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Date: 04/07/10 05:00 PM

90 Responses to The UK`s New Domestic Abuse Advert

  1. Profile photo of Parasite
    Parasite Male 18-29
    141 posts
    April 5, 2010 at 9:31 pm
    Link: The UK`s New Domestic Abuse Advert - Hey guys, is it really worth being a douchebag?
  2. Profile photo of dotrom
    dotrom Female 18-29
    92 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 5:03 pm
    I find this situation hard to believe.
  3. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17514 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 5:07 pm
    What a tool!
  4. Profile photo of Chaos7
    Chaos7 Male 18-29
    849 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 5:20 pm
    Facepalm*
  5. Profile photo of Odyne
    Odyne Female 30-39
    236 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 5:28 pm
    "I find this situation hard to believe."

    Aren`t you lucky one. Abusive douches rarely do things that make sense. They get off on power trips over stupid crap.
  6. Profile photo of a1butcher
    a1butcher Male 40-49
    4809 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 5:30 pm
    "You`re gonna ave to put sum work into it to get me ready now"
    Funny accent.

    Having said that. I can see this relationship lasting to a long a abusive marriage.
  7. Profile photo of skypirate
    skypirate Male 18-29
    2411 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 5:37 pm
    all i can think i harry potter! they sound so funny!
  8. Profile photo of Saragato
    Saragato Female 18-29
    721 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 5:46 pm
    I`ve seen it happen, I`ve had it happen to me. It`s as fun as it looks. :|

    I do like the add-in of the guy trying to stop himself by screaming and banging on plexiglass.
  9. Profile photo of duffytoler
    duffytoler Male 40-49
    5195 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 5:47 pm
    >>I find this situation hard to believe.

    Me too. More like some drama queen`s idea for a story than anything that actually happened.
  10. Profile photo of theHUSHSOUND
    theHUSHSOUND Female 13-17
    541 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 5:55 pm
    Why does Europe always have so many better PSA`s than America? Is it the censoring in America or something? Not that this one is fabulous, but just in general.
  11. Profile photo of Rick_S
    Rick_S Male 40-49
    3282 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 5:55 pm
    "I`ve seen it happen, I`ve had it happen to me. It`s as fun as it looks. :|"

    I`m so sorry to hear that. Seriously.
  12. Profile photo of SPrinkZ
    SPrinkZ Male 18-29
    2279 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 6:03 pm
    Pretty drating scary if you ask me.
  13. Profile photo of emzrok
    emzrok Female 13-17
    1306 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 6:05 pm
    The guy abusing the girl was such a complete gross douchebag that I don`t think he would have stopped himself if he was seeing it happen.

    Also, I see ZERO PSAs like this in America (at least where I live). I mean, I literally never see one on TV. Do they have a lot of them showing in Europe?
  14. Profile photo of SPrinkZ
    SPrinkZ Male 18-29
    2279 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 6:06 pm
    "Me too. More like some drama queen`s idea for a story than anything that actually happened."

    Really? I hear about this kinda poo all the time. Maybe not with the hair pulling, but certainly guys guilt, or treat girls like poo in order to get them to have sex, or pressure them constantly or demand it and say they `need` it.

    Guys view women as a means to sex. At least, guys like that.
  15. Profile photo of vfr4
    vfr4 Male 30-39
    185 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 6:11 pm
    Throw... PHONE!
  16. Profile photo of IssaTheFiend
    IssaTheFiend Female 18-29
    2353 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 6:17 pm
    Not that great of a PSA but it happens.
  17. Profile photo of util
    util Male 18-29
    136 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 6:19 pm
    "Guys view women as a means to sex."

    I`m an holistic kinda guy, I see the world as a means to sex.
  18. Profile photo of lkc1
    lkc1 Female 13-17
    224 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 6:22 pm
    :(. that makes me wanna cry
  19. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 7:11 pm
    Can you imagine this with Harry Potter and Hermione instead?
  20. Profile photo of thelonious
    thelonious Male 40-49
    3284 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 7:17 pm
    Guys guilting women into sex! More on the 10,000 bc news report!
  21. Profile photo of Pooptart19
    Pooptart19 Male 18-29
    2441 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 7:21 pm
    Can you imagine this with Harry Potter and Hermione instead?

