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[Total: 28    Average: 3.8/5]
39 Comments - View/Add
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Rating: 3.8
Category: Weird
Date: 05/17/10 02:06 PM

39 Responses to 10 Bizarre Biblical Tales

  1. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7473 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 2:10 pm
    Link: 10 Bizarre Biblical Tales - Maybe we should read through the bible again, we always forget these golden moments.
  2. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10441 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 2:23 pm
    I call fake on all 10.
  3. Profile photo of outdoorMINER
    outdoorMINER Female 18-29
    934 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 2:27 pm
    This is why the bible is so entertaining.
  4. Profile photo of belunan
    belunan Male 30-39
    1507 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 2:28 pm
    Good list, but I was surprised they missed the one about Lot`s two daughters getting him drunk and raping him (Gen. 19:31).

    I guess on the 1 to 10 scale of weird poo in the Bible, it really just isn`t all that odd.
  5. Profile photo of Zerocyde
    Zerocyde Male 18-29
    3256 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 2:38 pm
    Is #7 about Lot in sodom?
  6. Profile photo of Zerocyde
    Zerocyde Male 18-29
    3256 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 2:41 pm
    I love the authors descriptions!

    "God, clearly freaked out by this woman, backs off and Moses is saved."

    I just picture god all "whoa, lady, nevermind then..."

    "Annoyed, Jesus demands the fig tree bear him fruit, however the fig tree doesn’t respond (it’s a tree),"

    rofl.
  7. Profile photo of auburnjunky
    auburnjunky Male 30-39
    10339 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 2:45 pm
    Nope. Not fake.

    People were freaky back then.

    Imagine what people will think of us in 2000 years!
  8. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17514 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 3:14 pm
    The author has a lot of these stories mixed up, Misinterpreted, And generally wrong.

  9. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7473 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 3:19 pm
    lazyme and crakrjak, no, not fake. i actually dusted off my bible and checked each one to see if they were factual. yes, they were.
  10. Profile photo of bankvole
    bankvole Male 30-39
    959 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 3:46 pm
    Crackrjak, please feel free to enlighten us all. Or, no, wait, was the bible written by uneducated village elders 2000-4000 years ago in efforts to keep their extraordinarily stupid people in line, with myths about a great astral pixie, who would punish them for their wrong doings?
  11. Profile photo of almightybob1
    almightybob1 Male 18-29
    4290 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 3:54 pm
    "I call fake on all 10."

    Well since it takes all of 30 seconds to check them using an an online Bible, you won`t need to remain misinformed for long.

    Note that some naming conventions differ - sometimes 1 and 2 Kings are called 1 and 2 Samuel, with 3 and 4 Kings becoming 1 and 2. So the first reference, 4 Kings 2:23-24, is actually 2 Kings 2:23-24 in that online Bible.
  12. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7473 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 3:58 pm
    wow, this is getting a pretty low score. ouch, i guess some people do not like when these kind of stories are pointed out. who would have thought?
  13. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 4:06 pm
    ok!
  14. Profile photo of Pooptart19
    Pooptart19 Male 18-29
    2441 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 4:24 pm
    The author has a lot of these stories mixed up, Misinterpreted, And generally wrong.
    Isn`t it always funny how Christians scream "Misinterpretation!" when it`s parts that make the Bible look f*cking crazy, yet have no problem when it comes to trying to make Jesus look divine?

    "Well I guess the part about Jesus being the son of God is just misinterpreted too."

    "No no. Jesus really is. No misunderstanding there."

    *facepalm*
  15. Profile photo of moefreak
    moefreak Female 18-29
    1963 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 4:32 pm
    CrakrJak, seriously? As Barack Obama would say, "Folks haven`t been reading their Bibles.".

    I guess you`ve only read the parts that are cohesive with your beliefs.
  16. Profile photo of msieg007
    msieg007 Male 18-29
    2035 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 4:32 pm
    @cobrakiller: Either that or the link is actually boring as hell. I`m going with the latter
  17. Profile photo of madest
    madest Male 40-49
    7378 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 4:38 pm
    Even those most devout know there`s only one commandment that`s against the law.
  18. Profile photo of bored-am-I
    bored-am-I Male 30-39
    785 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 4:41 pm
    ...and don`t mock the balled. We are just one step ahead of you monkeys! lol
  19. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 4:44 pm
    That guy God has such a wicked mind
  20. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 4:47 pm
    "The author has a lot of these stories mixed up, Misinterpreted, And generally wrong."

