John Cleese: Soccer Vs Football

Submitted by: Gerry1of1 7 years ago in Funny

Cleese schools us dummies on the not-so-subtle differences between football and football.
There are 102 comments:
Male 1
football is called football with foot being a measurement rather than your literal foot u non-nice individual which totally makes sense and makes u sound like an jackass
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Male 2,868
"the fact that he uses creativity as the basis for his argument just makes him look retarded...he has obviously never seen or heard of a "playbook""

Um...this isn`t debate class. John Cleese is a comedian. And American Football is the most boring fcuking sport in existence. Besides Cricket.
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Male 222
"Personally I think both Soccer and American football are both gay as hell and would far rather watch Rugby Union. More strategy and more action by far."

Oh HELL YEAH !!! :D
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Male 617
the fact that he uses creativity as the basis for his argument just makes him look retarded...he has obviously never seen or heard of a "playbook"
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Male 965
I`m an American, and I support this message.
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Male 500
Ok, now I am bored. They are both football.

American football, Association football (soccer), Rugby union football, Rugby league football, Aussie rules football, Gaelic football, they are all variants of football.

Personally I think both Soccer and American football are both gay as hell and would far rather watch Rugby Union. More strategy and more action by far.
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Male 71
Ha ha . John Cleese FTW
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Male 199
+3
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Male 496
Well SOMEBODY has his panties in a wad.
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Male 2,893
Football, American Football, soccer
whatever, they all suck ass.
Least funny thing i`ve ever seen John Cleese do.
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Male 985
He raises some good points :P
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Male 649
OI don`t give a damn about what John Cleese says or what the rest of the world says! I still love American football, and I love my New Orleans Saints!! I don" under stand soccer or "football" as they call it and I don`t really care to! It just doesn`t appeal to me. And the whole argument of what we call football and what the rest of the world calls football is just semantics and a pointless argument at that! Which I am sure John Cleese is use to being in pointless arguments lol..........I loved that sketch by the way, it`s one of my favorite from Monty Python
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Male 8
AFL > ALL
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Male 3,915
well....i enjoyed cleese`s humor until now....he could`ve done this in a much less....ranting...form....but whatevs....
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Male 12,365
Is it time to stir things up some more by mentioning how Australian Rules Football is tougher and just plain better than every other kind?
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Male 12,138
Also, to any fellow Europeans who says that American Football is gay because they wear pads, try playing it sometime. It`s f*cking hardcore. Once upon a time I played Right Outside Linebacker for the Carrickfergus Knights, a small-time Irish team. And I got maimed almost every week, and I was the guy DOING the hitting!
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Male 12,138
Having said all that, I`m an Americophile (if that`s not a word, then I just made it up there now). Best sports experience I ever had was watching a high-school football game in Oklahoma years back. The bands, the cheerleaders, the patriotism, the beers and hot-dogs, the star players that stood out. The whole thing was a wonderful piece of cultural Americana, I loved every second of it, sincerely.

I, for one, enjoy the World Cup as much as I enjoy the NFL. Both sports have their merits, it shouldn`t be a "one is better than the other" thing, they`re just different.
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Male 2,402
Won`t argue on the commercial pov. It`s freaking ridiculous. However don`t think they wouldn`t find a way to cut into a soccer match every 3 minutes.
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Male 249
@CrakRjack

Football (American) is boring as hell, The teams just take it in turns to score, They have video replay to keep the referees from adding controversy which is always fun, And is full of players willing to take steroids.

Football (English) is exciting because either team has the potential to score on every play, There is a lot of strategy involved, And there is room for individual excellence.

yeaaaaaah
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Male 12,138
vv Agree with you on the detractions of Soccer Crakr, not so much on the superiority of Gridiron... the exact same pro`s could be said of football (though I`ll give you that American Football IS more strategic than Soccer, which is the main reason I enjoy it immensely).

Three things for me detract from enjoying American Football to its fullest:
1) There`s about 11 minutes of actual action in a game that takes about 3 hours to play out. Granted, that action is very explosive, but 11 minutes is kinda woeful.
2) The season is so short, its gay. September till Jan-Feb? At least they play soccer year-round, I get bored with watching repeats of old superbowls.
3) There`s a lot of pussying around in American Football too... like when one team gets ahead then gayly running the clock on offense, all the while the other time has to go to the air to make up the difference, and it`s so easy to shut them down with cover plays on defence.
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Male 17,512
Soccer is boring as hell, The scores are usually rather low, There is no video replay to keep the referees from making bad calls, And is full of players willing to fake injuries.