    I am now. xD
  22. Profile photo of fishgul69
    fishgul69 Female 18-29
    914 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 7:49 pm
    wait till he`s asleep and cut `im.
  23. Profile photo of Baalthazaq
    Baalthazaq Male 18-29
    4548 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 7:56 pm
    Well that`s creepy as drat.
  24. Profile photo of xKrazyKoalax
    xKrazyKoalax Male 18-29
    208 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 8:18 pm
    @ thelonius

    Are you implying that abuse is out dated or just old news? Either one is stupid.
  25. Profile photo of Lednar
    Lednar Male 18-29
    109 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 8:20 pm
    In Soviet Rusia girlfriends abuse boys.
  26. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 9:09 pm
    OK, while I by no means advocate physical abuse, I have to point out that there is more than thing wrong here.

    Clearly, a teen girl that feels comfortable enough to invite him into her into room, WHILE HER FAMILY IS AWAY, has had enough time to know that this person is interested in an active sexual relationship.
    She wants intimacy but, is not willing to engage in what goes with it (not willing to pay for it.) What she wants is a girlfriend with muscles.

    He wants physical intimacy but, has not learned the value of companionship (not willing to pay for it.) What he wants is a sex-bot.

    I`d probably have made the ad tag (each watching himself through the glass) "Do you see yourself? Do you even want the same thing?"

    By the way, she is totally the type that says
    "NO WAY! Ricky Martin has to be straight!!!"
    or in an earlier time
    "NO WAY! George Michael has to be straight!!!"
    "NO WAY! Elton John has to
  27. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7470 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 9:11 pm
    god, i just couldnt take him seriously with that accent. no offense to those of you who have it, its just not threatening.
  28. Profile photo of Nebbie
    Nebbie Male 18-29
    864 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 9:39 pm
    @CodeJockey Wow. Way to COMPLETELY miss the point. Do things go this far over your head often?
  29. Profile photo of raikun12
    raikun12 Male 18-29
    586 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 9:40 pm
    Damn you obrakiller! the whole time through that video I was thinking the exact same thing! you beat me to the punch.
  30. Profile photo of Nebbie
    Nebbie Male 18-29
    864 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 9:41 pm
    "Me too. More like some drama queen`s idea for a story than anything that actually happened."

    My girlfriend has an ex that did pretty much this exact thing. So... Your call.
  31. Profile photo of Aus10816
    Aus10816 Male 18-29
    639 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 9:59 pm
    Let him take his pants off, then a swift kick in the nuts will bring him to his knees. At that point she should just take the glass vase on the shelf and crack it over his f*cked up head.
  32. Profile photo of _kiersten_
    _kiersten_ Female 18-29
    1682 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 10:03 pm
    ..Jesus. What makes it worse is that things like this actually happen -.- So sad :(
  33. Profile photo of Kshine
    Kshine Female 13-17
    134 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 10:11 pm
    At first it was funny and then it was sad T_T
  34. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9308 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 10:29 pm
    *shivers*
    It creeps me out double because I know somewhere, someone is doing this right now, and they don`t have anyone to help them.
  35. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 10:50 pm
    @Nebbie
    No point missed. He`s a douche. The scene appears to be based on someone`s experience and capitalizes HIS douchiness.

    Less apparent but, still present if one is to tell the truth: She invited a douche into her room rather than admitting he`s a douche. THAT IS A FORM OF SELF ABUSE.

    By the time they were at that point, she had more than enough evidence to say "Hmm... You know, he IS a douche!" Instead, she continues to build a shrine in room to her and her douche.

    I have as little respect for people that stay in a place of abuse as I do for abusers.
    It is not insensitive to tell not just either but BOTH of these people: "The first thing you have to do is NOT GO BACK to a place of abuse."
    And yes, I am saying, if want to analyze him further, the probability is high the HE has also been the victim in one of these scenes at a different time in his life.
  36. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15841 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 10:53 pm
    There`s nothing wrong with him that a pot of boiling water in the middle of the night wouldn`t fix.
  37. Profile photo of IAmBoss
    IAmBoss Male 18-29
    26 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 11:05 pm
    Jockey, you`re an ignorant person.
  38. Profile photo of TR-Wolf
    TR-Wolf Male 18-29
    1557 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 11:17 pm
    CodeJockey there are 2 versions of the commercial, one where its the guy`s POV watching it, saying "why are you being this way towards her?" and one of the girl saying "why can`t you see he is actually abusing you?"
  39. Profile photo of TR-Wolf
    TR-Wolf Male 18-29
    1557 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 11:20 pm
    In fact this is different than the version on TV. In the one on TV she goes "alright, I`ll do it" but he`s holding her by the hair and says "why would I want to now? Look at you, you`re pathetic"
  40. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 11:29 pm
    "nothing wrong with him that a pot of boiling water "
    "wait till he`s asleep and cut `im."

