The UK`s New Domestic Abuse Advert

Submitted by: Parasite 7 years ago in
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzDr18UYO18

Hey guys, is it really worth being a douchebag?
There are 90 comments:
Male 5,626

Now here, what I said was this is lacking if it does not also teach her
3 "Hey that was disrespectful! Get the hell out of my house!" *scene ends*
4 *he pulls hair* *She applies self defense technique* *scene ends*

or
5 *She bolts from the house calling for help* *scene ends*

Tag "Hey, you don`t have to put up with this shi#!"
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Male 5,626
You are mistaking my inference for a literal suggestion. Are you trying to be insulted or did you just not understand the point of demonstration using an extreme?

My point was, in topic video, every effort is made to emphasize his frenetic escalation:
1 "Yep, I won"
2 "Let`s do it"
3 "Dammit, see what you made me do"
4 Extreme jump to Assault
5 Rape through psychological pressure
Every one gets the point: He`s a bastard because he first, lacks respect and second, lacks empathy. Less obvious at 4: He appears to be emulating something that has happened to him (cycle of violence?)

1 Can I appease you with praise?
2 I`m not interested
3 "I just got that!" (more concern over the device than the disrespect)
4 "Ow, that hurts!" Resignation
5 Cowering submission
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Male 871
Its like banging my head against a brick wall!

Your answer to encourage someone to escape from an abusive realtionship is to verbally assault them?

You show a clear understanding of the psychology involved there.
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Male 5,626
"...those are the ones that need most help..."
Dude. We are saying the same thing.

There is a difference between physical and mental weakness.
From my perspective, you are saying "It`s OK to not try to leave a bad situation because there is danger in trying to leave."
Knowing the police can`t do anything if she does not complain, how do you suppose that situation gets fixed? Shall she wait to be killed then?

My approach, as it has been named by more than one woman and not myself, is "The Drill Instructor."
Does a DI say "OK fellas. Time to climb over the wall. If you fall or don`t feel like it, that`s OK too..."
No, it`s "GET LAZY ASS OVER THAT GOD-DAMNED WALL, YOU FAT BASTARD!"
Which of those two will prepare a person, both mentally and physically, for reality?

If you show the message from the other perspective, you teach people to stop the relationship before if it starts.
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Male 871
Oh to live in your wee perfect world.

You claim to have an understanding of this sort of situation but you dont even realise that some people are in such abusive relationships they are unable to even attempt to break free, those are the ones that need most help to get out and yet you dismiss them with such an ignorant and flippant mentality.
More of your humanity on show there!
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Male 5,626
Can`t help if you won`t press charges.
Help won`t be effective if you keep going back to your abuser.

Help won`t even show up twice if, while you are getting your ass kicked in, help boots in the door and grabs the abuser and you jump on help`s back.
What`s the point?

A civilized nation is covered in help... If you seek and will accept it.

I`m saying I lack respect for anyone that does not ATTEMPT escape.
--------------------------
And back to the topic video, long before anyone is set on fire while asleep, just dump a guy. It`s a lot less expensive for everyone.

Besides, hair grabbing should only be a component of doggy-position sex.
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Male 78
If she`d kicked him repeatedly in the nuts it would have all been over in seconds.
Kick in Nuts = dude kryptonite.
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Male 871
So your saying you lack respect for weaker people!
How humane of you
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Male 5,626

Strength is in teaching `recognition and response.`
"If he hit bullied you once. He`s a big, mean bastard. You have proof.
If you went back, giving him a chance to attack you again, that is you. Why aren`t you alarmed by your own behavior?"
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Male 5,626
"...76% of women escaping abusive relationships..."
McDuff, I live in a place where police can`t do a thing to help unless a third party SEES and presses charges against the abuser if the victim does not speak up for herself.
If someone "heard" the two making a ruckus, the most the police can do give a fine for disturbing the peace. The only time I`ve ever seen an officer or social worker or medical worker risk his career in order to intervene is when the victim is minor.

