The best in arts & entertainment, news, pop culture, and your mom since 2002.

[Total: 27    Average: 3.4/5]
59 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 28121
Rating: 3.4
Category: Funny
Date: 07/28/10 12:06 PM

59 Responses to Stone Age Carving May Be Ancient Sex Toy

  1. Profile photo of goaliejerry
    goaliejerry Male 30-39
    4017 posts
    July 27, 2010 at 8:43 pm
    Link: Stone Age Carving May Be Ancient Sex Toy - Female scientists weren`t sure until they conducted some controlled ``experiments`` after hours.
  2. Profile photo of hwkiller
    hwkiller Male 18-29
    490 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 12:22 pm
    It`s circumcised. I don`t know anything about the stone age. Was that normal then?
  3. Profile photo of msieg007
    msieg007 Male 18-29
    2035 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 12:23 pm
    It`s 4 inches long and 2 cm wide? And we assume sex toy? I guess people HAVE gotten bigger over time.
  4. Profile photo of badname_001
    badname_001 Female 18-29
    130 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 12:26 pm
    It`s ceremonial, many cultures have used penis carvings in all sorts of whacky ways - but very few for sex.

    Think of it like a magic wand to invoke fertility or bring out a warrior spirit for a battle, ect ect ect.
  5. Profile photo of pui
    pui Female 18-29
    3574 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 12:30 pm
    could have been a good luck charm or something lol.
  6. Profile photo of Aeladil
    Aeladil Female 18-29
    513 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 12:31 pm
    This isn`t all that uncommon. Stone carved dildos have been found for years, but museums label them merely as "artifacts" rather than suggesting that - omg - ancient people had a sexuality beyond "mating."
  7. Profile photo of meepmaker
    meepmaker Male 30-39
    6694 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 12:35 pm
    The men had to go out and hunt for days at a time. whats a woman to do? Adapt and overcum.
  8. Profile photo of kilroy5555
    kilroy5555 Male 30-39
    496 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 12:36 pm
    Awesome! Wonder if it vibrates.
  9. Profile photo of gorgack2000
    gorgack2000 Male 13-17
    4682 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 12:46 pm
    Got to love how dildos came before the wheel, farming, bow and arrows, domesticating wolves, cave paintings and wiping out Neanderthals / all the giant carnivorous animals walking around the planet at the time. Further proof that Freud was right!
  10. Profile photo of GothicQueen
    GothicQueen Male 13-17
    4376 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 12:53 pm
    Hawt.
  11. Profile photo of TheSharpest
    TheSharpest Male 18-29
    1767 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 12:54 pm
    Ooold! (badum-tish! get it?) But seriously, this is not the first stone age dildo I`ve seen in IAB (wow this site suddenly feels weird)
  12. Profile photo of BigDaddyJeff
    BigDaddyJeff Male 40-49
    368 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 1:08 pm
    that is actually the petrified penis of a neanderthal. He had to give it to his cave mate when he went `out with the trogs` and he never got it back...
  13. Profile photo of FromPortugal
    FromPortugal Male 18-29
    304 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 1:09 pm
    its a CANE broken in half...

    shame on you scientists for such dirty thinking...

    ohh the wicked minds...



    lol
  14. Profile photo of Fantom2993
    Fantom2993 Male 18-29
    342 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 1:22 pm
    I love how MSNBC reports it as a "Dildo-like object"
  15. Profile photo of gorgack2000
    gorgack2000 Male 13-17
    4682 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 1:29 pm
    @FromPortugal- An 8 inch cane? I don`t think cavemen were that small.
  16. Profile photo of kitka_1994
    kitka_1994 Male 13-17
    85 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 1:37 pm
    Of cause it is a sex toy archeologist have found tons of prehistoric didoes they were one of the first inventions this isn`t news.
  17. Profile photo of OmgZelda
    OmgZelda Female 18-29
    1593 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 1:46 pm
    Four inches long and 8/10 of an inch thick?