    You two don`t seem to know what happens if she uses a weapon while he is asleep:
    John and Lorena Bobbit had the same scene only they were already married (she married this douche for his family`s money) and their scene transitioned right after he smacked her down and ass rammed her until he passed out so she cut it off and tossed it in the trash.

    He ended up in an agreement to do porn in order to repay the surgical debt (married him for...)

    SHE ENDED UP IN PRISON. It seems that the legal definition of rape was worded so that it was not possible for a man to be tried for rape of a person to whom he is married which made her action attempted murder.
  41. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    April 7, 2010 at 11:40 pm
    It was attempted murder anyway, regardless of what he might or might not have done (presumption of innocence, anyone remember that?). Defence is a valid defence against an assault charge of any severity, including killing. Attempting to kill someone while they`re asleep is not defence. At best, it`s revenge. Which is not a valid defence.

    Although the defence law is different for women and allows revenge to be ruled defence if a woman does it, I disagree with that. I advocate sexual equality, of which sexual equality under the law is an absolute minimum.
  42. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 12:08 am
    "Jockey, you`re an ignorant person. "
    Yes, I am an ignorant jerk for saying "WAKE UP AND LEAVE HIM BEHIND!" and, at the same time, to him, saying "Once you know your parents effed you up, it`s no longer an excuse for being an ass."



    "...there are 2 versions of the commercial..."
    THAT makes more sense. It doe`s not make sense to show one POV and not the other. What are the chances of them having children, also being abused.
  43. Profile photo of madduck
    madduck Female 50-59
    7562 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 12:22 am
    Makes me want to cry- do not ever ever ignore this girls. You can get out- there IS help. Tell someone what is happening, men too as it goes both ways. If you stay, your self confidence will be eroded to the point where you cannot leave. For all you idiots who think this is funny- well grow up and ask someone who has lived through it.
  44. Profile photo of RecycleElf
    RecycleElf Male 18-29
    3621 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 1:29 am
    ///respecting commercial
  45. Profile photo of Fleh
    Fleh Male 18-29
    231 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 1:49 am
    Ok guys....sorry for saying this....but when he threw that phone it was AWESOME :D I giggled my ass off for like two minutes straight then re-winded it and watched it again. But still, I say if anyone`s boyfriend treats them like this they should kick him as hard as possible in the nuts and call the police. NOT COOL
  46. Profile photo of bunny_knight
    bunny_knight Male 18-29
    352 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 1:52 am
    wow, that was pretty powerful
  47. Profile photo of me117
    me117 Male 13-17
    36 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 1:55 am
    Ive had to watch this too many times
  48. Profile photo of almightybob1
    almightybob1 Male 18-29
    4290 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 2:47 am
    What`s with our government and its sudden love of shock tactics and creepy threatening adverts?
  49. Profile photo of mal_BB
    mal_BB Male 18-29
    1231 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 2:55 am
    He reminded me a bit of lovable Mancunian comedian Mason Manford, but he wouldn`t behave like that.
    Powerful advert, probably the most hard hitting one i`ve seen since the last barnardos one. Its beyond me how anyone an treat their girlfriend like that though- they`d have to be pretty f`d up.
  50. Profile photo of mal_BB
    mal_BB Male 18-29
    1231 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 3:08 am
    Lednar-"In Soviet Rusia girlfriends abuse boys"
    Interesting point actually- there is cases of men being abused in a relationship, but you never see any adverts for it (Public awareness, not Buy one get one free). Maybe its not common enough?
  51. Profile photo of Trizz
    Trizz Male 18-29
    1383 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 4:08 am
    Ewww just the way he takes off that belt at the end, that made it creepy.
  52. Profile photo of bpthompson
    bpthompson Male 18-29
    9 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 4:11 am
    @ almightybob1: Maybe the ads need to be a little more serious. The stupid PSAs they have here in the States don`t really speak loud enough to the kids these days. Not sure if this type of ad does either, but if I had to have my pick...
  53. Profile photo of pmarren
    pmarren Male 40-49
    4575 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 6:21 am
    How cheerful.
  54. Profile photo of crabcake
    crabcake Female 30-39
    397 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 6:48 am
    it`s crunch time young lady.
  55. Profile photo of fknloser
    fknloser Male 30-39
    418 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 7:58 am
    yeah i`m old fashioned, but i have and would never. My Fiance` loves being with me and having sex with me, mainly because i show here actual love and attention. I always consider what makes her feel good and happy. A guy that sees his own pleasure before considering hers is pathetic, selfish, and doomed to be a lonely loser forever.
  56. Profile photo of McDuff73
    McDuff73 Male 30-39
    870 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 8:01 am
    @Codejockey are you some sort of idiot!?

