Monday Morning Mailbox For May 10 [Pics & More]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago in

The evening edition of the MMM. Give Fancy a break, he was hungover--doesn"t diminish the quality of the advice, right?
There are 125 comments:
Female 104
wait this is from last week and it`s monday has fancy just not woken up yet. I thought it was monday morning mailbox not monday midday.
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Female 635
i lol`d at the last one
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Male 12,138
Center, trolling this board is annoying, and pissing everyone off. But whatever. However posting a Mod`s name on the public IAB forums here from a private courtesy email to you is not annoying, that`s f*cking stupid.

Don`t, ever again. I`m serious about that.
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Male 214
BlankTom: "When i look at this board, and see all the responses to Center..."

I think it`s because he is the center of attention! HURRRRRR
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Male 144
@Pui only if you promise to apply it with your tongue. annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd
GAME OVER.
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Female 3,574
There there bb, it`s over now. Have some Preparation H for that butthurt.
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Male 2,549
Ooh, I didn`t notice this until now.
Thank you for the advice Fancylad...though I also appreciate Lionhart2`s suggestion to shoot before niceties have a chance of being made.

I must go about the rest of my day trying to solve the mystery of what you were doing with your hands (and this is why a good imagination can be a double bladed sword. o_O)

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Female 3,574
I hope Center starts commenting more often.

but he`ll be upset about this for at least a few days.
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Male 4,867
I wonder which mod the imaginary emails hes talking about came from.
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Female 1,199
LOL at the kangaroo one.

And Center706 needs to chill the drat out haha. Although I am pretty amused at his posts right now.
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Male 332
Haha my question got answered :) and whoa...that`s a lot. O.o
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Male 144
Sorry what was that, I can`t make out what you typed in between all the BAHHHH BAHHHH BAHHHING. Run along little sheepy, get back in your pen before I shave you and make a sweater.
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Female 3,574
Just keep back peddling. It`s amusing.
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Male 144
You really want to know why I`m still commenting?
I`m still commenting because a vast majority of you are too busy trying to suck Fancylady`s e-dick to realize this has all been a hilarious joke.

What the MMB didn`t show was the two following emails between myself and an IAB mod where I openly admit it was a joke.

So kiddies, take the sand out of your vaginas, unwad your panties, slowly remove Fancy`s tiny e-penis from your mouths and take a deep breath. It`s the internet, nothing is actually srs bsns on teh internets.
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Male 1,674
When i look at this board, and see all the responses to Center, I can`t help but think of all the mindless followers who will side with IAB no matter what. I always wondered how Hitler was able to get followers.... I don`t wonder about that anymore.
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Male 1,378
HURR DURR LOL MAGNETS
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Male 1,403
Great question, Pel.
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Male 906
lol at the last answer. wraps it up nicely
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Male 214
Sorry Center706, but i submitted the link with the "Awwwstralian" description. I`m truly sorry bro!
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Female 3,574
Center, if you really didn`t care about getting credit, why did you baw in the first place? If you really don`t care about what people think about you, why are you still here? It really doesn`t look like you don`t give two poos about any of us mouth breathers.

You`re just back peddling now. THAT is sad. If I were you, I would take the little shred of dignity you have left and stop commenting on this post.
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Male 4,867
sorry Center, let me rephrase that,
you use someones OS as an evaluation on if they`re allowed to make fun of your little tantrum. sad

"is your mental capacity so diminished" says the guy who made a big fuss when his "Awwwstralia" post was editted, nice one.

and if you REALLY dont care...why are you still here whining at everyone?
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Male 67
So, when me and my wife first got together, she used to love anal. She started liking it less and less over time. One night, we were stupidly drunk, and I decided I`d go for it. She told me yes, but she`d have to do the same to me.

Long story short, I`m not into anal sex anymore.
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Male 363
Jesus Christ, who gives a poo? If you don`t care what people say then ignore them and they`ll stop commenting.
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Male 4,290
Yeah, I use XP and GIMP. I`m a poor student, why would I waste the money on Photoshop when I can have the same functionality for free with GIMP?
And I`ve long learned the lesson never to adopt a new Windows operating system for at least a year, since that`s roughly how long it takes them to iron out the biggest errors after releasing it.
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Male 144
@dom Holy hell you`re daft. I`ve stated twice now, I`m not taking any of this seriously. What part of LOLSARCASM don`t you get? Not to mention the "I really don`t give a flying drat anymore?"

