Woman Claims To Have Gotten Pregant From....

Submitted by: ryan99 7 years ago in
http://newsolio.com/jennifer-stweart-3d-film-got-me-pregnant,9895

An alien? A cow? Swimming in a public pool? Well, I-A-B, take a guess.
There are 127 comments:
Male 2,159
Request permission to lose faith in humanity?
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Female 934
*facepalms*
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Female 34
"With today’s technology, anything is possible"
HAHHAHHA. ya lady...... except transferring sperm into your fallopian tubes via film.
I truly wish I could shank this skid mark in the gouche.
Why are these insanely simple people even allowed to breed??? LIKE REALLY
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Female 1,199
HAHAHAHA.

I love it. ;D
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Male 14,331
These are the people breeding LOL there`s no god!!!
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Female 56
If he believes that, then he deserves to have his slutty wife cheat on him!
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Female 635
That`s it - the stupidity minimum has been passed, and said mother continues to sink like the retarded slut who couldn`t swim.
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Female 635
LMFAO
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Female 635
page is blocked!!!

damn it now i will never know!!

Dx
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Female 864
That is going to be one stupid kid .
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Female 451
lmao. that lie got about as big as the lie of how Mary "got pregnant by god"
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Male 2,552
IF this is real, which I doubt incredibly much, so much that this is purely hypothetical, this has got to be the world record for the placebo effect...
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Female 876
This is really poorly written... Typos abound.
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Male 23
I just got blasted on my facebook for posting this link by a woman who knows what`s going on with this story . It turns out that the woman`s computer was hacked and the hacker created this false story and submitted her pictures to the news outlet. Her husband is in the military, but he is black and that is their child.
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Male 2,593
really??? If your that drating dumb, grab a gun and get the hell outta my gene pool.
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Male 274
Well this is obviously fake, If i let myself believe for one second that this was remotley genuine I would lose complete faith in humanity and kill myself... and probably a few others too =P
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Male 509
god that guy`s an idiot...
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Female 833
WHAT THE DRAT?
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Female 1,043
if this was true, id be pregnant with a smurf. O_O
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Male 522
my guess was a black man
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Male 5,314
WHAT!!!
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Female 307
These kind of satire stories are funny.
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Male 510
wait they make 3d porn? i gotta see that :D
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Male 10,440
I suppose that its a good thing that the idiot of a husband isn`t passing on his genes.
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Male 343
oh, so many things to talk about... ill begin with A.

A- her last name is to hard to pronounce so i changed it to stewart in my head.

B- perhaps its not the movie itself, but what was going on DURING the movie... eh?? EHHH????

C- her husband must be retarded to believe that, or he must have seen the movie and jizzed in his pants, then agreed with the wife. Hell of a 3d movie.
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Female 248
She must have a really desperate/stupid husband.
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Female 965
"With today`s technology, anything is possible."

WTF? )-|
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Female 1,604
uhhh people that stupid shouldn`t be allowed to raise kids.
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Male 723
"Well, see, I was at this party at the officer`s club ... and ... there was a lot of drinking going on ... and ... I seem to remember naked twister or something ... and ... there was this (really hunkie) African American gentleman ... and I accidentally fell on his dick ... a lot ... yeah, it was 3D television.

You believe me don`t you, honey? Hee hee"

8-) LJ
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Male 715
I honestly can`t believe the husband is dumb enough to think that`s possible.
@Humunaha don`t be such a troll
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Male 13
"Despite HER WIFES bizarre explanation, Iraq US military MAN Erick Jhonson said:...."
Okay there`s your problem dude.......
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Male 499
Man, I couldn`t possibly prepare for something that retarded.
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Male 499
I have not read any comments, but I`m going to guess...

From her own baby.
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Male 13
@TKD_Master & @slayer50515
As far as -I- know, as a bio major, the genes which govern skin color operate by incomplete dominance, which causes a "mixing effect." This means in the parents were carrying a/some gene/s for darker skin tone, it would have manifested in them phenotypically. I don`t see it possible that two white parents had a black child. Please correct me if I`m wrong.

TLDR: She cheated.
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Male 660
@slayer50515: Her explanation would indicate that somewhere in her DNA there`s also a recessive IQ gene.
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Male 988
@TKD_Master
Thats just basic genetics.
For those who don`t understand, see "recessive and dominant traits."
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Male 9
That kind of porn should be called 4D
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Male 1,929
Two Grade A retards right there.
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Male 439
another posting for fmylife
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Male 4,793
Either she had an affair with a black man, or her and her husband just had a black baby. Yes, two white people CAN have a black child. It`s rare but it happens...just like two brown haired people can have a redhead child. the black/red is buried somewhere in their gene pool from a past relative, and the trait just decides to surface.
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Male 10,855
Well of course the porn made her pregnant.
It was so freaking fun that it made her forget who was f--king her.
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Male 10,855
Porn that gets you pregnant. Who would`ve thought?
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Male 350
A whole new level of "retarded".
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Male 373
i think the poor dude`s really doubtful, but he doesnt want to lose his marriage?
shoot idk he could be that dumb...
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Male 1,108
Yeah try writing that on a child support form.
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Female 3,574
biggest. facepalm. ever.
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Female 243
Is it possible to be that stupid???
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Male 2,004
shes got jungle fever
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Male 3,482
[quote]Not fake. Here’s another (more well-written) source:
www.tech eye.net/intern et/woman-sa ys-3d-porno-ma de-her-preg nant
(Just get rid of the space, leave the dashes)[/quote]

