A Parents Guide To How Teens Talk [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago in Funny

This is an actual newspaper article to teach parents how to decipher how their teen kids talk. Fap? Really? Wrong!
There are 313 comments:
Male 496
LOL!!! more confusing than clarifying, and more misleading than helpful. i love it!

secks: something desirable
phatty: incredibly good
puff: something very good

well these are all true...but still
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Male 724
[quote=irbord]If fap means drunk, I`m an alcoholic.[/quote]

Win.
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Male 151
haha urban dictionary is way easier, and more correct
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Male 321
hahaha are you seriouse? If your a parent and cant understand what your teenage child is saying, you are a terrible parent.
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Male 33
If fap means drunk, I`m an alcoholic.
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Female 430
I laughed when I saw moo.
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Male 69
This is way too pathetic
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Male 208
"Wow, im an adult teen and i don`t even know one fourth of these. I assume only colored people and poorly raised kids use most of these. and im pretty sure fap means something else... "

Seriously?
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Female 60
That is not what jigga or jiggas mean.
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Male 94
lol this is... too redic.

fap? really? lol
also for "piece" mobile phone?
mom: "don`t forget your piece!"
kid: "oh crap, I didn`t know you knew I smoke weed"
mom: "wait, what?"
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Male 228
sick my duck you stupid cant
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Female 249
That`s not what loose means.
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Female 2,352
That`s not what fap means. .

I can see why you guys in Europe hate these chavs. If I heard people talking like this I would want to punch the sh*t out of them.
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Female 91
"one fourth", you mean a quarter
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Male 67
i can say ive never used the majority of these words and most of the ones i do use are either badly translated or were used by my parents
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Male 226
Wow, im an adult teen and i don`t even know one fourth of these. I assume only colored people and poorly raised kids use most of these. and im pretty sure fap means something else...
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Male 2,700
This.....This is just plain sad....

Parents, if you are so devoid of the interactions between yourself and your children that you have not kept up on this, you need to spend more time with them.

On the counter side of that though, a good 1/3 of this is wrong or simply misunderstood. But seriously...FAP!!!

The other ones that really stood out for me was "Pill"...and Skag. Are we really refernceing ugly people to a dog with a gaping maw in borderlands?
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Female 5
Omg, I`ve stumbled across a chavs anonymous meeting.
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Male 1,078
haha.
Fetch.
isn`t that from mean girls?
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Male 142
"fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap...

...fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap..."
-Linkenberger

Indeed. I think that one`s changed on them already :P
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Female 1,593
So, for Canada Day, we went to the park and I saw a lot of people fapping.
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Male 1,164
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap...

...fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap...
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Female 354
Dang, these ubernoobs need to chillax. Fo shiz.
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Female 354
Dang, these ubernoobs need to chillax. Fo shiz.
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Female 1,070
"fap: drunk, confused, intoxicated"

...really?

fail.
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Female 160
lmao "hol[l]ah!"
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Male 1,256
I-AM-MOO

Baahahahahhahahaa
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Female 80
piece actually refers to a gun... phatty is more related to joints and cigarettes are mostly refered to as cigs or fugs
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Female 3,598
i would luv to puff on an incredibly good phatty...
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Female 23
Crack: After school study group
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Male 141
lol @ fap
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Male 1,351
Yo foos, don`t hack this skag writer with your salty attitudes. Chillax, the rents wanna be coolth, be uber fetch too; they wanna gel with you, fo shiz. So give `em a cheeze, hop in your hooptie, and go pez out so they think they be phatty wit their grip of lingo and leave you be.
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Male 3,842
Ha ha ha, "Secks" is "Something Desirable"

Yeah, I`ll say it is!

