Yahoo! Answers The Cucumber Question [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago in Weird

Yahoo! Answers? Cucumbers? OK, I-A-B, where do you think this one"s going?
There are 128 comments:
Male 602
Seriously an 11 year old girl can take a whole cucumber? What is this world coming to? Shouldn`t that hurt someone so young and (presumably) petite? Maybe she started with carrots and worked her way up? And...mom started working the cucumber at 13?

The entire family has a great career in the porn industry.
0
Reply
Male 203
O.o
Ew and Lol.
0
Reply
Female 467
this is sick.
that would be called child abuse mother
0
Reply
Male 3,619
@T-Marley
cucumbers comes in sizes smaller than carrots... you are overthinking this
0
Reply
Male 602
Seriously an 11 year old girl can take a whole cucumber? What is this world coming to? Shouldn`t that hurt someone so young and (presumably) petite? Maybe she started with carrots and worked her way up? And...mom started working the cucumber at 13?

The entire family has a great career in the porn industry.
0
Reply
Male 14
effective answer
0
Reply
Male 159
marrow
0
Reply
Male 5,626
mithraela, I am highly offended by your post!

No one uses summer squash after mini-cucumbers.
They go straight to carrots then, daikon radish!
0
Reply
Female 535
So how are they supposed to phuck themselves if they stop buying cucumbers? That`s just plain horrible advice, if not blatantly ignorant. Maybe they`ve graduated to summer squash. Slightly more complex than the cucumber. You have to remember to start with the small end, and that can be confusing.
0
Reply
Female 1,199
How is cucumber babby born?
0
Reply
Male 2,056
im reminded of this Video
0
Reply
Male 5,194
Yet another troll post from another site re-posted as a troll post on THIS site.
0
Reply
Female 65
Is this implying that they will eat that cucumber after?
0
Reply
Male 3,915
lol...looks like someone is going to be into black men....or produce...
0
Reply
Female 2,352
Nice answer.

Really f*cking gross though. XD
0
Reply
Female 108
wow umm... kudos to mom for being VERY supportive
0
Reply
Female 654
i got a pickle hey hey hey hey

lol, sorry the little rascals was the very first thing i thought of
0
Reply
Female 282
also: she`s not going to have a whole lot of fun when she gets older and has an actual partner instead of a cucumber. she`ll have like this huge black hole thats gonna suck in everything within a five mile radius!
0
Reply
Female 282
How does an 11 year old fit a cucumber up her....oh gosh. Mental images. EWWWWWW
0
Reply
Male 2,690
Probably fake, but love the answer
0
Reply
Male 602
Seriously an 11 year old girl can take a whole cucumber? What is this world coming to? Shouldn`t that hurt someone so young and (presumably) petite? Maybe she started with carrots and worked her way up? And...mom started working the cucumber at 13?

The entire family has a great career in the porn industry.
0
Reply
Male 423
RotBottom. No.
0
Reply
Female 1,264
Beacuse answering "get her a vibrator" would have sounded too pedo.
0
Reply
Male 100
mmm 11 year old cucumbers..
0
Reply
Female 1,043
O_O
0
Reply
Male 212
@nokirarr
Yes, I agree that it is completely natural, but to post something like that on a website about an 11 year old kid is somewhat disconcerting, to me at least. Nonetheless, the answer given, which is the entire reason for this post, was hilarious.
0
Reply
Male 124
Better start throwing some chlorine pucks in that gene pool.
0
Reply
Male 255
..and the top answer was `stop buying cucumbers`. Wow, you really get good avice on YA
0
Reply
Female 332
KEEP BACTERIA AWAY FROM THE CUCUMBER?!?! YOU`RE STILL GOING TO EAT IT AFTER KNOOOWING IT WAS IN YOUR DAUGHTER`S COOCH!??!?!
0
Reply
Male 90
What are you guys 10 or something? It`s completely natural. The plastic wrapping idea is retarded though.
0
Reply
Male 18
Stella H, Mother of the Year.
0
Reply
Male 522
wow there are a lot of questions like these on Yahoo Answers. Also I-A-B seems to be glitching it`s telling me I have the option to delete other people`s posts. I`m afraid to press it though just in case it might actually delete it O.O
0
Reply
Male 13,630
Shes banging a cucumber at 11? sweet Jeebus, her future boyfriends are gonna be lost up there
0
Reply
Male 216
So like... yeah uhm.. I`m just gonna leave this one open..
0
Reply
Female 414
omg thats NASTY!!!!
0
Reply
Male 12,365
[quote]so... can you use plastic wrap if u run out of condoms?[/quote]