    "I have as little respect for people that stay in a place of abuse as I do for abusers"

    Then you clearly have no clue as to the psychology of an abuse victim maybe you should avoid making such ridiculously uninformed commments untill you fully understand the situation.
    76% of separated women reported suffering post-separation violence, women are at greatest risk of homicide at the point of separation or after leaving a violent partner
  57. Profile photo of AGit
    AGit Male 30-39
    995 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 8:17 am
    Sad reality is that if people like this could see themselves they would probably clap and cheer.
    Not bashing the ad, but I think it`s better to promote the partner`s awareness that the other person is a git and to get the drat out
  58. Profile photo of wotsitgizmo
    wotsitgizmo Female 30-39
    130 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 8:34 am
    "Not bashing the ad, but I think it`s better to promote the partner`s awareness that the other person is a git and to get the drat out"

    There are plenty of those ads as well in the uk as well as ones like this showing it from the abusers ppoint of view.
  59. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10441 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 8:40 am
    I find that English accent hilarious.
  60. Profile photo of jamie76
    jamie76 Male 30-39
    2345 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 8:53 am
    I once beat the poo outta a guy in a taco bell parking lot for smacking his girl across the side of the head right in front of me. Didn`t really give him much warning other than to shout hey, and when he turned and tried to tell me to F`off I punched the poo outta him and then laid into him a few more times...cops arrived, arrested the guy and the girl stated that i was defending her so I didn`t get arrested. I alwauys wondered if she was smart enough to get away from him after that.
  61. Profile photo of APJ311
    APJ311 Male 13-17
    749 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 10:13 am
    @mal BB

    Mason Manford? Don`t you mean Jason? ;D

    This guy isn`t like Jason Manford.
  62. Profile photo of SPrinkZ
    SPrinkZ Male 18-29
    2279 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 10:13 am
    Jamie, if you were smart you woulda let her get her skull bashed in. She obviously hasn`t learned, and putting yourself in the hero position is noble, but what happens if they both turn on you and lie to the cops and say you attacked him for no reason AND her?

    That`s happened before PLENTY of times.
  63. Profile photo of SPrinkZ
    SPrinkZ Male 18-29
    2279 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 10:14 am
    "yeah i`m old fashioned, but i have and would never. My Fiance` loves being with me and having sex with me, mainly because i show here actual love and attention. I always consider what makes her feel good and happy. A guy that sees his own pleasure before considering hers is pathetic, selfish, and doomed to be a lonely loser forever."

    What about rich men? They seem to be doing fine.
  64. Profile photo of SPrinkZ
    SPrinkZ Male 18-29
    2279 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 10:17 am
    For all you people saying this doesn`t happen. It does. Probably the same way sometimes too. That`s why this is so scary for some of us who watch it. It`s downright disturbing if you can`t believe it.
  65. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 11:22 am
    So, McDuff, what do you say?
    Are you going to stay inside of a burning car because the other cars on the highway?
    It`s only a matter of time before he begins escalating the violence. I have been through this and I do understand the psychology.

    "Oh, he`s so passionate because love me."
    "When the baby comes, he`ll be different."
    This person sees potential and not actuality.

    Danger is dangerous. Move your ass!
  66. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 12:24 pm
    Whatttt. thats just bad!
  67. Profile photo of Lellin
    Lellin Female 13-17
    54 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 1:59 pm
    Ahaha I saw this advert on tv lots of times. They usually play a short version.
  68. Profile photo of McDuff73
    McDuff73 Male 30-39
    870 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 2:06 pm
    its not as simple as `step out and dont get burned`
    it is a little more complex than that and if u had paid any note to the statistics I posted you would see that 3/4 of women leaving an abusive relationship still suffer abuse!
    Anyone with an ounce of understanding about the complex issues in an abuser abused relationship would know not to dismiss how hard it is to break a cycle like this.
  69. Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10732 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 2:22 pm
    If that really is what happens then the girl should just run when it does happen.
  70. Profile photo of whipsmart
    whipsmart Female 18-29
    665 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 3:16 pm
    Ohhhhhhhhh!