And "Grommett" has meant "a child who surfs" for the past, oh, 45 years or so
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Female 446
more like "a parents guide to how douchebags talk."
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Male 651
To be fair, the article is from the UK and the word fap here doesn`t have the same meaning as it does in the US (to my knowledge it doesn`t really have any meaning.) we use the word wank.
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Female 305
i only hear those words on the south side of chicago..... and from lil wayne
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Male 99
I love part where it reads "adolescents love the idea of having a secret language that adults can`t access, they say". What does that even mean? They found someone who can speak for all adolescents? Horrid reporting and no fact checking.
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Male 605
if you still use any of those words you do it looking like a [email protected]
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Male 591
who the hell came up with that crap? If anything its going to alienate parents from kids, cause the parents are going to get the wrong idea about what is said.
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Male 140
D: I haven`t heard of half of them words before. And fap does not mean that -.-
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Male 1,678
So a dogger fapping is a police officer drinking? This makes me fap :S
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Female 9,572
They still don`t get it.
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Male 34
i dont think anyones used half of these... and as the reast of IAB knows, fap dostn mean drunk xD
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Male 707
secks - something desirable

well, yes... yes it is.
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Male 670
...thats not what fap means...
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Male 1,140
I love when news stations try and decipher internet lingo as if it`s some secret code.

Seriously, it makes me happy to see how paranoid they are and how wrong they get it.
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Male 794
damn does it mean im getting old since i know like only a few, i like Ticket-party pill, more like E Train ticket - Happy pill :)
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Male 33
crunk is when u get high and drunk not crazy drunk baha
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Male 5,194
>>I haven`t even heard 3/4 of these.

They always make up a bunch of them on the spot to see if they can get their own stupid terms into popular usage. These "slang term lists" have been loaded with BS every time I`ve seen them.
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Male 40
HEY GUYS, ANYONE WANT TO FAP WITH ME? I`M STAYING UP ALL NIGHT.
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Male 1,596
who did they talk to to get these?
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Male 237
get mah swerve on ZEEEN!
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Male 225
The writer is such a dick.
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Male 23
i`m gonna kill that dumbass
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Male 450
[email protected] Secks, and Fap. Not quite.
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Female 1,963
Oh my god. I can just imagine some parent calling out to his kids as they`re leaving to a party, "Don`t get fapped!".
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Male 34
I remember seeing this when I got that newspaper way back when it was published and laughing. For those wondering it`s from a Western Australian newspaper unfortunately...
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Male 1,299
You guys are morons. This is 100% accurate...


Circa 1985-1996
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Male 575
HAHAHAHA!
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Female 4,039
I guess she watched Clueless before writing this article.
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Female 160
.. my 50-odd relatives use "durri". I always thought it was Aussie slang.
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Male 741
adults without kids are the only ones who realize that by the time teen lingo appears in the newspaper it`s laughably out of date - and here is a prime example.
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Male 149
damn... who ever wrote this sucks. Oh, they`re probably Brits.
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Male 2,893
and lol @ davymid.
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Male 2,893
if anyone in here uses any of these words, you sir, are a dumbass.
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Female 19
Because everybody smokes weed with their mobile phone.
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Female 136
I haven`t even heard 3/4 of these. Who says this stuff? They certaintly don`t at my school.
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Male 605
stupid old white woman/man wrote this!!
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Female 298
lolololol a gaper isn`t a beginner... it`s describing the gap between someones goggles and their hat... it looks rediculous, so these people get their own name: gaper.
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Male 782
So, technically, if I-Am-Bored want to keep up with the kids` lingo, they should change name to:

I Am Moo

(and I have to make a new user account: Moo-am-I)
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Female 833
@davymid I am a pretty little girl.
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Male 1,067
Everything about this article is cringe-worthy.
I hate it when parents try to "get down with the kids." They just end up using these stereotypical words that no kid in their right mind would ever even consider using, making them sound even more out of touch with what`s "fetch".
I hate The Times
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Male 2,220
I didn`t think teenagers talked. I thought they just grunted.
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Male 698
Hmm? i am a teenager but i don`t remember when is the last time i used those "words"
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Male 639
"Pwnage - To Own" lol.
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Male 255
@Nidonemo: I am suitably chastised
...Did you hear that Davymid, try to condense to a single post please :P
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Male 53
....had to try...
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Male 176
I think you`ll find that both spellings of jewellery are used in the UK. Jewlry is exclusively used by Jimmy Saville tho. "jewlry, jewlry, jewlry,"
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Male 53
I am a pretty little girl
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Male 4,290
Actually, both are correct. US spelling is jewelry, UK spelling is jewellery.