You can, but don`t expect it to work.
0
Reply
Male 3,332
0
Reply
Male 1,931
"Keep bacteria away from the cucumber"? WTF? She`s not going to eat it afterwords is she? OMFG!
0
Reply
Male 1,399
I love her avatar`s disapproving look.
0
Reply
Male 900
I like how she wants to keep bacteria `away` form the `cucumber`. shouldn`t it be the other way around?
0
Reply
Male 426
i feel wrong reading that. be right back I`m going to confession.
0
Reply
Male 2,586
Yeah I`m more worried that this 11 y/o is already comfortable with something the size of a cucumber! Just means 99% of the male population WON`T be able to satisfy her in the future! :-)
0
Reply
Female 163
<<poo i started bating at that age, so why not, but then im male and i dont use cucumbers >>

Yes you do.
0
Reply
Male 2,510
Rick s, no i was talking about the yahoo question.
0
Reply
Male 48
I just had cucumber on my sandwhich...I hope that girl`s mother didn`t prepare it o.O
0
Reply
Male 206
"....to keep away bacteria from the cucumber."

Does this mean she`s keeping the cucumber? To eat?
0
Reply
Female 4,039
@RickS - you have succeeded ;)
0
Reply
Male 794
poo i started bating at that age, so why not, but then im male and i dont use cucumbers
0
Reply
Female 857
But... cucumbers are kind of big.
0
Reply
Male 600
so... can you use plastic wrap if u run out of condoms?
0
Reply
Male 3,332
"I smell troll" "troll"

Me? I hope not. I was just trying to be funny. I`ve always found it funny that "Veggie Tales," a Christian animation that uses veggies to tell stories from the Bible is hosted by two fruits. Pun intended.
0
Reply
Female 511
At first I was wondering how she thought her daughter might get an STD from a cucumber. Or pregnant. Then it mentioned bacteria.
0
Reply
Male 1,013
1 Vote for best answer...
0
Reply
Male 12,365
[quote]And am I the only one who thinks 11 is young? (...)[/quote]

No, I do as well. But I recognise that it`s only because I have been conditioned to think that way.

My knowledge of human biology tells me;

i) It`s biologically normal to want to masturbate at that age.

ii) Masturbation is harmless and beneficial.

iii) Coercing people into suppressing their normal sexual development through fear is harmful.

So while my socially conditioned response is "too young, ick!", I know that it`s a wrong and possibly harmful response.
0
Reply
Male 2,548
What type of cucumbers are we talking about here, a Lebanese cuke is a far cry from an English one.

0
Reply
Male 2,510
troll.
0
Reply
Female 3,574
Why doesn`t the mom just buy her a proper sex toy?
0
Reply
Male 599
What, you don`t already use plastic food wraps as condoms anyway? Psh please condoms are way more expensive.
0
Reply
Male 2,893
I`ll show you a cu(cum)ber.
0
Reply
Male 976
Wouldn`t the cucumber turn into a pickle??

HEY-OH!! (and giggity!)
0
Reply
Male 150
I smell a troll. :o
0
Reply
Male 3,332
"I think you`re all missing the point. Its not like anyone was going to eat it anyway - its a (shudder) VEGETABLE!"