The idea is that a minor cannot speak himself but an adult can. At the core, we are taking about an issue of strength. Inner strength. To settle on "76% of whomever..." That`s weakness.
To have even the 24% chance of escape, one has to be strong enough to escape.
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Male 1,067
I love this advert, the other one in a house party is good too. Definite fsvourite moment is when he throws her phone and tries to blame her :D

That were your fault that were
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Male 871
an "enabler" you havent a clue have you!? your talking complete and absolute nonsense.
Yes its really a persons fault if they are so emotionally and physically damaged by an abusive partner that they are unable to break free from that abusive relationship and we should have no respect for them, we should condemn them and in fact also blame them for allowing themselves to continue to be abused in such a way.
You really have no clue as to what damage is caused by living in fear day in day out for either your life or the lives of your kids.
Your right about the last two points however tell them not to go back and provide a safe haven for them sadly not enough of that goes on as I posted 76% of women escaping abusive relationships still suffer some sort of abuse AFTER they break away from the abusive partner.
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Male 582
31% of all women murdered are killed by their domestic partner. 31% of women should learn to shut the hell up.
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Male 5,626
only she`s not even getting a slice of pie.

You can only help her at least by telling her not
to go back and at most giving her a safe haven.
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Male 5,626
"...hard it is to break a cycle..."
And there. Right there. We are talking about the same thing.

We are talking about breaking a cycle. A cycle in each of these characters that represent so many people and so much needless conflict.

He didn`t hit you by accident.
He`s not just having a bad day/month or having `so much going on right now.`
He`s not going to be better once the baby arrives.

He is just effing broken. You are both broken and he doesn`t need `one more effing chance.`

You are broken and you don`t stand a chance of fixing yourself until you stop going back.
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What? Do you think it comes to "If I leave, I don`t know what he`ll do" over night? You really think someone becomes mental cornered in a day?

"Mentally cornered." That is enabling. If you let someone leave things that way, you are as much an enabler as mom that brings another slice of pie to her 300lb teen
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Male 12,365
[quote]Do British guys think American accents are funny? Don`t worry about offending me, I think yours is funny.[/quote]

As you`d expect, it varies. Both from Briton to Briton and from American accent to American accent for the same Briton.

I`ve no doubt it`s the same the other way around. Try it yourself - listen to a variety of British accents (there are hundreds) and you`ll probably find some funny and some not.

Although I haven`t yet heard an American accent I find funny. Not funny in the humourous sense, anyway. Some sound funny in the odd sense to me.
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Male 275
Do British guys think American accents are funny? Don`t worry about offending me, I think yours is funny.
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Male 12,365
[quote]Interesting point actually- there is cases of men being abused in a relationship, but you never see any adverts for it (Public awareness, not Buy one get one free). Maybe its not common enough?[/quote]

Nobody really knows how common it is. The few studies that weren`t utterly sexist yield similar results for men and women. The reason is that domestic violence is a completely politicised issue totally dominated by feminism, so the only framework allowed is a male abuser and female victim. Anything else is ignored. Even female victims are ignored if the abuser is also female, because the main point is to portray men as abusers and women as victims and especially to portray normal men as abusers. It promotes distrust of men - excellent propaganda.

Reality is far more complicated.
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Male 58
HI-laaarious
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Male 418
hahahaha, did anyone else find that funny?
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Female 665
Ohhhhhhhhh!

I thought I was still reading the comments for the Old Spice commercial.
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Male 10,855
If that really is what happens then the girl should just run when it does happen.
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Male 871
its not as simple as `step out and dont get burned`
it is a little more complex than that and if u had paid any note to the statistics I posted you would see that 3/4 of women leaving an abusive relationship still suffer abuse!
Anyone with an ounce of understanding about the complex issues in an abuser abused relationship would know not to dismiss how hard it is to break a cycle like this.
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Female 54
Ahaha I saw this advert on tv lots of times. They usually play a short version.
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Male 25,416
Whatttt. thats just bad!
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Male 5,626
So, McDuff, what do you say?
Are you going to stay inside of a burning car because the other cars on the highway?
It`s only a matter of time before he begins escalating the violence. I have been through this and I do understand the psychology.