And I`m actually surprised by how many of these I`ve heard in use. Maybe it`s more of a UK thing since it`s the Daily Fail. But no, they still got fap VERY wrong.
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Male 2,159
Also lol at E-Class meaning "a really expensive car". No it isn`t! Most people who actually think they need this guide will either own one or know someone that does. And I`m pretty sure it`s not a slang term.
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Male 2,159
There are many of these that I have never ever heard someone say. A lot of them are wrong or outdated too. Trust the mail...
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Male 76
hahaha XD nice one davymid
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Male 76
I love pretty, pretty flowers
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Female 856
ryski 59 - It`s the Daily Mail, an english `news` paper, and that is the correct spelling of jewellery.
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Female 245
Lol at fap, moo, puff and... their wrong spelling of "jewelry" X2 as "jewellery"
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Female 8,052
Oh dear- someone is having the wool pulled over their eyes!!
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Male 95
I am a pretty little girl
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Male 12,138
Onward from that, the IAB swear filter has its funny moments... Try typing "Suck my d*ck", with the appropriate letter inserted, and you`ll see what I mean.
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Male 12,138
[quote]I bet I can`t say niggardly either... [/quote]
Nah, you CAN say niggardly, as long as you don`t supplant the "a" of niggardly with an "e". In that case the auto-filter will rape you every time, with a word resembling "I am a racist! dly". Sometimes to comedic effect.
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Male 9,305
Aiki, please try to condense it to a single post, or let someone else talk before making another post.
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Male 249
are you sure this sin`t from the daily mail?
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Female 833
obviously not. parenting forums generally do...
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Female 833
does it do it to carseat too? c.a.r.s.e.a.t?
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Male 255
Lol, way to censor s.c.u.n.t.h.o.r.p.e I-A-B, you`ve made my day
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Male 255
Wow, that`s a harsh censor I-A-B. All I said was s.n.i.g.g.e.r and now I`m branded a racist geez!
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Male 255
Irritating middle class mother: So `kids` I want you to tell me some of your slang so we parents can understand you better.
Kid1: Oh, right <sI am a racist!>...er.. what about FAP..that means confused <sI am a racist!>
Kid2: Yeah, and stfu means thank you <laughter> Kid3:Love the muffin top by the way, you would look better with a pearl necklace though <howls>
Irritating middle class mother: Why, thank you young man or should I say stfu...
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Female 833
someone hasn`t researched this very well.... i`m way to old to know what half of this means but even i can use google to check!
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Male 228
Two things driving me crazy about this list. "Holah" should be spelled "Holla" or "Hollah." If it were"Holah" would be pronounced like Hola. Also, gel is a noun. Jell is the verb.
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Female 963
Moo.


