How To Give Yourself LASIK Surgery [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago in Funny

You"re only three steps away from a life of clear sightedness.
There are 67 comments:
Female 5,222
>.0
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Male 1,135
Dammit, I blinked... now I have cancer..
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Male 422
Damn..its harder than it says on here :(
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Male 552
txp-
"`assume` makes an ass out of `U` and and `Me`."
Just figured you took things super serious on the internet to have taken what I said so widely out of context.
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Male 333
handys003
Male, 40-49, Western US
 127 Posts Friday, June 18, 2010 1:22:45 AM
Note to some dimwit out there. Please do not try this at home. Cause you know somewhere someone will take this serious.



I wish I would have read that comment thirty minutes earlier...
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Male 343
oh, well i see where i screwed up now.
on another note though, my lazer eye surgery guy was wearing glasses. no joke even.
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Male 69
thad be hella cool tho lol
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Male 2,402
Note to some dimwit out there. Please do not try this at home. Cause you know somewhere someone will take this serious.
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Male 721
Ohhh I get it now. This was really helpful! Well, I`m going to go get my LASIK home kit now!
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Male 5,626
"...Now I cannot use contacts nor have another surgery..."
I don`t know anyone that had the surgery and doesn`t still wear glasses.
Most people that have seem to claim that the new prescription is not as strong but, I don`t think it`s worth it if I still end up buying yet another pair of glasses.
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Male 215
I`m almost glad this is a hoax. No, not almost, completely.
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Male 280
6 years ago they had a health fare for employees of the company I work for. I had Lasik surgery paid on cheap installments deducted from my paycheck for 3 years. 18 months later I was back using glasses. Now I cannot use contacts nor have another surgery. So there you go if it’s too good to be true probably is.
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Male 2,748
wuts the "*" by painless procedure??
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Male 13
it comes with a quickstart guide too. you know in case u couldnt be drated reading ALL the instructions before you attempt a professional medical procedure on yourself...
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Female 160
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Male 285
I watched my dad get lasik. They cut his eye open with a razor blade and reshaped it with a laser. It was sick but now I want it. They had the whole procedure on a monitor so i could watch it in the next room. I dont know about this home lasik kit though.
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Male 10
i love the * after painless procedure
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Female 1,515
That looks super safe!
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Male 215
The sad thing is, it`s real.

http://www.lasikathome.com/
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Male 3,482
It`s the older style, and uses a different laser that instead burns away a thin layer of the eye`s covering, which eventually grows back, in the process of re-shaping the eye.

Also, PRK takes a longer time to fully heal, and tends to be more uncomfortable.

In case you can`t tell, I`ve been studying up on this stuff. Despite knowing the risks and how it`s done, I`m seriously considering it...
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Male 1,596
after they`ve laser sliced your cornea, they remove the sliver from your eyeball.
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Male 3,482
[quote]Umm, you do know lasik involves using lasers to reashape the cornea? No razors or lenses involved. Maybe you`re thinking of a different procedure.[/quote]

Watch the video I posted earlier.

There`s more than one way that surgeons do lasik, and most of them involve cutting away the layer with a razor. There are other, slightly more expensive options that involve the use of a second laser to cut it, but both work the same way. Cut away the layer over the eye, use a special laser to re-shape the cornea, replace the layer.

There`s no way to do it without cutting away the layer, by the way, because then the laser would just burn out your vision completely.

ALSO, there`s another version that`s relatively new that involves the placement of a contact-like lens under the layer that works, wouldn`t you know it, like a contact lens.

Then, there`s PRK, which you`re probably thinking of.

(cont.)
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Male 776
"And I like my glasses."

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK
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Male 25,416
O dear! that could end badly!
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Female 452
Oh, and I think pretty much everyone who gets it sees halos and fuzziness around lights at night. I definitely do, but it`s not bad and totally worth not having to deal with contacts or glasses.
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Female 452
"They numb your eye, slice open your eye with a little razor, push back the little apart that was sliced, stick a contact lens (pretty much what it is) in the little hole in your eye, push the little flap back over and you`re done."

Umm, you do know lasik involves using lasers to reashape the cornea? No razors or lenses involved. Maybe you`re thinking of a different procedure.

Also, before you get it done, they put you in a very cold room with a shiny metallic blanket that looks like it belongs on the space station. Periodically people will come in to give you a series of drops until you`re ready.
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Female 1,593
Can someone please give me *serious* information on what happens during lasik, you know, what they have to do, healing etc. I`m really interested in having it but I`d rather listen to people who`ve actually had it that the optician..

---

I`ve seen it done.

They numb your eye, slice open your eye with a little razor, push back the little apart that was sliced, stick a contact lens (pretty much what it is) in the little hole in your eye, push the little flap back over and you`re done.

The slicing your eye with a razor is exactly why I am NEVER getting this done.

And I like my glasses.
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Male 3,482
starfl4ke

Here`s a video of what they do during lasik.

