Skater Makes Split Decision With His Crotch

Submitted by: Aus10816 7 years ago in Funny

Why guys weren"t meant to do extreme splits. (NSFW Language)
There are 142 comments:
Female 92
okay if you pause the video quickly you will the see the board split in half and part fly straight up and he lands right on it.. it`s bad.
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Female 92
p.s. i thought it was hilarious when they said 3rd times a charm hahaha XD
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Female 92
okay if you pause the video quickly you will the see the board split in half and part fly straight up and he lands right on it.. it`s bad.
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Male 317
"NO, ambulances are expensive" what a great friend....
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Female 3,598
but he didn`t do the splits at all! how did he manage to rip his taint?
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Male 487
lol, if it was his nuts he wouldn`t have gotten up and ran around screaming like a girl.

never heard of a torn chode before though.
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Male 675
This is the process I like to call "thinning the herd." Want to reproduce? Don`t jump down a flight of stairs on a cheap plank of wood with wheels bolted onto it. Then they all try to make him feel better by telling him they`ve all been to the ER before; but not for road rash on your nuts I bet.
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Female 159
"Check out the guy in the black shirt and jeans. First thing he does is pull out his phone, what a douche"

He may have been getting his phone out to... oh I don`t know... call an ambulance?? I can`t believe it took them that long to decide he needed to go to the doctor.
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Male 9
Aww... he landed so hard he broke his gooch. "Hey, were gonna be cool about it, you just gotta let us see" "its straight, its straight, its just my a**hole" XD priceless
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Male 225
Lmfao, "I`m bleeding out my drating balls, dude!" Priceless.
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Male 76
Well, if he`d make it, he would hit that fence, right?
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Male 680
Saw a really short version of this a few days ago.

Watch between 1:00 and 1:10. No-one moves until he goes "I`m ----ing bleeding!".. Check out the guy in the black shirt and jeans. First thing he does is pull out his phone, what a douche.
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Male 153
Skaters are awsome
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Female 117
stupid little fool deserved it. What did he honestly think was going to happen?
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Male 3
@ 0:55 the reaction of his friends til 1:03 was the same they just watch him.. lol
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Male 12,138
[quote]If you listen, he didn`t rip his ass, he ripped is perineum, the patch of skin between the testicles and the ass. [/quote]
Indeed, or as we affectionately call it in Ireland, the "Taint". Cause it `taint your balls and it `taint your arse, it`s the bit in between. See?
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Male 203
drat THAT poo
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Male 130
@Paulyshore

Its not far enough
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Male 130
Love the camera guy "haha, o wait drat"
But other than that anyone else laugh quietly to themselves when they heard the kid has to get his taint stitched?
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Male 1,078
That kids got drating balls to do that set tho.

well, not anymore but you know what i mean.
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Female 113
"so by doing the splits...he ripped his fncking a-hole? that`s brutal!"

If you listen, he didn`t rip his ass, he ripped is perineum, the patch of skin between the testicles and the ass. He sliced it open.
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Female 89
reminds me of this one time, i tore my hymen...

too far?
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Female 4,376
I laughed at the kid who said "ambulances are expensive". Um they look like they can`t be older than 13-14. They call an ambulance since it`s an emergency and they will have his parents or someone come in and then get billed later and insurance should pick up a good chunk. I also think that kid is a retard for even attempting to do something like that.
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Male 209
funniest.thing.ever
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Male 1,064
so by doing the splits...he ripped his fncking a-hole? that`s brutal!
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Male 1,064
so by doing the splits...he ripped his fncking a-hole? that`s brutal!
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Male 554
LOL he didnt even do the splits. Would have been a lot funnier/painful if he did that on the rail.
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Male 1,343
fastforward to the end.. "yea dude everyone has to go." even though nobody is helping. wtf?

your friends are asshats. sucks about your bawls ya crybaby
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Male 166
I`m glad he`s not wearing a helmet lol. he is really trying to lower his chance of passing on his genes
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Male 25,416
ouch just ouch!
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Male 707
"third time the charm"
i think i have to throw up now! poor kid =`(
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Male 103
lol. his perenium split.
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Male 12,138
My bad, Startech. I was going by wikipedia
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Male 235
davymid - better get your facts straight. There are tax brackets in Canada. You could get taxed as high as 50% if you make enough money in a year.
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Male 2,690
Ripped gooch...
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Male 12,138
[quote]"Ambulances are expensive? You guys have to pay for that as well? Holy crap. I`m glad I live in Canada."

Yeah but we`re not taxed for sneezing or hanging up our garden hoses either![/quote]
Income tax in Canada is between 0 and 29%. Income tax in the US is between 10 and 35%.
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Male 44
Is it just me, or does the bleeder look like Chunk from Goonies?