Damn I`m fapped.
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Male 29
Dang? really? Oh, it`s Australian, they don`t fap as they can`t access porn anymore.
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Female 151
Hehehe, I`m so `fapped` right now.
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Male 208
to i-am-Moo.com the writer is such a chomper and right now im coolth but im not "hackin" just speaking the truth the writer got pwned phatty
life is mack out there for the teenagers yea im salty
DIPPIN OUT
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Male 49
Fap has the wrong meaning lol
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Female 332
LMAO @ FETCH!!! Isn`t that from Mean Girls? And they were even telling chick in the movie how dumb that was
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Male 221
Retrosexual- haha
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Female 56
Wow! This wouldn`t happen to be another reporter who posted an article without doing in depth research on the subject, would it? Nah!
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Male 2,004
lol i want to fap tonight
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Male 2,748
no, just... no..
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Female 231
This Eleni Hale really has no idea what she is talking about. People like this are frustrating. I do hope she knew that, whom ever gave her this information, was most likely messing with her on a grand scale.
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Female 117
Never heard of half of these, then again I am no longer a teenager. Ha. They seem to have got the definition of fap wrong though. Lulz.
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Female 225
I do not think they know what FAP means
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Female 223
Uber is not slang is German... anyways, I can see tv screenwriters using that "teenage slang" on their shows and making asses out of themselves. IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN, ACTUALLY
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Male 497
lol fap
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Male 117
hooptie was around at least 20 years ago. I know. My first car was a hooptie.
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Male 23
Does anyone actually say "fetch?" And I`m just wondering where these guys did their research.. Hell, just go on urbandictionary, you`ve got all your work done for you right there.
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Female 491
A lot of miscalculations, actually...
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Female 1,893
mack?? is not tough haha
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Female 1,435
lol fap
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Male 35
tell old media to meet new media`s urbandictionary.com
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Male 232
epic, absolutely epic. I haven`t heard more than half those words, and the ones I have heard are almost entirely wrong. The fap mess up is funny, but the Piece mess up is completely hilarious.
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Male 456
I like chedder cheese
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Male 106
Yeah, definitely a miscalculation on Fap...
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Female 10
This is from my local Sunday paper in Perth. I remember reading it and wondering who the heck actually talks like that. I can assure that I`ve never heard 90% of those words used by gen-y or zers in my area
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Male 12,138
I`m fapping right now as we speak. Apparently.
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Female 346
wait...they got fap wrong...
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Male 18
they got fap wrong
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Female 57
definitely foreign
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Male 86
Did they really have to decipher "Dang"?
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Male 1,378
hell no
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Female 351
Dang I feel old...and i`m only 22. I didn`t know any of these words...
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Male 24
@pacoP42: African Americans (blacks)
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Male 312
This makes my brain cells die.
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Male 1,370
Man, I was at that party and I was totally fapped out.
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Male 1,083
i`m gen x and i thought i doing pretty good keeping up with the new slang but i have never heard 2/3 of that list.
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Female 12
Haha what?! nobody says any of that stuff, Silly Parents, Youll never get it, fo shiz?
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Male 1,064
who the hell says "fo shiz"?
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Male 367
This reminds me of that part in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas where they explain drug slang...
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Male 1,193
i stopped after seeing fap meant confused
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Female 106
o.O I`m a teenager and some of this I`VE never even heard of...
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Female 275
My guess is some kid told their parents what these "mean" in the guise of helping them out, while making fools out of everyone who reads it.
Good plan!
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Female 275
Wait, since when is a piece a cell phone? Stupid suburb kids who want to own a "piece"??
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Male 3,755
Sometimes it hard to fap if you`re really fapped.
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Male 756
secks, noob, fap, pwnage, and flamed are the only ones i have ever used, and fap is the only one that they got wrong. (well technicaly they got the definition of secks wrong too but close enough)
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Female 130
"fap fap fap

don`t worry mom, I`m just getting trashed"

lmao my thoughts exactly!
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Male 1,404



Smile!?
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Female 6
And the whole pill meaning football thing... I think they got that backwards. Football means a certain kind of pill..
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Female 448
Hahaha. Last night I got wicked fap.
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Male 22
Ooooh where do I begin with what`s wrong with this?
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Female 6
Phatty means incrediably good? Since when? Last I checked a phatty had to do with weed..
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Female 199
fap fap fap

don`t worry mom, I`m just getting trashed
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Male 402
this is retarded. who gave them this list?
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Female 202
hahaha I like all the mack ones
idiots.
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Male 1,116
Alright chompers, im getting uber moo, so im gonna go smoke a durrl and gronk out.
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Male 4,014
"They forgot FAIL"

That ones sort of self-explanatory.

And "cheesing" is getting high off of male cat urine.
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Male 487
these things always crack me up because they`re usually made by some numbnuts who doesn`t have kids and had to perform an exhaustive `study` to decipher this foreign language. Then ends up with a bunch of things being way off (i.e. fap).

Easiest way to figure it out... Talk to your kids
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Male 107
fap- drunk, confused, intoxicated. ahhahahaha
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Female 1,682
LOL @ Fap. Oh how wrong they are...How wrong they are...Also, lol @ G to. Actually, lol @ all of these.
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Female 67
I lol`d at Pwnage.

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Male 5,189
I hope when I get older I dont need something like that haha.
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Male 314
Fap- Drunk, confused, intoxicated
Really?
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Male 257
well poo. iv been faping all wrong
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Male 39,913
I am proud to be a Retrosexual
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Male 571
Parents need "dang" explained to them? That word has been around since forever. And the definition of getting your "swerve on" is not even close.
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Male 2,506
FO SHIZ
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Male 222
Okay i live in New Zealand and most of these things I have never heard of.... except for chillax, dis and durry. I hope people in the US don`t really talk like that xD . We call cops PIGS not doggers?? and something cool or stylish is MINT not fetch..
But the words we probably use the most is "bro" "mate" F**K, S**T and all those ones :P
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Female 71
this kind of reminds me of a news segment posted awhile ago where the reporters spoke of (and I quote)
--reporter 1"So, the new fad in music is...`soldier boy?`"
--reporter 2 "no no you`re saying it wrong it`s sooouljier--souljahh--no wait soldjaa boy right?

nope.
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Male 1,598
"Bet they just asked random kids on the street or their own kids haha, as if they`d say the real definitions."

