Rockin' in the free world since 2005.

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Rating: 3.4
Category: Funny
Date: 04/17/10 10:01 AM

81 Responses to The Complete Beard Scale [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of trp712
    trp712 Male 18-29
    2240 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 1:21 am
    Link: The Complete Beard Scale - Where do you fit in, I-A-B guys? I-A-B ladies, what do you prefer?
  2. Profile photo of Slmmhmmr161
    Slmmhmmr161 Male 18-29
    606 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 10:05 am
    Always confused Handlebar mustaches and Horseshoes.
  3. Profile photo of Zerocyde
    Zerocyde Male 18-29
    3258 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 10:15 am
    First off, nice stretch, lol.

    Second, I`m unfortunetly at Colonel Sanders cause the drating sides wont connect into a goatee! I`ve had full facial hair since I was drating 14 and I STILL cant get them damned sides to connect!!
  4. Profile photo of bnimp
    bnimp Male 18-29
    29 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 10:17 am
    That`s not a Goatee... the `Goatee with a mustache` is just a Goatee.
  5. Profile photo of Pabasa
    Pabasa Male 18-29
    4014 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 10:18 am
    My beard+moustache does not match any of these categories. If any it`s more of like an Abe Lincoln + a simple moustache... for some reason I can`t get hair to grow under my lips...

  6. Profile photo of Chaim
    Chaim Male 30-39
    167 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 10:36 am
    Mine is more Jihadist than homeless
  7. Profile photo of revodin
    revodin Male 18-29
    27 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 10:37 am
    @bnimp, the `Goatee with a mustache` is actually called a vandyke not a goatee
  8. Profile photo of mynamecandi
    mynamecandi Female 18-29
    209 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 10:39 am
    Hehee my husband`s beard is a cross between a full beard and an unkept beard...It`s 100% sexy
  9. Profile photo of LillianDulci
    LillianDulci Female 18-29
    2674 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 10:40 am
    I prefer no facial hair, or maybe a little bit on the chin, but a very little bit, and it has to work with the guys face. I let my boyfriend keep his sideburns `cause he likes them though. And they look fine on him, just a lil silly :P
  10. Profile photo of slab-of-rage
    slab-of-rage Male 18-29
    769 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 10:44 am
    Way down past Hitler should be `Chicks with facial hair`.
  11. Profile photo of shortsagitar
    shortsagitar Female 18-29
    676 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 10:48 am
    I like 5 o`clock shadow....
  12. Profile photo of riotDX
    riotDX Male 18-29
    600 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 11:04 am
    I`m a goatee guy myself. Also, a "landing strip" is something else entirely, although I suppose you could call it a beard of sorts for ladies
  13. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12155 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 11:05 am
    Goatee, very short, almost stubble. No mustache.
  14. Profile photo of Loxen
    Loxen Female 30-39
    1387 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 11:08 am
    I like to refer to #2 as the "wizard"...
    Though, its often not as awesome in person as it is in pics... infact, people sporting a beard that long tend to creep me out irl.
  15. Profile photo of DeutschDude9
    DeutschDude9 Male 18-29
    473 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 11:10 am
    I`m so glad hitler killed the hitler, it was a stupid look anyways. Now all we need is for someone to kill the soul patch
  16. Profile photo of Geogypsy
    Geogypsy Female 18-29
    2530 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 11:40 am
    If I could, I would SO grow The Philosopher!
  17. Profile photo of regalia13
    regalia13 Female 18-29
    212 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 11:45 am
    This was funny... and youre right riot... I thought that too
  18. Profile photo of Keelouna
    Keelouna Male 18-29
    36 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 11:46 am
    I`ve got a chin strap with Goatee..
  19. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10445 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 11:49 am
    I don`t have any of these, its just random scruff.
  20. Profile photo of Dakkar
    Dakkar Male 18-29
    1256 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 11:53 am
    Trimmed, full beard.