Is your mental capacity really so diminished that you can`t understand I don`t give two poos about any of you mouth breathers? Jesus Tapdancing Christ.

Excuse me for finding it funny that someone made "fun of me" and then openly stated he uses Windows XP and GIMP.
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Male 4,867
@Center706
you`re actually taking this seriously? Sad.
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Male 144
@Bob You use Windows XP and GIMP? Sad.
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Male 12,138
@bob... I lol`d.
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Female 895
tl;dr
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Male 4,290
You`re welcome. Although I didn`t properly credit you for the original email in question. Or fancylad for putting the layout together, or AutoMotivator for doing most of the actual work for me, or GIMP for letting me add the trademark, or my other community Playstuff for hosting the image, or Microsoft for Windows XP on which my PC runs, or...
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Male 144
@Almightybob Daww you made me a demotivational :D Thanks!

@ All you other dimwitted dratsticks that can`t grasp what has been posted/stated after the fact:

THNX 4 TEH INTERNETZ FAME, (LULZSARCASMWHUTS)THANKS FOR TEH AWSUMS HA8 YO. LOL UMAD MODS? SO ANGREH FOR TEH POSTS? SO STUPEED FOR TEH STEELZ. JUZ MOAR UNORIGINAL STUFFZ FROM TEH BIGGEST PLAGURIZIIING WEBZITEZ ON TEH INTARWEBZ. LOLAMBOREDMODSSUX.

There is that any better? Is the above paragraph a little more your style? Carry on being mental midgets, and I`ll keep loling at the hate. Thanks again!
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Female 3,598
Hemtroll- ME TOO!!! crazy i just always thought it meant he was a snazzy dresser.
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Male 56
i sympathise hemtroll,upuntill now i also thought it was fancyclad lol
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Male 535
Insufficient data, the world would explode.... Lmao.

Great post Fancy. Some of your responces were just downright hilarious.

Tips Hat to Fancy2dope
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Male 363
Up until just now I always read Fancy`s name as Fancyclad for some reason.
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Male 15,510
Monday Morning Anal Mailbox!
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Female 12
I <3 you fancylad :)
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Male 4,867
no davy i dont love `men`
the closest is primetimekinsmom, but she is technically still a woman
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Male 8,302
I`ve never done anal sex, but I was f*cked up the ass by the embezzling lying Jim Jones who ran the church school I worked for for years. Does that count?
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Male 1,674
> mischeif954
> you cant divide by 0 the limit of a number divided by a number that approaches 0 is infinity

Actually, the limit of a/x when x approahes 0 (when a does not equal zero) is undifined as well.

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Female 614
batmanners:
some girls can seriously get off from it. don`t know how, physically. different strokes, i guess. there`s ways to clean, and ways to make it not hurt the girl. what i don`t get is why guys don`t ease girls into it, instead of being like "i`m going to stick this huge rod in you, please??" instead of starting really small. cmon, common sense <3
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Male 4,012
Notallowed:

click here
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Male 4,004
I really don`t see why so many guys` main focus with a chick is to try and stick it in her pooper. I, personally, would never want anyone or anything up my arse. I don`t see why a girl would either. I`m aware there are many ways to make it a sanitary activity, but unless the girl doesn`t eat....it will always be producing poop, and thereby also creating odor.

I`m curious about the sensation of it, but if the girl is in pain, or just not loving it, at all, I don`t see why I would do it.

I`d be much much much more interested in 2 girls at the same time than anal.
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Male 3,285
oh look. fancylad thinks he;s maddox now /facedesk
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Male 4,012
[What is your guilty pleasure?
Ans: Anal Sex[/quote]

It`s likely that Fancylad has something else in his mind, but I`d like to keep in my head my own version of it.
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Male 4,290
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Female 23
I gave anal a try. It`s suprisingly awesome.
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Male 9,305
Anal sex is awesome, once you get it down right. If you can hit the sweet spot you`ll wonder why you didn`t try it before.

Yes guys, you have a g-spot, and the only way to find it is to poke it from inside your anus. Straight guys can have anal sex too from their girlfriends. It`s called a strap-on.
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Male 12,138
feiku, I applaud your willingness to try it.

I tried seal-flipper pie last week (not an obscure euphamism- I mean a goddam pie made from knuckles of harp seals, standard fare here in northeastern Canada). Yep, it was f*cking rank. Still, at least I gave it a go, that`s what it`s all about. If you don`t like it, then fair enough, that`s your preference. I don`t think I`d like taking it up the arse either. Fair play.