Football (American) is exciting because either team has the potential to score on every play, There is a lot of strategy involved, And there is room for individual excellence.
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Male 362
its awesome to be criticized by somebody who thinks walking in abnormal fashion should be considered comedy.
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Male 472
He obviously doesn`t understand football at all.
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Female 1,515
Oh! Not that there`s anything wrong with that! Cause I can get into watching both sports! Until a soccer player dives then it ruins it for me. Sigh.

Oh and <3 John Cleese
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Female 1,515
@Angillion I agree with you on that, but I don`t think it makes football any less creative. Football is just a more strategic sport. You can still watch amazingly creative plays. (Sorry I keep saying football for American football and soccer for european football because it`s annoying to type american football everytime >.>)

If I see football as a military battlefront (in terms of offensive vs. defensive strategy) then soccer would be more like...a brawl.
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Male 4,807
@ slab-of-rage... I agree.. a farce it is, my dear sir, a farce it is.
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Male 14
I just got the urge to kill. Soccer is creative because the players are also actors... I can see that.
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Male 1,222
That guy is a genius, i love and always have loved his work
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Male 569
what a bitter sounding man.
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Male 12,365
[quote]Err...how is soccer so much more "smart/creative" compared to football? Seriously I don`t understand. The two styles of play-making are completely different. Or is it because soccer players use fancy ball-kicking skills, that`s somehow more creative??[/quote]

No, it`s because American football is more planned than football. In football, players improvise a lot more. There are set plays used in some circumstances (e.g. a corner), but not in general play.
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Male 3,819
This whole pile on the stupidity of American football thing is getting old.

You know how stupid we sound to you Brits for liking this sport? That`s how stupid you sound trying to debase it.

It used to be almost all about the field goals. AKA kicking a ball through a goal. AKA football.

The offensive coordinator suggests plays. The quarterback is left to decide whether or not to actually run it. This is based on what the defense is showing -- who`s possibly blitzing, who`s going to sit in a zone (and which zone), who`s playing man. Once he gets that figured out, he`ll either stick with the play or comb over the 900 pages of playbook he memorized to pick another one that would be more effective against this defense. He may also tweak specific routes and assign people to block for him instead of going out.

He has to do all of this in 40 seconds.

Obviously, this takes no brain power whatsoever.
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Female 1,515
Err...how is soccer so much more "smart/creative" compared to football? Seriously I don`t understand. The two styles of play-making are completely different. Or is it because soccer players use fancy ball-kicking skills, that`s somehow more creative??
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Male 1,220
I don`t insist on it, that`s just what everybody calls it.
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Male 90
HAHA told you sons a biatches ;)
Kaplow!
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Male 65
he`s mad because we beat england in a tie 1-1
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Male 1,312
@slab-of-rage, please stop rage spamming the comments, it`s really annoying and no one genuinely cares what you think. Just remember, arguing on the internet is like being in the special olympics. Even if you win, you`re still retarded. Have a nice day!
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Female 1,427
But I love watching Monday Night Handegg games.
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Male 769
@A1BUTCHER. Until those fine green-skinned betentacled alien chicks from Glakkso-6Six are allowed to compete, Miss `Universe` is a farce.
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Female 536
I will gladly take my friends idea and call it handegg
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Male 769
oh django. Jazz is incredibly creative. It is spontaneous, evolutionary and when it is good you`ll never hear the same song played the same way twice.
Sure, if you don`t understand it, it just seems like so much noise. American Football is more like a high school marching band playing `Louie Louie` whilst occaisionally stopping for radio ad breaks. All the musicians just play set roles, with no interpretation, individuality or excitement.
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Male 769
sorry bophus, but you`re on a wrong`un there. Rugby is not called football. Sometimes it is called `rugby football` and some teams have `RFC` after them (rugby football club) but your arguement fails flat.