"Oh, he`s so passionate because love me."
"When the baby comes, he`ll be different."
This person sees potential and not actuality.

Danger is dangerous. Move your ass!
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Male 2,309
For all you people saying this doesn`t happen. It does. Probably the same way sometimes too. That`s why this is so scary for some of us who watch it. It`s downright disturbing if you can`t believe it.
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Male 2,309
"yeah i`m old fashioned, but i have and would never. My Fiance` loves being with me and having sex with me, mainly because i show here actual love and attention. I always consider what makes her feel good and happy. A guy that sees his own pleasure before considering hers is pathetic, selfish, and doomed to be a lonely loser forever."

What about rich men? They seem to be doing fine.
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Male 2,309
Jamie, if you were smart you woulda let her get her skull bashed in. She obviously hasn`t learned, and putting yourself in the hero position is noble, but what happens if they both turn on you and lie to the cops and say you attacked him for no reason AND her?

That`s happened before PLENTY of times.
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Male 748
@mal BB

Mason Manford? Don`t you mean Jason? ;D

This guy isn`t like Jason Manford.
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Male 2,344
I once beat the poo outta a guy in a taco bell parking lot for smacking his girl across the side of the head right in front of me. Didn`t really give him much warning other than to shout hey, and when he turned and tried to tell me to F`off I punched the poo outta him and then laid into him a few more times...cops arrived, arrested the guy and the girl stated that i was defending her so I didn`t get arrested. I alwauys wondered if she was smart enough to get away from him after that.
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Male 10,440
I find that English accent hilarious.
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Female 130
"Not bashing the ad, but I think it`s better to promote the partner`s awareness that the other person is a git and to get the drat out"

There are plenty of those ads as well in the uk as well as ones like this showing it from the abusers ppoint of view.
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Male 995
Sad reality is that if people like this could see themselves they would probably clap and cheer.
Not bashing the ad, but I think it`s better to promote the partner`s awareness that the other person is a git and to get the drat out
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Male 871
@Codejockey are you some sort of idiot!?

"I have as little respect for people that stay in a place of abuse as I do for abusers"

Then you clearly have no clue as to the psychology of an abuse victim maybe you should avoid making such ridiculously uninformed commments untill you fully understand the situation.
76% of separated women reported suffering post-separation violence, women are at greatest risk of homicide at the point of separation or after leaving a violent partner
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Male 418
yeah i`m old fashioned, but i have and would never. My Fiance` loves being with me and having sex with me, mainly because i show here actual love and attention. I always consider what makes her feel good and happy. A guy that sees his own pleasure before considering hers is pathetic, selfish, and doomed to be a lonely loser forever.
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Female 397
it`s crunch time young lady.
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Male 4,593
How cheerful.
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Male 9
@ almightybob1: Maybe the ads need to be a little more serious. The stupid PSAs they have here in the States don`t really speak loud enough to the kids these days. Not sure if this type of ad does either, but if I had to have my pick...
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Male 1,383
Ewww just the way he takes off that belt at the end, that made it creepy.
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Male 1,231
Lednar-"In Soviet Rusia girlfriends abuse boys"
Interesting point actually- there is cases of men being abused in a relationship, but you never see any adverts for it (Public awareness, not Buy one get one free). Maybe its not common enough?
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Male 1,231
He reminded me a bit of lovable Mancunian comedian Mason Manford, but he wouldn`t behave like that.
Powerful advert, probably the most hard hitting one i`ve seen since the last barnardos one. Its beyond me how anyone an treat their girlfriend like that though- they`d have to be pretty f`d up.
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Male 4,290
What`s with our government and its sudden love of shock tactics and creepy threatening adverts?
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Male 36
Ive had to watch this too many times
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Male 353
wow, that was pretty powerful
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Male 231
Ok guys....sorry for saying this....but when he threw that phone it was AWESOME :D I giggled my ass off for like two minutes straight then re-winded it and watched it again. But still, I say if anyone`s boyfriend treats them like this they should kick him as hard as possible in the nuts and call the police. NOT COOL
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Male 3,619
///respecting commercial
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Female 8,058
Makes me want to cry- do not ever ever ignore this girls. You can get out- there IS help. Tell someone what is happening, men too as it goes both ways. If you stay, your self confidence will be eroded to the point where you cannot leave. For all you idiots who think this is funny- well grow up and ask someone who has lived through it.
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Male 5,626
"Jockey, you`re an ignorant person. "
Yes, I am an ignorant jerk for saying "WAKE UP AND LEAVE HIM BEHIND!" and, at the same time, to him, saying "Once you know your parents effed you up, it`s no longer an excuse for being an ass."