Technically, it`s a fruit, so people might eat it.
0
Reply
Female 4,376
lol Lion. you win the internet.
0
Reply
Male 8,300
I think you`re all missing the point. Its not like anyone was going to eat it anyway - its a (shudder) VEGETABLE!
0
Reply
Male 425
That`s an awesome answer :D
0
Reply
Female 8,058
Well, I certainly wouldn`t have shared that with my mother, and if my daughter mentioned it to me I think both of us would die. We worked out that neither of us has ever had sex, but we can discuss it on a theoretical level. But -yeah- get her an appropriate dildo and teach her to wash it.
0
Reply
Female 1,427
[quote]SarahofBorg "Who the hell uses condoms for dildos?"

Why not? Makes cleaning it easier.[/quote]

Why not just, say, go wash it with hot water and soap?

Not very hard to do. If you`re that scared of getting your own sexual fluids on your hands... whoa-ho, watch out for real sex!!
0
Reply
Female 318
>.< i love the answer she gave lol
0
Reply
Female 471
SarahofBorg "Who the hell uses condoms for dildos?"

Why not? Makes cleaning it easier.
0
Reply
Female 471
O____O
0
Reply
Female 864
Oh wow ,no fing way that at age 11 I would share my masturbation stories with my Mom.Kudos to them on their open relationship and I think the Mom should just buy her a dildo .
0
Reply
Male 2,121
Eww, just throw the cucumber away... And buy the daughter a dildo if she insists on putting things in there.
0
Reply
Male 316
I genuinely laughed at this. Hahaha :)
0
Reply
Male 5,626
"And am I the only one who thinks 11 is young?"
No but, of the responders, you seem to be in the minority.

"This one is pretty excellent"
Presents that the whole family can enjoy...

Kidding aside: This seems to be a very progressively thinking group. I feel like there is hope for our world.
0
Reply
Female 812
LOL

And am I the only one who thinks 11 is young? (...)
0
Reply
Male 30
mmm. cucumber. makes me hungry.
0
Reply
Male 5,626
"You only need that if you`re sharing the dildo."
Well, that just opened up a whole new can of "weird."

"And why doesn`t her mother just buy her a real dildo?"
I am so glad YOU said that because I sure-in-the-hell was thinking it and it was only a matter of time...
0
Reply
Female 46
i see the mother`s point but ummm it`s the kid that uses it problem
0
Reply
Female 275
I agree. Just buy her a vibrator.

This one is pretty excellent
0
Reply
Female 3,562
Who the hell uses condoms for dildos? You only need that if you`re sharing the dildo. And why doesn`t her mother just buy her a real dildo? I can just imagine on her 12th birthday she unwraps her special present from mommy and smiles.
0
Reply
Male 17,511
[quote]A mate of mine years ago worked as a vacuum cleaner designer, and I asked him "the" question. He confirmed the ONLY reason the hoses are that size is so men just can`t.[/quote]

No wonder `shop vacs` are so popular, Bigger hose.
0
Reply
Male 8,300
> kiersten_
> I have never heard of someone using a cucumber before. However I have heard of...

If it fits in the hole, or the hole is big enough to fit it into, someone, somewhere, has tried it. A mate of mine years ago worked as a vacuum cleaner designer, and I asked him "the" question. He confirmed the ONLY reason the hoses are that size is so men just can`t. And speaking to an ER nurse once, she told me of more things, on both sides of the gender fence, than you`d ever want to know about.
0
Reply
Female 222
well I know which house I`m not going to be eating salads with cucumber slices at from now on...
0
Reply
Female 150
"If that nonsense were true then what about the millions who eat carrots every day? If the "hairs" can penetrate vaginal walls, then they can penetrate throats and stomach linings as well. Don`t you think the same would happen if what you say is true? Stay in school! Honestly, where do people come up with this poo?"

Generally people don`t shove whole, unpeeled carrots down their throats, so it could happen. Pretty much anything is possible.
0
Reply
Male 12,365
splurbyburbl:

Stomach linings aren`t such a good counter-argument. Human stomach acid is pretty hardcore and will dissolve a lot of things.
0
Reply
Female 1,682
I have never heard of someone using a cucumber before XD

However I have heard of people using snakes to masturbate. So who knows right? >_> <_<
0
Reply
Female 1,677
"American parents try and hide everything that has to do with sex from there kids."