You should try and look into Rugby, not just because it would stop you from making ill-informed comments, but because it is a very enjoyable game. If you want me to get REALLY picky about the `football` part of rugby football, I could tell you that more of the game of rugby is played using the feet than American football. Sure, you kick off, convert and punt - but that`s pretty much it. In rugby, kicking is a very tactical part of the game and a good kicker is an integral part of modern rugby, not just in penalty situations but as defence measures and attacking tactics. I have even seen tries scored from a player DRIBBLING a rugby ball over the line doing keep-ups.

If I REALLY wanted to boil your noodle, I`d try and explain the differences between Rugby UNION and R
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Female 264
We don`t call it football because we took the second part of the original British title of "Rugby Football" as the name for our football, seeing how it is not actually rugby.
And to John Cleese: Ever hear of Basketball? Cause that`s pretty much strategy. And also, America (in general) just doesn`t like soccer. It`s rather alot like Tennis, it goes back and forth constantly between teams and few people here watch it. Only difference: there are MORE SCORES IN TENNIS. Believe it or not, we watch entertainment to be entertained, and if that means there needs to be more going on, that`s probably because we actually aren`t talking to eachother in the stands about the weather and "how`s the misses." We actually care about sports, here. GEAT OHVA ET!!
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Male 12,365
[quote]Pretty much sums up everything I think of American `football`. Seriously why is it called football?:S And what does soccer actually mean? Like where did that word physically come from?[/quote]

The modern (i.e last couple of centuries) game of football is played with the rules drawn up by the Football Association. Football played according to those rules became known as Association football. Which is obviously abbreviated to assball, but sadly people didn`t go with that and instead abbreviated it to `soc`. The second syllable was stuck on just because one syllable wasn`t enough.

A variation of football developed in which picking up the ball was allowed. That was associated with Rugby, a famous English school, and became called Rugby football, shortened to Rugby, and forked off from football, becoming increasingly different.

American football is a fork from rugby. It would be more consistent to call it yale or maybe yaleball.

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Male 12,365
[quote]Rugby is also called football, so i guess John Cleese`s argument would be the same for your sport.
[/quote]

Rugby is never called football.

It is sometimes called rugby football, but never just football.

Your counter-argument would only apply if American football was only ever called American football or American, but never just football. Which is not the case.
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Male 25,417
that was meh!
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Male 697
@aibutcher, you asked why its called the world cup when its not a cup, and i explained why. now you have to call it football.
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Male 6
Association football, gridiron football, rugby football... they`re all forms of football. Gridiron (American) football was popular in the US before association football so we called that soccer. A term we borrowed from... wait for it... the British.
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Male 159
@Micktrex: I understand it was originally derived from the "soc" part of "association football"
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Male 184
@Django the difference is that besides porn and violence we like nice smart sports too.

The stupid thing is that you Americans like it too and somehow you can`t admit it. Your team did incredibly well and most of you watched them and supported them. The most stupid thing to do now will be to turn your back at them because of one lost game. Mainly because they played well, with heart and like a men (unlike some particular otherwise great south american nations). Also they constantly improve. Maybe they lack some of the technique and experience of the best teams but hell, that`s things that one can learn. The important thing is that they have the attitude and will to win.
I really enjoyed the game of USA team and hoped for their success, so don`t be stupid, do like me.
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Male 24
Why does nobody seem to realize that John Cleese is a COMEDIAN and this video is made to be seen as COMEDY and not taken seriously?
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Female 2,027
well said
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Male 141
Pretty much sums up everything I think of American `football`. Seriously why is it called football?:S And what does soccer actually mean? Like where did that word physically come from?
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Male 232
Isn`t it a bit contradictory to call Americans uncreative and then compare football (soccer) to Jazz?
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Male 12,138
[quote]looks like either a statue with the world on it back or a very expensive butt plug.
I`ll just go with the latter.[/quote]
LOL, awesome!
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Female 136
Funny cause he`s totally right.
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Male 4,807
@MikeyNiv... My statement fits nicely with the theme of this post.
Its a dang TROPHY, not a cup!!
Don`t take it to personally, mate!


@slab-of-rage... Yea, I could never understand "The world series" or even "miss Universe" for that matter.
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Male 232
Yes, we love violent, quick, and flashy sports. We love to watch a good fight and we love our loud and brazen news/sports commentators. We love tits and ass everywhere in our beer commercials and we love our porn, but that doesn`t make us unimaginative imbeciles. Do you know who else likes violence, flashy commercials, and porn? Every man on the planet...except John Cleese apparently.
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Male 497
slab-of-rage:

Rugby is also called football, so i guess John Cleese`s argument would be the same for your sport.