*thinks about commenting on Christian right-wing conservatives take on homosexuality, but decides he`s too mellow right now. Another time.*
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Female 525
Hey, you know, I gave anal a try. I really did. I was sorta seeing a guy who was super into it and I allowed myself to experiment with it. Even after doing it several times, I hated it. Even after you get past the pain, it just makes me feel like I`m pooping. That`s all. And I don`t like associate sex with emptying my bowels. So no more anal for me.
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Male 295
Whats with the focus on anal sex? lol

Fancy you hilarious
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Male 295
Another way to deny a handshake is the ever pleasing "I have explosive diarrhea" technique, trust me, they will not touch you ;-)
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Male 12,138
[quote]man....i love MMM[/quote]
I think what you meant to say was "MMM....i love men".
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Male 4,867
man....i love MMM
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Male 12,138
[quote]a better question for Fancy, how many of those 3522210 accounts are Not spambots?[/quote]
I can help answer that. Just checked, there are currently 1541 banned members, mainly for spam. You do the math...
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Male 2,238
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Male 2,238
[quote]Couldn`t you IP ban them or something?[/quote]
Spambots are (from what I understand) bits of code which automatically make accounts and therefore can spam many threads at once. They have cycled IP addresses, so you ban one IP and the little bastards just change it. That being said, I think their average time up is around 5 minutes. We don`t do too badly.

And yeah, if you want Pel`s site, think about the Things They Didn`t Tell You.
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Female 526
btw, how is the IAB facebook page called? i can`t seem to find it..
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Female 526
a better question for Fancy, how many of those 3522210 accounts are Not spambots?
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Female 1,112
anal sex is never a guilty pleasure Fancy.....never.
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Female 7,994
Actually Davy- whiskey not beer. Then we would have the debate , the fight, and the slightly porny stuff in that order. Much better viewing!
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Male 8,302
> mischeif954
> you cant divide by 0 the limit of a number divided by a number that approaches 0 is infinity

Technically correct, however in elementary arithmetic terms, division is proved using multiplication: multiply the quotient by the divisor to get the original number. No number multiplied by zero will produce a product other than zero. In order to satisfy division by zero, the quotient must be bigger than all other numbers, i.e. infinity.

Of course, there are problems there because no matter how high you go, you STILL won`t find a number which will produce a non-zero answer, hence the usual definition of "Undefinable".
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Female 536
I like the origin story of Fancylad :-)
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Male 12,138
Lionhart, change Peluso`s frankly retarded suggestion of two gallons of water to two gallons of beer, and we got us a date, brother!

(I mean, really. Who the f*ck would think of locking up an Aussie and and Irishman with only WATER to drink! Surely that`s against the Geneva Convention!)
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Female 238
i enjoyed this! :)
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Male 656
OOOOOH! Lion just called out Davy!
Where`s the debate?!?!?!
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Male 764
@ Lion heart I hate being a nit picker but you cant divide by 0 the limit of a number divided by a number that approaches 0 is infinity.
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Male 8,302
> DarkFerret
> hehe, sooo, with Davy and Lion in a room, i think they could divide by zero.

Thanks mate!! You DO realize that dividing by zero produces Infinity? I mean I admit that both Davy and I have high IQ`s, but really... such flattery...
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Male 1,347
Wait, tho i`m sure it`s already been asked, is the guilty pleasure in the giving or the receiving?
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Male 25,417
yay!
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Male 2,748
hehe, sooo, with Davy and Lion in a room, i think they could divide by zero.
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Male 3,819
Technically I`m gonna have to be right behind you Lion...

TWSS
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Male 8,302
> peloos12
> This is i-am-bored, not I-Don`t-Have-a-Life

Oh drat, I`m in the wrong place! Later guys...
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Male 1,674
I love how Fancy Resurrected the whole Center thing, and even Center himself just said it was no big deal, yet the majority of people are trashing him for "making a big deal" (including mods).
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Male 3,819
This would also be a fantastic time to plug my website. Which is mostly non-quickie content. I won`t be a hypocrite and spam, so if you`re interested you can use your imagination to find it yourself.
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Male 3,819
RE: Pictures

I love the pictures. This is i-am-bored, not I-Don`t-Have-a-Life-Please-Save-Me. If you have enough free time that you want it filled with videos, articles, and games, maybe you should consider going outside or something. Or if you`re allergic to the sun, an actual movie.