    Although Shakespeare and I haven`t the best relationship, I do enjoy this line, "He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man."
  21. Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10714 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 11:53 am
    It should be:
    The toothbrush mustache
    aka Adolf Hitler
    Charlie Chaplin
  22. Profile photo of panth753
    panth753 Female 18-29
    9149 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 11:57 am
    Sideburns are hot. and lol @ the last one, I totally saw that coming.
  23. Profile photo of duffytoler
    duffytoler Male 40-49
    5196 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 12:18 pm
    Soul Patch != Landing Strip.
    Wrong gender, wrong body part.
  24. Profile photo of crimsonattck
    crimsonattck Male 18-29
    364 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 12:22 pm
    I was just waiting for the hitler one.
  25. Profile photo of Stane
    Stane Male 18-29
    316 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 12:44 pm
    I can`t stand it when my facial hair gets very long. It`s too itchy.
  26. Profile photo of symbolica
    symbolica Female 18-29
    41 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 12:48 pm
    :> werewolf made me giggle.
  27. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25350 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 1:40 pm
    Wow, i have the pencil thin beard! thats retarded!
  28. Profile photo of yeayeayea23
    yeayeayea23 Female 18-29
    142 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 1:55 pm
    i definitely prefer no facial hair. at most a house-esque beard
  29. Profile photo of Rick_S
    Rick_S Male 40-49
    3262 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 2:20 pm
    I alternate between full and unkempt
  30. Profile photo of MrYouKnow
    MrYouKnow Male 13-17
    1081 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 2:45 pm
    I scrolled down and was like "Where`s the comments!?!?"
  31. Profile photo of ferdyfred
    ferdyfred Male 40-49
    13515 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 3:01 pm
    Is the Hitler still going??
  32. Profile photo of sourkrauter
    sourkrauter Male 18-29
    895 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 3:03 pm
    pretty much all i can grow is the goatee, the mustache and sideburns dont really come in very thick. i used to grow my goatee long, people at school feared my mighty goatee
  33. Profile photo of xlnc14
    xlnc14 Male 18-29
    165 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 3:20 pm
    hahaha "aka The Sidney Crosby"
  34. Profile photo of JJXanadu
    JJXanadu Male 30-39
    516 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 3:21 pm
    "Is the Hitler still going??"

    I`ve seen at least 6 different people with it in the last 4 months or so... seemed ok after my initial shock.

    Also, I work in NYC, so I`ve seen much worse in that same amount of time.
  35. Profile photo of The_tru_bob
    The_tru_bob Male 18-29
    181 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 3:22 pm
    Not all beards...still not funny though.
  36. Profile photo of zmeace
    zmeace Male 18-29
    807 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 3:31 pm
    everyone that i see with the beard+goatee is always a nerd or geek
  37. Profile photo of deeplick
    deeplick Male 18-29
    234 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 3:40 pm
    @ ferdyfred