    I thought I was still reading the comments for the Old Spice commercial.
  71. Profile photo of zombieland
    zombieland Male 18-29
    418 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 3:18 pm
    hahahaha, did anyone else find that funny?
  72. Profile photo of snukatoof
    snukatoof Male 18-29
    58 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 3:47 pm
    HI-laaarious
  73. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 3:50 pm
    Interesting point actually- there is cases of men being abused in a relationship, but you never see any adverts for it (Public awareness, not Buy one get one free). Maybe its not common enough?

    Nobody really knows how common it is. The few studies that weren`t utterly sexist yield similar results for men and women. The reason is that domestic violence is a completely politicised issue totally dominated by feminism, so the only framework allowed is a male abuser and female victim. Anything else is ignored. Even female victims are ignored if the abuser is also female, because the main point is to portray men as abusers and women as victims and especially to portray normal men as abusers. It promotes distrust of men - excellent propaganda.

    Reality is far more complicated.
  74. Profile photo of MrBowserPuff
    MrBowserPuff Male 13-17
    275 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 4:37 pm
    Do British guys think American accents are funny? Don`t worry about offending me, I think yours is funny.
  75. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 4:56 pm
    Do British guys think American accents are funny? Don`t worry about offending me, I think yours is funny.

    As you`d expect, it varies. Both from Briton to Briton and from American accent to American accent for the same Briton.

    I`ve no doubt it`s the same the other way around. Try it yourself - listen to a variety of British accents (there are hundreds) and you`ll probably find some funny and some not.

    Although I haven`t yet heard an American accent I find funny. Not funny in the humourous sense, anyway. Some sound funny in the odd sense to me.
  76. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 5:10 pm
    "...hard it is to break a cycle..."
    And there. Right there. We are talking about the same thing.

    We are talking about breaking a cycle. A cycle in each of these characters that represent so many people and so much needless conflict.

    He didn`t hit you by accident.
    He`s not just having a bad day/month or having `so much going on right now.`
    He`s not going to be better once the baby arrives.

    He is just effing broken. You are both broken and he doesn`t need `one more effing chance.`

    You are broken and you don`t stand a chance of fixing yourself until you stop going back.
    ---------------------
    What? Do you think it comes to "If I leave, I don`t know what he`ll do" over night? You really think someone becomes mental cornered in a day?

    "Mentally cornered." That is enabling. If you let someone leave things that way, you are as much an enabler as mom that brings another slice of pie to her 300lb teen
  77. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 5:12 pm
    only she`s not even getting a slice of pie.

    You can only help her at least by telling her not
    to go back and at most giving her a safe haven.
  78. Profile photo of Wizard77
    Wizard77 Male 40-49
    582 posts
    April 8, 2010 at 5:29 pm
    31% of all women murdered are killed by their domestic partner. 31% of women should learn to shut the hell up.
  79. Profile photo of McDuff73
    McDuff73 Male 30-39
    870 posts
    April 9, 2010 at 1:03 am
    an "enabler" you havent a clue have you!? your talking complete and absolute nonsense.
    Yes its really a persons fault if they are so emotionally and physically damaged by an abusive partner that they are unable to break free from that abusive relationship and we should have no respect for them, we should condemn them and in fact also blame them for allowing themselves to continue to be abused in such a way.
    You really have no clue as to what damage is caused by living in fear day in day out for either your life or the lives of your kids.
    Your right about the last two points however tell them not to go back and provide a safe haven for them sadly not enough of that goes on as I posted 76% of women escaping abusive relationships still suffer some sort of abuse AFTER they break away from the abusive partner.
  80. Profile photo of paddyt07
    paddyt07 Male 18-29
    1067 posts
    April 9, 2010 at 2:18 am
    I love this advert, the other one in a house party is good too. Definite fsvourite moment is when he throws her phone and tries to blame her :D

    That were your fault that were
  81. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 9, 2010 at 6:09 am
    "...76% of women escaping abusive relationships..."
    McDuff, I live in a place where police can`t do a thing to help unless a third party SEES and presses charges against the abuser if the victim does not speak up for herself.
    If someone "heard" the two making a ruckus, the most the police can do give a fine for disturbing the peace. The only time I`ve ever seen an officer or social worker or medical worker risk his career in order to intervene is when the victim is minor.