How do you feel about that?
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Male 697
a1butcher your attempt at cleverness just failed. Originally in the world cup the prize was a cup (jules rimet trophy), but now its a different trophy as Brazil get to keep it for winning 3 times. So unless youre saying they should change the name because its no longer a cup... well youre silly then arent you.
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Male 2,034
"It`s Handegg now, not Football. It is not perfect but it makes more sense than Football."

From IAB user tvremote in another link:

"Yeah let`s change rugby to handegg while we`re at it. And baseball should be ballbat. And cricket should also be ballbat. Baskettball is now handball. And handball is also handball. Tennis is now rackettball. Golf is now ballclub. Thank God we have Europeans to correct our silly American mistakes."

Thank you, tvremote.
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Male 769
I`ve played rugby for years, so football and american football do not excite me. I even played AF for a while for the Ipswich Cardinals but it just did not have the fluidity and excitement of rugby.

One thing that I find funny is all the Americans saying soccer is crap and the World Cup is stupid, but you guys fail to see that you have the best FEMALE football team in the world! Women`s soccerfootball is not all that, but your women are better than your men on the pitches, bitches.
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Male 769
a1butcher - the ORIGINAL trophy WAS a cup, which is where the name came from. However it was stolen and probably sold off to those `cash4gold` scoundrels. Still, World Cup/World Trophy still makes a LOT more sense than the World SERIES... (I know America likes to think it is the world, but NO) Don`t try and justify it by saying you once had a Mexican team and a Canadian team play in the World Series - they`re basically suburbs of the USA anyway.
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Male 914
well played sir
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Male 1,378
Was that supposed to inform me or something?
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Male 769
Jamie76 when the plays are broken down they are NOT complex at all. It`s basically Pavlovian - the QB shouts the play, the player knows what he has to do and where to go at that time. It is all just learned behaviour rigourously drilled into the player`s heads. There is very little margin for inspirational play and split-second decisiveness. Wait until the World Cup is over and look at the highlights, it will probably have loads of action from the Brazilians who are famous for their brilliant inspired style.

Anyway, American Football and Football are both NOTHING compared to Rugby. You are just a sad old idiot who thinks being trained like a dog is the zenith of sporting achievement.
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Male 6,737
If Cleese says it, it`s true.
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Male 1,623
It`s Handegg now, not Football. It is not perfect but it makes more sense than Football.
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Female 2,927
he does have a point
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Male 6,694
Well when I was a kid Tues. and Thurs. was soccer and Fri. or Sat was football.
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Male 4,807
auburnjunky>> "That`s a cup, with the world in it."

LOL, looks like either a statue with the world on it back or a very expensive butt plug.
I`ll just go with the latter.
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Male 25
funny and true:)))
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Male 591
Cleese`s line "...the Dick Cheney version of creativity..." really did make me laugh out loud. Thank you, Mr. Cleese!
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Male 10,338
@a1butcher:

That`s a cup, with the world in it.
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Male 4,807
At Soccer vs Football.... A new Flame war topic has been created since the world cup.

Wait a second.... "The world cup" is not a "CUP" at all! is it!!




So as soon as it becomes what they say it is them I will continue to call the game SOCCER.
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Male 2,345
American football is called such because the ball used to be very large and very heavy and you could not throw it. you had to kick the damn ball...thus FOOTBALL is the correct name as the ball is still kicked many times during the game.

FIFA sucks ass and this world cup proves it with their asstastical refs...
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Male 2,345
what a load of chit. I played American football since I was little up through D-I College. the plays are extremely complex and take a great deal of mental ability to understand. I promise you, a futbol player would not be able to understand American football. the plays are kept short by the nature of the game, LONG before sponsors the plays were short. A person can only run so far before they are CAUGHT by the DEFENSE...also, if the plays went on too long people would get injured much more quickly.

I played Rugby also while living in Kenya and that game while fun is nowhere near as violent or as hard as American football. i ran over people left and right and to my displeasure was informed that ONLY ONE PERSON ON THE PTICH CAN BE HIT AT A TIME-the person with the ball. what a load...

