Awesome 2-Handed Sword Sales Video

Submitted by: CrakrJak 7 years ago in Misc

It slices, It dices, It cuts through ... Well.. Everything
There are 134 comments:
Male 415
hmm... i`d like to see someone larp with that
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Male 725
Was that garbage can full of Listerine? Also, somebody should show this to the guys at PETA, I`m sure they`d thoroughly enjoy this video!
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Male 138
yeah, shure i`ll use that to defend my home against criminals with GUNS... stupid.
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Male 44
Im thinking the fat guy is liking that sword a little too much. In the middle of every sentence he says, he has to look at that Greatsword. Maybe its Frostmourne!!!
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Male 541
This just hit me!! I bet all the guys in this video has small dicks...
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Male 182
I NEED THIS!!!

For the coming zombie apocalypse, of course.
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Male 103
I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL HUNT DOWN THESE ADVERTISERS AND dratING EAT THEIR SOULS!
Anywho, pretty shweet sword, but I don`t know what the hell I`d do with it! Cut cheese?, Cut down branches?, Make people think I`m f`in crazy?
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Male 382
Anyone else craving some BBQ?
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Male 20
If it were really that great, it would`ve cut through the wood holding up the pigs head, the shoes were resting etc.

Even if it wasn`t wood (couldn`t really tell) they claimed it cuts through heavy steel.
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Male 1,226
Cold steel always makes advertisements like this. They make a lot of tactical stuff. I hate it, some people love it.
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Male 1,505
LMAO I was sold with the balloon popping.
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Male 17
you had me at
"it cuts a enormous flipin hole"
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Male 2,402
You can argue about all the types of swords that are better. However in a real fight. It`s the knowledge and experience of the user on which sword will be superior. I would bet on any Olympic Fencing team member vs. the clumsy ill footed demonstrators with a huge sword any day. Even if they were wearing full armor or Average Joe Blow running around with his Japanese Katana etc...
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Male 10,338
Actually, the average Katana is only about 28 inches from tip to butt.

Someone with equal training with this sword would be able to keep a katana user at distance.

An odachi however, 70 inches. Mainly a horseback sword, but longer than the great sword. Not a stabber, but it`s speed would give an equal a good advantage.
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Male 56
What makes this video awesome is the looks on their faces while they`re swinging in slow motion. :D
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Male 712
Cold Steel has made some pretty gnarly products and they`re durable as hell and can stand up to a lot of abuse. I had one of their walking sticks before I moved and that thing had been through hell in the year and a half that I owned it...still looked like the day I bought it.

I`ve pretty much been a fan of Cold Steel`s products for awhile. Not only do they make good collectables but they work as functional weapons.

I still would be hesitant to put that great sword up against a Shinwa Katana any old day of the week.

Then again, if you`re clanging swords together, expect the blades to get pitted and then the blades will break, I don`t care who makes `em.
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Male 3,915
i expected this to be some kind of "laugh at something stupid because they are trying to be so serious" and this happened at the whole balloon popping part....but otherwise...this sword is pretty epic....
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Male 2,788
Deep penetration.
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Male 294
@howlingwolf

Not a chance. If the sword in the video is even fairly well made, it would go quite badly for a katana. It`s not a matter of east/west fanboism. It`s a simple matter of mass and velocity.

I mean seriously, samurai armor was basically splint mail, which is leather, metal strips, and maybe wood depending on when it was made.
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Male 1,164
@howlingwolf

True, little can beat a well made Japanese katana, but even that wouldn`t be able to lop a greatsword in two. If you watched long enough, that sucker went right through chain mail. It`s called the Greatsword for a reason.
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Male 1,351
I started seeing and thought "Ok, a couple of weirdos like to cut stuff. Not bad"
Then they brought out a pig heads and I though "...Right then, insane weirdos."

As a side note, little can beat a well-made samurai sword, which would lop this pathetic chunk of metal in two.
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Male 29
@ILikeApples
ya i kind of had a WTF moment when he popped the balloon but then i laughed. you could pop a balloon with pretty much anything so it was really pointless to add that in.
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Male 1,091
Well that just sucked so much, black holes have nothing on it.
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Male 83
wow, I see the star wars kid got himself a company now... kudos my man, you`ve finally grown up.

I guess the y failed to mention that a small chunk is required to fully `appreciate` one of those `great` swords.

seriously?
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Male 50
go ahead and check out their site theyve got tonns of swords and a riddiculus video for each
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Male 47
I am now ready for the Zombie Apocalypse.