    The idea is that a minor cannot speak himself but an adult can. At the core, we are taking about an issue of strength. Inner strength. To settle on "76% of whomever..." That`s weakness.
    To have even the 24% chance of escape, one has to be strong enough to escape.
  82. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 9, 2010 at 6:11 am

    Strength is in teaching `recognition and response.`
    "If he hit bullied you once. He`s a big, mean bastard. You have proof.
    If you went back, giving him a chance to attack you again, that is you. Why aren`t you alarmed by your own behavior?"
  83. Profile photo of McDuff73
    McDuff73 Male 30-39
    870 posts
    April 9, 2010 at 3:07 pm
    So your saying you lack respect for weaker people!
    How humane of you
  84. Profile photo of Wiggle1111
    Wiggle1111 Male 18-29
    78 posts
    April 9, 2010 at 4:06 pm
    If she`d kicked him repeatedly in the nuts it would have all been over in seconds.
    Kick in Nuts = dude kryptonite.
  85. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 10, 2010 at 8:46 pm
    Can`t help if you won`t press charges.
    Help won`t be effective if you keep going back to your abuser.

    Help won`t even show up twice if, while you are getting your ass kicked in, help boots in the door and grabs the abuser and you jump on help`s back.
    What`s the point?

    A civilized nation is covered in help... If you seek and will accept it.

    I`m saying I lack respect for anyone that does not ATTEMPT escape.
    --------------------------
    And back to the topic video, long before anyone is set on fire while asleep, just dump a guy. It`s a lot less expensive for everyone.

    Besides, hair grabbing should only be a component of doggy-position sex.
  86. Profile photo of McDuff73
    McDuff73 Male 30-39
    870 posts
    April 11, 2010 at 2:28 am
    Oh to live in your wee perfect world.

    You claim to have an understanding of this sort of situation but you dont even realise that some people are in such abusive relationships they are unable to even attempt to break free, those are the ones that need most help to get out and yet you dismiss them with such an ignorant and flippant mentality.
    More of your humanity on show there!
  87. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 11, 2010 at 8:10 am
    "...those are the ones that need most help..."
    Dude. We are saying the same thing.

    There is a difference between physical and mental weakness.
    From my perspective, you are saying "It`s OK to not try to leave a bad situation because there is danger in trying to leave."
    Knowing the police can`t do anything if she does not complain, how do you suppose that situation gets fixed? Shall she wait to be killed then?

    My approach, as it has been named by more than one woman and not myself, is "The Drill Instructor."
    Does a DI say "OK fellas. Time to climb over the wall. If you fall or don`t feel like it, that`s OK too..."
    No, it`s "GET LAZY ASS OVER THAT GOD-DAMNED WALL, YOU FAT BASTARD!"
    Which of those two will prepare a person, both mentally and physically, for reality?

    If you show the message from the other perspective, you teach people to stop the relationship before if it starts.
  88. Profile photo of McDuff73
    McDuff73 Male 30-39
    870 posts
    April 11, 2010 at 3:54 pm
    Its like banging my head against a brick wall!

    Your answer to encourage someone to escape from an abusive realtionship is to verbally assault them?

    You show a clear understanding of the psychology involved there.
  89. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 12, 2010 at 4:58 pm
    You are mistaking my inference for a literal suggestion. Are you trying to be insulted or did you just not understand the point of demonstration using an extreme?

    My point was, in topic video, every effort is made to emphasize his frenetic escalation:
    1 "Yep, I won"
    2 "Let`s do it"
    3 "Dammit, see what you made me do"
    4 Extreme jump to Assault
    5 Rape through psychological pressure
    Every one gets the point: He`s a bastard because he first, lacks respect and second, lacks empathy. Less obvious at 4: He appears to be emulating something that has happened to him (cycle of violence?)

    1 Can I appease you with praise?
    2 I`m not interested
    3 "I just got that!" (more concern over the device than the disrespect)
    4 "Ow, that hurts!" Resignation
    5 Cowering submission
  90. Profile photo of CodeJockey
    CodeJockey Male 40-49
    5611 posts
    April 12, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    Now here, what I said was this is lacking if it does not also teach her
    3 "Hey that was disrespectful! Get the hell out of my house!" *scene ends*
    4 *he pulls hair* *She applies self defense technique* *scene ends*

    or
    5 *She bolts from the house calling for help* *scene ends*

    Tag "Hey, you don`t have to put up with this shi#!"

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