    See the problem is that Hitlers mustache was a very common way to wear facial hear back then. He was not the first one to do it, it was like the soul patch today but of mustaches, but thanks to Hitler, it has become a racist thing which is sad. It is just some facial hair under the nose. We only give it the power we think it has, if we didn`t worry about it, it would become just another style of facial hair.
  38. Profile photo of gorgack2000
    gorgack2000 Male 13-17
    4683 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 3:46 pm
    Proud owner of a soulpatch-in-training.
  39. Profile photo of bizzarmind
    bizzarmind Male 18-29
    390 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 3:51 pm
    chin tuft....ftw
  40. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17516 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 4:00 pm
    #2 is not `The Philosopher`, It`s the `Bin Laden`
  41. Profile photo of SarahofBorg
    SarahofBorg Female 18-29
    3564 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 4:01 pm
    There`s really no reason to have a Hitler mustache. It looks like poo is hanging from your nose.
    But in the end, the man makes the beard. Any beard looks hot on a handsome guy.
  42. Profile photo of BigWaFuu
    BigWaFuu Male 18-29
    1163 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 4:23 pm
    mine is a thin colonel sanders
  43. Profile photo of Koner_Rox
    Koner_Rox Male 18-29
    112 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 4:43 pm
    soul patch aka better than yours
  44. Profile photo of dfcrackhead
    dfcrackhead Male 13-17
    327 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 5:05 pm
    I want the philosopher x 20 when I get old
  45. Profile photo of entwife
    entwife Female 18-29
    536 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 5:16 pm
    Different guys look good with different beards, but I have to say, I have never yet seen an attractive example of either the neck beard or the Amish beard. But I am not opposed to the right style on the right guy :) You just have to know what works for you, fellas.
  46. Profile photo of xxxveganxxx
    xxxveganxxx Male 13-17
    383 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 5:51 pm
    You missed "The ZZ Top"
  47. Profile photo of gatorade777
    gatorade777 Male 18-29
    1195 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 6:03 pm
    reminds me of every video game ive ever played where i spend 5 minutes just deciding which mustache to have. like in fallout 3 there`s like 20 options.
  48. Profile photo of mathgirl12
    mathgirl12 Female 13-17
    117 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 6:18 pm
    they forgot the anti-soul patch
  49. Profile photo of Altaru
    Altaru Male 18-29
    3483 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 6:32 pm
    They forgot the Pai Mei.


    I wish I could grow a Pai Mei...

    But, alas, my beard naturally stops just short of the Amish, so I usually just cut it so it stays at a light stubble.
  50. Profile photo of nissanxterra
    nissanxterra Male 18-29
    426 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 6:49 pm
    I have the full beard. I hate shaving so i just trim up every two weeks or so haha
  51. Profile photo of WHOISIT12345
    WHOISIT12345 Male 18-29
    4398 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 7:18 pm
    Male, 40-49, Midwest US
    3695 Posts Saturday, April 17, 2010 4:00:19 PM
    #2 is not `The Philosopher`, It`s the `Bin Laden`

  52. Profile photo of peloos12
    peloos12 Male 18-29
    3825 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 7:23 pm
    HAHAHA I`ve always called my patchy beard the Sidney Crosby. It makes my day to know someone else does too.
  53. Profile photo of 81elky
    81elky Male 18-29
    20 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 9:10 pm
    mutton chops!
  54. Profile photo of HayleeHavok
    HayleeHavok Female 18-29
    91 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 9:18 pm
    Soul patch or nothing baby.
  55. Profile photo of iKit5
    iKit5 Female 13-17
    355 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 9:26 pm
    I saw a guy with a line going all around his head. Like, a thin chin strap that went into thin sideburns and into a line of hair on his head, the rest being shaved clean. It was the strangest thing I`ve ever seen.
  56. Profile photo of kalifag
    kalifag Female 18-29
    11 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 9:36 pm
    i didnt even notice the colors were changing until now.
  57. Profile photo of mrtatulas
    mrtatulas Male 18-29
    271 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 9:54 pm
    Definitely rockin` the Homeless for a while now.
  58. Profile photo of Rise23Up
    Rise23Up Male 18-29
    549 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 10:45 pm
    Did anyone else have trouble finding the comment section? I look around a good 30 seconds, overshooting it in each direction twice..

    I like the graphic though, the color change is pretty nice
  59. Profile photo of Raberboom
    Raberboom Male 18-29
    833 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 10:58 pm
    "Definitely rockin` the Homeless for a while now."

    me too, it started as bet, now i would be just to sad to get rid of it.
  60. Profile photo of jfactor
    jfactor Male 18-29
    149 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 11:16 pm
    Rockin the stache and soul patch
  61. Profile photo of astralomega
    astralomega Female 18-29
    162 posts
    April 17, 2010 at 11:38 pm
    I like my man clean shaven.