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Female 682
I LOVE how they all watch until "IM BLEEDING". And I also love how the kid is like...12 and hanging out with folks who look 14-17....poor kid...
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Male 497
They are like a dead audience until he says IM BLEEDING
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Male 14,331
Lol don`t wanna f*ck yourself up don`t screw with gravity for stupid ass tricks. Thank ya little f*cker for raising everyones insurance premium with your stupidity.
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Male 328
i love how after he lands and starts grabbing at his crotch no one moves or even really flinches
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Male 848
THAT. HURTS.
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Male 848
Crap.
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Male 2,049
Definitely a candidate for Tosh.o`s web redemption.
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Male 4,593
ARGHHHH! ARGHHHH!
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Male 451
don`t they all end up like this?
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Female 9,572
Cleaning out the gene pool at a time. I`m so glad he`s crying because of it.
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Male 96
Even better in HD!
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Male 252
"AHHHH MY BALLS"
Everyone sits still...
"IM dratIN BLEEDING"
Everyone stands up and gets out their cameras.
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Male 6,693
Ouch
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Female 126
@patchouly "
Ambulances are expensive? You guys have to pay for that as well? Holy crap. I`m glad I live in Canada."



Yeah but we`re not taxed for sneezing or hanging up our garden hoses either!
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Female 525
"third time`s the charm.."
the hell it is!! (for us..)

anyway, why wasn`t there a slow motion replay, i didn`t really see anything hitting the balls.
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Female 126
Basically its the boy version of an episiotomy. Yeah, he needs stitches not to mention it can get infected if not cared for. When you consider the area its located in, it`s already prone to getting dirty.
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Male 382
GirlieMutant, Ambulances are expensive in Europe too. It is just that in America the expense is paid by the one using the service as opposed to being split by every taxpaying citizen.
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Male 34
The funniest part of skating
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Male 20
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Male 518
@"Abulances are expensive" That is a real issue for people. They are really expensive, I know people in much worse situations who refuse to use an ambulance because they simply cannot afford it. We dont know the situation of these kids.
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Female 236
"Ambulances are expensive!" Only in America!!
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Male 2
i love the lack of concern from his mates. it took "im drating bleeding" before they jumped up haha
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Female 249
I kinda giggled at "ambulances are expensive..." just because of the guys lack of concern.

Poor kid, he was a persistent little bugger trying to do that jump though. You know what they say... "If first you don`t succeed then try and try again"... At least until you fall and your balls start to bleed.
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Male 236
lol did anyone else hear the kid say no homo before pulling his pants down?
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Male 1,196
one of the kids says "ambulances are expensive." I cannot think of any situation where i would need an ambulance more than if my balls were bleeding.
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Male 15
i want his scream as my ringtone
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Female 98
non nice * lol
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Female 98
just gotta say this A** holes is automatically changed to "not nice individuals" on i-a-b. pimpin.
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Female 98
poor lil kid. you guys are seriously non-nice individuals. hes prolly like the same age as my lil brother. i totally woulda pulled a crazy big siser act cause it makes me really sad and othered when kids get hurt. he may have been dumb but he was still hurt and didnt need to jut be stared at, he needed help.
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Female 737
"Dude... he should, like, see a doctor." XD

Anyway, I do feel major sympathy for the little guy. The mom in me wanted to hug him when he said "I`m scared."
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Female 803
I laughed when he did it then once they showed how bad it was... I feel bad for that kid. Hope he got it all fixed up.
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Female 332
That is so messed up that he is RIGHT! Ambulanace`s ARE expensive. It`s sad that here in America we have to weigh "paying a ridiculous amount for medical attention" versus "the ability to reproduce"
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Male 174
that gotta hurt
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Male 234
He is a 10 year old kid who just RIPPED his ball sack open. I`ve known big ass grown men who have whimpered after getting whacked in the balls, I think this kid has all the right in the world to cry after RIPPING his ball sack open. Don`t believe me come over and I will rip your sack open and we can see how long you last before you start yelling for someone to call 911.
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Female 1,324
can`t say he didn`t deserve it >> still, if you`re bleeding it`d probably be a good idea to get it checked out
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Male 571
@amonamarth20

Screw that. I don`t play games when it comes to inuries and my nards. If there`s blood involved, I`m seeking medical attention. I`d rather pay a medical bill than risk having my junk messed up.
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Female 2,289
I would be crying too if I were a 10 year old boy.
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Female 1,386
@tuxman4 "He sounds like Munch from the Goonies."

Munch? O_o Did Mouth and Chunk have a baby or something?
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Male 3,431
Suck it up fool.
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Male 367
He sounds like Munch from the Goonies.
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Male 1,370
I just love how the other guys just sit and watch as the kid breaks his balls.

