The Better Marriage Blanket Made For Couples

Submitted by: xxPinkxx 7 years ago in Misc

Silent and deadly Dutch Ovens no more...
There are 66 comments:
Female 48
Don`t tell my hubs! He would buy this so I couldn`t dutch oven him again!
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Male 2,402
Farmer Jones used to make his wife smell his farts every night when they went to bed. One night Mrs. Jones told her husband after his usual farts. "You know one day your guts are going to come out from all this farting" Replied Mr. Jones "sure honey what ever"! In the early morning before daylight Mrs. Jones woke with an idea. She went to the fridge and took the innards out from the thawed chicken and boiled them. Then she snuck back to the bed and laid the guts beside his butt. She went back to the kitchen to make breakfast. A bit later there was a large scream! She laughed and snickered and walked to the bedroom and asked "Anything wrong dear"? Mr. Jones was sobbing and said "I`m so sorry honey". "You were right my guts did come out, but with God`s help and theses two fingers I managed to push them back in again"!
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Male 15,832
Liohhart, that`s one of my favorite jokes, only I tell a longer version. It`s an old lady going in for a checkup, and she tells the Dr. about her silent, odorless flatulence. He gives her a prescription for some pills and tells her to come back in a week.

Next week she`s livid. "My gas is still silent, but the smell is HORRID! What are you going to do about it"

"Well," he replies, "Now that we`ve got your sinuses cleared up, I`m sending you downstairs for a hearing aid."
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Male 143
Great gift my ass! I know that a girl would slap you if you tried to give that to her!
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Female 108
no more Dutch ovens!!
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Male 955
I love how all tv products are used by the military or some poo
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Male 2,619
So farting is a health issue?
Bull hunky, its a natural bodily function.
And hilarious!
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Male 8,302
> OldOllie
> My farts smell nice and sweet

My missus went to the Doc and said "You`ll never guess what the problem is Doc... flatulence. Farting. I do it ALL the time. In fact, I`ve done about 10 since I walked into your office. Just lucky for me they don`t make any sound, and don`t smell!"

The doc said "Here`s a referral to the Hearing specialist, and here`s one to the Nose specialist. Get those sorted out then we`ll deal with the flatulence."
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Male 2,553
I would love to not see how that blanket, if real, would be like after a few years of use.
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Male 5,617
"My farts smell nice and sweet. "

You seem to be single. Get used to that...
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Female 3,828
Nah i dont think its real. Sure cracks me up, though. :-)
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Male 15,832
i don`t see what the problem is. My farts smell nice and sweet.
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Male 12,365
[quote]If your gas is at the level that you need a anti-chemical warfare blanket....WOW, time to change the diet.[/quote]

Agreed. Maybe time to see a doctor too, just in case.
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Male 2,748
Can also be used when Al Quida decides to use chemical warefare!!! stay comfy while NOT breating in harmful gasses!!
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Male 3,631
We are stinky, disgusting, filthy animals.
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Male 35
Protects against chemical weapons...bit much?
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Male 678
oh come on everybody like s there own brand!!
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Male 245
"Compared to those two places, this is just practical."

That depends entirely on what your profession is.
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Male 5,617
"...the realization that stupid things like this actually exist..."
This isn`t stupid.

Somewhere, there is a place where women go to get jewelry placed where their vaginal hair used to be.
That place is down the street from a place where a person can have their anus bleached.

Compared to those two places, this is just practical.
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Female 697
That`s actually real? I`m about to cry out of sheer disbelief and the realization that stupid things like this actually exist...
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Male 8,302
> bizzarmind
> screw that, i`ll just sleep in a gas mask

Yeah why not? I hear Davy`s missus makes him wear a paper bag over his head in bed.
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Male 390
120 bucks....screw that, i`ll just sleep in a gas mask
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Male 554
lolol i m gonna need one if i get married, my SBD`s are really Deadly xD
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Male 833
stink sponge... that you sleep in. that doesnt sound like a bad idea
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Male 8,302
> Isseepy
> I know this is weird, but I actually enjoy the smell of flatulence.

You`d LOVE my grandpa then.
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Female 1,006
... this is real. lol
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Male 661
You know when you run into something that you think is a joke, but it`s just too well done to tell?
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Female 1,181
$120!? lol... how about just use two separate blankets?
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Male 487
why not just make a butt plug filled with the activated carcoal? lol.
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Female 160
I know this is weird, but I actually enjoy the smell of flatulence.
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Male 5,617
Which is why I have a futon bench in my office. It`s firmer than my bed anyway. She just come and sleeps in my office... and farts it up sometimes.

She`s just so cute... while killing our house plants...
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Female 3,574
CodeJockey, it`s retarded to get a divorce over farts.
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Male 5,617
"If you`re that concern about your spouse`s flatulence, you need to be dumped"
So, I take it that you are the sort that gets off on flatulence porn.
That or you hadn`t considered that someone may want to try $120 blanket BEFORE a $250,000 divorce becomes a question.


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Male 25,416
Lets test it out!
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Male 604
$120+tax+shipping?!!! WTF
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Male 734
Wait, is this for real? WTF?
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Male 126
If you`re that concern about your spouse`s flatulence, you need to be dumped
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Male 10,440
I hate to say it but this looks real.
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Female 3,727
If your gas is at the level that you need a anti-chemical warfare blanket....WOW, time to change the diet.
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Female 35
its a fart blanket. i dont think i wanna sleep in something that traps flatulence. lol
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Male 5,617
So... If I get this, she can eat all garlic covered salad she wants I don`t have to sleep in my office. Hmm...

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Male 848
I like that it`s the man who does the bad farts and the woman who is disgusted. Way to go, pooty company.
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Male 9,306
Same as the military for chemical weapons huh?
So if I use this blanket in a chem fight I`ll live? :P
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Male 527
The fabric used to protect against chemical weapons. That sells it right there, folks. FTW! :)
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Male 371
LETS EAT MEXICAN!
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Female 7,866
Does this work? Where can I buy one? Because I can`t continue sleeping in a gas mask, it`s affecting the children.
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Female 798
Eh this wouldn`t work for me, my bf just skips the dutch oven part and tries to fart directly on me :-/
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Male 2,549
`The same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons."

Ahahahaha!!
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Female 2,352
How is there love when you can`t stand each other`s farts?
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Female 414
i could have used that for one of my ex`s his gas was so bad that even covering my nose, or breathing through a pillow it was bad...
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Male 3,255
@pui

ding ding ding, we have a winner.
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Female 3,574
lol what?

Honestly, if you can`t even deal with your partner`s occasional gas, I think your marriage has a bigger problem.
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Male 5,314
was that real
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Male 1,266
Or just you know... not fart?
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Male 560
same stuff as gas masks, wow
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Male 202
I cant tell...is this a parody or is it real?


Also...after so long, you would basically have a blanket that is 99% farts...... wow.....
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Male 47
3 payments of 40 bucks? Pssshhhhh.
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Male 2,516
haha "makes a great anniversary gift"
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Female 4,376
I just can`t believe somewhere out there someone is making money off of this.
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Male 4,290
... so after a year or so, you`re sleeping under a layer of fart-essence?
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Male 1,240
How long will the carbon fibre absorb farts? And won`t it start smelling after a while?
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Male 14
ha is this real!?
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Male 305
If you can`t, "Dutch Oven" your partner, what`s the point?
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Male 15,510
Farts: Number one cause of divorce in America
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Female 665
Sleeping in farts. Lovely.
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Female 3,828
Link: The Better Marriage Blanket Made For Couples [Rate Link] - Silent and deadly Dutch Ovens no more...
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