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Category: Funny
Date: 05/07/10 08:01 AM

62 Responses to How To Get Rid Of Those Pesky Tan Lines [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of Batmanners
    Batmanners Male 18-29
    4007 posts
    May 6, 2010 at 5:28 pm
    Link: How To Get Rid Of Those Pesky Tan Lines - Sick of those tans lines? The answer is here. Except for the 2 circles it leaves on each side. (slightly NSFW)
  2. Profile photo of Neoxide
    Neoxide Male 18-29
    30 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 6:14 am
    nsfw much?
  3. Profile photo of damokiwi
    damokiwi Male 40-49
    75 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 6:20 am
    It`s a cotton reel! And the french bit says it keeps your arse cheeks open whilst keeping your hands free! Ha!!
  4. Profile photo of skine
    skine Male 18-29
    719 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 6:36 am
    But then how do you explain the circular tan lines?
  5. Profile photo of Handsompod
    Handsompod Male 30-39
    1109 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 8:08 am
    Buttplug? You`re doing it wrong!
  6. Profile photo of fabarati
    fabarati Male 18-29
    1240 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 8:13 am
    That`s one way to do it.
  7. Profile photo of Apocalyptica
    Apocalyptica Male 18-29
    16 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 8:19 am
    Ooohhh god, the name of this thing in english would be golden crack.
  8. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 8:23 am
    France?
  9. Profile photo of Dragonlord
    Dragonlord Male 18-29
    734 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 8:57 am
    I hope that sorta thing doesn`t conduct heat well. O_O
  10. Profile photo of CmdrBittles
    CmdrBittles Female 18-29
    1173 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 9:07 am
    Or you could just spread your legs a little bit. :/
  11. Profile photo of Link364
    Link364 Male 18-29
    440 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 9:11 am
    What.The.Fcuk.
  12. Profile photo of mmurffs
    mmurffs Male 18-29
    46 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 9:21 am
    Smells like burnt a**hole in here!
  13. Profile photo of panth753
    panth753 Female 18-29
    9186 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 9:30 am
    Eye bleach for five bucks! Get it here! Five Dollars!
  14. Profile photo of zmeace
    zmeace Male 18-29
    807 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 9:37 am
    ew
  15. Profile photo of mluther
    mluther Male 13-17
    1023 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 9:38 am
    my eyes are burn`t. Why was there no "nsfw"
  16. Profile photo of riotDX
    riotDX Male 18-29
    600 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 9:43 am
    Is it just me or does that look like just a spool from some thread that was painted gold
  17. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12151 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 9:50 am
    I feel a Johnny Cash song coming on...
  18. Profile photo of ada_baby
    ada_baby Female 18-29
    282 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 9:52 am
    those french sure are thorough....
  19. Profile photo of bry27
    bry27 Male 30-39
    74 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 9:55 am
    thanks for the NSFW warning!
  20. Profile photo of mcfudge
    mcfudge Male 18-29
    537 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 9:56 am
    Someone with a spool in their ass... I shouldn`t be laughing, but I am.
  21. Profile photo of Zepher
    Zepher Female 18-29
    414 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 10:00 am
    roitDX thats exactly what it looks like
  22. Profile photo of fancylady
    fancylady Female 30-39
    864 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 10:03 am
    but doesn`t that block the sun from that spot and give you a weird tan line anyway?
  23. Profile photo of hairyshyt
    hairyshyt Male 30-39
    217 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 10:04 am
    It looks like a cotton reel
  24. Profile photo of duffytoler
    duffytoler Male 40-49
    5196 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 10:17 am
    New product idea: Get a small tanning light, put it in a wedge-shaped glass thing, call it... I dunno, "Crackin` Tan" or "Tannin` Crack" or something. On the shelf for $19.95, make a fortune.
  25. Profile photo of margot138
    margot138 Female 18-29
    322 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 10:24 am
    what are you going to do about the spots that don`t get tan from having that thing in your crack
  26. Profile photo of Tinkerbellio
    Tinkerbellio Female 18-29
    1001 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 10:30 am
    How to get rid of those pesky tan lines.. in the privacy of your own garden.
  27. Profile photo of robotobunneh
    robotobunneh Female 18-29
    265 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 10:31 am
    Or, you know, fake tan? XD
  28. Profile photo of KeePay
    KeePay Male 18-29
    494 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 10:41 am
    I just imagined getting an anal sunburn. The pain will not cease.
  29. Profile photo of Zerocyde
    Zerocyde Male 18-29
    3258 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 10:51 am
    People who tan are idiots who look like they just rolled around in dog poo.

    F*ck tans are gross.
  30. Profile photo of SirLunchalot
    SirLunchalot Male 30-39
    118 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 10:59 am
    "I just imagined getting an anal sunburn. The pain will not cease."

    Lol. Thanks for reminding me of the possibilities of getting an anal sunburn. That`s one thing I`ve actually never tought about:)
  31. Profile photo of xxPinkxx
    xxPinkxx Female 18-29
    3830 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 11:07 am
    @margot- i thought the same thing.:-)

    i figure you wouldnt use it all the time, and rotate the spot where it goes- at least the contrast between dark and light wont be quite so much.
  32. Profile photo of LandoGriffin
    LandoGriffin Male 30-39
    3844 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 11:14 am
    WTF - is there really someone out there who is upset because their butthole isn`t tan enough?
  33. Profile photo of Thetas
    Thetas Male 18-29
    1540 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 12:42 pm
    Is that... Just a spool painted bronze?
  34. Profile photo of deltaumarcus
    deltaumarcus Male 18-29
    1958 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 1:18 pm
    .... Do I see butthole hairs?
  35. Profile photo of dmattm
    dmattm Female 18-29
    59 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 1:34 pm
    it makes me glad im already naturally tan
  36. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25408 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 2:24 pm
    what, someone actually sat down and thought about this? wow!
  37. Profile photo of jendrian
    jendrian Male 18-29
    2516 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 2:43 pm
    I can`t believe people love looking orange, I have an idea, instead of doing all those horrible looking things like painting yourself orange or cooking yourself under the sun, why not just eat tons of carrots?, I guarantee you`ll look orange and as long as you continue the carrot ingestion you`ll continue looking orange.