I can just imagine it. Hey you youngsters, can any of you hepcats tell me what "fap" means?
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Male 779
"Fap: Drunk, confused, intoxicated."
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Male 27
I`m gonna defriend that noob munter because he was hackin` about me over the piece with his chilli. I need to stop cyberloafing at my job so I can earn some cheddar and get my swerve on in my hooptie.
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Female 16
I can totally see this as being a kid`s hilarious prank on the adults in the community, just sitting back and listening to them making fools of themselves.
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Female 154
Lol Fetch...And I thought it would never catch on :P
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Female 443
Huh? Piece? cell phone? am I the only one who thought a piece was a handgun or a pipe?
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Male 330
They forgot FAIL
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Female 18
lol Crunk.... um.. last time I heard that ment to get stoned, and then drunk..... wow. poor saps
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Male 533
What a bogus list. Like, no one uses those words dude.
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Female 221
ive never talked like that in my life.
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Male 9,305
"I thought maybe it was people who still use chastity belts?"

Nah that`s a fetish now...
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Male 42
Cheezing, because it`s fon to do
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Female 1,134
awwwww they didn`t have shorty? :o
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2,838
so i guess this called i-am-moo now huh?
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Male 165
Noob means something like jerk. Newb means inexperienced person.
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Female 735
this HAS
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Male 165
Who the hell uses defriend?
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Male 63
WTF
90% of these words?!
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Female 83
"for shiz" - I always used fo shizzel, it sounds funnier.
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Male 2,148
Also, is it just me or did they fail to note how anyone using most of these words with a straight face is a douchebag? Or, being most likely a British paper, "chav" would be more appropriate I suppose.
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Female 331
Anyone ever see "mean girls?" That`s where the term "fetch" came from. No one uses it in real life. Research fail.
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Male 2,148
I like the definition for pwnage. "To own". Ah, thank you newspaper, you`ve solved every communication issue I`m concerned about with my kids.
</sarcasm>
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Male 2
Excellent.
So when you want some one to throw you a couple pills, it`s just a football.
And when you need some "tickets" to the show, it`s a party football!

Hooray for basterdized english.
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Male 928
A retrosexual is a guy who dresses in a traditional, masculine way.
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Male 394
I fell terribly fap...
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Female 151
Haha, serves them right for not properly researching the terms. Bet they just asked random kids on the street or their own kids haha, as if they`d say the real definitions.
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Female 54
I like how uber is on there.
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Female 1,593
Okay what the hell IS retrosexual?

A guy who`s borderline behavior wise but stuck in the 80s!?

---

I thought maybe it was people who still use chastity belts?
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Female 1,593
...I really hope parents don`t believe this poo. LOL
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Male 9,305
Okay what the hell IS retrosexual?

A guy who`s borderline behavior wise but stuck in the 80s!?
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Male 55
JTheGreat, that was pretty damn funny.
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Female 58
wow...since when was a "piece" a PHONE??? ok, yeah poor parents who read this and believe it...I had a friend whos mom watched one of those "is your child showing the signs that he/she is in a gang?" and flipped out on her...for no reason other than she didnt have many close friends and was different....haha....way to go media influence!!
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Male 798
Two of the best:

Fap: Drunk, confused, intoxicated.

Piece: Mobile phone.

Sigh..
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Female 1,515
Sigh...Why not just ask your kid wtf they`re saying? :P
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Female 1,062
I`m so fap right now.
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Male 8
i just skimmed, and at least half are wrong lol
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Female 130
most of the newer ones make me think of one of those oldtimey homeless paper boys
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Male 249
more than half of these are wrong...
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Male 716
I hereby declare that any adult who takes this seriously or any kid who uses any of these words shall be hit over the head with a shovel.

