene?! Even if you put a paper bag (or some equivalent made from palm fronds) over the fish end, the smell from the other end would be a complete turnoff.
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Male 407
This is older than old
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Male 496
For whatever the benefits of B, wouldn`t the fish head die if it stays out of water? After a couple days in the hot sun, that`d be one smelly...
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Male 1,021
tops. We can talk, plus there`s always oral
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Male 833
top half, looks better and you can still get a bj... preferably one with bigger tits than the one in the picture
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Male 1,287
A. blow jobs and hand jobs are still hella fun. If she lays eggs like fish, I wonder if jizzing onto them would fertilize them. If so, what would the progeny look like? I`m intrigued in wholly indecent ways.
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Male 2,748
top half human... the other one is just creepy...
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Male 34
I agree with Mikeado, a giant fish chasing me is terrifying, and if you`re on an uninhabited island (aside from mermades of course) who would want to reproduce? Who wants their kids growing up on an uninhabited island?. Top half human.
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Male 214
I gotta go with the top half cause I think it would be a lot easier to look down and she human eyes looking back at ya then it would to look down to have fish eyes... and if she has a nice set of fun bags to boot, its a little easier to get over her not having a vagina... lol
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Female 612
Well, considering some mermaids were supposed to have the ability to split their tail into two legs when they went on land (a la Starbucks` mermaid or even sometimes with human legs), depending one who`s telling the tale, I`d think it would be worth it for some men to take their chances with A and hope she is one such mermaid.

Of course, I`m a girl, so I would pick A for companionship and her food-catching abilities.
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Male 456
I`d be freaked out if I saw a fish with human legs...very sexy human legs...
Yes, freaked out
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Male 1,129
bottom half for sure. i dont gotta kiss it but at least ill have steady vagina
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Male 177
surely b is a poisson girl
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Male 333
Depends on how far you want to go xD
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Female 448
A. Cause then she could get me fish and sh*t
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Male 645
gotta go top half..if only for the reason that she can swim me to safety.
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Male 2,159
Well a giant fish that can run after me is nothing short of horrifying, so I`m gonna go with top-half-human.
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Male 1,067
Definite top half human.
If I wanted to hang out with a fish, I`d go fishing.
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Male 807
hmmm has to be A: As our boy Mel would say "BL*W ME"
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Male 39,893
[email protected] good comeback

don`t knock it till you try one ;)
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Male 151
Bottom half. So I can populate the island with my 3/4 fish people.
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Male 605
I`d have the normal mermaid, more to play with (as in tennis and volleyball that is)
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Male 417
It`s a no brainer ... aim for the tits.
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Male 509
""Top half human, you`d have someone to talk to"

I`d take the fish top for that very reason, Who want`s to here them talk and no need to listen to any bitching... Plus, can`t talk... can`t say NO Muhahahahahaha."

Can still kick you in the balls though...
Personally I`d go for top half
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Male 198
Come on Gerry1of1, do you really like fish sticks that much? ;)
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Female 2,674
Top half human, besides that I`m not a guy so I have no use for bottom half human, but the top half being fish creeps me out. D:
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Male 355
A. all the way
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Male 1,299
A.

You can talk to it, and stay sane. Plus it has hands so it can help you build poo. Plus it has NORGS, which are always fun. Plus if i`m on a deserted island, head and handies are just as good as the full-on bedsheet shimmy.
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Male 62
top women lower part fish ofcourse? she can still blow u know
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Male 2,669
Top half. She`s cute.
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Male 210
DrunkStepdad, I must agree there.
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Female 803
top half human. even if i was a lesbian, the bottom would do me no good.
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Male 4,680
A. Even if you`re a sex maniac, choosing B would be pointless since it`d suffocate and die after a few minutes out of water.

...<Necrophilia joke goes here>.
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Female 4,376
first one for me. :-)
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Male 30
A always! It could be a Dolphin-maid. Then you`d have everything. x:

Also, someone to go call some dolphins to do tricks for me. Muahaha. Dance!
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Male 39,893
dayum! why so sexist, IAB?

Where`s the Mer-Man?
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Male 51
Top half. I wouldn`t even want to see what kind of child option B would produce.
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Male 206
The fact that she would smell like fish would force me to pass on both.
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Male 953
"Top half human, you`d have someone to talk to"

I`d take the fish top for that very reason, Who want`s to here them talk and no need to listen to any bitching... Plus, can`t talk... can`t say NO Muhahahahahaha.
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Male 2,592
top half human.
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Male 221
@GeniusSolar

I guess mermaids are `animals`, and animals are naked :)
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Male 313
Definitely A. Didn`t the pose this quandry on Family Guy when Lois met a merman that was human on the bottom-half?
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Female 7
Assuming you can`t get off the island, you`d almost have to pick B to repopulate or something. Or just let your lineage die out, but get awesome blowjobs.
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Female 3,574
Afterall, I would consider a mermaid a mammal, so they probably reproduce like one, no? :P
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Female 3,574
I never get why people say mermaids must have no vaginas. Couldn`t they be like dolphins?
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Male 2,344
hmm both sides could be useful so this is a tough one...

top side for BJ`s, bottom side for...obvious.

thinking i would have to go with the top half human, the other one is just too freaky looking and even I have some standards...however poor they are LOL.
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Male 368
Definitely A top half human! Much nicer to look at and you can still get the umm job done
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Male 226
Human top imo.
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Male 158
Think this should be tagged NSFW?
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Male 4
A. for sure
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Female 2
Smells like fish anyways...
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Male 141
I`d pick the top-half human mermaid every time. Because blowjobs are awesome and anything with a huge fish head is impossible to make love to without excessive, girl-like weeping. Plus the normal mermaid can swim you back to land. Giant fish head + human legs = drowning freak of nature.
Yes I`ve put a lot of thought into this.
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Male 801
Fwap Fwap?
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Female 1,181
i`m gonna take a stab in the dark and say almost all guys would go for the first one. at least that way you`d have boobs and a mouth. with the other one, both ends would stink of fish.
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Male 364
The top half. Meaningful conversation and boobies!
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Female 145
Definitely A.
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Female 13
with the top half you could have dinner and a good time... :P
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Male 5,189
A
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Male 271
top half human.

every freaking time.

mouth, people. the mouth. use the mouth.
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Male 15,510
A of course
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Male 633
not that i`m complaining but i think this deserves a NSFW tag lol. and my vote is for A.
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Male 450
b
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Female 1,427
Top half mermaid could, I dunno, SWIM OUT AND FIND ME A FRICKIN SHIP TO PICK ME UP.
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Male 169
A. No questions.
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Female 282
I`d take the mermaid.
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Male 943
Top half human, you`d have someone to talk to, plus women can be very resourceful with their mouths
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Male 60
Depends. If i`m blind, I take B. If not, I fashion a blade and some glue...
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Male 11
Well, B will probably have to stay in the water. I`d go with A.
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Male 1,958
let`s see... Unlimited boob access (assuming) or unlimited vagoo acess (again, assuming). Hmmmm
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Male 642
probably still A... a fish has a "hole" of some sort down ther e too.. and on a deserted island theres nothing to be ashamed of
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Male 1,193
A duh. Oral
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Male 237
Top-Half Fish. Because she won`t be able to say no.
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Male 2,552
A.
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Male 20,901
Link: The Great Mermaid Debate: Tops Or Bottoms? [Pic] [Rate Link] - Pop quiz, hot shot: Alone on an uninhabited island... what would you do? WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
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