Stone Age Carving May Be Ancient Sex Toy

Submitted by: goaliejerry 6 years ago in Funny
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38343340/ns/technology_and_science-science/

Female scientists weren"t sure until they conducted some controlled ""experiments"" after hours.
There are 59 comments:
Male 5,617
HOLY-SHI#!
I think it`s an anti-rape device!

Ang, Pompei being a brothel theme town is not just my opinion alone, an hour long program was just on the History Channel with several archeologists saying the same thing but, here`s a link, check out the 17th slide (marked "16.")

Was it common for urban areas of the day to have so many in such high concentration?
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Male 12,365
[quote]@Angilion ...wtf are you talking about? You get all of that outta a simple article about a dildo from the stone age? Get a life and save your bullpoo theology for a website where it`s actually appropriate, not on IAB.[/quote]

I "get all that outta" knowledge I have. I realise you are offended by anyone knowing anything, but that`s your problem, not mine. I`m not going to dumb down to your level.
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Female 5,222
teehee.. its a boner
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Female 19
@Angilion ...wtf are you talking about? You get all of that outta a simple article about a dildo from the stone age? Get a life and save your bullpoo theology for a website where it`s actually appropriate, not on IAB.
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Male 189
Leave it to IAB to argue about a seven thousand year old dildo.
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Male 12,365
I`d love to see you provide evidence to support your statements about Pompeii, CodeJockey.


It`s true that Pompeii was noted as a hedonistic place. It was criticised by Roman moralists who lamented the decadence of the republic/empire in their days and advocated a return to the morality of earlier times in Rome. Which, of course, made Pompeii all the more popular.

Are you counting every building with sexually explicit pictures as a brothel, even if it`s clearly a private home? Frankly, I doubt if your statement would be true even then.
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Male 12,365
[quote]Does anyone else get as annoyed as I do when everyone is posting jokes and quips and a know-it-all has to show us all how smart they are? We get it, you have the internet. We don`t want ancient history class, we want to read funny comments and be entertained. [/quote]

You won`t understand this, but you might be able to find someone to explain it to you:

Some people know some things without having to look them up. No, really. It`s related to them reading more than just funny comments.

Have such a nice day!
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Male 12,365
Cut off as usual...I quoted that part of the article to show that it was *not* in the water, so it won`t have been worn away by the constant flow of water.
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Male 12,365
[quote]@angillion - The gods you`re thinking of are Greek and Roman. Any religious influence from Sweden would be Norse.[/quote]

28,000 years ago was Norse...are you sure about that?

As I already said, I was showing *examples* of male fertility gods. Many people are unaware that there ever was such a thing, think fertility gods are female.

So, I`ll say again as I said before:

[quote]This could have been intended to be part of a statue like that, of an earlier fertility god.[/quote]

[quote]Also, the Stone Age didn`t have very advanced religious ideas.[/quote]

How can you be sure of that? Also, does a fertility god necessarily require advanced religious ideas?

[quote](they did say it was in a river for a long time, which means it would have been worn away by the constant flow of water)[/quote]

[quote]it`s been lying in the bottom sediments and clay layers of the river, and it`s been well preserved there.[/quote]
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Female 277
What`s worse is all the comments at the bottom of the article trying to be funny
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Male 5,617
@jayme

Nearly the entire city of Pompei was brothels. Archeologists have not put 2 and 2 together yet but, the Romans and Greeks were into theme towns and themed societies. In those themed area are repeating images of a deity related to the theme.

Pompei is covered is images of a red-skinned, horned goat-man with a enormous wang banging a lamb-girl.
It was a place you came to worship sex/power. They even had a yearly festival that`s kinda like Mardi Gras and October Fest combined.
"...so come on over to Pompei for the `all-you-screw` April-Fest!!!"
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Male 648
Masterbating...the worlds oldest time killer.
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Male 1,365
The`re sure it`s an ancient sex toy because Madonnas` DNA was found on it. Jeez people read the article.
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Male 623
There are loads of "fertility symbols" this experts and archaeologists can never just say its a sex toy.

Like in Pompie there was a brothel which had pictures of different services the women provided. But all the experts had no idea what it was until a janitor one day said i know what that is thats a price list. They just dont want to accept humans were more carnal or they themselves know of such things...

pompie sex list
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Male 5,617
given the period, the probability of it being a tool for a religious ceremony is much higher than 0.
"I now pronounce you `Open for Business...`"


"...though you`d have to be careful not to lose it hahaha..."
Why do you assume that it`s for someone that is an adult by modern age standards?
"Deasia, you`re middle-aged now. You have a responsibility to help produce farm hands and 11 is a long time to wait before..."
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Male 4,014
"Why would it be carved to have the head on it?"

To catch on the sphincter, DUH!

And people noting that the ancients didn`t circumcise - yes, but you could still pull the hood back, exposing the head, and it would look like an uncircumcised one. Its not that remarkable to think a penis could be portrayed by ancient people with the head exposed. It was like magic! The center of power and pleasure, just like today.

Frankly, back then, I bet 20% of their time was spent playing with their penises, showing the helmet to the ladies - before you raped them - not much to do for recreation. Those were simpler times, albeit brutal, cruel, harsh, and short lived.

Oh, and I`m sure they played with their buttholes too.
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Female 1,101
Oh yeah and there was no IAB, so really what is left to do but masterbate?
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Female 1,101
Well considering that they had no tv, facebook, cars, and many died young ...I think it`s logical they turned to dildos!
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Female 98
drunk step dad,that was funny. but i just wanna say that ppl musta been smaller cause that poos dinky. wouldn`t be very useful. 2 cm? really? four inches might not be horrible, though you`d have to be careful not to lose it hahaha... but 2 cm?
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Male 317
I saw a show on one of the learning type channels on the history of sex. Some freaky ass poo went on back then!!! Especially the Egyptians! There is a hieroglyph of a chick squatting on a pyramid shaped dildo...
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Male 206
Looks like it could have been someones tool.
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Male 38,507
There are a lot of things it could be. For example ... um ... A paper weight, no- no paper. Um ... ... it could be a ... no...