I have a bottle of pain killers...

IAB, do I down them or not?
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Female 85
omg she`s PREGANT! huh what
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Female 315
"Warning: 3D package DVD contains splooge." I mean, that`s on every label right? Right? >.>
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Female 336
*eyeroll*

Satire is so much better with correctly spelled words and a plot that sort of almost makes sense, but in a funny way.

FAIL.
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Male 30
i call fake. too many typos , not a very well known website .
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Female 1,401
he`s too stupid to be fighting for us. AGHH the stupidity burns...
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Male 5,189
...really....

...REALLY?
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Male 1,266
Seriously... she couldn`t at least say she was raped? Or that it must have been a genetic throwback or mutation?
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Male 904
"Despiter her wifes bozarre expanation" is the most awesomeness sentence fragment I`ve read all day.
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Male 599
"The films in 3D are very real. "

But not nearly as real as the black guys she drated
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Male 179
This woman is a jackass, and the husband is just a dumb poor sucker.
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Male 1,378
>I don’t know which is the stupid one – Her for saying it or him for believing it. :)
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Male 378
well done jennifer.... well done IN HELL!!!
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Male 772
God how dumb can you be?!?! The wife for making up such a flimsy excuse and the husband for BELIEVING IT...
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Female 77
Not fake. Here’s another (more well-written) source:
www.tech eye.net/intern et/woman-sa ys-3d-porno-ma de-her-preg nant
(Just get rid of the space, leave the dashes)
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Male 28
If in fact this wasn`t fake, the husband is just playing it off for the time being until he gets back to the states, and one night claims "flashback" and kicks the poo out of her.
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Male 1,931
I`m calling bullpoo, considering the pooty grammar and spelling in the article.
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Male 10,440
[quote] It is fake, they got Onion`d. [/quote]

Why do you have to spoil the fun?
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Female 3,828
yep defenitely fake.
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Male 31
Haha that woman is a slut she got nailed by a big black rooster and made this wild story so her husband wouldnt leave her ROFL if this is true id piss myself laughing.
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Male 36
It is fake, they got Onion`d.
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Male 194
W..w?
What?
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Male 2,148
I wanna say I don`t think anyone`s retarded enough to believe his is even possible.
Then again, I`ve been wrong before...
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Male 236
Ok i really hope this is fake, and i think it is, since the story is retarded, these people have never used spell check, and i`ve never heard of the news site. If it is fake, the commenters below the story just look like fools.
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Male 606
Proof the human race needs purging...
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Male 8,302
OMFG chortle ROFL. I don`t know which bit is funnier, her claim `she got pregnant by watching a 3D adult film`, or his `The films in 3D are very real. With today`s technology, anything is possible.`

How can people this stupid feed themselves?

This HAS to be fake. Either that or someone needs to press The Button, right now, for the sake of the rest of the galaxy.
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Male 3,482
I`m REALLY hoping this is fake...

Because if it`s not I`m killing myself tonight.
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Female 492
Man, what happened with that last paragraph? It`s all kinds of messed up.

As is the story. I hope it`s fake. :-P
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Female 1,172
It`s a fake news article from the overseas equivalent of The Onion apparently.
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Female 8,043
"Despiter her wifes bozarre expanation" quoted straight from derp derp derrrrrrrrrrh national news
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Female 169
is she serious?
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Female 2,674
@taxicab2004 - Nice try but nope! I tried that first, neither that nor with the censors results in IAB.
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Female 3,598
she just can`t go back...
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Male 2,796
"Newsolio"?? Is this a reputable source? I know humanity in general is wayyyy retarded, but there is no way it can be this bad.
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Male 112
@LillianDulci
try typing "Im f***king depressed someone f***king kill me".... your forgetting about iab`s censors
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Male 40,382
There might be rational explaiations for this, but 3D MOVIE is NOT one of them :P
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Male 327
O.k. guys I just researched this article a bit more and came acrossthis talking about the article and it also says at the bottom that this is pretty much an overseas version of the Onion, so don`t worry, this is fake, but still hilarious
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Male 118
Tiger Woods strikes again!
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Male 327
Anyone else notice that among the obvious typo`s in the last paragraph it says "Despiter HER wifes bozarre expanation"
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Female 354
"That Jeninfer Stweart person seems thrustworthy despite her bozarre expanation.