There can only be one!
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Male 503
was the balloon really necessary
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Male 5,094
When the plywood vikings attack, you`ll be sorry you didn`t buy one.
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Male 2,868
Also, I hope they ate all that meat they just hacked to bits.
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Male 2,868
"It`s an enormous advantage in any fight." Really? They should tell the US government that. I`m sure it`d do GREAT against RPGs, AK-47s, and IEDs.
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Male 3
So does everybody keep their meat in their boots or is it just them?
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Male 362
@Dead-Kittens
You do know that they`re all trained swordsmen, right? That`s how you wield a Zwei-Hander.
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Male 1,252
its a shame none of em know how to use a sword, otherwise theyd realize they got stabbed in the face by the time they finished drawing it back.
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Male 272
i meant "it"
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Male 272
i can even pop a balloon!
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Male 798
LOL after every demonstration..

"I`m supa manly with a supa huge sword and a SUPA short tie."
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Male 124
Nice sword, overkill on the demo. With any long sword, the only issue was you had to get the momentum to make it effective. The Scotts found out the hard way when their opponents simply fired their arrows to the ennemy on the left rather than straight on.
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Male 774
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Male 2,528
I guess it would be a great weapon if your enemies never fought back and gave you practice aims at them.
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Male 758
I lov-ed you Piggy, I LOV-ED YOU!!!
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Male 1,455
The zweihander (which is what that sword appears to be based on) was never used outside of a ceremonial role because it`s worthless as a weapon. An odd trophy.
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Male 275
man, that`s a rooster extension if I ever saw one
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Male 118
And it even pops balloons!
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Male 784
Send them to Guy Richie - make a movie.
Suggestions for titles, anyone?
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Male 274
I F*CKING WANT ONE
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Male 44
im sorry but, ...

`that`s what a great sword is all about, deep penetration`. ... You cannot be serious.
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Male 198
Don`t be fooled by this ad, the sword has a lvl.3 magical damage multiplier against pigs, that`s why it couldn`t cut through the cow head.
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Male 75
they really don`t like pigs, do they?
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Male 2,402
Well the cool factor of throwing it through the hood of a car was pretty awesome. It even negated the clumsy footwork and the windup of the cutting by the sales staff. You would think guys into making swords would be good at handling them.
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Male 247
Swords are awesome.
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Male 500
"iplaymusic
Male, 13-17, Eastern US
205 Posts Saturday, May 22, 2010 7:43:04 PM
This is what the world would belike with out guns"

Not far off the truth actually - the street gangs in the UK carry knives if they can`t get their hands on a gun. This is much better as you can see them coming and there is less crossfire (although you do still get a few drive-by shootings a year, and we have lost some young innocent kids to crossfire)- only other gang members tend to get stabbed as it`s hard to stab the wrong person by accident so that`s better if hardly ideal. If they were to arm the street-gangs of Europe with hardened steel swords though, I`d probably start wearing armour.
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Male 500
Always handy in case of oversize hog roasts or long bus queues. Other than that can`t see much use for it other than the amusing accidental auto-decapitation of sad wannabees swinging it around in their bedrooms like that light saber kid.
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Male 58
Why are men so silly?
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Male 10
ima get one SON!
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Male 17,512
Wow, Didn`t expect so much debate over swords. :-)
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Male 2
that sword you probably would need to sharpen it after all that, a vintage katana,,,,no, and Id bet any amount of money it wouldnt pass the silk drop test.
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Male 1,540
"A vintage Katana would cut that sword in half"

Doubt it.
Anyways, the reason they used swords like this instead of katanas in the west is because of its size and weight. The idea was that you had people walking around in suits made out of a heavy alloy, and swords like this would crush the suit and destroy limbs, making them completely useless in combat, thus immobilizing enemies.
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Male 661
"No-one is going to take advantage of you with a greatsword in your house..."

Yeah, unless they have a gun.
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Male 47
A vintage Katana would cut that sword in half
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Male 373
can you even swing that thing in your house?
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Male 71
lol this is good for my butcher
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Male 3,296
ok so the sword us awesome, but what the fu ck for???
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Female 247
That would have to be the worse sales job to have. EVER!
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Male 126
`heavy steal`? thats a hood. which is really light steel. and who needs a sword these days. id like to see how well he can take on a gunner from a distance.
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Male 10,338
"this is why you buy a samuri sword. its almost as long, sharper, and faster. ftw lol"

Actually, the average Katana is only about 28 inches from tip to butt.

Someone with equal training with this sword would be able to keep a katana user at distance.