Any adult that uses these words shall be set on fire.
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Female 285
Let`s just hope that Above the Influence doesn`t make an "Anti-Fapping" commercial....
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Male 32
dang has got to be older than me for christ sake.
e-class is an actual car which is old a fXck
fap - well everyone knows what that really means ;)
it`s spelt holla

last but not least...lol at noob :D
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Male 1,184
My mom knew what lol means before I did.
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Male 39,913
@Thesphinx "people who neither OWN kids"

how much did you get kids for? How much will you sell one for?
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Female 3,828
lol @ fap definition. I like " retrosexual" , too. i havnt heard that one before.
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Female 1,148
Maybe if your "teen" lives in the ghetto..
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Male 505
The only time i use any of those words is when i`m using them as in-jokes or to take the piss out of someone.

Although i do use some internet talk in real life...
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Female 2,289
oh dang.
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Male 350
This paper be smack, it be flaming me and my Gs from fapping and makin` cheddar. Makes it hard to get my swerve on so I can cyberloaf at the rents to get that chedder to buy my E-Class and go holahing at the lush chilis. Fo shiz, this be dang.
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Female 1,441
I`ve never heard of any of these before lol. Is it supposed to be a joke?
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Female 1,008
I wouldn`t disagree that secks is "something desirable," but did they really define "fap" as drunk?! HAHA!
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Male 350
Lmao. Why do I get the feeling this was written by people who neither own kids nor really care to spend time around them...?

"Adolescents love having a secret language that adults can`t access, they say."

Umm, no. I use internet lingo all the time when talking to my parents over Email. They know what fail, win, pwn, lmao, and xD are. My mom also likes to write GTFO a lot... it`s creepy.
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Male 317
I wish I was in high school again just to possibley hear some loser kid who read this article say "Hey everyone, party at my house friday night, we`re all gonna get crunk and fap together."
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Female 3
I am a teen, and I never say any of this crap! The only people who I know who talk like this are the girls with TEAM EDWARD and TEAM JACOB shirts on, I hate them. And their parent most likely do to.
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Male 1,312
thats not what fap means...
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Female 318
Kanna, it says sKag not shag XD I think most americans now get the meaning of shag...but still, this is the biggest pile of crap I`ve ever seen printed in a paper....
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Male 132
"Puff: Something very good"

Indeed!
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Male 720
Total and complete fail. And Stelly, lmao.
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Male 317
[quote]And parents, you are known as rents - as in free rent.[/quote]
Or it could just be a shorten word for parent. This article is retarded, (retarded is slang for clapping)
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Male 371
the word salty has been around for ages.
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Male 936
wow this thing is way off
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Male 730
@DIETY it`s secks

also I think I`m going to start using these out of boredom. They`re deck.
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Male 331
I think "Fap" is wrong.
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Male 317
"pwnage: to own" LOL they still wont get it.
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Female 635
Secks: Something desirable.
Well I`ll say...
Also, unless American slang is completely different from British and Canadian, shag does not mean unattractive woman. Most people wouldn`t shag an unattractive woman. Because shag means `something desireable`.
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Female 86
They certainly have a different meaning for `fap` than the one I know...
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Male 22
Jesus drating balls, almost all of these words are horrifyingly wrong. Only a few are correct, and most of those people DO NOT say anymore; nor have they for the past 5 years...
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Male 196
That chick is socks. No, that doesn`t sound good, not at all.
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Male 544
I don`t know what half of these "words" mean.
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Male 1,598
When was this published? And did anyone ever talk like this, ever?
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Male 15,510
Lol,"Foo: A fool and/or friend"
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Female 1,427
Whoever made Jennifer`s Body probably used half the damn article on the script.
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Male 168
Hm ... We should rename the site to "I-Am-Moo.com"!
Then no one of these older people can find this site anymore! And they all get confused! So much fun!
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Male 9,305
WHY NOT JUST dratING TALK TO YOUR KIDS YOU LAZY PATHETIC PILES OF CRAP!? JESUS dratING CHRIST!

Pills and books will NOT help you parent! EVER! Take it from a guy who`s own parents neglected him in favor of "hands off parenting" and put all their faith into the opinions of people who never met me, but called themselves experts, and psychiatrists who ignored what I said and stuffed prescriptions into their hands!

SHUT THE HELL UP AND LISTEN!