I haven`t had it done, but apparently during the procedure it doesn`t hurt much.
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Male 249
but yeah my visions really sexy now :)
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Male 249
starfl4ke, i had it done just less than a year ago.
they basically peel back the top layer of your eye, put some crap in there so you cant feel anything and all you can see is a blurry flashing light which you`re meant to look at (this is the laser that is currently raping your eye). they make it so you cant blink and all that and the whole procedure takes about 10 minutes. then you have 3 eye drops youve gotta keep taking for a while, one makes your vision cloudy and one is just fake tears to stop your eyes going dry. yu sleep with some goggle-shades things too for a week. and shower with swimming goggles on. basically treat your eyes like they got a sharp knife against your sack. oh yeah and after the surgery get home asap and go to bed cos after about an hour it hurts like so much to keep your eyes open. happened to me half way through the train journey. also dont do it with optical express because they keep sending you letters after with useless vouchers.
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Female 1,190
TheTumor- im not trying to instigate anything, it sounded like you were, it was a mistake but hey, thats why they say most communication is done through body language,my bad. and since when do i take things seriously on here? its all in good fun
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Female 349
Can someone please give me *serious* information on what happens during lasik, you know, what they have to do, healing etc. I`m really interested in having it but I`d rather listen to people who`ve actually had it that the optician..
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Male 63
For anybody planning on getting it in the future, if you pay close attention you can smell you eye burning. I got my eyes zapped about a year ago and my vision is now 20/15. There was no pain. And you don`t have to worry about sitting still. You do have to sit still, but the computer that tracks your eye prevents anything from going wrong if you move, so you don`t have to worry about it.
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Male 15,510
Looks legit to me
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Male 132
There`s a much easier way to do this
1. Get contact lenses
2. Put them in your eye
3. That`s it!
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Female 452
Guvax, your friend must not have had a very good doctor, then. My eyes didn`t hurt at all after or during lasik (they give you lots of numbing drops). It was just a pain having to use all those drops and not being able to rub your eyes for a month afterwards.
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Male 15
Could someone explain this?

If not, this has to be THE WORST joke I`ve ever seen.
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Male 25
A friend of mine got lasik. said the procedure is painless and all he saw was a bright light...next few days were horrible though, he couldnt see or open his eyes at all because they hurt so bad. They have to cut back a flap of your eye so they can get right in there with the laser, and the healing time is not fun. But he has 15-20 vision now (i think)!
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Female 2,352
I need Lasik but I find the "hold very f*cking still while this laser hits you in the eye don`t worry its painless" part scary. XD
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Female 614
can you see the laser when you get lasik? also, does it hurt? anybody who has had it, weigh on in
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Female 387
I got a sight test at a place that offers laser eye surgery, but despite the fact I`m not eligible for it because my eyesight hasn`t settled yet, they keep trying to get me to take it. I think they`re trying to rip me off. Wouldn`t mind LASIK though. Want to see properly!
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Male 177
not funny. I get it, but it lacks what the French call `je ne sais humor`
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Female 876
i neeeeeeeeeeeed itttttttttt!!!

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Male 552
TxP- I wasnt calling anyone a dumbass other than the dumbasses that would try this proceedure at home.
Try instigating and taking things literal elswhere. And stop taking everything posted on this site so serious.
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Male 876
I don`t think there is a joke here, it is just a stupid cartoon.
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Female 1,435
that dog looks like he knows what he userly gets up to when he puts a do not disturb sign outside his door
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Male 39,929
is there a joke here somewhere?
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Male 2,788
I don`t get it.
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Female 1,190
-TheTumor
really? you`re gonna try and back up a pointless joke and try to insult everyone else?
you must be the life of the party :P
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Male 328
I think the joke is the painless procedure part I mean it has an * after it.......
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Male 552
The joke is "Go burn your drating eye out, dumbasses."
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Male 81
i dont get the joke.
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Male 4,807
I was looking for the funny punch line. Didn`t find it, so I looked again and still haven`t found it?

Maybe it somewhere in the comments? Mmm, Nope not there either!
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Male 6,693
I dont think so
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Male 366
...mmmkay.....
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Male 354
@ dave while you are there try to find your joke as well
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Male 3,819
I think we`re missing a very important part of this joke.
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Male 807
I LOL`d, reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite with the "time machine"...
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Male 541
I think I`m going to head to the lost and found to try and find the point of that
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Female 1,623
Meh.
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Male 62
Okay, cannot wait for the statistic showing how many people lost there sight cause they failed doing this the right way!
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Male 1,958
.....
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Female 3,574
...... wha?
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Male 45
And what was the point of all of this exactly? O_o
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Male 1,764
Hey! I came up with this idea, I`m not even kidding, and submitted it as a mock invention in my English class back when I was in highschool. Someone`s spying me and stealing my ideas, creepy.
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Male 85
Why does Jimmy Car need laser eye surgery?
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Male 20,916
Link: How To Give Yourself LASIK Surgery [Pic] [Rate Link] - You`re only three steps away from a life of clear sightedness.
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