An odachi however, 70 inches. Mainly a horseback sword, but longer than the great sword. Not a stabber, but it`s speed would give an equal a good advantage.
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Male 363
Man they really hate pigs.
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Male 503
this is why you buy a samuri sword. its almost as long, sharper, and faster. ftw lol
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Male 12,365
[quote]errr so why would you actually need a sword nowadays?[/quote]

To make burglars think you`re a nutjob. A gun is more efficient, but a sword is more primally frightening. The excessive size of this sword might help for that.

I`m scraping the barrel with that reason. It`s pretty much useless, really.
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Male 207
No pigs were harmed in the making of this pathetic video. NOT!
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Male 346
@ Seastone
Imagine yourself robbing someones home, now imagine that the owner is running at your with a great sword. Commence pooting yourself.

In all seriousness though, they are collector`s items.
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Male 663
damn they make a scottish dirk that i would actually buy
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Female 247
Where/when are you living that you need to buy a great sword?!!
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Female 612
So... does anyone know why you might ever need this? Even the people into creative anachronism only use blunt swords, as their intention is not actually to kill each other. And in self-defense, a gun is much more practical. Until battling to the death becomes a legally acceptable way to end an argument again, this would really serve no purpose than to look cool on the wall, and a decorative sword would do that job better anyways.
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Male 60
bacon anyone?
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Male 645
why does this crap advertisement videos keep ending up on here?
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Male 292
This is what the world would belike with out guns.
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Male 451
still cool to see what warriors of the past could do damage wise. up close and personal too. Wonder if the had post traumatic stress system after splitting someone`s head open like he did that pig.
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Male 3,482
[quote]I would imagine a true ninja (such as myself) would be able to cut through that pig like butter.[/quote]

A True ninja wouldn`t need the sword. He`d just cut the the pig`s head like butter with his BARE NINJA HANDS, which are shaper than any blade.

Because that`s part of being a ninja.
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Male 3,482
Maybe the point is that "HEY! This fat guy can use it, SO CAN YOU!"
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Male 352
Why would anyone even need a greatsword in the first place? A shiv is a lot more practical in everyday fights, either that or a gun. You can`t carry it with you wherever you go anyways, so it`s only if someone shows up at your house and gives you ample time to go get it.
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Female 843
"The Great Knife" needs a cooler name

I hope they did something productive with all that meat, even if it was just turned into dog food.
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Male 120
I don`t know...I hat to sound like a Negative Nancy, but I would of thought that sword would be more impressive... I would imagine a true ninja (such as myself) would be able to cut through that pig like butter. I guess Hollywood just has me deluded.
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Male 349
My image for people who like knives and swords is men wearing shirts with flames on and the dungeons and dragons kid who may or may not also fall into being a goth, not because they actually like the music, but because they like the image of being an outsider, when in reality goths are just an excuse for ugly people to pretend they are being ugly on purpose. Chopping the toes off was cool though, looked like a quality B-movie special effect.
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Male 59
errr so why would you actually need a sword nowadays?
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Male 535
Coldsteel actually makes some awesome weapons. I have a few knives from them.

I don`t think they`ll let you on an airplane with this though. so um yeah.

and pistolknife is awesome tom-brady. Good luck next year, maybe pistolknife may help the Pats win ;)
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Male 59
sadpanda1990
Male, 18-29, Europe
7 Posts Saturday, May 22, 2010 4:57:56 PM
30,000 children a day die of starvation or malnutrition related diseases and these guys are just cutting up meat as if it grows on trees.

Not trees sadpanda, farms...
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Male 59
But it begs the question "will it blend?"
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Male 15
I`m not going to lie, I don`t care much for the design of it (should have just made a Claymore) but to say that this is a sub-par sword, is just plain retarded. Honestly, if I had the spare cash, yeah, I might get one. I`m impressed.
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Male 144
Meat stuffed cowboy boots?
3:18 = I Love that ching.
Really?
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Male 295
For everyone who thinks that guns are better, lets compromise.
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Male 39,614
I didn`t see him even attempt to cut tomatos evenly so what good is it.

I`ll stick with my ginsu kitchen knife for the time being.
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Male 197
I guess if you`re going to bring a sword to a gun fight... you might as well bring a reallly big sword
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Male 165
[quote] 1:12 holy crap! it cuts through pencils? [/quote]

copper pipe
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Female 138
Cutting the shoes with the meat in it was unexpected (it made me cringe a bit).
But very awesome sword.
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Male 1,403
I was not in anyway impressed by the balloon popping.
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Male 3,255
"Aren`t swords and knives just for socially inept people?"