It`s hard to hide the internet when the kids probably understand it better than their parents do.

Also, yeah I`ve seen like mini cucumber things, so let`s hope she was using those, otherwise she`s in for a disappointment in a few years..
0
Reply
Male 2,796
"Carrots have little hair like things on them, she ended up dying from this as the little hairs punctured a tiny hole into her bloodstream and made a bubble which traveled to her heart and killed her. This is a true story. (Was featured on 1000 ways to Die which airs on Spike TV)"


If that nonsense were true then what about the millions who eat carrots every day? If the "hairs" can penetrate vaginal walls, then they can penetrate throats and stomach linings as well. Don`t you think the same would happen if what you say is true? Stay in school! Honestly, where do people come up with this poo?
0
Reply
Male 94
PS. Dont freak out grammar NAZIS.I meant European.
0
Reply
Male 94
Angilion its only normal for Eurpean girls to do that. Not here in the US.American parents try and hide everything that has to do with sex from there kids. As a substitute we give them guns.

And someone do something about these spam bots already!
0
Reply
Male 12,365
[quote]The only way a girl that young could be horny is if she was introduced to sex at an early age. Therefore I say Chris Hansen of Catch a Predator should investigate her mother.[/quote]

I suggest you learn a little about human biology before trying to ruin peoples` lives to suit your ignorance.

It`s normal for a sex drive to start quite early on in puberty.

It`s normal for puberty to start as young as 8.

Look it up for yourself.

The reason for having a much higher age of consent for sex is social (the idea of it bothers most people because they`ve been taught it should) and psychological (younger people lack sufficient experience to make an informed decision, same idea as for legal contracts and suchlike), not biological.
0
Reply
Male 94
The only way a girl that young could be horny is if she was introduced to sex at an early age. Therefore I say Chris Hansen of Catch a Predator should investigate her mother.
0
Reply
Male 40,772
"Layers of stupid"
Layers... Onions? ZOMG! she`d have to use onions if denied her cucumbers!! Lolz! Or Ogres perhaps...
Fake question.
(ps: there are some smaller-sized cucumber varieties, eh?)
0
Reply
Male 12,365
[quote]Carrots have little hair like things on them, she ended up dying from this as the little hairs punctured a tiny hole into her bloodstream and made a bubble which traveled to her heart and killed her. This is a true story. (Was featured on 1000 ways to Die which airs on Spike TV)[/quote]

I`m far from convinced about that, on three points:

i) That carrots have "little hair like things" on their surface.

ii) That said things, if they exist, are long rnough and tough enough to penetrate the vaginal wall.

iii) That even if (i) and (ii) are true, the resulting microscopic wound could be fatal.

Air in the bloodstream can kill, but I`m not at all sold on the possibility of an air bubble getting into the bloodstream that way.
0
Reply
Male 5,626
"Bananas? Sausages? popsicles?..."

If you know anyone that works an emergency room, ask them about "broken hot dog incidents."
0
Reply
Male 94
Girls masturbate?
0
Reply
Male 8,300
> Angilion
> I started masturbating when...

Too Much Information.
0
Reply
Male 10,440
[quote] Also...cucumber? Either my memory is wrong(*) or they`re really rather large for a "my first dildo". [/quote]

Its true. I am very much in awe of the mighty cucumber.
0
Reply
Male 5,626
"Geez, kids are getting hornier younger."
No, they aren`t.

We are all incrementally connected and so, you hear more. `Bout the same as when I was a kid in the early `80`s.

Back then, I had a neighbor, 12, with a kid. She was older by maybe a year.

When I had someone I trusted enough to share that side of myself...
0
Reply
Male 10,440
[quote] Because if she did, She go out and find them on her own, And who knows what she`d get. [/quote]

Bananas? Sausages? popsicles? You can never be too careful.

Anyway, I am amazed at the idiocy of this YA question. There are "layers" of stupid here.

9/10
0
Reply
Male 12,365
[quote]Geez, kids are getting hornier younger. [/quote]

I`m not so sure of that. I started masturbating when I was 9, and that was over 30 years ago.