    Lol, the more truethis gets
  21. Profile photo of Peakk
    Peakk Male 13-17
    1 post
    May 17, 2010 at 4:50 pm
    ahem, pooptart, i looked at the links to the scriptures and it really was changed a lot. And your ex was stupid because you cant misinterpret that the bible says that Jesus is the Son of God.
  22. Profile photo of Pooptart19
    Pooptart19 Male 18-29
    2441 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 4:58 pm
    ahem, pooptart, i looked at the links to the scriptures and it really was changed a lot. And your ex was stupid because you cant misinterpret that the bible says that Jesus is the Son of God.
    Peakk, I hear your mother calling. You`d better head home before you get grounded and sent to your room.
  23. Profile photo of Salted_Eggs
    Salted_Eggs Male 18-29
    774 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 5:35 pm
    I`ve said it before I`ll say it again... Religion is WEEEEIRD.
  24. Profile photo of pui
    pui Female 18-29
    3574 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 6:57 pm
    I agree with Crackr. Many of these stories are misinterpreted. I suggest people read them for themselves.
  25. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7473 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 7:20 pm
    mseig, i dont know how this is boring, unless you cant read that is. or is it that if its not funny, its not interesting to you?

    pui, i did go and read these before i posted it. all of his descriptions mesh pretty well with what i read in my "good book".
  26. Profile photo of doinurmom
    doinurmom Female 18-29
    62 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 7:20 pm
    pooptart- i lol`d hardcore at your comeback ;)
  27. Profile photo of music4jenn
    music4jenn Female 18-29
    5 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 7:36 pm
    MAN, I can`t believe no one has mentioned Ezekiel 23!! Especially verse 20 D:

    There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. NIV
  28. Profile photo of pui
    pui Female 18-29
    3574 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 7:36 pm
    Most of the stories are relatively accurately described, but some parts and the underlining meanings are left out in the article.

    For instance, their interpretation of Jesus and the fig tree completely misses the point (mostly because they leave out the end of the story).
  29. Profile photo of johnnyab
    johnnyab Male 18-29
    68 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 8:47 pm
    out of genuine curiosity, what is the point of the story of Jesus and the fig tree?
  30. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 10:40 pm
    10 - Don`t mock your elders or God will destroy you in a painful way.

    9 - Treat your servants with respect and don`t be so prideful that you can`t ask for help.

    8 - See Monty Python`s Meaning of Life, Chapter: "Miracle of Birth Part 2: The Third World"

    7 - The vilification of a religion competing with Judaism. It was sex based. The beginning of the "Lot`s Cave" story is about the same alternate religion.

    6 - Don`t make crazy bets over serious shi#. You may come up a crazy ass-hole with hero`s luck.

    5 - Don`t start a religion. That crap will become so out-of-control that your wife will chop off half of your son`s [email protected] over a lightning storm.

    4 - "Effing answer me or I will EFF YOU UP!!!"

    3 - "For you, my ass is as good as my face..."

    2 - Even an ass knows more than you, you ass!

    1 - Your kid looks like your neighbor because your wife looked out the window...
  31. Profile photo of Mantolwen
    Mantolwen Female 18-29
    387 posts
    May 17, 2010 at 11:58 pm
    "Most of the stories are relatively accurately described, but some parts and the underlining meanings are left out in the article.

    For instance, their interpretation of Jesus and the fig tree completely misses the point (mostly because they leave out the end of the story)."

    That`s what I was gonna say! Oh, and the fig tree wasn`t even in season, so it couldn`t have produced fruit.

    Some of these stories don`t have a `moral message`. They`re supposed to be telling us about what people actually do, and how disgusting and perverted we all are. Including me.
  32. Profile photo of ruthless1990
    ruthless1990 Female 18-29
    3001 posts
    May 18, 2010 at 5:08 am
    a lot of these stories make sense when in context. though i was not aware of number 7...

    but for example number 6 was to try and get David killed, cause Saul hates David. He sends him to go get 100 enemy forskins, thinking that if David does this the enemy will obvs not appreaciate it and kill him. but Daves a good killer...dont test him
  33. Profile photo of pui
    pui Female 18-29
    3574 posts
    May 18, 2010 at 5:58 am
    Have you heard the story of Jesus flipping tables because people had turned a temple into a mini mall? (Mark 11:15-1) Jesus cursed the fig tree while He and his disciples were headed into Jerusalem on their way to that temple.

    When you read the whole passage (Mark 11:12-22) you can tell that the curse on the fig tree is meant to symbolize a larger problem concerning spirituality. To put it extremely simply Jesus cursed the tree for representing a spiritual "fruitlessness" in the nation. I`m sure if you Googled it you could find many articles that have analysed these passages in detail.
  34. Profile photo of Painter13
    Painter13 Male 40-49
    1366 posts
    May 18, 2010 at 6:36 am
    And on the first minute of the first day of self awareness, man created god to explain what he could not ,..and it was easy.
  35. Profile photo of panth753
    panth753 Female 18-29
    9253 posts
    May 18, 2010 at 7:36 am
    I always enjoyed #9 because I am also left handed.
  36. Profile photo of McDuff73
    McDuff73 Male 30-39
    870 posts
    May 18, 2010 at 8:28 am
    awww have I missed the huge religious flame war already? damn.
  37. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    May 18, 2010 at 1:16 pm
    silly
  38. Profile photo of Mariris
    Mariris Female 18-29
    4 posts
    May 18, 2010 at 5:55 pm
    The vast majority of these scripture references are totally incorrect >.<
  39. Profile photo of bmh
    bmh Female 18-29
    248 posts
    May 18, 2010 at 5:58 pm
    Want to know the strangest Bible story?

    People actually believe in it.

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