Why would you have to be socially inept to be interested by medieval weaponry?
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Male 3,255
That`s pretty cool. Wouldn`t mind having that drater.
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Male 633
"no one is gonna be able to take advantage of you etc etc cause of this sword"
unless they have a gun, of course lol.
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Male 56
30,000 children a day die of starvation or malnutrition related diseases and these guys are just cutting up meat as if it grows on trees.
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Male 214
1:12 holy crap! it cuts through pencils?
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Male 2,229
Angilion, :-> You can only shoot what ya can see, everything else will get ya
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Male 3,327
"$549.99 Worth it? Probably."

About half what I would have guessed.

Also, did that presenter remind anyone else of this?
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Male 10,440
Does it have any practical use outside of decapitation?
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Male 165
i surprisingly enjoyed that....and now im craving pork...
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Male 7,378
$549.99 Worth it? Probably.
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I dunno. You can get a Katana Samurai for under $300.00
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Male 12,365
[quote]when the smaller Asian guy was holding himself up with the sword it bent quite a bit, [/quote]

Yes, but a good blade will bend and return to straight. I wonder if this one did. If it did, why didn`t they show it?
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Male 14
http://www.coldsteel.com/twohandedgreat.html $549.99 Worth it? Probably.
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Male 12,365
[quote]That would come in handy if we lived in the Renaissance.[/quote]

I don`t think it would even then. Too big, too slow. In the days when people did fight with swords, it was almost always smaller ones. You might be able to cut someone in half with this sword, but not if they`ve already stabbed their sword through your torso that you`ve left open on the backswing of this thing.

Maybe if you were fighting someone in platemail...
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Male 46
when the smaller Asian guy was holding himself up with the sword it bent quite a bit, i wonder what would of happened if the original fat dude did it. that`s most likely why they had that Asian dude fill in for the minor part of the infomercial.
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Male 12,365
Awful presenter. Or maybe not - maybe podgy unfit (did you hear him breathing at the end?) men who aren`t skilled with a sword are their intended market.

One thing struck me - they did not show the sword after the guy had down pull-ups with it. That makes me wonder if it bent.

He asks what can beat it. Simple. A gun. The sword has reach and penetration for a sword, but it`s hardly going to compare with that of a gun. If it did, we`d be equipping soldiers with greatswords today.
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Male 7,378
That would come in handy if we lived in the Renaissance.
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Male 141
Did I just watch 10 minutes of fat men cutting things.. I`m not in a proud part of my life right now
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Female 131
I WANT ONE SOOOO BAD!!
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Male 1,523
Those pig slaying scenes hurt...
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Female 682
@oscola swords and knives are freakin` art man. you never actually fight with them unless you are a performer/trainer for performers. swords=sexy! :D
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Male 594
That fat, old guy should not be the one presenting this. It makes the entire thing seemingly less cool.
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Female 8,043
nice dungeon!
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Male 699
freaking scary when it cut through the rope
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Male 3,285
Did he just call a car hood, "heavy steel"?
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Male 349
Aren`t swords and knives just for socially inept people?
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Female 19
"How much poo will our office let us destroy with this sword me just made?" "I dunno, let`s go steal a bunch of dead pigs from a butchershop" "Okay!"
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Male 25,417
Never take a sword to a gun fight :)
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Male 27
gief!!!!
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Male 217
Their swords and knives are as good as shown I own a couple of them, the UWK and Ti-lite are my favorite out of their collection.
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Male 3,285
They should have got someone who actually knows how to weild a sword to advertise it.
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Male 928
If you want a real sword order a hand forged katana from Japan because they still make em the old skool way down there and they hold a great deal of value as compared to a mass produced junker like these guys are advertising. It takes over 1 month just to create the katanas I am talking about and they are 1 of a kind when finished so if your actually serious about collecting spend the cash and do it right.

Bet you could pick up one these great swords at any one of those blade shows where they sell all the cheap replica junk for way more than it`s worth...
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Female 864
Wonder if this is what A1Butcher uses to cut his beef.
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Male 57
An enormous flippin hole! I didnt think I was going to like this video as much as I did. I could have gone without the beheadings but everything else was sweet.
Best part was the popping of the balloon
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Male 349
Swords: For the geek AND the loser within you.
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Male 690
Wat a nerdlinger
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Male 7,817
yes, its heavy and sharp, it will cut through damn near everything. the problem here though, is that people dont buy swords for their cutting power or potential in battle anymore. well, because nobody battles with swords anymore. to sell a sword just show how cool it looks, which this one doesnt really. ill stick with my blades, i dont think ill be adding this to my collection anytime soon.
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Male 15,510
Perfect for butchers
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Female 3,574
I NEED ONE
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Male 17,512
Link: Awesome 2-Handed Sword Sales Video [Rate Link] - It slices, It dices, It cuts through ... Well.. Everything
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