"...there are 2 versions of the commercial..."
THAT makes more sense. It doe`s not make sense to show one POV and not the other. What are the chances of them having children, also being abused.
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Male 12,365
It was attempted murder anyway, regardless of what he might or might not have done (presumption of innocence, anyone remember that?). Defence is a valid defence against an assault charge of any severity, including killing. Attempting to kill someone while they`re asleep is not defence. At best, it`s revenge. Which is not a valid defence.

Although the defence law is different for women and allows revenge to be ruled defence if a woman does it, I disagree with that. I advocate sexual equality, of which sexual equality under the law is an absolute minimum.
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Male 5,626
"nothing wrong with him that a pot of boiling water "
"wait till he`s asleep and cut `im."

You two don`t seem to know what happens if she uses a weapon while he is asleep:
John and Lorena Bobbit had the same scene only they were already married (she married this douche for his family`s money) and their scene transitioned right after he smacked her down and ass rammed her until he passed out so she cut it off and tossed it in the trash.

He ended up in an agreement to do porn in order to repay the surgical debt (married him for...)

SHE ENDED UP IN PRISON. It seems that the legal definition of rape was worded so that it was not possible for a man to be tried for rape of a person to whom he is married which made her action attempted murder.
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Male 1,557
In fact this is different than the version on TV. In the one on TV she goes "alright, I`ll do it" but he`s holding her by the hair and says "why would I want to now? Look at you, you`re pathetic"
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Male 1,557
CodeJockey there are 2 versions of the commercial, one where its the guy`s POV watching it, saying "why are you being this way towards her?" and one of the girl saying "why can`t you see he is actually abusing you?"
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Male 26
Jockey, you`re an ignorant person.
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Male 15,832
There`s nothing wrong with him that a pot of boiling water in the middle of the night wouldn`t fix.
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Male 5,626
@Nebbie
No point missed. He`s a douche. The scene appears to be based on someone`s experience and capitalizes HIS douchiness.

Less apparent but, still present if one is to tell the truth: She invited a douche into her room rather than admitting he`s a douche. THAT IS A FORM OF SELF ABUSE.

By the time they were at that point, she had more than enough evidence to say "Hmm... You know, he IS a douche!" Instead, she continues to build a shrine in room to her and her douche.

I have as little respect for people that stay in a place of abuse as I do for abusers.
It is not insensitive to tell not just either but BOTH of these people: "The first thing you have to do is NOT GO BACK to a place of abuse."
And yes, I am saying, if want to analyze him further, the probability is high the HE has also been the victim in one of these scenes at a different time in his life.
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Male 9,305
*shivers*
It creeps me out double because I know somewhere, someone is doing this right now, and they don`t have anyone to help them.
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Female 134
At first it was funny and then it was sad T_T
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Female 1,682
..Jesus. What makes it worse is that things like this actually happen -.- So sad :(
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Male 639
Let him take his pants off, then a swift kick in the nuts will bring him to his knees. At that point she should just take the glass vase on the shelf and crack it over his f*cked up head.
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Male 864
"Me too. More like some drama queen`s idea for a story than anything that actually happened."