Okay, it`s a dildo.
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Male 152
"Your mind and my mind wanders away to make this interpretation about what it looks like — for you and me, it signals this erected-penis-like shape"

Just say it looks like a dick, man.
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Female 354
@angillion - The gods you`re thinking of are Greek and Roman. Any religious influence from Sweden would be Norse. Also, the Stone Age didn`t have very advanced religious ideas. If they said the object dated back from maybe 1000 BC I would have agreed with you, but the Stone Age is a long way off from that.

It could be anything, really. In fact, the shape could be a result of weathering (they did say it was in a river for a long time, which means it would have been worn away by the constant flow of water) and could have been just an average tool in it`s prime.

Although, didn`t scientists, discover an ancient statue-type thing that they thought was a sex-toy? It was like a woman`s body with over-sized breasts. I think that was featured on IAB too actually.
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Male 610
sex toys are nothing new. they`ve had these for a REALLY long time. here is more info
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Male 333
@angillion, gee you sure do know your way around ancient dongs
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Female 533
a sex toy made out of bone? that must have been comfortable...
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Male 342
Does anyone else get as annoyed as I do when everyone is posting jokes and quips and a know-it-all has to show us all how smart they are? We get it, you have the internet. We don`t want ancient history class, we want to read funny comments and be entertained.
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Male 29
Boner, heh heh.
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Male 206
Or... maybe it`s king Tut`s missing junk
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Male 328
So, you found an ancient sex toy at an archaeological dig?

Niceee.
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Male 12,365
[quote">MAY be ancient sex toy? do they need a brand name stamped on ?[/quote">

Yes, MAY. It might also have been various other things. Off the top of my head:

i) A joke. Dick jokes aren`t a recent thing. 28,000 years ago people were people, just like us.

ii) A religious symbol, maybe made as part of a statue of some kind. There were male fertility gods as well as female fertility gods. The most famous example is Priapus, but you can find many examples in ancient art depicting gods and sometimes powerful men with erect (and usually over-sized) penises.

There`s a good example here from the museum of Ephesus. This could have been intended to be part of a statue like that, of an earlier fertility god.
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Male 1,451
I kinda doubt it was a dildo. Why would it be carved to have the head on it?

I think it was made by some stoneage adolesent as a joke/prank.
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Male 305
MAY be ancient sex toy? do they need a brand name stamped on ?
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Male 75
if u were smart u made dam sure ur hairy old lady had at least 3 of these " stress relief devices"
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Male 588
So it`s been in a river for thousands of years? Now wonder it`s so small.
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Male 519
everyone has to get their rocks off some how
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Male 25,416
Wow, you never know these days!
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Male 304
@gorgack2000 its a midget cane...
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Male 247
OmgZelda - Coochies were tighter back then :-)
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Female 965
Ah, I remember reading a story just like this from a while back.
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Female 72
first assumption made in this article is that prehistoric swedes/suomis practiced circumcision.

that being said there are many MANY examples of prehistoric dildos and various other phallic, sexually motivated artifacts. a good book on the subject is The Prehistory of Sex which takes an anthropological approach to sexual culture and evolution...
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Female 1,593
Four inches long and 8/10 of an inch thick?

I seriously doubt it was a dildo. :/
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Male 85
Of cause it is a sex toy archeologist have found tons of prehistoric didoes they were one of the first inventions this isn`t news.
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Male 4,680
@FromPortugal- An 8 inch cane? I don`t think cavemen were that small.
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Male 342
I love how MSNBC reports it as a "Dildo-like object"
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Male 304
its a CANE broken in half...

shame on you scientists for such dirty thinking...

ohh the wicked minds...



lol
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Male 368
that is actually the petrified penis of a neanderthal. He had to give it to his cave mate when he went `out with the trogs` and he never got it back...
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Male 1,765
Ooold! (badum-tish! get it?) But seriously, this is not the first stone age dildo I`ve seen in IAB (wow this site suddenly feels weird)
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Female 4,376
Hawt.
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Male 4,680
Got to love how dildos came before the wheel, farming, bow and arrows, domesticating wolves, cave paintings and wiping out Neanderthals / all the giant carnivorous animals walking around the planet at the time. Further proof that Freud was right!
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Male 496
Awesome! Wonder if it vibrates.
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Male 6,694
The men had to go out and hunt for days at a time. whats a woman to do? Adapt and overcum.
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Female 513
This isn`t all that uncommon. Stone carved dildos have been found for years, but museums label them merely as "artifacts" rather than suggesting that - omg - ancient people had a sexuality beyond "mating."
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Female 3,574
could have been a good luck charm or something lol.
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Female 130
It`s ceremonial, many cultures have used penis carvings in all sorts of whacky ways - but very few for sex.

Think of it like a magic wand to invoke fertility or bring out a warrior spirit for a battle, ect ect ect.
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Male 2,034
It`s 4 inches long and 2 cm wide? And we assume sex toy? I guess people HAVE gotten bigger over time.
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Male 490
It`s circumcised. I don`t know anything about the stone age. Was that normal then?
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Male 4,014
Link: Stone Age Carving May Be Ancient Sex Toy [Rate Link] - Female scientists weren`t sure until they conducted some controlled ``experiments`` after hours.
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