I hate skater kids.
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Male 286
in retrospect, after reading a buncha comments, you guys are a buncha lil girls! Go out and do dangerous things! they are fun.
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Male 180
lol... "I`m bleeding out of my drating balls dude!"
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Male 286
Props to skateboarders. doin fun stuff breaks ya now n then. if he`s still walkin around bitchin about it there`s no real cause for alarm.
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Male 503
what a pussy
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Male 638
The kid who said ambulances are expensive is the smartest kid there. He wasn`t going to bleed out why waste $1000, could get to the hospital just as fast by car.
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Male 638
The kid is obviously faking.
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Male 118
My favorite line " it`s ok it`s ok it`s just my Bunhole"
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Male 554
lol balls!
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Male 226
This kid was obviously influenced by these idiot friends, they don`t call for a ride or anything. idiots.
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Male 798
I love how they just have a little conference.

"Yeah dude it`s pretty bad. He needs to go to the doctor".
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Male 24
My favorite part is how his friends just sit there.
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Male 363
Fair enough, I live with socialized healthcare where I don`t have to pay poo for calling the ambulance when I break my taint so maybe I`m biased. Also, I`m allergic to pain so.. yeah.
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Female 511
I love it when these overconfident kids do stupid sh|t that causes them to cry and look like pussies in front of their friends. Hopefully the injury will leave him unable to reproduce.
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Male 250
haha yeah slow mo crying and shizzle would be hilarious!
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Male 318
I WANT SLOW MOTION!!!!
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Male 250
plus for the second time its the bit of skin between the ballsack and the anus

i`ve read poo about some skaters not even going to hospital and gettin stitchs for that sorta thing

its negligable
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Male 250
hemtroll, sure for certain things it might seem worse than it is and yeah you probably would first think "call and ambulance" but then this guy actually checked himself out first

surely his assessment should have warranted the most common sense and logical thought "i can walk at least and its not my ballsack, i dont need an ambulance" and besides his friend helped make that decision after his assessment

it was the right choice not to
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Male 914
taint no big deal!
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Male 363
"ambulances should be used for extreme emergencies where its impossible to get to the hospital"

How many people are qualified to make such a call when they are in extreme pain? Call me crazy but none of the people in the video look like doctors so even if I agree that in a perfect world ambulances would only be used for emergencies it doesn`t work that way. Any guy who split their crotch open is nuts if they don`t want to get to the hospital ASAP.
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Male 250
oh and it wasnt his balls, it was the bit of skin between the balls and the a-hole
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Male 1,437
Normally I`d say, "moron should have a helmet," but clearly, that WOULDN`T help here. He made the jump, just had bad luck and a bad board. I feel for him, but it IS a little funny. he`ll be laughing after the pain goes away.
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Male 250
"The "value of a dollar" shouldn`t matter against getting to the hospital as quickly as possible!

It is BS that it costs so much, but SERIOUSLY?! Would you say the same if the car taking him to the hospital got stuck in traffic for an hour?"

technically the value of a dollar does matter

this sort of injury would be a complete waste of money to call an ambulance and would be a complete waste of time for the ambulance crew to deal with. ambulances should be used for extreme emergencies where its impossible to get to the hospital. i mean what if their was a man dying of a stroke or heart failiure? what if that man died because of someone who took an unnecessary risk and gave himself a superficial wound that he could walk away from and had multiple friends to help him on his way if he needed?

i don`t know what moral human being could live that down
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Male 340
with friends like those, life tain`t gonna be easy for him.
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Male 3,482
[quote]i take that remark the exact opposite as you do, that kid knows the value of a dollar and doesn`t want his friend to waste money on $1000 "taxi" ride. quite the good friend to have around. its not like they told him to just walk it off.[/quote]

Are you retarded? The kid just got his sack split!

The "value of a dollar" shouldn`t matter against getting to the hospital as quickly as possible!

It is BS that it costs so much, but SERIOUSLY?! Would you say the same if the car taking him to the hospital got stuck in traffic for an hour?

[quote]Darwin awards are only given to people who die, thus removing themselves from the gene pool.[/quote]

Actually, they`re given to people who do stuff like this too. As long as they end up unable to reproduce, they`re eligible for a Darwin Award.
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Male 495
Has a stair jump not resulted in a groin injury for a skater
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Male 1,351
That truly sucks. He wasn`t bad at the jump, just unlucky. Reeeeeeeally unlucky, considering the kind of damage the guys were saying near the end there.
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Male 669
btw, his 13 stair attempt wasnt that stupid, the board just happened to break. you`re never gonna get better at skateboarding unless you progress and do bigger stuff. injuries just happen to be part of the sport, just like all extreme sports.
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Male 774
patchouly,

Yeah, it`s about 1000$ for a single trip regardless of how far away the hospital is. They try to stick you with every bill possible it`s humiliating.
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Male 774
I`m surprised he can stand at all. D:
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Female 198
"Call an ambulance because a skateboard broke and went through my penis!!" HAHAHAHAHAHA
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Male 642
Here`s what happened:

He jumped, the board cracked in the middle and the sharp edges of the board`s crack line penetrated his scrotum. Had nothing to do with "doing a split" .. my grandma can split more than he did..