My girlfriend has an ex that did pretty much this exact thing. So... Your call.
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Male 586
Damn you obrakiller! the whole time through that video I was thinking the exact same thing! you beat me to the punch.
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Male 864
@CodeJockey Wow. Way to COMPLETELY miss the point. Do things go this far over your head often?
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Male 7,834
god, i just couldnt take him seriously with that accent. no offense to those of you who have it, its just not threatening.
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Male 5,626
OK, while I by no means advocate physical abuse, I have to point out that there is more than thing wrong here.

Clearly, a teen girl that feels comfortable enough to invite him into her into room, WHILE HER FAMILY IS AWAY, has had enough time to know that this person is interested in an active sexual relationship.
She wants intimacy but, is not willing to engage in what goes with it (not willing to pay for it.) What she wants is a girlfriend with muscles.

He wants physical intimacy but, has not learned the value of companionship (not willing to pay for it.) What he wants is a sex-bot.

I`d probably have made the ad tag (each watching himself through the glass) "Do you see yourself? Do you even want the same thing?"

By the way, she is totally the type that says
"NO WAY! Ricky Martin has to be straight!!!"
or in an earlier time
"NO WAY! George Michael has to be straight!!!"
"NO WAY! Elton John has to
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Male 109
In Soviet Rusia girlfriends abuse boys.
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Male 208
@ thelonius

Are you implying that abuse is out dated or just old news? Either one is stupid.
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Male 4,546
Well that`s creepy as drat.
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Female 914
wait till he`s asleep and cut `im.
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Male 2,440
[quote]Can you imagine this with Harry Potter and Hermione instead?[/quote]

I am now. xD
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Male 3,310
Guys guilting women into sex! More on the 10,000 bc news report!
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Male 15,510
Can you imagine this with Harry Potter and Hermione instead?
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Female 224
:(. that makes me wanna cry
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Male 136
"Guys view women as a means to sex."

I`m an holistic kinda guy, I see the world as a means to sex.
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Female 2,352
Not that great of a PSA but it happens.
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Male 185
Throw... PHONE!
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Male 2,309
"Me too. More like some drama queen`s idea for a story than anything that actually happened."

Really? I hear about this kinda poo all the time. Maybe not with the hair pulling, but certainly guys guilt, or treat girls like poo in order to get them to have sex, or pressure them constantly or demand it and say they `need` it.

Guys view women as a means to sex. At least, guys like that.
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Female 1,306
The guy abusing the girl was such a complete gross douchebag that I don`t think he would have stopped himself if he was seeing it happen.

Also, I see ZERO PSAs like this in America (at least where I live). I mean, I literally never see one on TV. Do they have a lot of them showing in Europe?
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Male 2,309
Pretty drating scary if you ask me.
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Male 3,332
"I`ve seen it happen, I`ve had it happen to me. It`s as fun as it looks. :|"

I`m so sorry to hear that. Seriously.
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Female 540
Why does Europe always have so many better PSA`s than America? Is it the censoring in America or something? Not that this one is fabulous, but just in general.
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Male 5,194
>>I find this situation hard to believe.

Me too. More like some drama queen`s idea for a story than anything that actually happened.
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Female 721
I`ve seen it happen, I`ve had it happen to me. It`s as fun as it looks. :|

I do like the add-in of the guy trying to stop himself by screaming and banging on plexiglass.
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2,845
all i can think i harry potter! they sound so funny!
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Male 4,807
"You`re gonna ave to put sum work into it to get me ready now"
Funny accent.

Having said that. I can see this relationship lasting to a long a abusive marriage.
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Female 236
"I find this situation hard to believe."

Aren`t you lucky one. Abusive douches rarely do things that make sense. They get off on power trips over stupid crap.
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Male 848
Facepalm*
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Male 17,511
What a tool!
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Female 92
I find this situation hard to believe.
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Male 141
Link: The UK`s New Domestic Abuse Advert [Rate Link] - Hey guys, is it really worth being a douchebag?
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