American football is called FOOTBALL because 100 years ago the ball was so large and heavy the only way to advance it forward w/o running it was to KICK THE DAMN THING.
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Male 39,524
edana42

HA! I think YOU win this thread!
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Male 39,524
@vampyre459 ... yeah, it happens like that to me...all the time. I submit but someone beats me to it so then I get an email telling me what a dumbass I am `cause this has "already been posted"

But this is my first post approved. The others were FAR too racy ... or just un-funny.
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Male 12,138
4 stars before watching, just cause it`s Cleese. And Angilion, I liked your persuasive argument that a more sensible alternate name for the sport would be Assball!

Cleese does have a point though... as much as I love American Football (though why the hell is the season so short?), there is only 11 minutes of actual sporting action in an average game, which lasts something around three hours.
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Male 37
he`s a trolla!
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Male 12,365
Or we could go back to the earliest known form of football, which had no pitch, hardly any rules, as many players as turned up and often contained as much fighting as football. It was declared illegal a number of times, but remained popular anyway.
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Male 12,365
[quote]My understanding of "soccer" is that it was originally an Oxford University term for "asSOCiation football" to distinguish it from another type of football - rugby football (sometimes called "rugger".) Apparently debating what is and isn`t football is nothing new.[/quote]

Making a new form of the sport and just calling it `football` is, though. Variants have been called by different names. Hence the rugby football variant being called `rugby`. So for clarity it would be better if American football had a different name. Yaleball, maybe. A quick look indicates that the rules of the game come mostly from Yale, like the rules of rugby come from Rugby. Or maybe just `Ameriball`, as it`s so strongly associated with the USA.
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Male 141
Okay, enough is enough. American football is a variation of Rugby football. Back in the day when it was a little tricky to get information all the way across the Atlantic, we simply made our own rules and kept the name football. It`s a historical name. PLEASE, British people, leave us alone.
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Male 1,299
I don`t think anyone would buy Halo/Call of Duty/etc if they played for four hours and lost 2 kills to 1...

We like short bursts of intense action rather than prolonged courtship dances. I don`t see how that`s difficult to understand... That`s why nobody watches baseball anymore yet the popularity of Tennis is rising.

And we call it football because it pisses the rest of the world off, we love that kind-of poo. There`s nothing that makes us laugh more than when someone flips out over spelling it "Color" or "Trunk."

America is essentially the punky rascal brother that just does silly stuff to piss people off, and we LOVE IT.
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Male 447
Looks like he didn`t even bother to look up the rules to football when he said only one person on each team is allowed to kick the ball. Actually, anyone at anytime in football can kick the ball, but it never happens because it`s pointless. But if you are running down the field and decide to kick it and it goes through the uprights you get 2 points.
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Male 247
I`m not surprised many Americans would not find this funny.
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Male 84
Football.... its called football and hes saying americans are uncreative. all I have to say is vuvuzelas

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. oh did someone score no zzzzzzzz
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Male 23
he is right,american twats.
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Male 1,929
Ohhhhhhh dear.
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Male 94
LOL @ edana42
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Female 52
heey, I put this in >_>
Oh well, it`s still funny.
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Female 87
you know? i was saying pretty much the exact same thing the other day, when the group C final matches were on, as americans dont seem to understand that football is played with their feet, not their hands
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Male 7,378
Yeah. Looks like John Cleese had his funny bone amputated. Get up old man. Too good for stand-up?
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Male 15,510
AMEN. I hope is clear for you now.
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Male 6
What a moron.

Why didn`t he mention the 90+ minutes of "pansy flopping" you get when watching soccer.
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Male 2,440
I`d rather watch Ross from FRIENDS play rugby than any form of football.
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Male 5,194
Bitch bitch bitch. What happened to that old guy? He used to be funny.
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Female 2,509
"4 seconds of .... action & then the only genuine creative activity invlolved is a beer commercial:

sounds like sex with my husband LOL
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Male 30
My understanding of "soccer" is that it was originally an Oxford University term for "asSOCiation football" to distinguish it from another type of football - rugby football (sometimes called "rugger".) Apparently debating what is and isn`t football is nothing new.
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Male 5,314
of course he would side with soccer
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Male 48
Rugby League trumps all forms of "football" as a spectacle sport.....easily..
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Male 39,524
Link: John Cleese: Soccer Vs Football [Rate Link] - Cleese schools us dummies on the not-so-subtle differences between football and football.
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