My point is that you shouldn`t be so damn dependent on us and 99% of our visitors aren`t so... if you hate the quickie content you`re SOL.
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Male 8,302
Center706, who the f*ck cares? Really. Oooh ooh look at me I`m Important, I have my name on an internet post. Yep, that`ll go in the resume for sure!

You know what I do when someone says "Hey, I submitted that too" on a post of mine? I change it to their name, because I don`t give a flying f*ck whose name is on there, as long as its there so everyone can enjoy it.
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Male 1,222
What was wrong with the picture of the girl in the mirror of april 24th???
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Female 3,574
Center, why do you need credit? Who cares? Isn`t it nice enough that someone thought your comment was cute/clever enough to be in the caption?
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Male 166
@Center706 I really don`t understand the point in bringing up the issue. if you are that insecure with what you type maybe you should get it copyrighted... just a though.
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Female 3,574
lol I like how you ended with my question very simply :P
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Male 1,853
I think IAB would be fine with only 3522209 people, Center. It`s not like you`re a huge drating deal here or anything. And the internet is the internet. Do you think IAB creates [quote]any[/quote] OC?

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Male 774
Dear Fancy,

Do people actually sit on the computer all day and fill out those create an account forms to spam these threads? Couldn`t you IP ban them or something? I mean seriously, I doubt the get even 1 visitor.
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Male 3,819
Fancy 2 Dope and Violent J-Dog: Insane Bored Posse
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Male 3,327
Handshaking started as a way of proving you were unarmed. As you approached, you would hold your empty hand up to show the other person there was no weapon. This became waving. Then you would extend you arm, and you would each grasp the other persons forearm, holding it. This would enable you both to keep the other from getting their weapon out and attacking you with it. Over the years this evolved into the handshake we know today. I, for one, don`t think we use it enough. Their hands will more than likely be no more gross than your hands.
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Male 72
FAIL
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Male 144
@Fancy You missed my point completely.

Originally the caption said, "Aww of the day, Australian edition" After viewing the picture I posted the comment "Would you say this was Awwwwstrailian?". Then a minute or two later, someone edited the caption to say "Awwww of the Day: Awwwwstralian Edition."

Now while I do understand the possibility that it was a coincidence, I find it rather suspicious that the caption was edited after my post.

Had someone credited me for the quote, I wouldn`t give two flying drats. The fact your site rips off its members is pretty damn appalling especially since WE`RE the reason your website still exists.

Whatever, the time has passed and I really don`t care anymore. Thanks for the MMB post though, I appreciate the notoriety.
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Male 670
Here`s the original kangaroo thread.
Personally, I believe the theft, but I have little evidence nor any will to back that up.

Also, the link on the front page isn`t working. The number is 49384, but this article`s number is one more--49385.
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Female 1,682
These damn spambots. Where the f*ck are they coming from >_<
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Female 1,682
I loled @ "What is your guilty pleasure"
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Female 85
<--is in the 20%
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Male 5,189
So that`s where he got his name. Now I can sleep peacefully!
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Male 1,240
Lion: They`ve been around for so long now, that I can`t remember what IAB was like before. Seriously, I don`t remember.

The good think about the pics, though, is that when you`re at work and can`t be bothered to actually work, they`re easier to hide.
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Male 159
That`s a lot of accounts...and I agree, most aren`t even used.
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Male 10
Instead of a handshake/fistpound, I think that when going in for said fistpound one person should fake the other out and put two fingers up like a peace sign behind the other`s fist and yell out "SNAIL!".

Or better yet, fake out a high-five by hitting their palm with the underside of a thumbs up and yell out "TURKEY!"

I think it would completely revolutionize the greeting. Or we`d all go to the asylum... either way it`d be funny.
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Female 2,352
Its nice to see I`m not the only one that has had a slow/hungover day.
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Male 10,440
Like me!
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Male 8,302
Which is why we have all the funny pics instead of links now. Even though some/most of "The Regulars" bitch about them, 99.9% of the actual visitor total approves of them, based on the page hit stats.
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Male 8,302
> xxPinkxx
> Out of the 3.5 mil accounts, i bet only 1,000 of them are used regularly. and less than 5,000 have been logged into more than twice