God...damn it!
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Male 695
"Fap: Drunk, confused, intoxicated"

Apparently I`m drunk all the time
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Male 509
bahahaha secks=something desirable
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Male 1,583
i must be old. I`ve never heard most of these. and the other ones don`t mean what thought they did. Hell, I`ve been fapping wrong for years.
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Female 134
FETCH WILL NEVER CATCH ON!!!! (mean girls)

& really, who doesn`t know "Dang"??
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Male 185
Who uses half of these words anymore? Who ever did? Also, Uber isn`t slang, that is its actual meaning (close enough).
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Male 308
And I`m sorry, maybe I just have a dirty mind, or maybe its just too much internet pronz, but I don`t see the definition of GAPER as being correct either :O
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Female 387
Okay, so admittedly this is a UK newspaper, but even UK teens don`t talk like this (I`m only just out of them, so I know). Anyway, I thought `rents` was just short for `parents`, not meaning anything else. And some of the others are obviously made up.
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Female 263
ATTENTION ALL PARENTS WHO STUMBLE ACROSS THIS:

1. Most of these are used by maybe three schools that the "researcher" happened across and are generally irrelevant as a whole
2. Many of these are DEAD wrong, especially "Fap." (I won`t explain the true meaning here, let`s just say it`s an onamonapia)
3. Some of these are SOOO old it`s not funny
and 4. These parents are desperately lost in the sea of their own inability to be "groovy," and therefore are hopelessly trying to fit in with their own teens whose language is so far spread that`s it`s impossible to learn at their old age and among most teens

I APOLOGIZE FOR THESE PARENTS` STUPIDITY AND ASK YOU NOT TO REGARD THIS ARTICLE IN ANY PART.
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Female 247
drat poo moo fap
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Male 721
Moo is bored? What the hell.
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Male 39,913
I think the teens they talked to were having a good laugh

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Male 53
Isn`t "cheezing" the thing from "South Park" where they inhale the scent of cat urine?
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Female 4,376
OMG i lol`d at fap so hard. Also I only knew "chillax", "cheddar", "dang", "dis", "crunk", "pwnage", "noob", "macking" and "fo shiz". None of which I use on a daily basis.
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Male 3,819
I`ve come to the conclusion that this newspaper was infiltrated by the best in the business to throw parents off. Huge victory for the teenagers.




And yet another huge victory for Corey Delaney.
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Male 139
Well where I live cheesed means angry, and I get really "cheesed" when people use it like that.
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Male 221
Fap: Drunk, Confused, Intoxicated... I don`t think that`s quite right
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Male 3,819
I love how they have mack, macked, and macking and all three of them have completely different and unrelated definitions.
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Male 1,287
zomg. There are some stupid parents out there who are gonna open their mouths and embarrass themselves.
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Male 931
Anyone who talks like that should be slapped!
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Male 456
fap fap fap fap fap

Oh what? I was just drunk out of my mind! Get your mind out the gutter!
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Male 3,819
"in my area "cheezing" means run, as in "the cops! cheeze it! or "he`s cheezing it! get him!"

Apparently Zombie lives in 1986.
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Male 418
BREAKING NEWS...... slang is relevant to specific areas!!

in my area "cheezing" means run, as in "the cops! cheeze it! or "he`s cheezing it! get him!"
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Male 3,819
LOL at fap
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Male 397
These things are always written by people who dont know poo about it either.
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Male 131
Fo shiz... seriously?
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Male 541
I`m a `teenager` and I know less than a quarter of these.
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Male 599
yo, G, dont take yo piece out on the airplane, these noobs will call the doggers, and we wont get to get fap together when we land. When I fap a lot I become quite the jigga.
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Male 366
Mixing slang terms and getting some wrong all together. Fail!
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Male 53
yo, G, dont take yo piece out on the airplane, these noobs will call the doggers, and we wont get to get fap together when we land
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Female 612
I`m hoping this is just the language of Generation Z, not Y, because I haven`t heard any of my peers use more than a few of these words, and even then they were usually joking around and trying to sound ridiculous. And a ton of these are wrong. I sincerely hope no lame teens read this and tried to use "fap" in conversation to sound cooler.
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Male 2,419
that`s not what fap means at all...
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Female 708
hahahaha like my parents don`t know what "dang" means xD
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Male 25,416
wow, thats pwayer talk!
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Male 234
"that sounds to me like its australian"