    "The Horseshoe" should be outlawed. Forever. Just, eeeewwww...
  62. Profile photo of undeadsd
    undeadsd Female 18-29
    13 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 12:46 am
    the horse shoe is actually called a fu manchu.

    my dad has one :) haha
  63. Profile photo of SamVimes
    SamVimes Male 30-39
    619 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 5:03 am
    My history is something like this -

    Homeless to Sidney Crosby to muttonchops to sideburns.
  64. Profile photo of MrsPoods
    MrsPoods Female 18-29
    547 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 7:31 am
    I love me a guy with a beard. But only beards, none of that pervy mustache or douchey goatee crap.
  65. Profile photo of KMeTG
    KMeTG Male 18-29
    1265 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 7:46 am
    Sideburns :)
  66. Profile photo of epiphany101
    epiphany101 Female 30-39
    513 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 8:11 am
    Damn...might be time to go get a wax again...I`m getting a bit werewolf on it.

    But seriously...I like goatees (with `tache). When they`re done well, they look great ;)
  67. Profile photo of Lord_Jereth
    Lord_Jereth Male 40-49
    725 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 8:21 am
    "the horse shoe is actually called a fu manchu."

    Sorry, but no. A "Fu Manchu" is simply a mustache that has been allowed to grow very long on the sides with the rest shaved or not growing at all. What you are referring to is actually called a "Horse Shoe" or, more commonly known as a "Gunslinger". The Gunslinger is a Van Dyke (Goatee + Mustache) with the chin shaved out of it.

    8-) LJ
  68. Profile photo of lostinkorea
    lostinkorea Female 30-39
    3727 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 8:57 am
    Forget beards, the HAIR makes the "man"...

  69. Profile photo of kikilalaz
    kikilalaz Male 18-29
    52 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 10:19 am
    i always wanted to grow mutton chops 8D
  70. Profile photo of Handsompod
    Handsompod Male 30-39
    1109 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 11:59 am
    Lostinkorea, yeah, have a lot of fun with his vagina.
  71. Profile photo of Dr_Sexy
    Dr_Sexy Male 30-39
    1597 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 12:24 pm
    hitler moustache is actually called a toothbrush moustache.

  72. Profile photo of alchemist18
    alchemist18 Female 13-17
    357 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 3:01 pm
    Only get goatee or landing strip...all the rest are a waste.
  73. Profile photo of saaytin
    saaytin Male 18-29
    171 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 5:53 pm
    Is the color scheme meant to show social acceptibility? Green for good red for bad?
  74. Profile photo of idiotfilter
    idiotfilter Male 18-29
    3916 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 6:19 pm
    "the hogan" as they call actually the TRUE handlebars....not the Frenchman stache they used...
  75. Profile photo of AmyNicoleduh
    AmyNicoleduh Female 18-29
    1158 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 7:56 pm
    where`s the five o`clock shadow? that is what i prefer.
  76. Profile photo of rakoonhat
    rakoonhat Female 30-39
    655 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 8:10 pm
    personally, i think they are all disgusting. few men can have a beard and not look dirty, let alone look somewhat attractive.
  77. Profile photo of robosnitz
    robosnitz Male 40-49
    2738 posts
    April 18, 2010 at 11:09 pm
    I have the goatee with moustache,except I shave off the "Hitler" region. I call it the Leprechaun.
  78. Profile photo of KRAYZEEGIRL
    KRAYZEEGIRL Female 30-39
    447 posts
    April 19, 2010 at 1:36 am
    The Werewolf!!! But only because I love Keanu :)
  79. Profile photo of Rainwolf28
    Rainwolf28 Female 18-29
    82 posts
    April 19, 2010 at 9:05 am
    My best bud has the werewolf! And my other....hes fresh shaved
  80. Profile photo of Firstloser
    Firstloser Male 18-29
    5 posts
    April 19, 2010 at 8:18 pm
    Chin Tuft FTW!
  81. Profile photo of Rawrandmer
    Rawrandmer Female 13-17
    282 posts
    April 19, 2010 at 10:25 pm
    I like girls wearing fake mustaches. and guys with a little bit of a mustache. the girls with the fake paper ones pull it off better.

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