Picture: See the arrow pointing to the one half of the board that went vertical and he basically fell on the edge.

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Male 4,745
Ambulances are expensive? You guys have to pay for that as well? Holy crap. I`m glad I live in Canada.
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Male 362
those other kids really wanted to see his balls
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Male 571
"ambulances are expensive"

douchebag
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Female 322
I have excellent insurance Blue Cross / Blue Shield and my ambulance ride still cost me 500.00. And those guys standing around acted well - he wasn`t dying, he didn`t have blood gushing everywhere, they didn`t know just how bad he was at first, he was walking, they did offer to call an ambulance, calling his dad first when the kid was up and walking was the right thing to do.
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Male 904
And for those proud Americans who are anti health care: do you like paying for George, Dick, and Karl`s war? Nothing like giving the private companies huge contracts while the citizens pay for the drat ups. Also you must love getting brave soldiers killed in he name of... Um... Profits? Cause it sure as poo ain`t justice.
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Male 845
THATS THE HIGH SCHOOL I WENT TO. HAHAHA!!
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Male 904
That sucks for that kid. But skating is dangerous and if you`re going to attempt a 13 stair you should expect to get hurt at some point. Splitting your taint open is a hard lesson but that`s part of the experience. If every soft-ass internet keyboard jockey (read: most of you roostermasters who are giving skaters poo) could bust ill tricks it would kind of take the awesomeness away from it. Kid was prob on his parents insurance away but these young cats should have emergency plans instead of just being semiretarded when the inevitable happens.
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Male 363
BAHAHAHAAAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
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Male 2,056
HOLY SH*T
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Male 237
Ambulances are only expensive if you`re not responsible enough to have insurance...but fear not the United States government will MAKE SURE you`re responsible enough by just giving it to you.
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Male 695
That`s america for ya... "no, don`t call an ambulance! those are expensive!"
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Male 4
@ Nintenutts

"...and that`s why I love Canada"

So you like paying for other people`s stupid decisions?
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Male 669
hahahahah ambulances are expensive. funniest thing ive heard in a while.
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Female 511
Call me insensitive, but I don`t feel the least bit sorry for these punks when I see them get hurt.
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Male 467
"This is why I hate skateboarders... The kid has a serious serious injury and they all just sit there... I weep for the future if this is the kind of human beings we are becoming... "

Removing himself from the gene pool?
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Male 91
"ambulances are expensive"

...and that`s why I love Canada
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Male 1,610
Darwin awards are only given to people who die, thus removing themselves from the gene pool. Hence the name.
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Male 4
was that chunk from the goonies?
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Male 364
There`s one for the Darwin Awards.
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Male 612
""ambulances are expensive"? ...are you kidding me? what kind of douchebag says that in a situation like this?"

i take that remark the exact opposite as you do, that kid knows the value of a dollar and doesn`t want his friend to waste money on $1000 "taxi" ride. quite the good friend to have around. its not like they told him to just walk it off.
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Male 374
@ crakrjak yeah and that was the part of the board that was cracked, so the jagged edge of the board went up into there. just as he landed the board split, then that happened..... OWCH
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Male 233
haha lol @ "no ambulances are expensive"
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Male 28
This is why I hate skateboarders... The kid has a serious serious injury and they all just sit there... I weep for the future if this is the kind of human beings we are becoming...
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Male 1,505
This is destined to be a classic.
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Male 258
"ambulances are expensive"? ...are you kidding me? what kind of douchebag says that in a situation like this?
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Male 1,073
There`s one frame at 0:49 that looks like the big piece of the skateboard could have nailed him in the crotch.
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Male 17,511



You can see the end of the skateboard right up `in there`. Eeeek!
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Male 422
"ambulances are expensive"

That`s great. Haha
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Male 149
I`m bleedin` out my effin` balls!
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Male 300
Double ouch
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Male 17,511
He split his gooch (taint), Egads!
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Male 88
i love how everyone just stays sitting staring at him roflmao
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Male 639
Link: Skater Makes Split Decision With His Crotch [Rate Link] - Why guys weren`t meant to do extreme splits. (NSFW Language)
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