Go back much further and you`ll find that marriage, and therefore sex, was normal at 13-14 (e.g. ancient Rome).

[quote]Really though, if the mother is actually supportive, she should by the girl a toy.[/quote]

Agreed. The right tool for the job is always better.

Also...cucumber? Either my memory is wrong(*) or they`re really rather large for a "my first dildo".

* It`s been a very long time since I made any food with a cucumber.
0
Reply
Male 250
Didn`t 1000 ways to die also include the shotgun cigarette thing? that one wasn`t even possible the way they described it. 1KWTD is about as based on true stories as any other show that claims that they are. which is just barely if at all.
0
Reply
Female 98
theres no way i coulda fit a cucumber at 11. i wasnt even brave enuf to try my fingers til i was like, 13... but i can see a young girl trying this, i have a book called our bodies ourselves tht came out way back when and it tell u to do it with a cucumber to experience it. i never did, i just was a lil too intimidated by the idea.. but there are texts saying to do these things!!!
0
Reply
Male 17,511
"Why don`t you stop buying cucumbers ?"

Because if she did, She go out and find them on her own, And who knows what she`d get.

<satire>
0
Reply
Female 113
Geez, kids are getting hornier younger.
Really though, if the mother is actually supportive, she should by the girl a toy. Ridiculing innocent vegetables is pathetic and a waste of money. :/
0
Reply
Male 772
@ xbx214:

Grow the hell up.
0
Reply
Male 25,416
Rofl!
0
Reply
Female 513
11? Seriously?
God, boys still had "cooties" when I was 11.
0
Reply
Male 715
That `true story` almost sounds too absurd to be true. Besides, I`m not very inclined to believe something like that "Especially" since it was on Spike.
0
Reply
Female 291
titmeister, her 11 year old daughter was taking said cucumber and inserting it into her vagina.

Condoms go on penis. Cucumber shaped like penis.
Parent worried about sexual safety. Even fruits and veggies need some sort of barrier before inserting into humans.

Why? Well, there was once this girl who stopped at her local grocery store and grabbed some veggies, when she got home she felt quite horny. She looked through her bag of groceries and seen carrots. She decided to insert this particular vegetable into herself.

Carrots have little hair like things on them, she ended up dying from this as the little hairs punctured a tiny hole into her bloodstream and made a bubble which traveled to her heart and killed her. This is a true story. (Was featured on 1000 ways to Die which airs on Spike TV)
0
Reply
Male 559
lol
0
Reply
Male 63
One must always beware of the cucumber std, before you know if BAM! pickle poonany!
0
Reply
Male 958
Next thing you know shes taking black dicks at age 15 lol
0
Reply
Male 41
okay, why did she need a condom on the cucumber. unless there`s a secret and very serious undertone going on...
0
Reply
Male 721
DHise - You are immoral. There is nothing wrong with it.
0
Reply
Male 36
hope she doesn`t eat it afterwards.
0
Reply
Female 204
If I could pick the best answer here, I`d pick thelonious`. Awesome.
0
Reply
Male 868
Yes. We all agree; the mother isn`t thinking properly - she should outright have her stop masturbating. It`s immoral.
0
Reply
Male 15,510
Dumb answer for a fake dumb question
0
Reply
Male 257
HA, lol, that`s what your fingers and toys are for. XD
0
Reply
Male 3,310
That`s no kind of answer. She`ll just get cucumbers off the street. And that`s the worst kind
0
Reply
Female 665
Oh dear lord.
0
Reply
Female 1,181
penetration at f*cking 11? jesus christ.
0
Reply
Female 614
ew, she`s endorsing this??? spend money on a clean, legit mini dildo. sheesh.
0
Reply
Male 353
She`s gonna be disappointed when she`s older.
0
Reply
Female 667
Awesome!
0
Reply
Male 20,920
Link: Yahoo! Answers The Cucumber Question [Pic] [Rate Link] - Yahoo! Answers? Cucumbers? OK, I-A-B, where do you think this one`s going?
0
Reply