    Why on earth would anybody want to look like that? ...
  38. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8309 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 2:59 pm
    > Thetas
    > Is that... Just a spool painted bronze?

    NOOOOO!!!! That would be worth like 2 cents!! THIS is the Amazing Raidoree, the wonder tool which gives you hands-free buttock separation so they can bask in the sun!
  39. Profile photo of Pheeshy5
    Pheeshy5 Male 18-29
    1312 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 3:26 pm
    @ deltaumarcus: Holy crap i think so! gross...
  40. Profile photo of sbeelz
    sbeelz Male 30-39
    2868 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 4:30 pm
    Great, so no I have a spool-shaped white spot between my cheeks!
  41. Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10722 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 5:03 pm
    Just imagine the horror on the faces of those passing by..... D:
  42. Profile photo of mvangild
    mvangild Male 30-39
    527 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 5:21 pm
    You know, there`s a reason WHY the sun doesn`t shine there.
  43. Profile photo of IssaTheFiend
    IssaTheFiend Female 18-29
    2354 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 6:03 pm
    You think a sunburn on your back is painful. .
  44. Profile photo of masterbob
    masterbob Male 13-17
    392 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 7:37 pm
    Only the French would...
  45. Profile photo of iKit5
    iKit5 Female 13-17
    355 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 8:07 pm
    Here`s a rough translation.
    "Bronze everywhere with Raidoree!
    Isolated-spank which makes it possible to gild the line by keeping the free hands"

    Fix up the grammar yourself. I`m too tired right now. :c
  46. Profile photo of jeepjones
    jeepjones Male 30-39
    554 posts
    May 7, 2010 at 8:25 pm
    It`s called a common sewing thread spool.
  47. Profile photo of D3rAnG3d
    D3rAnG3d Male 18-29
    1598 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 12:08 am
    If you have to jam a sewing thread spool in your ass crack to tan it, chances are that you were not meant to be that color :P
  48. Profile photo of Batmanners
    Batmanners Male 18-29
    4007 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 5:00 am
    Exact translation for everything on there goes as follows:

    "Bronze Everywhere, with RAIEDOREE (GOLDEN CRACK)"
    "The butt-cheek spreader that allows you to golden your ass crack while remaining hands-free."

    The two bottom lines I can`t read, but I love the "Protects the Ozone layer" logo on there...

    I assume it`s ozone safe as long as you don`t fart.
  49. Profile photo of pdjr
    pdjr Male 40-49
    298 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 8:14 am
    Is it not brown enough already?
  50. Profile photo of SomeShoes
    SomeShoes Male 13-17
    2056 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 8:32 am
    im pretty sure the penultimate line says comes in many models, and the last one says how it uses plastic or something without something else

    tada.
  51. Profile photo of Madluk
    Madluk Male 30-39
    44 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 9:26 am
    The Goatse used to be a popular tan. That`s where you can see tan lines shaped like your hands holding your cheeks open. I guess this device will replace that =(
  52. Profile photo of MountainBord
    MountainBord Female 18-29
    1894 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 9:36 am
    sstick a thimble in ur ass for only $19.99
  53. Profile photo of Powerenid
    Powerenid Female 18-29
    3 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 11:44 am
    Here are the two bottom lines:
    "Existe en plusieurs parfums"
    "Pas d`utilisation prolongée sans avis conjugal"
    I may try to translate...:
    "Available in several fragrances"
    "No extended use without conjugal view"
    !!!!
  54. Profile photo of RyanHake
    RyanHake Male 18-29
    2690 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 11:51 am
    R-O-F-L
  55. Profile photo of citizen_kane
    citizen_kane Male 18-29
    272 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 12:10 pm
    is it wrong that it made me gag for a wank?
  56. Profile photo of AmyNicoleduh
    AmyNicoleduh Female 18-29
    1158 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 1:32 pm
    why wouldn`t you just prop up your ass by tucking your knees under yourself? instant spreading.

    -shrug- works for me.
  57. Profile photo of HarryBalszak
    HarryBalszak Male 40-49
    1589 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 2:18 pm
    I`ve always wondered what to do with empty bobbins...
  58. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5607 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 3:09 pm
    So, wouldn`t you just end up with little round untanned spots on your cheeks?
  59. Profile photo of Kiwigirl2
    Kiwigirl2 Female 30-39
    1048 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 3:47 pm
    Hmmm - sunburnt buttcrack, pain on a whole new level! Mind you, it`s a great present for the spray tanorexic in your life - now every inch can be orange!
  60. Profile photo of ruy-guy
    ruy-guy Male 18-29
    230 posts
    May 8, 2010 at 8:57 pm
    i say its fake cuz the french used in it is extreamly slang
  61. Profile photo of coledawg1080
    coledawg1080 Male 18-29
    9 posts
    May 9, 2010 at 5:44 am
    they call that region "where the sun don`t shine" for a reason . . . and wouldn`t you get sand up there too?

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