i can vouch for my people in saying that this is in no way shape or form australian slang lol. to me SOME of it that i know sounds like american street slang.
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Male 79
I could`ve sworn I was told "Fetch" would never "be" a word....DARN YOU MOVIES!!!!
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Female 751
P.S. Urbandictionary.com is a WAY better resources! xD
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Male 5,314
what the hell are those? those are the most retarded things i`ve seen. i`ve never heard anyone use any of those.
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Female 751
Attempt at communication with teens fail
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Female 895
half are wrong, and a lot of those I havn`t heard anyone say.
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Male 1,162
wow at these translations. I`m totally FAP right now! er rather, fappING!
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Male 432
that`s mostly stoner talk.
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Male 503
@msieg007 ditto
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Male 133
Yeah half that freaking stuff is wrong. I bet the person that wrote it is either a no life nerd, an idiot parent... or maybe someone that just wasnt to make a jacka$$ out of some parents. I mean, if they walked in trying to be cool with there kids...
"I know you`re dang about your rents, but I can see your chedder is gone and smell you been fapping all night. Dont you wanna be a phatty lifer, and make us uber loose about you?"

HAHAHAHAHA
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Male 1,523
My god, they must`ve been researching a group of real idiots!

Who in the world talks like that??!?!
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Female 16
I feel sorry for the teens whose parents or grandparents read this...and took it seriously.

"What were you doing with your friends? Were you getting crunk? Perhaps fap?" *shudders*
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Male 697
and lol at fap... so wrong.
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Male 697
parents are known as rents as in free-rent? surely its cos its pa`rents`.
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Female 1,652
I AM SO MOO!

Fail. Fap is to fapfapfap and a piece is your gat from where I`m from.
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Male 2,034
So... I don`t use ANY of those words... Does that mean I`m old now?
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Male 2,688
I`d like to go on record as saying fap does NOT mean drunk... but its something you sometimes do when you ARE drunk... :p
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Female 1,181
i bet the kids who gave them this bull$hit "dictionary" are still laughing their asses off.
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Male 4,807
FAP ... Drunk, confused, intoxicated??

Hmmm. I`ll Fap to that!
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Female 646
hey guise, check out my new PIECE!
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Male 2,085
"the secret code of teens" Whoever wrote that line is a nerd.
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Male 1,226
Every chomper talks this way. You can`t gel with the other foos if you don`t.
I`m moo.

What the drat. Who actually talks like that?
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Female 3,726
Let`s start a sentence, everyone take a workd and build on....I`ll start

Yo G, you got my cheddar....
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Female 203
Haha "Loose-A positive word...." Uhh, sorry, not in my vocabulary.
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Male 1,958
...... I`m dumber for reading this
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Male 126
that sounds to me like its australian
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Female 1,190
ahahaha fail
i havent heard of half of these and quite a few that i know are usually not used and or wrong lol
fap, hahaha
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Male 719
I agree that "secks" is something very desirable indeed.
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Male 24
Why have I never heard of most of these words? Did they just make up this list in order to seem "hip"? Not to mention they got most of the ones I do know completely wrong.
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Male 234
"I`m pretty sure cheezing is huffing cats piss..."

south park? hahah
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Male 6,693
So thats what them kids be talking bout.
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Male 4
Fap? Really?
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Male 1,674
"Fap? Really? Wrong! "

maybe, or maybe we just don`t know "Parent" lyngo.
Man, that girl is the Sears catalogue was so hot, I whipped it out and drunked all night long.
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Male 234
ahh street talk, thank god people dont talk like that here lol. not that there is anything wrong with it.
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Male 534
Fetch. lol
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Female 111
HAHAHA, i was under the impression that "Fap" was the sound that comes from a guy jacking off! at least that`s what it means around here... hahaha.
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Male 599
I`m pretty sure cheezing is huffing cats piss...
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Female 2,026
really? who uses these? i would say i use about 10 of them. im going to `gronk out` now...
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Female 1,604
can`t say I ever heard anyone use those words before
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Male 20,909
Link: A Parents Guide To How Teens Talk [Pic] [Rate Link] - This is an actual newspaper article to teach parents how to decipher how their teen kids talk. Fap? Really? Wrong!
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