    I seriously doubt it was a dildo. :/
  18. Profile photo of tyrice
    tyrice Female 18-29
    72 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 1:48 pm
    first assumption made in this article is that prehistoric swedes/suomis practiced circumcision.

    that being said there are many MANY examples of prehistoric dildos and various other phallic, sexually motivated artifacts. a good book on the subject is The Prehistory of Sex which takes an anthropological approach to sexual culture and evolution...
  19. Profile photo of heavenly15
    heavenly15 Female 13-17
    965 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 1:57 pm
    Ah, I remember reading a story just like this from a while back.
  20. Profile photo of GurnBlanston
    GurnBlanston Male 40-49
    247 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 2:00 pm
    OmgZelda - Coochies were tighter back then :-)
  21. Profile photo of FromPortugal
    FromPortugal Male 18-29
    304 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 2:07 pm
    @gorgack2000 its a midget cane...
  22. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 2:12 pm
    Wow, you never know these days!
  23. Profile photo of xhaseox
    xhaseox Male 18-29
    519 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 2:22 pm
    everyone has to get their rocks off some how
  24. Profile photo of KekS
    KekS Male 18-29
    588 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 2:31 pm
    So it`s been in a river for thousands of years? Now wonder it`s so small.
  25. Profile photo of jimistik82
    jimistik82 Male 30-39
    75 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 2:32 pm
    if u were smart u made dam sure ur hairy old lady had at least 3 of these " stress relief devices"
  26. Profile photo of dramaeco
    dramaeco Male 18-29
    305 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 2:33 pm
    MAY be ancient sex toy? do they need a brand name stamped on ?
  27. Profile photo of Spider_sol
    Spider_sol Male 18-29
    1452 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 2:42 pm
    I kinda doubt it was a dildo. Why would it be carved to have the head on it?

    I think it was made by some stoneage adolesent as a joke/prank.
  28. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 3:17 pm
    [quote">MAY be ancient sex toy? do they need a brand name stamped on ?[/quote">

    Yes, MAY. It might also have been various other things. Off the top of my head:

    i) A joke. Dick jokes aren`t a recent thing. 28,000 years ago people were people, just like us.

    ii) A religious symbol, maybe made as part of a statue of some kind. There were male fertility gods as well as female fertility gods. The most famous example is Priapus, but you can find many examples in ancient art depicting gods and sometimes powerful men with erect (and usually over-sized) penises.

    There`s a good example here from the museum of Ephesus. This could have been intended to be part of a statue like that, of an earlier fertility god.
  29. Profile photo of HeadiesRusH
    HeadiesRusH Male 18-29
    328 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 3:35 pm
    So, you found an ancient sex toy at an archaeological dig?

    Niceee.
  30. Profile photo of joosen52
    joosen52 Male 18-29
    206 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 3:54 pm
    Or... maybe it`s king Tut`s missing junk
  31. Profile photo of Treadlong
    Treadlong Male 18-29
    29 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 4:36 pm
    Boner, heh heh.
  32. Profile photo of Fantom2993
    Fantom2993 Male 18-29
    342 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 4:37 pm
    Does anyone else get as annoyed as I do when everyone is posting jokes and quips and a know-it-all has to show us all how smart they are? We get it, you have the internet. We don`t want ancient history class, we want to read funny comments and be entertained.
  33. Profile photo of teampink27
    teampink27 Female 18-29
    533 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 5:23 pm
    a sex toy made out of bone? that must have been comfortable...
  34. Profile photo of MEZA
    MEZA Male 18-29
    333 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 5:34 pm
    @angillion, gee you sure do know your way around ancient dongs
  35. Profile photo of last_ninja
    last_ninja Male 18-29
    610 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 5:47 pm
    sex toys are nothing new. they`ve had these for a REALLY long time. here is more info
  36. Profile photo of lunaticlover
    lunaticlover Female 18-29
    354 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 5:50 pm
    @angillion - The gods you`re thinking of are Greek and Roman. Any religious influence from Sweden would be Norse. Also, the Stone Age didn`t have very advanced religious ideas. If they said the object dated back from maybe 1000 BC I would have agreed with you, but the Stone Age is a long way off from that.

    It could be anything, really. In fact, the shape could be a result of weathering (they did say it was in a river for a long time, which means it would have been worn away by the constant flow of water) and could have been just an average tool in it`s prime.