I say this article is rael."

Msot defntiely.
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Female 2,674
"I just googled Im drating depressed someone drating kill me and the first result was iab"
Lies.
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Female 179
I just googled Im drating depressed someone drating kill me and the first result was iab
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Male 1,435
If it`s real and the guy actually believes that story, that says a LOT about the quality of people they allow in their military.
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Male 4,014
lol, no
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Male 174
That Jeninfer Stweart person seems thrustworthy despite her bozarre expanation.

I say this article is rael.
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Female 654
haha second thought...wow!! its like i can touch you
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Female 2,674
The misspellings in the last paragraph are due to a decreased IQ after hearing what the man`s response was to his wife`s claims.
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Female 654
thank god she wasn`t watching animal planet...
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Male 588
Recessive and dominant genes and stuff or article is fake or something else, blah-blah-blah, all that... But seriously, where did they get 3D porn?
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Male 2,422
It`s the second coming!!!
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Female 93
*epic facepalm*
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Male 3,255
I can`t see a real human being this ignorant. Fake news article is fake.
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Male 25,417
Poor guy, stuck with a cheating whore!
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Male 2,033
Who the hell wrote that article, a 10 year old?

"Despiter her wifes bozarre expanation, Iraq US military man Erick Jhonson said"

Spell check, anyone?
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Male 5,624
on it`s way to the unfertilized spare egg.

Not knowing the difference she carries on and...
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Male 5,624
"wow... She`s a whore, and he`s an idiot."

Scenario 1)
He has something to hide that would explain the whole thing:

During his last leave, he bangs a chick who has another lover, who is black, without wearing protection. He then comes home and bangs his wife before taking off.
-------------------------
Scenario 2)
He let`s her have a really good ramming, gets on the plane. A month later, she confirms with a physician that she IS preggers, tells him the news.

The next week, she goes to New York to celebrate the new addition, meets with her buddies who point out that she can get a freebie with the charismatic Mr. Longjohnson, the college friend to whom she was attracted, but did not have the integrity to marry.
Mr. Longjohnson is out of Trojan Magnums, she wants it raw, anyway. Who doesn`t?

So, the high volume seamen of Mr. Longjohnson, who has a low PH diet of 6 dark coffees everyday, causes the first fetus to abort while
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Female 277
She deserves points for originality at least.
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Male 2,551
Actually, there have been cases in which fully white parents have given birth to black children, and black parents given birh to white children. I`m not sure what causes it exactly, but it`s happened - so it could be the cause here.
Or she could be screwing a black man.
They do say once you go black, you never go back after all.
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Male 4,431
I`m with you, LandoGriffin, it has to be some sort of Onion-type thing. I mean, 3-D is good, but it ain`t *that* good!
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Male 196
Poor military guy, I`ve seen it a hundred times.
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Male 120
NORDBERG!
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Male 2,700
I do not think anyone in the Adult industry has the money to produce a 3d film to today`s standards......If the explainination is any indication, is this woman dumb enoughh to believe that the glasses make the films real?
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Female 497
She should have gone with the ol` alien abduction excuse.
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Female 101
10 points for pulling that one out of her a**
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Female 20
What the hell is up with the last paragraph? It is free of spelling errors until the last paragraph:

"Despiter her wifes bozarre expanation, Iraq US military man Erick Jhonson said: “I see it as suspicious. The films in 3D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible.”

I think someone should check on the author, I think he may have had a stroke in the middle of typing this.
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Male 231
hahahaha imagine his face when the baby came out brown. Sigh. Moments like those
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Male 1,610
I`m sure the husband knows but doesn`t have the balls to say anything.
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Male 1,598
wow... She`s a whore, and he`s an idiot.
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Male 133
And he believes her? Please tell me that`s fake... Morons.
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Male 931
By that i mean shes stupid to think people will buy it.
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Female 59
Aw man I submitted this too! Haha! It is a brilliant story.
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Female 133
What kills me is that the husband believes it`s possible.
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Male 931
Stupid bitch!
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Male 3,842
This is a joke, right? Something like The Onion?
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Female 27
Doesn`t really say much about the intelligence levels of US soldiers does it?!!! Hardyha haha :-P

But seriously, the guy cant HONESTLY believe this.
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Female 282
you are NOT the father!!
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Male 97
Whoa... whoa... how screwed up is she for using this as an "explanation"? Worse.. how drating stupid is her husband for buying it?!?
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Female 112
That`s some bullpoo right there.
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Male 2,344
Link: Woman Claims To Have Gotten Pregant From.... [Rate Link] - An alien? A cow? Swimming in a public pool? Well, I-A-B, take a guess.
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