Either trp or pel has all the Google Analystics data, I can`t remember which. But basically, there are around 8,000 "active" accounts at any one time I believe. There are over 2 million visitors per day, most of which don`t have accounts.
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Female 3,828
Out of the 3.5 mil accounts, i bet only 1,000 of them are used regularly. and less than 5,000 have been logged into more than twice. seems like its the same people commenting all the time.
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Female 356
It may be Monday...but it is in no way still morning...who am I kidding?! I woke up at 11...thanks for waiting, Fancylad!
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Male 1,674
@fancylad
"Frankly, I`d be too embarrassed to claim that hackneyed line. "

Is that why you deny stealing it? Hindsight is 20-20, huh?
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Male 4,807
Raisin_Hell... Wahhahahah 3:00-3:15

Thx for Funny
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Female 1,043
so many magical mysteries, yo...
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Male 277
P.S. it`s just a youtube clip, nothing bad.
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Male 277
In regards to the anal sex, I give you this.
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Male 8,302
Dear Peluso: No debate. Davy wouldn`t eat the fossil because he thinks its 150 kazillion years old, whereas I would recognize it as a chocolate bar from last week and NOT starve. He wouldn`t drink the water because he would think it didn`t exist and anyway you couldn`t build an ark that big, whereas I would drink it and survive. Also, Davy would believe the Bible was rubbish, and ignore it, whereas I would tear the pages out, light a fire with them, and be warm. Hey, I may be a Christian, but I ain`t no fool.

Yep, on retrospect, the only problem I would have in that room would be fending Davy off the whole time, since he admitted, yesterday, that he likes men`s asses. Don`t talk to me about context, Davy, after all the Bible verse debates we`ve had.

KAPOW! :-)
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Female 509
LMAO at Fancy`s response to Alikabul.
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Male 8,302
Dear Geogypsy: The custom of handshaking came about as a way of proving you were not holding any weapons. The simplest solution, therefore, is to shoot whomever wants to shake your hand immediately, thereby answering the question at the very beginning of the (admittedly short) relationship.

Dear Jim: I`m not sure what you could be doing wrong; the rest of IAB has no trouble at all getting your girlfriend to have sex with them.

Dear Centre706: Hey, kanga`s belong to us AUSSIES. Go find some other animal to help pass those cold, lonely nights with.

Dear CuddlyKitten: If he doesn`t deserve attention, then there is nothing in your email to read.

Dear Alikabul: When two magnets like each other really really much, they kiss in a special grown-up way and...
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Male 15,510
"3.5 Million accounts..... Thats friggen insanity"

Hey Fancy here is a question, what is the oldest registered user account?
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Male 15,510
I saw a person accusing Fancy to be a pedo on yourworldoftext the day that link was posted here like what, a month ago? is that person still going there to do the same thing? I dont find it hilarious, just plain lame
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Male 4,807
3.5 Million accounts..... Thats friggen insanity
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Male 4,807
"hackneyed"

Do people actually use that word anymore?

That will be my word for of the day tomorrow.

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Male 15,510
So if it wasent stolen, it was just a coincidence?
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Male 4,807
Angelmassb>> " That was a low move to steal the quote and not even give some proper credit to the original author"

Don`t get out much, do ya son?
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Male 20,825
Frankly, I`d be too embarrassed to claim that hackneyed line.

Awwwstralia? Ugh, it sends douche chills up my spine.
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Male 4,807
burgundyblu
"oh, and regarding anal: a whole lotta booze, foreplay and patience (in that order) is your best bet...imo. "

Sooo... thats Fancys secret.

I guess it is monday morning SOMEWHERE
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Male 20,825
NO ONE STOLE THAT LAME COMMENT.
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Male 15,510
I also remember the kangaroo one, the guy was one of the first comments on that link. That was a low move to steal the quote and not even give some proper credit to the original author
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Male 15,510
I wish MMM was more safe for work
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Female 21
oh, and regarding anal: a whole lotta booze, foreplay and patience (in that order) is your best bet...imo.
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Male 4,807
Ok.. you mentioned "anal sex" twice dude... whats up ?
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Female 21
Forget a handshake. Go for the power embrace:

Tim & Eric
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Male 1,674
I totally believe they ripped off the kangaroo comment thing. The people who work here don`t seem very clever (ex 50+55=100.)

Oh, and am i the only one who thinks the Bronco looks like it`s hovering?
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Male 20,825
Link: Monday Morning Mailbox For May 10 [Pics & More] [Rate Link] - The evening edition of the MMM. Give Fancy a break, he was hungover--doesn`t diminish the quality of the advice, right?
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