    Although, didn`t scientists, discover an ancient statue-type thing that they thought was a sex-toy? It was like a woman`s body with over-sized breasts. I think that was featured on IAB too actually.
  37. Profile photo of bloodwrage
    bloodwrage Male 18-29
    152 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 6:25 pm
    "Your mind and my mind wanders away to make this interpretation about what it looks like — for you and me, it signals this erected-penis-like shape"

    Just say it looks like a dick, man.
  38. Profile photo of Gerry1of1
    Gerry1of1 Male 50-59
    36695 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 6:35 pm
    There are a lot of things it could be. For example ... um ... A paper weight, no- no paper. Um ... ... it could be a ... no...

    Okay, it`s a dildo.
  39. Profile photo of DrunkStepdad
    DrunkStepdad Male 40-49
    206 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 6:43 pm
    Looks like it could have been someones tool.
  40. Profile photo of Stelly
    Stelly Male 30-39
    317 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 8:27 pm
    I saw a show on one of the learning type channels on the history of sex. Some freaky ass poo went on back then!!! Especially the Egyptians! There is a hieroglyph of a chick squatting on a pyramid shaped dildo...
  41. Profile photo of IsmelBacn420
    IsmelBacn420 Female 18-29
    98 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 8:49 pm
    drunk step dad,that was funny. but i just wanna say that ppl musta been smaller cause that poos dinky. wouldn`t be very useful. 2 cm? really? four inches might not be horrible, though you`d have to be careful not to lose it hahaha... but 2 cm?
  42. Profile photo of NotTHATbored
    NotTHATbored Female 18-29
    1101 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 9:52 pm
    Well considering that they had no tv, facebook, cars, and many died young ...I think it`s logical they turned to dildos!
  43. Profile photo of NotTHATbored
    NotTHATbored Female 18-29
    1101 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 9:53 pm
    Oh yeah and there was no IAB, so really what is left to do but masterbate?
  44. Profile photo of goaliejerry
    goaliejerry Male 30-39
    4017 posts
    July 28, 2010 at 10:55 pm
    "Why would it be carved to have the head on it?"

    To catch on the sphincter, DUH!

    And people noting that the ancients didn`t circumcise - yes, but you could still pull the hood back, exposing the head, and it would look like an uncircumcised one. Its not that remarkable to think a penis could be portrayed by ancient people with the head exposed. It was like magic! The center of power and pleasure, just like today.

    Frankly, back then, I bet 20% of their time was spent playing with their penises, showing the helmet to the ladies - before you raped them - not much to do for recreation. Those were simpler times, albeit brutal, cruel, harsh, and short lived.

    Oh, and I`m sure they played with their buttholes too.
  45. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    July 29, 2010 at 12:42 am
    given the period, the probability of it being a tool for a religious ceremony is much higher than 0.
    "I now pronounce you `Open for Business...`"


    "...though you`d have to be careful not to lose it hahaha..."
    Why do you assume that it`s for someone that is an adult by modern age standards?
    "Deasia, you`re middle-aged now. You have a responsibility to help produce farm hands and 11 is a long time to wait before..."
  46. Profile photo of jayme21
    jayme21 Male 18-29
    585 posts
    July 29, 2010 at 4:21 am
    There are loads of "fertility symbols" this experts and archaeologists can never just say its a sex toy.

    Like in Pompie there was a brothel which had pictures of different services the women provided. But all the experts had no idea what it was until a janitor one day said i know what that is thats a price list. They just dont want to accept humans were more carnal or they themselves know of such things...

    pompie sex list
  47. Profile photo of Painter13
    Painter13 Male 40-49
    1366 posts
    July 29, 2010 at 5:07 am
    The`re sure it`s an ancient sex toy because Madonnas` DNA was found on it. Jeez people read the article.
  48. Profile photo of IamBored29
    IamBored29 Male 18-29
    648 posts
    July 29, 2010 at 8:10 am
    Masterbating...the worlds oldest time killer.
  49. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    July 29, 2010 at 8:50 am
    @jayme

    Nearly the entire city of Pompei was brothels. Archeologists have not put 2 and 2 together yet but, the Romans and Greeks were into theme towns and themed societies. In those themed area are repeating images of a deity related to the theme.

    Pompei is covered is images of a red-skinned, horned goat-man with a enormous wang banging a lamb-girl.
    It was a place you came to worship sex/power. They even had a yearly festival that`s kinda like Mardi Gras and October Fest combined.
    "...so come on over to Pompei for the `all-you-screw` April-Fest!!!"
  50. Profile photo of Magicant
    Magicant Female 18-29
    277 posts
    July 29, 2010 at 9:09 am
    What`s worse is all the comments at the bottom of the article trying to be funny
  51. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    July 29, 2010 at 5:32 pm
    @angillion - The gods you`re thinking of are Greek and Roman. Any religious influence from Sweden would be Norse.

    28,000 years ago was Norse...are you sure about that?

    As I already said, I was showing *examples* of male fertility gods. Many people are unaware that there ever was such a thing, think fertility gods are female.

    So, I`ll say again as I said before:

    This could have been intended to be part of a statue like that, of an earlier fertility god.

    Also, the Stone Age didn`t have very advanced religious ideas.

    How can you be sure of that? Also, does a fertility god necessarily require advanced religious ideas?

    (they did say it was in a river for a long time, which means it would have been worn away by the constant flow of water)

    it`s been lying in the bottom sediments and clay layers of the river, and it`s been well preserved there.
  52. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    July 29, 2010 at 5:33 pm
    Cut off as usual...I quoted that part of the article to show that it was *not* in the water, so it won`t have been worn away by the constant flow of water.
  53. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    July 29, 2010 at 5:35 pm
    Does anyone else get as annoyed as I do when everyone is posting jokes and quips and a know-it-all has to show us all how smart they are? We get it, you have the internet. We don`t want ancient history class, we want to read funny comments and be entertained.

    You won`t understand this, but you might be able to find someone to explain it to you:

    Some people know some things without having to look them up. No, really. It`s related to them reading more than just funny comments.

    Have such a nice day!
  54. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    July 29, 2010 at 5:47 pm
    I`d love to see you provide evidence to support your statements about Pompeii, CodeJockey.


    It`s true that Pompeii was noted as a hedonistic place. It was criticised by Roman moralists who lamented the decadence of the republic/empire in their days and advocated a return to the morality of earlier times in Rome. Which, of course, made Pompeii all the more popular.

    Are you counting every building with sexually explicit pictures as a brothel, even if it`s clearly a private home? Frankly, I doubt if your statement would be true even then.
  55. Profile photo of RepostPolice
    RepostPolice Male 13-17
    189 posts
    July 29, 2010 at 7:58 pm
    Leave it to IAB to argue about a seven thousand year old dildo.
  56. Profile photo of LuvsIt
    LuvsIt Female 18-29
    19 posts
    July 29, 2010 at 8:01 pm
    @Angilion ...wtf are you talking about? You get all of that outta a simple article about a dildo from the stone age? Get a life and save your bullpoo theology for a website where it`s actually appropriate, not on IAB.
  57. Profile photo of BunnyNaku
    BunnyNaku Female 18-29
    5224 posts
    July 30, 2010 at 9:00 am
    teehee.. its a boner
  58. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    July 31, 2010 at 4:04 pm
    @Angilion ...wtf are you talking about? You get all of that outta a simple article about a dildo from the stone age? Get a life and save your bullpoo theology for a website where it`s actually appropriate, not on IAB.

    I "get all that outta" knowledge I have. I realise you are offended by anyone knowing anything, but that`s your problem, not mine. I`m not going to dumb down to your level.
  59. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    August 1, 2010 at 1:23 pm
    HOLY-SHI#!
    I think it`s an anti-rape device!

    Ang, Pompei being a brothel theme town is not just my opinion alone, an hour long program was just on the History Channel with several archeologists saying the same thing but, here`s a link, check out the 17th slide (marked "16.")

    Was it common for urban areas of the day to have so many in such high concentration?

Leave a Reply